Avoiding Commitment (35 page)

“Lexi, it’s really simple. You said you
wanted to be with me, and you do want to be with me. I can see
that. I’m just asking you to do one simple thing. Tell Kate what
happened.”

What he wasn’t saying was that he was
actually asking her to do two things. She would have to give up
Jack and not just his friendship and the relationship that they had
grown into. She would have to give him up forever. No contact with
him at all. Telling Kate would ensure success in that aspect. Could
she do it? Could she actually go without Jack?

“Fine. I’ll tell her.”

Lexi pulled out her cell phone and found the
number that she had never used waiting for her. She clicked send
without thinking about it. If she thought about it, she would never
actually go through with what she was about to do.

“Hello?” Lexi heard her answer.

“Kate. Hey, this is Lexi.”

“Lexi! Oh my God, I haven’t heard from you in
so long. What have you been up to?”

“Um…yeah, not that much. Can we meet
somewhere to talk?”

Kate was silent on the other line for a
minute, and then she answered, “Sure. Jack and I were going to hang
out tonight because he was busy last night. But he won’t be here
for another hour or so. Where did you want to meet?”

Lexi tried not to show her guilt at her
words. Jack had been busy last night because of her. He had told
Kate he couldn’t hang out, because he was with Lexi. “Um…wherever
you want. I can come over if you want.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

After getting directions, Lexi left Clark at
the coffee shop and made her way over to Kate’s house. She had
never been to her place, and she was dreading making this her first
visit. The house was situated in a small subdivision outside of
downtown. Each house was a bright color ranging from yellow to pink
to baby blue. Most were single stories, but the one Kate resided in
looked to be a two-story townhouse with a small yard and white
picket fence. The area was trying to bring the suburbs to the city,
and Lexi had always found them adorable. Well, until now.

Kate let her inside on the first knock and
ushered her into the living room. Lexi had a faint idea based on
Kate’s appearance that Kate’s family was relatively wealthy. As she
looked around the townhouse, she realized this was definitely the
case. An olive green couch sat on one side and two brown chairs
occupied the other side. The television that was mounted on the
wall fit the size of the room to perfection. Picture frames hung
tastefully on the walls and the oak side tables were filled with
pictures of her friends. The most common face Lexi noticed other
than Kate’s was Jack. He was all over her house. Scattered in
nearly every picture frame. A brown jacket she recognized as his
hung on a hook at the front entrance. A Wall Street Journal, Jack’s
favorite newspaper, sat on the coffee table.

Lexi gulped and looked up into Kate’s
enormous blue eyes. “Have a seat, sweetie. What did you want to
talk to me about?” Kate asked gesturing to the seat next to her on
the sofa.

Taking a precautionary seat in the adjacent
chair, Lexi shoved her hair behind her ears several times. She had
no idea where to begin. She opened and closed her mouth several
times before looking down at her fingers resting in her lap. She
glanced back up at the oblivious girl, her heart going out to her
for what she was about to do.

“Have you noticed anything different about
Jack lately?” Lexi began.

“Different? Different how?”

“Uh…just anything.”

Kate chewed on her bottom lip gloss covered
lip seriously contemplating the question. “No, I don’t believe I
have.”

This was going to be harder than she thought.
“You haven’t noticed that he’s been missing a lot more than
usual?”

“Well…I guess he has been missing, but not
really more than usual. We’ve always had an understanding that we
don’t have to be together all the time for our relationship to
work. He can have time away from me if he wants, and I have the
same privilege. It’s just how we work. Not many people would be
okay with that, but we are. Why?”

“Okay, I don’t really know how to say this so
I’m just going to dive right in. Jack and I slept together.”

The silence that followed was unlike anything
Lexi had ever sat through. She wasn’t sure if Kate was going to
lunge at her or break down in tears. She looked shell shocked for
sure. That had to have been the last thing she had been expecting.
The tension could have been cut with a spoon. Lexi wasn’t sure if
she should run now. Her heart was hammering in her chest with the
anticipation of Kate’s response.

“Why would you tell me something like that?”
Kate finally asked barely above a whisper.

