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Authors: Saxon Bennett

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“Okay, segment one, how do you feel when you’re away from this person?”

“Like I can’t wait to see them again.”

Gerald sat on the couch and patted the seat next to him.

“Come, sit.”

Anne obeyed. The couch was upholstered in a tasteful sage brocade and went perfectly with the light oak furniture.

“That’s a good sign. And what happens when you’re together?”

“I have the best time and when it’s over all I can think about is when we’ll be together again.” Anne looked over at him. “It’s how I used feel with you.” She blushed. All these sensations came flooding over her. It was like a micro-movie of her life, past and present.

Falling in love with Gerald, getting mushy inside just watching him walk across the room when they were first going out. And now with Hilton, wanting to touch her bare shoulder this morning as she sat next to her on the bed, her blond hair still messy from sleep. How beautiful she looked dressed in a tank top and flannel pajama bottoms—vulnerable and kind.

“Okay, I’d say you’re in love.”

“Now, the other side of it is whether they’re in love with me.

Maybe I’m the only one having this feeling. This is all very con-fusing.” She took a sip of coffee, hoping it would bring her back to normal. She didn’t like being this out of control.

“I have an idea. Why don’t you bring them over for dinner on your birthday? Philip is chomping at the bit to get me to ask you.

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He really wants you to like him. What happened wasn’t his fault. It was all about me.”

“I think I know that now.”

“You know, Anne, maybe we were both pinch hitters in the wrong ballpark.”

“How did you know?”

“It’s the pronoun game. It’s a dead giveaway. What’s her name?”

“Hilton.”

“Bring Hilton for dinner. In four weeks Philip will have time to plan the dinner of all dinners and you’ll know more by then.”

“I can hardly think about my birthday yet. We still have to get through Thanksgiving. I can hardly wait. My mother will ask endless questions about you and my father will give me clandestine looks of pity and then finally I’ll get to go home feeling a worthless failure.”

“You could bring Hilton,” he suggested.

She laughed nervously. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

The image of introducing Hilton to her mother gave her instant heart palpitations. “But I am going to a Halloween party tonight at her place.”

He arched an eyebrow then he took her hand. “If you’re going to go there, don’t hide.”

She studied his face for a moment. The gravity of the choices he had had to make came crashing down on her. “It was hard, wasn’t it?”

“Very. But it was all worth it. I am who I was truly meant to be and I love Philip very much.”

“Okay, I’d better go,” Anne said, glancing at her watch.

“Any more questions, feel free.” He gave her a hug at the door.

“Anne, I never regretted the time we had together.”

She stared at him for a moment. “Neither did I.”

When Anne got to work everyone was in a panic. The show was to start in twenty minutes. She usually arrived an hour and a half before airtime to do research and get stoked for the two hours ahead.

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“Dude, I was almost going to get a ‘Best of’ show going,” Dave said. His usually messy hair was messier than usual. He’d obviously been running his fingers through it in nervous anticipation. In the four years they’d worked together, Anne had pretty much figured out all his stress indicators.

“Here’s more notes,” Hilton said, handing her a folder and a cup of coffee. “I thought you might need this. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Anne said breezily. “It’s just a little more difficult getting showered and dressed when you’re missing a thumb.” She smiled. It was true, but she neglected to mention that she had stopped at Gerald’s house on the way home. Sometimes when she looked at Hilton she wasn’t certain what she read there. Was it sisterly concern or something more?

“You should have called me. I would’ve come to help.” Hilton reached over and straightened out Anne’s shirt collar.

“Thank you.” Anne smiled at her, thinking that her look had something more in it.

“Ten minutes, dude,” Dave said. He tapped on Lillian’s desk.

Sometimes Lillian had a power nap before the show. Today was one of those days. She sat straight up, gave a little grunt and slapped her headphones on. Anne adored her. Everyone else at the station thought she was nuts for having a deaf call screener. If they only knew how absolutely entertaining she was.

“Must have stayed late at Bingo last night,” Dave said to Anne.

“What’s the topic?” Lillian screamed.

