Avoiding Commitment (23 page)

She stopped thinking as the next song came
on, and focused on dancing in Ramsey’s muscular arms. The music and
dancing took her back to hanging out with Chyna in New York when
she was just able to be young and carefree, dancing all nights in
clubs, and drinking an exorbitant amount of alcohol. No matter how
often she drank, she was still the cheapest date of anyone she had
ever met. Her tolerance never wavered. She was sloshed after the
second drink, and would likely be throwing up if she exceeded
five.

As she let her body roll against Ramsey, she
focused in on a couple in front of her seductively dancing against
the wall. Lexi’s heart rate picked up as she watched. Bekah pushed
Jack back against the wall and began to kiss him feverishly. Lexi
couldn’t pull her eyes away. She hadn’t even thought of Jack since
she had gotten out on the floor with Ramsey. It had been a comfort
to forget him, but now here he was…on display. Bekah gripped his
hips and slid alluringly down his front. She took no care of her
tiny skirt as she perched with her head in front of his crotch.
Lexi felt as if she were intruding on a very private moment. Their
intimacy was so seductively erotic that had they been alone Bekah
could have easily been going down on him. She watched as Bekah
forced herself up and back against him. He moved easily with her as
if this were a common motion…just a transfer of sexual emotion from
the bedroom to the dance floor.

Lexi hated to admit it, but they looked good
together. It sickened her watching them move together so
perfectly…to fit together so perfectly. She could feel
alcohol-induced tears welling in her eyes. She turned around so
fast she knocked into Ramsey, and nearly fell back from impact. He
snatched her before she could fall into another person, and looked
down upon her mortified face. The tears were threatening to seep
out, and that was the last thing she wanted.

He seemed to comprehend that as he bent down
to speak into her ear. “Do you want to get some fresh air? I’m kind
of suffocating,” he admitted, though she knew it was more for her
sake.

The crowd parted as he passed through, and he
staved off his roommates. Opening the back door, he ushered her out
into the humid August air where they found themselves blessedly
alone. She checked her cheeks and found them dry, which was her
sole comfort from the entire episode.

“Are you okay?” he asked purposefully giving
her enough room to breathe.

Lexi remained silent but nodded. After a few
minutes of strained silence, she felt more composed, and a little
extra tipsy from the emotional whirlwind she had just undergone.
She breathed out heavily, and leaned her elbows back against the
wooden banister. Ramsey walked forward and stood in front of her.
She couldn’t help but notice how attractive he looked in the moon
light. She smiled at him endearingly.

“It’s good to see that you look better.” She
shrugged again. The earlier incident, though not out of her mind,
was at least momentarily forgotten.

“Thanks. I think I dress up well too,” she
said biting her lip and staring at him flirtatiously.

“I think both clothing options work for you,”
he said taking another step closer to her.

“Thank you very much. I have to say…” She
eyed him up and down. “Both options work for you too.” She
hiccupped and leaned forward against him as she giggled. “Though,
these muscles are much better in your polo.” She placed her hand on
his bicep and squeezed.

He smiled his perfect smile, and reached out
to help support her. “I’m glad you like them. I spend a decent
amount of time in the gym to keep them.”

“I didn’t say I liked them,” she said
blushing.

“Fine. I’m glad they look better in my polo,”
he corrected boldly circling her waist. She let him. It was a nice
feeling. He wasn’t exactly holding her, but having his big strong
arms this close was nice indeed. “You really don’t remember me
then?”

“Nope!”

“You know I wasn’t being completely honest
with you,” Ramsey said sliding her back another step and leaning
her against the balustrade.

“It doesn’t matter,” she slurred staring at
his lips. By now, she wasn’t all too sure what he was talking
about. She couldn’t remember if it was important.

“No, I guess it doesn’t, but I could still
tell you.”

Her head felt heavy and it lolled backwards
twice before she looked back up at him. God, his lips looked damn
near edible from this close up. They were a soft pink color and
perfectly proportioned. He licked his lips as she watched, and
couldn’t help but let loose a soft breath as her heart rate picked
up.

