Bad News Cowboy (16 page)

If he hadn't already known it, this proved it. He was the King Midas of fuckups. Everything he touched turned to shit.

This was why he liked it easy. This was why he liked things surface. Charm could fix everything when no one was overly invested. A smile, a joke, a round of beer... It solved whatever problem he had.

But he couldn't fix this thing with Kate no matter how hard he tried. Feelings. Too many of them.

Guys like him had to stick with simple for this very reason.

Bad blood.

Yeah. But if no one saw you bleed, they never knew.

Too bad Kate Garrett had seen him bleed. Too bad he'd bled all over her.

Yeah. Too damn bad.

It made him wonder if the charity event would prove anything at all. Or if it was just another thing he was destined to destroy.

* * *

T
HE
DRESS
DIDN
'
T
seem as special as it had when she bought it for the purpose of seducing Jack. Now it just seemed pointless. She'd seduced Jack already. In a T-shirt, jeans and cotton undies. And it was over without him ever having seen this.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was down and straight, since as far as she knew, curling was not in the listed skills on her hair's résumé. Liss had promised she would weave some flowers into it so that it matched hers. And while that was going on, Sadie was going to do her makeup.

Kate had never worn makeup before. She wasn't sure how she felt about it.

Well, she might have been excited about it if she'd had a seduction to look forward to. As it was, she had an awkward postseduction walk down the aisle to look forward to. Which was not the same thing.

She didn't have time to worry about Jack. Didn't have time to allow herself to be derailed. Once the wedding was over, she was going to redouble her focus on the barrel racing. Getting ready for the event at the charity day. Getting ready to kick some serious butt.

Her stomach tightened with anxiety when she thought of that. If she really did this, if she really did well, it was just one more change. One more step forward. She was starting to realize how difficult that was for her. How much it scared her.

But even though it sucks, you survived Jack.

Yes, she had. Maybe that was it. She needed to look at it as a step forward where her foot had landed in a cow pie, and she had slipped and fallen on her ass. But it was still a step forward. Still a change. And now she'd been with a man. One of life's great mysteries was now known to her.

Progress. Progress towing a boatload of awkwardness and hurt feelings, but progress nonetheless.

Liss walked into the light, airy bedroom Kate was currently standing in. “You look beautiful, Kate.” Her tone was a little bit too kind.

“Thank you?”

“Was that a question?”

“The tone of your voice is strange.”

Liss lifted her hand, showing a little bunch of baby's breath with little dried roses mixed in. “Not intentionally. I'm just here to fix your hair. Sit on the bed.”

Kate obeyed, and Liss started fiddling with her hairstyle immediately.

“So,” Liss started. And here it was. Kate had instinctively known something was coming. “Are you okay?”

“Why?”

“You're acting weird. And so is Jack. And I am not stupid.”

Kate's throat tightened and her stomach along with it. “It's fine,” she said, knowing she was completely unconvincing.

“If he did anything to you, I will kill him. Cheerfully.” She sounded cheerful but lethal.

For some reason that made Kate mad. Which was strange, because she was mad at Jack. Or more accurately, she was hurt because of him. But she didn't like the implication that what had passed between them was him “doing something to her.” She had wanted it. She had asked for it. He hadn't done anything she hadn't wanted except stop. And she couldn't imagine why Liss, who had known Jack almost as long as Kate had known him, would act like he was someone or something Kate needed to be protected from.

“You know, Jack is a good guy,” Kate said, her tone defensive. “He would never do anything to hurt me. He would never do anything to hurt anyone.”

“But that's the thing about Jack,” Liss said, her tone more firm. “He doesn't mean a lot of things. He can be... He's very charming, but he can be selfish.”

Kate thought about the evening she'd spent in Jack's bed. Selfish was the last thing she would call him. Even now, even while she was upset with him, she couldn't say that anything he'd done was selfish. In fact, he was thinking of Connor and Eli and their relationship. Was considering her feelings, even if it was in a way she didn't want them considered.