“Thumbs,” Hilton said.

“Bums, I’ve known a few in my day. My cousin Mildred married one. He was a cheating lying S.O.B. until the day he died. They think Mildred may have been instrumental in his untimely death.

His own tractor ran him over, three times.” Lillian chuckled.

Anne glanced at Hilton. She didn’t know if she could pull this off.

“It’ll be fine. We’ll get her straightened out. Just go in there and do your stuff,” Hilton said. She sat down at her computer and got the Web cam up and running.

Anne went in the booth and glanced at her notes. She didn’t 117

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like winging it. She was kind of like Shannon. She preferred routine days. This wasn’t one of them and her mind and body noted the stress. She pulled a packet of Advil Liquid Gels she’d gotten at the convenience store and popped two. Her thumb was killing her.

She glanced at the clock. Dave put on the intro tune, followed by top-of-the-hour weather and news. Anne’s monologue would follow. She put her headphones on, shut her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them she felt centered. She began her monologue.

After thirty minutes of airtime they took a break for station identification, news and weather, followed by commercials. Anne was in the control room watching the playback of the video. Ed, the program director, came into the control room wiping his eyes.

“My God, woman, that’s the funniest show yet. I’m half tempted to make the staff tape down their thumbs and see how we all get through the day.” He winked at Hilton. “You two need to hang out more often. Anne will get herself in the running for the Marconi Award. Carry on.”

Anne smiled and gave Hilton a high five with her good hand.

Just then Veronica came flying in. “I have the best news.”

“I won the Marconi already?” Anne asked. The Marconi Award was given out each year for best host, best program and a variety of other radio show stuff. It was the equivalent of the Emmys for television. Anne had been in the running a couple of times but had yet to win.

“What?” Veronica asked with a frown.

Hilton and Dave smirked. Veronica put her hand on her hip and pursed her lips. Then she said, “I’ve located the bear.”

Hilton swiveled around in her chair. The expression on her face was one of pure astonishment. “What?”

“Amelia Bearhart has been located. The woman and her child will be bringing the bear in after the show. I’ve already called Jessie. She’s going to locate Liz and Melissa. We shall regroup here for the return of the beloved bear.”

“Gee, could we be any more dramatic,” Dave grumbled.

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“We could if it means mail girl with the fake breasts comes up to see what our hard work produced. I’m thinking a lot of mileage for you, boyfriend,” Veronica said snidely.

“Shit! You’re right. I’ll call down and give her the heads-up. She did put up a lot of flyers yesterday,” Dave said, his eyes glossing over. He gave Veronica a big smile.

Veronica hesitated and then smiled back. “You’re welcome, Dave.”

Dave nearly fell off his chair.

Anne laughed. “Just think, in a mere hour and a half the world will be restored to its rightful self.”

Anne watched as Veronica in her tight black skirt and red blazer exited the control room. She noticed her disheveled hair of earlier was now tightly wound up in a neat bun. She was her old self. Anne inwardly sighed. Too many changes too soon made her nervous.

Dave leaned back in his chair and said, “I’ve worked here for four years and Veronica has never smiled at me.”

“She got laid last night,” Hilton replied.

“That’ll do it.”

Anne and Hilton laughed. She left for her booth. This time when she put her headphones on she felt better. The rest of the show would be easy.

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Chapter Ten

Jessie and Liz arrived first. Their morning classes were over and Jessie had the day off from the gym. Liz’s job at the computer lab didn’t start until three. Melissa had to take a late lunch break but she was scheduled to show any minute. The bear and her entourage had yet to arrive. Jessie was cooing over Veronica, and Liz was inquiring into the status of Anne’s thumb.

“It doesn’t hurt as much,” Anne replied.

“Dude, I’m so glad you got the bear back,” Dave told Jessie she sat on the corner of Hilton’s desk in the control room.

“She’s lucky because if Amelia didn’t show I would’ve taken a glue gun and sealed her vagina shut permanently,” Hilton said sweetly.

Anne looked at Hilton, clearly shocked. She was standing next to Hilton viewing the last playback of the show.

