Balance (The Neumarian Chronicles) (24 page)

“Rest?”

He chuckled. “Perhaps more,” he said, closing the door to the guest room given us. He marched across the room and slid his halo pad into a drew.

“What are you hiding from me?” I nudged him out of the way and opened the drawer. Swiping the combination to open it, I scanned the information. “You’re writing letters to Laos and Annie?”

Ryder sighed. “I wanted them to know how much we love them. Stupid, I guess.”

“I wish I’d thought of it.” I pulled his head down to me, stopping when our breaths mingled.
“We’re about to go to war. I get it, we won’t all make it out alive. It makes perfect sense. I can’t imagine a moment without any of you.”

He m
assaged my thigh and we sat quiet for several moments. “We’ll make it out. I know we will.”

“Ryder?” I took in a long breath. “We won’t. I know someone will die.”

Ryder looked up at me. “What do you mean?”

“
My mother’s prophecy. In the beginning, there was a chance Penton was the one that would die.”

“Yes, but he didn’t.” Ryder wrapped his arms around my waist.

“But someone will. I just don’t know who. I assumed it was Penton because he’s the closest friend to the Triune. Mother’s been right about everything else. Well, except the part where I’m not there at the final battle.”

Ryder stiffened. “What are you talking about?”

I brushed his hair away from his eyes and smiled. “It’s nothing. I realized in my dream I wasn’t at the final battle, but Father said that’s because the statistics changed. Mother’s prophecy was based on the current information and all sorts of crazy statistics her Neumarian brain calculated. After her death, things changed and she wasn’t here to alter her premonition based on those changes. Father thinks I wasn’t in the dream because I was supposed to die, but since that didn’t happen, the future changed.”

Ryder stood, pulling me up with him
, his eyes wide, his chest rising and falling with vigor. “But we’re not there yet. I can’t remember our plans, not with this block in my head, but there is still a great distance to Acadia.”

He pulled me tight against him. “This can’t be happening. I won’t lose you. I can’t. You’re the one who was destined to survive
. I always thought…”

I slid from his arms and cupped his face. “You always thought you’d be the one to die and I’d live. It’s
the same for me. I would rather die so you could live.”

Surprise filled me as u
nshed tears welled in his eyes. In all this time, I’d never seen him cry. The man of pure strength was melting from grief in my arms.

He cupped the nape of my neck then froze. Turning me to face away from him, he lifted my hair.
I cringed, knowing how he felt about implants.

“Don’t do that
,” he rasped.

“What?”

“It’s not ugly, just a beautiful extension of who you are.” His lips brushed over the implant, the most sensitive part of my body, and a zap of pleasure shot down my arms and legs. As he continued his exploration of the back of my neck, I moaned and dropped my head.

“Does it hurt at all?”
he breathed into my ear while his fingers massaged under the device.

“No
,” I sighed. “It’s just ultra-sensitive, as if it’s connected to every nerve ending in my body.”

His lips danced feather light kisses down my neck, across the implant and up to my other ear. “If tonight is all I get
, I want to know every inch of you.”

His words ignited my body. My eyes fluttered closed as his hands caressed my skin. It wasn’t just the implant that was sensitive, it was every
inch of me. Each kiss, touch, or breath sent me to another level of pleasure, the way only Ryder achieved.

Chapter Twenty-nine

I eased out of Ryder’s arms, my body feeling sated and relaxed. My mind—well, that was something else. Sadness at the knowledge of what was to come, the expected loss of life, and terror we would fail consumed me. Only after I’d slipped into my uniform, jammed on my boots, and secured my weapons in my holster did l lean down and brush my lips over his.
“It’s time.”

He s
at up and tugged me flush to him, his mouth covering mine. “I love you.”

“I know.” We’d gone through hell and come out stronger for it. But our love didn’t change a thing. One or both of us might be dead within the next twenty-four hours.
“Promise me something,” I said, pressing a kiss to the hollow of his neck.

“Anything.”

“When this is over, repeat what you did last night.”

