Avoiding Commitment (36 page)

She pushed her bangs off her forehead as she
entered into the overly air conditioned shopping centre. She felt
out of place in her loose fitting purple tank and khaki shorts
compared to all the fake princesses clicking along the marble in
their four inch Manolos and swishing their tiny butts in
professional garb.

When Lexi had received the message from
Bekah, she had just been about to go out on a morning run. She
hadn’t had much time to do anything but change shorts and throw her
hair into a slicked back ponytail. Bekah probably wasn’t going to
approve of her choice, but there wasn’t anything she could do about
it. She hadn’t let Chyna persuade her into a five hundred dollar
t-shirt, and that was her best friend. No way was she going to let
this be any different. Lexi dealt with high end, wealthy people
every day of her life. She was almost certain that there was
nothing Bekah could send her way that would throw her off
track.

Bekah’s nose turned up ever so slightly as
Lexi approached the entrance to Jimmy Choo. She placed a fantastic
pair of brown leather boots back on the stand and sauntered up to
the tiny girl. Bekah had never been one to put much effort into her
appearance. She had always been the beautiful Southern Belle with
long flowing blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and a clear complexion.
She always stood out from the crowd and the wealth her parents
bestowed her only helped with her wonderful wardrobe.

Under differing circumstances, she could see
why Jack had thought she would get along with Lexi. She had the
same no theatrics beauty, and carried herself as if she owned the
world. She looked just as beautiful, if not more so, than any of
the other women who spent millions every year trying to achieve the
flawlessness that came to these two women naturally.

This girl obviously had charm.

“Lexi, how wonderful to see you,” Bekah
trilled giving her a quick hug.

Lexi was momentarily caught off guard by
Bekah’s continued hospitality. This girl really was an enigma. One
moment she was a snotty nosed bitch out for her life, and the next
she was all happy-go-lucky girl next door. What was scarier was
that Lexi didn’t know how to predict her actions. Was it something
that Jack had said that forced this woman to play nice with her
today? Did Jack even know that they were out together again? Lexi
hadn’t bothered to call him. She knew she would have to speak with
him eventually. She just didn’t know how much of him she could
handle yet. He acted as if everything was fine and there was
nothing between them, but then there were moments…shining moments
where he was
her
Jack all over again. And she knew in those
moments, she was lost. He would somehow work his magic and make her
remember what it was like to be with him. That was when she needed
to be on guard the most. She had to get closure. Wasn’t that what
all this was about?

Her thoughts seemed to press in at her
temples, and she forced a smile onto her face as the pain continued
to crush in on her. She didn’t want to think about that right now.
She had been able to forget for the briefest of moments about Jack
while she had been with Ramsey. That had been her break. Now, she
needed to get back to reality and fight out this battle so she
could move on with her life.

“Good to see you too,” she said pulling away
from the embrace. “What are we up to?”

“You’ll never believe it,” Bekah began
ushering her away from Jimmy Choo. A slight glint in her eye
remained as she passed the high heeled boots she had been
holding.

“What?” Lexi asked feigning interest.

“I had this gorgeous one-of-a-kind handmade
Vera shipped to me last week for Jack’s big day. Well, my
seamstress got a hold of it to do some last minute repairs and
destroyed it.” The look on Bekah’s face was pure devastation. “I’ve
never fired anyone so fast, and she’s been working for my family
for years. You can’t go and ruin a brand new dress. I’ve no idea
what she was thinking, but there was no way to salvage it and still
have the desired effect.”

“So, you need a new dress.”

“As do you,” Bekah told her angling her body
to direct them into Barney’s.

“Oh, no I don’t think so. I can’t
afford…”

“Money isn’t an option,” Bekah said the
twinkle in her eye replaced by something else…a bit more
mischievous.

“I’d never be able to repay you. I simply
cannot accept anything, but I’d be happy to help you find
something,” Lexi said not wanting to ever be in debt to this woman
or anyone else other than the Federal government for her student
loans.