“It’s the part below the waist that gets her in trouble,” Hilton said. “I’m just looking out for the rest of the world.”

Dave got a funny look on his face and Jessie instinctively 120

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grabbed her crotch. “Dude, I don’t even have one but that sounds painful.”

“You nearly ruined my life,” Liz piped in. She was sitting next to Lillian, who was telling a story about her second cousin’s nephew who looked just like Jessie.

“I’m so sorry,” Jessie said. She actually looked remorseful, Hilton thought.

Hilton added the final touches to the Web site for the day’s broadcast. The people who listened to the stream on the Internet were adamant about getting all the details, and they called the station if they weren’t satisfied. She added the Halloween graphics Anne had decided on and typed a public service announcement warning everyone to be careful. It was funny how things, through a series of painful convolutions, worked their way out. She wondered if her life would ever find that peaceful sort of resolution.

They were all still talking but had moved into the reception area of the studio. Lillian had finished her story and was off for a Pall Mall. Dave was showing his girlfriend, the mail girl Gwin, the basic features of his D-800 control board. Hilton figured he planned on showing her a lot more later on. Melissa arrived, followed shortly by a woman and her small child.

“Hello, I’m Sarah Carthart and this is my daughter, Tiger Lily.”

“Nice to meet you,” everyone said in near unison.

“This is Melissa,” Liz said.

“Oh, yes, the lost bear’s owner,” Sarah Carthart said.

Hilton thought the woman looked like a younger version of Sigourney Weaver. The child must have been adopted; she appeared to be Chinese. About two, she was small and had long black hair and was clutching the bear to her chest. This had the potential to be heartbreaking. Hilton wished she could run out and buy the little girl every bear in Seattle just so she wouldn’t have to face this loss. The only problem with that was that this bear was the only one she wanted.

Jessie leaned down so she was eye-to-eye with the little girl.

“Hi, I’m Jessie. I was the one who lost the bear.”

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Tiger Lily nodded and held the bear tighter.

“She thought the bear was abandoned so she wanted to take it home and keep it safe,” Sarah explained.

“I was helping someone get their dog and when I came back Amelia was gone,” Jessie told her.

Hilton was watching Melissa, who didn’t appear to be paying any attention to Jessie but rather was staring at Tiger Lily.

Tiger Lily spoke up in toddler English, “I lost once, very scared. My new mom Sarah, she find me and made it all better.

Bear lost and scared. I save bear.”

“Very good, Tiger Lily, now give the lady her bear back,” Sarah prodded.

Tiger Lily looked sadly at the bear, kissed its forehead and whispered something in her ear. After a moment she thrust it at Melissa.

Melissa gave Amelia a squeeze and the held the bear up to her ear. “Tiger Lily, Amelia has decided she wants to stay with you.

She says you need her more than I do. Is that all right with you?”

Tears welled up in Tiger Lily’s eyes and a huge smile crossed her face. “Really? She said that?”

“Yes,” Melissa said as she handed her the bear.

Melissa was looking pretty stoic, Hilton thought. Tiger Lily was dancing around the room with her bear while Sarah thanked Melissa profusely. Anne and Hilton both happened to look over at Dave, who was just then dabbing his eyes with the corner of his T-shirt.

“Oh, my God, will you look at him,” Anne whispered to her.

“He’s sensitive,” Hilton whispered back. “And besides, he’s scoring major points with his new girlfriend.” Gwin was patting his shoulder.

“Boy, we know who’s going to wear the trousers in that family.”

Hilton laughed. Life was so odd, she thought. How could one silly inanimate stuffed animal affect so many lives in such a positive way? It was downright weird. Hilton took one last look at Amelia Bearhart as she was carried from the room and wondered how many more lives the tiny fuzzball would change. Well, at least she wasn’t like those evil little Gremlins in that horror movie Hilton 122

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had seen as a child. Amelia was soft and cuddly and probably supplied hours of anxiety-free sleep.

“So I thought I’d pick up some candy for the Halloween party tonight,” Anne said. “Want to come with? This is kind of new to me.”

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