Avoiding Commitment (3 page)

Lexi smiled at her. Chyna looked like she had
never gotten less than seven hours of sleep in her life. “Oh wow,
I’m sorry,” she said in mock repentance. “You look like an ugly old
hag this morning. Perhaps you should sleep for another three
hours.”

“You’re right,” she nodded. “I’ve only been
sleeping for four hours.”

Lexi sighed dramatically. “The world will
end.”

Chyna poked Lexi’s shoulder playfully. “Shut
up, you.”

“Bernard mentioned there was someone with
you?” Lexi asked cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Oh, phew on him. What do I pay him for
anyway? I threw that boy out hours ago,” she said smiling
mischievously. “Now, what in the world are you doing here so early?
Our hair appointment isn’t for a few more hours.” Lexi brushed the
flyaways behind her ear anxiously, a clear indicator of her
anxiety. “Oh God, it’s a boy,” Chyna squealed in excitement. “Tell
me everything!”

Chyna always got excited when Lexi mentioned
a new guy. Mostly, Lexi figured because it happened so
infrequently. Pretty much since she had moved to the city, she had
been too preoccupied with school, and relationships had been placed
on the backburner. Every now and then, she would go out on dates
with guys from class or someone Chyna recommended, but, it never
worked out. When it came to her luck with men, Lexi preferred just
to avoid the situation entirely.

“Well, it’s kind of a strange story,” she
began, realizing she had exactly mirrored Jack’s words. Chyna
nodded enthusiastically, bouncing on her toes in anticipation. “So,
you remember Jack?” she asked tentatively, forcing herself not to
wince when she said his name.

Chyna’s faced clouded over and a crease
formed between her eyebrows. “Oh no, not him,” she said pleadingly.
“Please tell me that this has nothing to do with him.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Lexi asked,
strangely enough, finding herself getting defensive.

“Alexa, Alexa,” she scolded, “do you not
remember
yourself after that boy left?”

Lexi did remember. She could still feel it
every time she thought about him. When she stumbled across a
picture of them together or passed a particularly cozy looking
coffee shop, she remembered it all like it was yesterday. Only in
the past six months had a numbness started to take over that
feeling. Sometimes it still hit her fresh nearly two years later.
He was capable of eliciting such emotional and physiological
responses to this day, even though they had never officially been
together. She was amazed she had turned him down over the phone
after no contact for that long. If he had called for
anything
else, she was certain she would have crumbled.

“Yeah, I remember,” Lexi said softly.

“Well, then, why would you bring him up?”
Chyna demanded.

“He called me,” she said brushing her hair
back several more times before meeting Chyna’s disapproving
eyes.

“And?” Chyna asked with a look of firm
protectiveness taking over her features.

Lexi sighed, and then quickly gave Chyna the
run down on the mess Jack had gotten himself into, and what he had
requested of her. She forced all the words out in quick procession,
not allowing Chyna to get in one word edge wise. When she finished,
she breathed out heavily and looked up to find Chyna staring at her
curiously. Somewhere throughout her story, Chyna’s features had
changed, softened. Lexi wasn’t quite sure what it meant. “So yeah,
that was my morning. Sounds great, doesn’t it?”

“You turned him down?” she asked clearly
surprised. After everything she had been through with Jack, her
feelings for him were unrivaled.

“Yeah, I did. Aren’t you proud?”

“I think you should do it,” she stated
simply.

“What?” Lexi asked bursting from her
comfortable lying position on the bed. “This morning is just nuts.
Jack calls, and then you, of all people, tell me that I should go
visit him and meet his fiancé?”

“Fiancé-to-be,” Chyna quipped letting a
naughty smirk creep onto her face.

“Whatever! Just explain this to me. Why
should I go see him? Nothing good ever comes out of me being around
him. I know this and you know this. The whole world should know
this. Give me one good reason I should go see him.” Chyna couldn’t
be serious! After all, Lexi had been so proud of herself for
turning him down for
once
in her life.

“Closure.”

“I don’t need closure,” Lexi stated
stubbornly.