“I had to let you know and Jack wasn’t going
to tell you.”

“Why would you think I’d want to know
something like that?”

“I just…thought you’d want the truth.”

“I didn’t,” she said shaking her head
forcefully from side to side. “I didn’t want to know that.”

Lexi just stared at her. She didn’t want to
know. She had crushed her for no reason. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Kate asked her eyes glaring at her.
“For what? Fucking my boyfriend or for telling me that you fucked
my boyfriend.”

“Uh…”

“Just…just don’t answer that. I don’t want to
know. I don’t want to hear any of it. I just want to forget you.
Forget you ever existed. Please leave my house.”

“Kate.”

“No, I don’t need any other information from
you. Thank you. Get the fuck out of my house,” she said standing
and pointing towards the door.

Lexi stood in complete shock at Kate’s
reaction. “Are you going to tell Jack that I told you?”

“No. I’m not telling him anything. Now
leave.”

“Why are you so calm about all this?” Lexi
couldn’t help asking.

That question seemed to change everything
about Kate. Lexi had never seen the girl anything but way too
perky, but she looked damn well furious. “You think I didn’t know
that he fucked you? God, I am not stupid, you fucking whore.” It
was Lexi’s turn to look shell shocked. Kate had known all along,
and she hadn’t said anything. “I knew the first day that it
happened.”

“You did?” Lexi couldn’t believe it. No one
else had been out on the pier that day. No one else had known they
were there. Kate certainly hadn’t even been awake that night. “How
did you find out?”

“I was there. I walked into his house,
because I have a key that he gave me. He had his bedroom door open,
and there you two were on his bed.” Lexi’s mouth popped open. “I
just loved Jack enough to see past that one incident.”

“That wasn’t the first time,” Lexi admitted
to Kate the information she had withheld from Clark.

“What?”

“That was about a month ago, right?”

“That’s what you were talking about, isn’t
it? You were feeling guilty, and you had to let me know about it.
Well, fuck you, I already knew that it happened. I knew and could
get over the fact that he was unfaithful that one time.”

“No. You have it all wrong. The first time
was at the beach house.”

Kate turned and stared at her. “That was in
May.”

Lexi nodded watching the news dawn on Kate.
“That’s what I came here to tell you.”

“No.” Kate murmured falling back down onto
the couch. “Ya’ll have been sleeping together since May? Why is he
with me then?” Lexi shrugged. Lexi, of all people, did not have an
answer for that. “If you’ve been sleeping together since then, why
are you just telling me now? Why are you telling me at all?”

“Clark found out, and Jack wasn’t going to
tell you. I thought it was right to let you know.”

“I never thought he would do this.”

Lexi rolled her eyes and then felt bad for
doing it. Of course, he would do this. Then again, he probably
didn’t reveal this side of himself to too many people. Lexi just
happened to be on the wrong end of this scenario twice already.

“I mean, I’m a virgin.”

“What?” Lexi squeaked. She steadied herself
on the molding to the front entrance. “You’re a what?”

“I just thought that if it was one time, he
would get it out of his system since we don’t sleep together. We do
everything else, but we don’t have sex. I didn’t think it was that
big of deal, but this…this is different.”

Lexi couldn’t do anything more than stare at
her. She’s a virgin. Jack had never mentioned that. Not once. The
look of despair that passed over Kate seeped into Lexi. How had she
done this? It was a question she couldn’t help repeating to
herself. She had slept with Jack and Kate hadn’t. Jack and Kate had
been together for years and never slept together. Lexi couldn’t
process that information. Jack had no self-restraint. He was
completely incapable of it around her. Just like she had no control
around him. How was he able to go years without sleeping with
Kate?

“Get out,” Kate said. “I can’t stand looking
at you. You took something that wasn’t yours, and you don’t even
seem remorseful. If I ever set eyes on you again, it will be too
soon.”

With that Lexi pulled the front door open and
rushed out of the house to her car. She was so lost in what had
happened that she hadn’t even noticed the very familiar Mazda 3
pulling into the driveway. She tried to dart into her car before he
would notice her, but she wasn’t quick enough. Jack hopped out of
his car and sprinted to her side.