“Jack isn't selfish,” she said. She knew she sounded upset, and she didn't really care. She was comfortable being mad at Jack. She was not comfortable listening to Liss talk about him this way. “Who do you suppose helped take care of me when my dad was miserably drunk and Connor and Eli had their hands full? Jack did. And he's helping with this charity thing, and he's offered to help coach me on my riding so I can win this event. Because it's important to me, and he cares about that. And yeah, he pisses me off. Because he can be obnoxious. But he's a good man. You're supposed to be his friend. I wouldn't think you'd have a hard time seeing that.”

Liss continued calmly weaving flowers to Kate's hair. “I am his friend, Kate. Which means I have a realistic viewpoint on his shortcomings. It's difficult to have a realistic viewpoint when you have feelings that go somewhere beyond friendship.”

“And if I did, maybe it would be a problem,” Kate said, her teeth clenched.

“There are easier men to set your sights on. Jack likes a good time, but he won't stay around for a long time.”

“Easier men? Is that the goal? Because if so, I don't think you ever would've married my brother.”

Connor had been the grumpiest, most closed-down man in town until Liss had managed to get him to fall in love with her and, along with that, drag him up out of his grief.

“I'm not telling you what to do. Or what not to do. I'm just telling you I've observed that there is something different between you and Jack. And if you need to talk to me, you can.”

She swallowed hard. “Don't say anything to Connor?”

“I don't keep secrets from my husband. But right now I don't know any secrets,” she said, her tone full of meaning.

“There aren't any to tell,” Kate lied.

“Okay. If you say so. Anyway, your hair is done. Sadie will be up in a second. She's just getting the finishing touches done on her makeup. Then she'll do your face before she gets into her dress.”

Kate nodded mutely. Liss turned to go. “Wait,” Kate said. “Thank you for looking out for me. I've lost every woman who has ever come into my life. But now I have you. And Sadie is here to stay... I'm glad you're my sister, Liss. And I appreciate you offering advice.”

“Anytime,” she said, smiling slightly before leaving the room.

A few moments later Sadie came in, a bag of makeup in her hand. “Ready?”

Kate took a look at her reflection, which was still barefaced. Her hair was partially pulled back, some of the strands twisted around blossoms. There was something satisfying about how different she looked. As if her outside finally matched her insides. Ever since that night in Jack's bed, something had felt off.

Now at least she looked a little bit more like a woman. Sure, she'd always been a woman—the loss of her virginity didn't change that. But Jack had made her aware of just how much of a woman she was.

“Yes,” Kate said. “I'm ready.”

* * *

J
ACK
HADN
'
T
WORN
a suit since Connor's first wedding. His wedding to Liss had been casual, jeans and button-up shirts, no ties, down by the swimming hole they'd frequented as kids. The casual dress had been due in large part to the cold weather of the winter wedding, but it had also been a reminder of their past. Of the good things in the past, while they walked into the future.

Eli and Sadie's wedding, on the other hand, was not casual at all. Sure, it was all wrapped up in the rustic flavor of the Garrett ranch, but everything was elegant and styled, down to the most minute detail. Much like the bride. Sadie had that way about her. That effortless, free-spirit vibe. But beneath all of that she was much more thoughtful, much more purposeful.

All in all, someone he was glad to see marrying his best friend. Even if he did have to wear a suit.

The wedding was due to start soon, the seats placed out in the field filling up with guests.

He'd been assisting in the seating arrangements, but soon it would be time for him to take his position behind the barn with Sadie, Liss, Connor and Kate.

Kate, who he was no closer to fixing things with.

So much for his attempt at bringing things back to normal. He'd spent a good portion of last night pissed at himself about that and mad that he couldn't even get drunk, because he couldn't afford a hangover on the day of his friend's wedding. He scanned the crowd, spotting a host of familiar faces.