“I’ll take answers to my questions as
payment. How does that sound?” Bekah asked.

“I don’t think so,” she said uncertainly.

“Let’s just talk and if we find something for
you, then that was payment, and if not, then you’re just fine. Is
that better?”

Lexi chewed on her bottom lip not wanting to
give in to her. She tucked a lock behind her right ear and fidgeted
outside of the store. “Fine, but I doubt I’ll find anything.”

“Great!” Bekah exclaimed linking her arm
through Lexi’s and pulling her into the store.

They were immediately greeted by a tall,
leggy associate with maroon hair and heavy makeup. She couldn’t
have been over thirty years old, but somehow with all the caked on
layers she appeared older. “Miss Bridges, what a great surprise to
see you in the store today,” the woman said standing demurely
before the perfume counter.

“Thank you, Katherine. My friend and I need
something spectacular for Jack’s big event tomorrow. Can you try to
keep us away from the racks?” she asked smiling sweetly.

“Oh, I think I know exactly what you mean,”
she said nodding and rushing towards the women’s department. Lexi
could tell she was excited that they had come in that day since she
was pretty sure everyone in this store worked on commission.
Selling them two dresses for an obscene amount of money, not to
mention anything else Bekah set her heart’s desire on, could keep
her afloat for several months.

As Katherine bustled around the back of the
store, Lexi and Bekah got comfortable in the fitting area. Lexi
didn’t really know where to go next. Bekah had tried to make the
conversation light and civil last time, and that hadn’t worked.
They both kept getting jealous and unintentionally saying things
that made the other belligerent.

Lexi hoped that if she answered the questions
truthfully, Bekah could then make up her own mind about Jack’s past
discretions. Lexi didn’t necessarily feel the need to lead Bekah
one way or another about Jack. His actions should speak for
themselves. If Bekah still felt that Jack was worth her time after
the conversation, then that was her decision.

“So…uh…where to begin?” Lexi asked fiddling
with her thumbs.

“Can you calm down please?” Bekah asked
sipping on some hot tea that appeared before them by another
associate. Lexi smiled trying to sweep away her worries. She really
did need to calm down.

“Yeah, alright.” She didn’t sound all that
convincing though.

“So, can I start it off then?” Bekah asked
setting her tea down on a saucer and leaning back into the green
cushion. Before waiting for an answer, she began, “Do you love
him?”

Lexi just stared at Bekah. That question
hadn’t been asked in the past tense. She gulped hard and fully
contemplated her answer. On one side, yes of course she loved him.
She loved him so much it hurt to breathe. It hurt to think. It hurt
to get up every morning without him. But on the other hand, she
didn’t know if what they had, had ever truly been love. When he
said that he loved her, did he mean it? How could she actually
know, when they had never been afforded the opportunity to fully
appreciate what they had?

“I believe a part of me has always and will
always love Jack. Yes,” she finally stated in a strangled whisper.
She hated so much admitting that, especially to his beautiful,
perfect girlfriend. Yes, she was in love with Jack. No matter that
they hadn’t been together. No matter that he had left her without a
backwards glance, without a single act of desperation on his part.
She did love him. But something about the feeling had changed and
evolved over time. It wasn’t really the same question or the same
answer Lexi could give had she been asked the same thing two years
ago.

“I’m glad that’s out of the way,” Bekah said
blowing out the breath she had been holding. “I was afraid we
wouldn’t have anything in common.”

What a strange thing for her to say.

“Now that that’s all out in the open, can we
just try and talk about your relationship with Jack. I just want
the facts. I want to know why ya’ll didn’t work out if you actually
do love him, and I truly want to find out if I’m actually what he’s
looking for.” Her eyes had enlarged at the last statement and Lexi
could tell inadequacy wasn’t something she was used to dealing
with.

“Can I ask you something?” Lexi questioned
Bekah.

“Sure, I guess it’s only fair.”