“What are you doing here?” he asked
venomously.

“She is a virgin,” was the only thing Lexi
could get out at the sight of him.

“Oh God,” he said running his hands through
his hair. “What did you do?”

“She is a virgin.”

“Lexi,” he yelled grabbing her by the
shoulders. “What did you do?”

Tears began to form in her eyes again as she
looked up at the handsome face. “Why?”

“I came here to tell her.”

“Why?”

“So we could be together.”

“You didn’t want to be with me,” she said
feeling her weight sinking in his grasp.

“Lex, I’ve wanted to tell you for so
long…that I love you.”

Lexi’s head snapped up. “You what?”

“You’ve known for a long time. You say it to
me all the time with your eyes. I came here to straighten things
out with Kate. To make things right for us.”

“Did you say you love me?”

“Lex, you know I do.”

“No, no I don’t,” she said pulling herself
away from him and slamming into her car door.

“You’re just lying to me.”

“I’ll never lie to you again. I’ve told you
that so many times. Just let me straighten things out so we can
work this out.”

“I don’t want to work it out,” she said
numbly staring at him. She was still shell shocked and saying the
first thing that came to her mind. How could he say those things to
her? After everything he said, how did he expect her to react? Did
he think she was going to roll over for him? She had made a
decision in that coffee shop with Clark and she was going to stick
by it. He couldn’t just come in here with his sweet talk and think
everything would just go back to normal. He wanted her now, maybe,
but that wasn’t good enough. He had to want her all the time. He
had to need her. He had to put her first. If he loved her, that’s
what he would have done from the beginning. But Jack had never put
anyone first in his life. “I want to be with Clark. He wants to
take me back.”

The look on Jack’s face hurt more than Lexi
ever thought would be possible. “Fine. Go be miserable with your
little lap dog. Forget what I said. Just forget it,” he said
turning away from her, and pushing aside the lone tear that had
managed to seep out of his eye. “Forget it all.”

But she would never forget.

CHAPTER 15

PRESENT

The next morning a town car pulled up in
front of Ramsey’s place and waited on Lexi with breakfast and
coffee. It wasn’t the type of hospitality Lexi had been expecting
to receive from Bekah. When they had last parted, it hadn’t exactly
been on good terms. So far, everything had officially gone
completely opposite of how she had planned. All she had wanted to
do was tell Bekah her story and leave Jack behind. By now she was
supposed to be sitting on the back porch of her parents’ house
sipping on a margarita and enjoying the remaining week at home.
Instead, she found herself being whisked off to some boutique to go
shopping for Jack’s birthday party.

She sighed and took a long sip of the black
coffee hoping the caffeine buzz would kick her brain back to its
proper mode of functioning. If she could get out of this situation
sooner rather than later that would be better for her rattled
nerves. The only problem was that she wasn’t sure what to tell
Bekah.

Things with Jack had never been simple enough
to put a label on.

For some reason, everything had to be
complicated when it came to Jack. If they had just dated and got
bored with each other like normal couples, then maybe she could
just go to Bekah and tell her a very simple story. But under the
circumstances, Lexi thought it did their relationship a disservice
to reduce it to such simplicity.

How she felt about Jack crossed lines that
she wasn’t sure many other people ever experienced. The way he
looked at her, touched her, and seemed to understand her made the
whole scenario much more difficult to explain.

And it’s not like she could tell Bekah the
entire story. No one had ever heard the entire story. She was all
but certain that Jack hadn’t confessed anything. No way was he
going to tell anyone else about New York, and Lexi never had the
heart to reveal all the details to anyone else.

So that left her back at square one. What
should she tell Bekah?

Lexi had expected to pull up in front of some
swank boutique. To her surprise Phipp’s Plaza appeared before her
eyes. The mall parking lot was already swarming with expensive cars
bustling to feed their owner’s shopping desires. Lexi hadn’t been
inside since high school and the only reason she hadn’t returned
was because she hadn’t been able to spend a dime in the place. It
wasn’t a Manhattan boutique, but it wasn’t like Lexi could afford
this either.