His hands shook and I knew he didn’t want me to leave. Th
is man, who was a born protector, had to leave the woman he loved to an unknown fate. His one consolation, he didn’t know our plans, or the extent of the danger. He not only didn’t remember our discussions and battle plans from the day before, but Father had also blocked all memory of Helvetia’s people and our base in the Highlands from Raeth and his minds.

“With pleasure
,” he choked. “Now go, before I—”

“C
hange your mind and drag me off to a secret location and have your wicked way with me?”

He gifted me with a heart-melting smile. “Absolutely.” Stepping back, he said, “Go.”

My feet felt anchored to the floor, my heart pleading not to leave him. “Keep my image and love in the forefront of your mind.” At his forlorn expression, I had to keep from throwing myself back into his arm. “It’s important, Ryder. No matter what happens or what Mandesa tries to tell you, my husband, you have to remember me and our love.”

“As if I could forget. Now, go.”

Stifling a sob, I nodded and rushed from the room. As I approached the rally point, I spotted Bendar, not McCormick. A second later, Father exited an office and pulled me into a hug.
McCormick’s going with his troops. Take Bendar with you. The shuttle’s fueled and waiting.
He pulled away, his expression as heartbreaking as Ryder’s.
How do I let you go
?

Remind yourself it’s for the greater good
. Through our connection, I felt the war raging within him at my leaving and our insane plan. I suspected the only reason he didn’t throw me in the brig in an attempt to keep me safe was Penton stepping in front of him.

General, I have one request
.

What’s that
, son?

If I do make it out of this,
Raeth and I’d like you to marry us.

Father
nodded.
Count on it
.

Standing
on my tiptoes, I smacked the back of Penton’s head.
Dumbass, you should’ve married her last night
.

Raeth glided to us with a determined
gait.
I agree. You refused to marry me because you’re worried you’ll die and for some reason you think if we aren’t married it won’t devastate me. For a genius, you’re sometimes as dumb as a bucket of cogs and wheels. You own my heart and soul, Penton. That means we’re already married. So understand this, husband, if you die, I’ll kill you.

Um, Raeth? If I’m dead, you can’t kill me.

Then I’ll find you and make your afterlife hell
. She grabbed the front of his uniform and yanked his face down to hers, planting one hell of a kiss on his lips. When she released him and stalked off, he would’ve toppled over if Father hadn’t propped him up against the wall.

Dang, that
’s some girl you’ve got there
, Father chuckled.

“
Yes. Yes, she is,” Penton murmured.

I
recommend you survive
, I suggested.

Grinning, he pulled his gaze from Raeth as she disappeared down a side corridor.
Right. Otherwise, she might find a way to bring me back just to kill me if I don’t
.

I’m sure of it
.
I looped my arm through his as we followed Father and Bendar.

Bendar elbowed Father. Unfortunately, given his height, he connected with Father’s leg mid-thigh.
Never such forward woman before
.

I blame
Mandesa
,
Father said.

At my snort, they paused and stared at me with identical arched eyebrows. Men. When they weren’t
being patronizing, they assumed no responsibility for female outrage.
Who are you men going to blame after we defeat Mandesa? Us?

Naturally
, they answered simultaneously.

Penton and I were still chuckling as we exited
the building and slinked down an alley to the east docking bay.

As we got closer, I took in the bombed out structure.
Where’s the shuttle?
I asked Father.

You can only get there by an u
nderground train
.
Bendar knows the way
.
Once you get back to the base, take my winged experiment as we discussed.

I know, Dad. Land near the desert and the refugees will hide it. From there, I make contact with those providing the disruption, and ensure we have a shot at making it out of this alive.

Correct. The Artereses’ shuttle lands at first light. The underground city’s provided transportation. Be in position by then.

What about you? When do you arrive?

After Raeth and Ryder. Want to throw-off the general and Mandesa. You’ll receive intel via a messenger in Acadia. Mags
.
She’s in the position, awaiting contact
.

Mags
?
The corners of my lips tugged into a smile. How I longed to see that crazy old lady again.