“Why would you want to talk to me? I mean,
why would you want to talk to any of us? Danielle and Kate and I
have all had intimate relationships with Jack. Relationships with
him that you will never really understand, because every
relationship is in some way different than what you are
experiencing. And while you could probably pick up on a pattern of
some sort, and coming from an insider’s perspective, I really don’t
think there is one. I’ve known Jack for a long time, and he’s
pretty much been the same guy since I’ve known him. He’s had his
ups and downs like everyone, but he’s pretty much the same. I
…well, I don’t know why you would want to open up that can of
worms,” Lexi said spewing out everything in rapid succession.

“I disagree,” Bekah said folding her hands
one over another, “I think there is a pattern.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’m not certain yet, but there’s really only
ever been one constant throughout his relationships. I didn’t see
it when I first started asking questions or even when I talked to
Jack about it.”

“But you see it now?”

“Well, I think
you
are the
pattern.”

“
Me?
” she asked incredulously.

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I feel
that Jack has always had rather strong affections for you. I
noticed it when ya’ll look at each other, when he spoke to you,
when you kissed my brother,” she said. “But I also could tell when
I talked to ya’ll separately. He would get this look on his face.
You would get very defensive. It was little things that were out of
the ordinary for him,” she explained. “Now, if something is still
going on, then I’d like to know about it. If not, then honestly I
want ya’ll to tell me that it’s over so that he can move on.”

Closure. It always came back to closure. If
she was the missing link that explained why Jack couldn’t seem to
commit to anyone, then how could they ever come to closure?

Before Lexi had a chance to respond,
Katherine returned from the back room with two full racks of
clothes specifically catered to each individual. They wasted away
the afternoon fluttering from one designer to another and
discussing the tragic outcome of Lexi’s relationship with Jack. She
hadn’t been able to reveal all of the details as she originally had
anticipated, but Lexi was pretty certain that Bekah had gotten
enough information out of her that it would sate her desire for the
time being. What she did with the information was an entirely
different story. Lexi hadn’t gotten a single clue as to whether or
not what she was providing Bekah with was helping or hurting
Bekah’s understanding of Jack.

Inevitably, she did end up leaving the mall
with a single dress from Barney’s. Katherine had been exceedingly
accurate with Lexi’s size, and without even realizing it, Lexi had
found the perfect dress. And as luck turned out, it was also the
most expensive dress she had ever had the luxury of trying on her
tiny frame. She had gulped at the infinite number of zeros attached
to the piece of paper and wondered faintly why God hated her.
However, true to her word, Bekah had retrieved a black credit card
from her designer bag and handed it to Katherine, paying in full
for everything surrounding them. Apparently, she had answered
enough questions correctly to deliver payment for her time.

As she made her way towards the entrance,
where Bekah informed her that the same town car was awaiting her,
she felt strangely at ease. One of reasons she had come to Atlanta
again had been successfully fulfilled. No longer would she have to
agonize about Bekah, and her potentially deviant plots to get her
to confess. Lexi hadn’t told her everything, but she had disclosed
enough to keep her appetite hampered.

Lexi was almost to the exit, when Bekah
stopped her. “Let’s just have a peek,” she exclaimed, her eyes
shifting to her right.

Lexi’s stomach dropped at the store front
before her. Tiffany’s. Bekah had directed her straight to the
entrance of Tiffany’s. Now, suffice it to say that jewelry stores
made Lexi nervous. She had never been able to put her finger on it,
but something about the inside of them made her skin crawl. Her
body would break out into a cold sweat, and she couldn’t help but
chew on her bottom lip. She couldn’t go in there.

“I really can’t…” she stammered.

“Oh, come on. We don’t have to get anything.
Just a quick look,” Bekah said, her smile bright and vibrant at the
prospect. She grabbed a hold of Lexi’s elbow and hauled her through
the well lit storefront. Bekah’s eyes barely focused on the
stunning collections before her. She ignored the eager looks from
the sales associates as she dragged Lexi to the counter. Lexi felt
as if she had hit the top of a rollercoaster ride, and her stomach
was on auto-pilot down the metallic runway.