“Come on. Honestly, Alexa. I’m not sure you
have ever gotten over this guy. I’ve tried to get you into a
relationship, and you’ve dated a few of the people I’ve thrown your
way, but it was never anything substantial. You need to move on,
but how can you do that when you’re still hung up on a guy you
haven’t heard from in two years? Oh wait, you can’t!” she exclaimed
cocking her head to the side to really examine Lexi. “Now you’ve
been through some rough times, and honestly you’ve been a bit of a
depressive. I get it. I’ve been there too, and I understand. Maybe
not with a guy, but my parents and I have all those issues. You
need to go to Atlanta, meet this girl, tell her exactly how much of
a scumbag Jack truly is, and then get the hell out of there!”

Lexi hesitated and then nodded seeing her
logic. “Maybe you’re right.”

“No, I know I’m right,” Chyna said hopping
off the bed and moseying into her walk-in closet as if that ended
the discussion.

Lexi stayed seated considering Chyna’s
argument. The girl had a point. After everything she had gone
through with Jack, maybe this was exactly what she needed, even if
it wasn’t necessarily what she wanted. Still undecided, Lexi joined
Chyna in her closet. As Chyna chose something to wear, Lexi
remained lost in her thoughts. She knew that Chyna’s statements
made sense, but how could she ever face Jack? Once Lexi had
realized who was on the line, she had nearly hyperventilated. How
would she react when she saw him in person? She really didn’t know,
but she didn’t think she could turn down the opportunity to see him
either. “Ok, I’ll do it.”

“I knew you had it in you,” Chyna said
sliding on a pair of brown strappy sandals and exiting the closet.
“Now go make that phone call while I fix my hair and makeup.”

Lexi gulped as Chyna walked into her
bathroom, likely not to surface for a while. She had agreed to do
it; now she just had to calm herself down enough to make the call.
Her palms felt slick with sweat as she sat down at the mahogany
writing desk and pulled her phone out of her black handbag. She
hesitantly flipped it open and scrolled through the address book.
Lexi was thankful, at least, that she had added his number to her
phone this morning instead of erasing it.

She worked up the courage to press the
button, then immediately hung up. Her hands were shaking so
furiously, she nearly dropped the phone. Taking a few breaths to
try to calm down, she punched the send button again. Listening as
the phone rang twice nearly unnerved her, but then the line clicked
over.

“Lex,” Jack said surprised. “I didn’t expect
to hear from you.”

“You implied,” she began her voice cracking
slightly with the effort of staying calm, “that I could call
you.”

“Sure. I said you could call me. I just never
thought you actually would.”

“Yeah, I’m full of surprises,” she said
trying to play off her apprehension.

“Always were,” he said quietly.

Lexi sighed before venturing forward. “My
internship ends in two weeks. I will probably be coming to Atlanta
to see my parents after that. So, I guess, what I’m trying to say
is…that I’ll do it. I’ll come see you,” she paused before allowing
the last part of her sentence to roll off her tongue, “and meet
your girlfriend.”

CHAPTER 2

SEPTEMBER SIX YEARS EARLIER

When Lexi first arrived at her freshman dorm,
her resident assistant called a hall meeting for all the freshman
students. At the meeting her resident assistant distributed a
directory listing local restaurants, clubs, bars, and an array of
study nooks for the incoming freshman. Nearly every girl tossed the
packet into the garbage as soon as they left the meeting, but Lexi
held onto it hoping it would come to good use in locating a perfect
locale to study. She investigated a handful of these locations, but
found them not to her tastes.

When she finally stumbled upon one particular
coffee shop near the end of the list, she instantly fell in love.
The coffee shop itself was nothing spectacular. To be honest, it
was on the small side, especially for a college town. But the rich
aroma of freshly ground coffee beans that enveloped her senses when
she set foot in the dimly lit shop sold her. It was perfect! Twenty
unmatched tables were tightly pressed together with barely enough
room to squeeze between. Green filtered lamps of various shapes and
sizes rested atop each table casting a pleasant emerald glow upon
the customers. Counter space was nearly impossible to acquire.

As the winter months gradually approached, a
roaring fire crackled in a corner fireplace. Cushioned green lounge
chairs and dilapidated couches were scattered haphazardly against
the walls and surrounding the fireplace. On any given day, the
tables were occupied by students and professors alike discussing
anything from nuclear physics to Aristotelian philosophy to
Freudian psychology.