Instinctively, he homed in on the single, attractive female faces. Lydia was here, Holly the wedding coordinator and Alison. Alison was still a no-go, as far as he was concerned. But Lydia and Holly didn't have any relationship baggage that he knew of. Neither of them had a reputation, but that didn't mean they were opposed to a good time. It just meant they were discreet.

And that was fine with him. He wasn't looking to flaunt, wasn't looking to hurt Kate in any way.

It was just his snakebite theory. Kate Garrett made him feel snakebit. He needed antivenom.

Still, neither of those possibilities created even a kick of excitement in his gut. Which was dumb. Lydia was beautiful. Dark hair, dark eyes, petite, feminine frame. Holly was tall, willowy and pale with curly red hair and freckles across her nose. They represented some fine variety. Either one of them should do something for him. But no. Nothing.

His gut clenched tight, his whole body freezing, when an unexpected set of guests walked in. Nathan West, his beautiful wife, Cynthia, and three of the adult West children. Sierra, Madison and Gage. Colton, predictably, wasn't anywhere to be seen. But he very rarely was.

Of course the Wests would be here. All of them. Eli was a prominent figure in the community, and so were they. They had deep pockets and donated large sums to the sheriff's department. So obviously, they would be here for the wedding of the sheriff. For some reason Jack simply hadn't been prepared.

He started walking toward them, his stomach churning, anger firing through him. Nathan caught his eye, a warning look in the icy depths of his own, and Jack stopped. What the hell was he doing? He was going to make a scene at his best friend's wedding? For what purpose? There was none.

Jack stopped, but Nathan kept walking. He didn't look away from Jack, his eyes fixed on his.

“Mr. Monaghan,” Nathan said, extending his hand, a smile on his face.

Jack felt sick. But he wasn't about to be outdone. He took his father's offered hand and returned volley with a smile of his own. A smile that was far too similar to the older man's for his taste. “Mr. West.”

“I had to come shake the hand of my most worthy competition. Enjoy the wedding. Tell the bride and groom congratulations on my behalf.”

Jack squeezed West's hand. “Absolutely.” He released his hold, continuing away from the seating area and toward the back of the barn, rage now a living thing inside of him.

Nathan West got to walk around without ever having his reputation questioned, while Jack had to work his ass off to get any respect. There was something wrong with that.

There was also something deeply wrong with the fact that Jack had now made eye contact with his father twice. And there was no satisfaction in it.

Attention. Acknowledgment. It was a cold and bitter thing.

Big surprise—life wasn't fair. He'd known that from moment one. He just wished he didn't have to be reminded so damn frequently.

And then he felt a little bit like a prick for complaining, because at least he'd gotten a payout to keep his identity a secret. A lot of bastards just had to deal with the stigma and never got the reward.

It was all the child support his mother had never accepted. And then some. She had been furious when she found out he'd taken the money. When she found out he'd lowered himself, his pride, to that level. She'd sworn she'd never speak to him again. And she hadn't.

He still couldn't regret it. His mother'd had the power to give them something else and hadn't. Realizing that, he'd been angry, too.

They were both still angry.

Though now some of his anger was at himself.

He'd sold himself, but he hadn't sold himself on the cheap.

The first thing he saw when he rounded to the back of the barn was Sadie. Jack had never harbored any fantasies about getting married, but he could well imagine that any man who had would immediately want to snatch her up and carry her to the nearest church. She looked perfect, like an angel, like everything Eli deserved.

Then he turned and saw Kate. After that there was just nothing else.

She was wearing a dress the color of cranberries, little flowers in her dark hair, which hung loose around her shoulders. She so rarely left her hair down. Even the night they'd been together, it had been back in a braid. And he wanted desperately to sift his fingers through it, to feel the softness, the weight of it, to spread it out over his pillow.

Her eyes were highlighted with gold makeup, picking up all the subtle color she had naturally and making it even brighter. And her lips...painted the same color as the dress. He'd become increasingly aware of those lips in recent weeks and seeing them highlighted like this was torture.