I thought
you’d be pleased
. Father winked.
Remember to release your attack as Mandesa’s ships rise. Between your force, the rebellion’s, and the sleeper third wing, we should neutralize most of her military. What we don’t, Penton’s gas will
.

I nodded.
I’ll make you proud, Dad.

You already do
. Now go, before someone sees you.

Bendar hobbled to the stairway and led
Penton and I down two flights of stairs to a track with a small rail car. More of a platform with an engine.

With our mental connection severed
, no one spoke, communicating only through body language and gestures. Bendar handed us each a pair of googles. We put them on and boarded the flatbed.

Penton sat cross-legged, bracing himself between the engine and
Bendar on a seat bolted to the wooden slat floor. I wedged in on the other side of Penton and held on, praying it wouldn’t be as rough as the old gunrunning car we’d taken in Middle Europe.

The engine sputtered to life
, shaking the floorboards. It rocked, sputtered then finally the car rolled slowly forward. An old man with a cane went faster.

Bendar glanced back. “Ha, not like
before.”

We both relaxed
, stood, and clutched the back of Bendar’s seat. “We could make faster time walking,” I muttered.

“Yes, but rats big.
One big as me.” Bendar shook his arms, rolled his spine left and right then opened the throttle.

Gradually, we picked up speed, but not enough to warrant hanging on for dear life.
I shivered as we chugged into a dark, dank tunnel.

“Any undead down here?” Penton asked
.

Damn him. Why’d he have to mention the undead?

“Nope, jus’ rats.”

Bendar’s comment didn’t instill any confidence.
I narrowed my gaze, squinting at a crunching noise a few meters away. “I wonder why I don’t find that comforting.”

As the car crawled along, the rats out racing us,
I thought about finally reuniting with Mags. If anyone could help win this war, it was that feisty old woman with her big guns. I felt confident our plan was solid. We had trusted, seasoned troops. We had intel pouring in from people who went unnoticed. And we had the element of surprise with my attack force. Nothing could stop us.

An hour later
, we rolled into a bay, lights flickering on without command. Slick, clean walls surrounded us.

“Use secret launch often
,” Bendar mumbled.

“For once, we managed to make it from one place to another without
incident,” I said with a grin.

Penton nodded, but remained quiet.
He offered his hand to help me down from the platform then helped Bendar, and we followed him to a hatch. “You think I’m wrong for not marrying her, don’t you, Semara?”

“
Yes. You only have today. None of us know if we’ll have tomorrow. Even if there wasn’t a war, life is unpredictable. Over the past year, I learned to grab happiness when and where I can.”

Bendar
keyed in a code, spun the wheel, and opened the hatch into a small, four man sea and air shuttle. “Raeth right. Semara right. You stupid,” the small man said, glancing up at Penton.

“Bendar
,” I said, trying but failing to hold back my laughter as Penton stared at him stunned.

“He asked
,” Bendar muttered, waddling to the co-pilot’s seat.

Sliding into the pilot’s chair, I scanned
the controls then reached for the ignition button.

Bendar grasped my hand. “Best not. Use float.”
He pointed out the back window.

I located
two ships. They were small and insignificant, but that didn’t mean they weren’t a threat to us. “Spy ships?”

He
nodded. “They’ve been traveling up and down the coast all night.”

“So
, Mandesa will know the moment our underwater support launches. I’m sure it’s the same for the air, too.”

Penton cleared his throat.
“I’m worried we’re making a mistake. The Triune should’ve remained together.”

“I
’ve thought the same thing. It didn’t matter if they took all three of us out together or just one. It’s the same either way, the Triune would no longer exist. But this time’s different. Mandesa expects Ryder and Raeth to come to her. They’ll be inside with protection and able to help once we attack. That leaves each of us free to handle our part.” Keeping my gaze on the front window, I waited for some larger fish to swim near the shuttle then disengaged the docking clamps and floated away with them. “And if I know Mandesa, which I do, she thinks because she’s got two of us, we can’t take her down. She’s wrong.”