After Lexi spent a few late nights in this
cozy nook, she laid claim to one of the tables facing the counter.
She had chosen that particular table specifically for the instances
when
he
was working. At first, she hadn’t even really
noticed him. But the more time she spent there, the more often she
crossed paths with him. And she couldn’t stop coming by hoping to
catch a glimpse of him. Her friends, who preferred to study at the
university learning center, kept trying to rouse her from the
coffee shop. None of them could understand why she would want to
work in such a loud, crowded, poorly lit space with a feeble
internet connection. When they asked her why she refused to leave,
she gave them the excuse of enjoying the atmosphere, but they
finally weaseled it out of her.

Him.

The next day after her secret was revealed,
Lexi found herself sitting at her usual table with her friend,
Olivia, for company. “Well, what do you think?” Lexi asked as she
flipped through her introductory philosophy class notes, skimming
through the most recent lecture on Empiricists.

“You’re right. He is pretty hot,” Olivia
confirmed, running her fingers through her bleached blonde pixie
cut, letting the tiny strands of hair fall effortlessly back into
place.

“I meant about Locke.”

“He’s dead right?” Olivia asked
uninterested.

Lexi rolled her eyes. “No, I mean...what’s
his idea about knowledge?” she asked trying hard not to glance up
at him while Olivia blatantly ogled the eye candy.

“Honestly, I don’t care. I hate this stuff. I
might just drop the class altogether. I don’t get it,” Olivia said
shrugging her shoulders at her own indecipherable notes. She
glanced back up at the guy working the counter. “Him, I can
fully
understand. You should give it a shot.”

Lexi brushed her off, feeling the weight of
her gaze uncomfortably. “No, what I need to shoot for is an A on
this test.”

Olivia rolled her eyes dramatically.
“Whatever, you know you’re going to get an A, but don’t you want to
at least meet him? Know his name?”

It was Lexi’s turn to shrug. “Yeah, I guess,”
she conceded.

“Have you ever even had a boyfriend?” Olivia
asked giggling a little at that inexplicable possibility.

“Of course I’ve had a boyfriend,” Lexi
retorted defensively. “I’m just not looking for one now.”

“I didn’t say you wanted or even needed a
relationship. We’re freshman. We’re just supposed to have fun and
make mistakes anyway. So you should at least meet him and hang out
with him,” she uttered persuasively. Lexi shrugged noncommittally
returning to her notes.

After a pause, Olivia changed topics, “So,
anyway, are you coming to Nick and Neal’s show tonight at The
Theatre?”

“Yeah, I should be there,” Lexi
confirmed.

“Good, I’ve been helping them plan this for a
month. I need as many people there as possible.” Lexi just nodded
since she had heard this same rant nearly every day since Olivia
had decided to become their publicist. “I’m going to get myself a
drink from sexy Coffee Guy,” she added a wink just for good
measure, “and then I’m going to head back to the dorm to get ready
for tonight. You comin’ with, doll?”

“Nah, I’m going to finish here,” she said
gesturing to her notebooks sprawled on the table. “But I’ll meet
you later,” Lexi said scribbling a quick note into her study guide.
She watched Olivia slink over to the counter to get her coffee.
Lexi quickly averted her eyes to avoid watching her shamelessly
flirt with the guy she was interested in. She figured it didn’t
really matter that much anyway. This guy was no one to her. He was
just a pretty face in a sea of pretty faces in the crowd or at
least that’s what she tried to convince herself.

*****

A few hours later, Lexi, Olivia, and fifteen
other people they had managed to drag out of the dorms were
casually standing in front of the stage at The Theatre waiting for
Nick and Neal to begin their set. The Theatre was a large open
space with couches positioned around the perimeter and for smaller
shows, like tonight, on the main floor.

As the time passed, the room gradually filled
with regulars and other locals. Considering this was Nick and
Neal’s first real performance, the crowd was relatively large. A
unanimous bounce began as the throng of people fell into rhythm
with the flow of the music that Nick was spinning, Neal’s original
lyrics filling the room. Lexi sang along with some of the words she
remembered from hanging out with them.