He chuckled quietly when he noticed she
wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. “Lexi, don’t
you want to know what I’m talking about?”

“Yep,” she said letting her focus shift back
to his emerald green eyes. “I want to…”

“You want me to…” he began letting the words
hang in the silence. Her eyes widened and pupils dilated with
longing at the words. “…tell you what I’m talking about?”

“Oh,” she said, sucking in her bottom lip in
confusion. “That’s not what I thought you were going to say.”

He snickered again. “What I have to say can
wait. What did you want me to say?” he asked leaning into her.

She blushed furiously as her thoughts turned
sexual. She tilted her head back to look up at him. Suddenly, she
wanted to be sitting on the banister so she could get a better look
at him. She wanted to be eye level with him. “Put me up,” she
demanded slapping her hand playfully on the banister.

“Alright, but be careful,” he said hoisting
her up and sitting her on the top of the railing. He held a firm
grip on her so that she wouldn’t fall. A ten foot drop while she
was drunk probably wouldn’t do her any serious damage, but he
didn’t want to take the chance.

She liked her seat. Now she was even with
him. This was much easier. His hand came up and swept her hair out
of her face. “You know, Lexi, you’re very beautiful.”

She smiled at him through her lustful eyes.
“Thank you.” Her breathing quickened as she noticed how close they
had gotten. She hadn’t noticed it before, but he had scooted in
between her legs to block the view from the window. She felt her
bare thighs press against his sides, and realized her skirt was
barely covering her lower half. One hand was wrapped around her
holding her securely in place. The other was on the back of her
neck gently kneading the muscles. His breath was hot on her face.
Their mouths were so close together.

There was no reason for her not to kiss him.
She was single. She was completely one hundred percent available.
Jack was nothing to her. She couldn’t have him. Not the way she
wanted him. She might as well go for what was right in front of
her. She pushed herself a little closer to Ramsey. She was so close
she could almost feel his lips against her. His breathing was
wretched with anticipation. As he moved closer to her, something
caught her eye in the window. She let her gaze shift fleetingly,
and saw the most brilliant blue eyes lock onto her own. Then Ramsey
was kissing her, and all thoughts were lost.

CHAPTER 10

MAY THREE YEARS EARLIER

Lexi crept back into the beach house just
before sunrise. She and Jack had sat together all night peacefully
enjoying each other’s company. Their attempt at friendship had been
mildly successful. Lexi was glad that they had resisted kissing
again. She was pretty sure they had gone over the line that was
normally reserved for friends, but it was so incredibly mild and
tame compared to their normal impulsive demeanor, neither of them
had complained.

They had ended the night with a long hug at
the base of the stairs. Both were staying on the cautious side, and
didn’t want to be caught together like that in the house. She
checked to see that the coast was clear, and then slunk across the
den and into the bedroom. Being extra careful not to wake Sandy up,
Lexi gently twisted the handle and secured it into place. When she
turned around, she realized all efforts were futile. Sandy wasn’t
there.

Lexi’s heart beat in a panic. She could feel
herself beginning to hyperventilate. If Sandy wasn’t there, then
that meant that she knew Lexi hadn’t been in bed. Sandy would tell
everyone. Lexi had no idea what to do. She couldn’t risk everyone
finding out.

Changing clothes, she lay down on the empty
bed, and contemplated her options. She could rush out of bed now
and start making breakfast or something. However, she wasn’t sure
at what point Sandy had left last night and it might make her look
even more conspicuous. She figured she could go find Clark, and
snuggle with him. That would cover her tracks if Sandy came back,
but would hardly explain anything if Sandy had snuck out earlier in
the evening. And anyway, after staying up all night with Jack, she
hardly wanted to see her boyfriend. They hadn’t done anything
wrong…well after they had talked it out they hadn’t. But either
way, she wasn’t quite ready to wash the familiar scent off of her
skin or erase the memories of their night together.

She was fresh out of options. When she was
about ready to give up, the door burst open and Sandy sauntered in
looking all too pleased with herself. Noticing that the room wasn’t
empty, she gasped dramatically and swung the door closed behind
her.

“When did you get back?” she asked
hesitantly, fear evident in her face.

Lexi wasn’t sure why she looked so terrified.
Lexi was the one who had been out at all hours of the night doing
things that she didn’t want anyone to know about. Why would Sandy
be so scared? “What time is it?” Lexi asked stalling.

“Please don’t tell anyone I was out,” Sandy
squealed rushing to the bed and sitting heavily on the quilt
comforter. “Oh God, please don’t tell anyone.” She looked to be
about to go into hysterics. “I didn’t expect you to be back this
morning.”

Now Lexi was
really
confused. Where
had she been? Why was she so frantic about people finding out?
Luckily, this saved Lexi from being confronted about why she had
been out all night. “Where were you?” she questioned Sandy trying
to compose her features.

“Okay, I’ll tell you, but promise you won’t
say anything,” she demanded grabbing for Lexi’s hands as tears
began to well in her eyes.

“Sure. I promise.” Lexi was just damn curious
now.

“Okay. Okay,” Sandy said taking her hands
back and brushing at her eyes. Obviously, she took some comfort in
the fact that Lexi wouldn’t say anything. Her hysterics abated, she
began speaking. “I woke up when you left. I knew immediately where
you were going.”

Lexi tried to keep her face neutral, but
couldn’t help her look of surprise. “Where was that?”

“Obviously you were going to Clark’s room,”
Sandy said making the most girly giggle Lexi had ever heard.

“Oh.” Lexi breathed out a sigh of relief. Of
course that was where Sandy would think she had been. Most sane
women
would
have gone to see their boyfriend in the middle
of the night while they were on vacation. That would have been the
logical thing to do. She scolded herself.

“Don’t worry,” Sandy said conspiratorially,
“I won’t let anyone know that ya’ll were up all night.”

Oh God, Lexi didn’t know it was possible to
feel this bad. Lexi bit her lip to the point of pain and then began
to push her hair behind her ear. She did not want to cry right now,
but Clark was so damn smart. He would know. He would see Jack all
over her. He would be able to piece everything together and realize
what had really gone on last night.

“But when I saw you were gone, I snuck
upstairs to the master bedroom.” Lexi nodded along. Really, she
should have figured as much. The two had been all over each other
since they had arrived. “Seth was very persuasive, and I…well…I
stayed most of the night. I didn’t sleep much though,” Sandy said
as if she were confiding in a friend. “I know you and Clark are
together, but have you and Seth ever?”

Lexi quickly shook her head no. There was no
way in hell. Seth was such a pig. “No. No. No. No. No.”

“You should maybe give it a try.
He’s…wow…amazing.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“More for me then,” she said contentedly. “He
made me swear not to tell anyone. It’s our little secret. So, if
you could just keep it between us that would be great.”

Obviously Seth wouldn’t want Sandy to tell
everyone that they were sleeping together. That way he could sleep
with the other two girls he had brought with him without any of
them knowing about it. How did Sandy not see that? Lexi didn’t
really care to find out. As long as they were both under the
impression that they were keeping each other’s secrets that would
work out just fine for her.

She was exhausted, but still she was unable
to sleep for very long. Tumbling noises from upstairs informed her
that the guys had woken up. From that point on, she would never get
any shut eye. Lexi grabbed her toiletry bag and hobbled into the
empty bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror in
surprise. No wonder Sandy had thought she had been up all night
doing the nasty. She was a wreck.

Her hair was tangled and windblown from a
night on the beach. Her cheeks were plump and rosy. Her lips
cracked and chapping. Two large circles had formed under her
bloodshot eyes from the lack of sleep. Luckily, Sandy hadn’t
noticed the sand covering her body or else she might have asked
more questions. Despite her exhaustion and renewed fear that Clark
would notice a difference in her, she was ready to start the day.
She was ready to see Jack again.

After a shower, Lexi figured she at least
looked presentable, and was ready for some breakfast. As she exited
the room and began to climb the stairs to search for something to
eat, the smell hit her. Pancakes.