Avoiding Commitment (21 page)

“If you don’t stop using that voice with me,
I’m going to take you right here on the beach,” he told her evenly.
“You’re so much sexier when you’re angry.”

Lexi immediately stopped her argument and
openly gaped at him. Was he serious? Was he really going to try to
calm her down by claiming she was in any way
sexy
by yelling
at him? The whole concept just infuriated her further. “I told you
to stop telling me what to do. I will do whatever the fuck I want.
And I want to know why the hell you’re here. You grab me in public
and then completely ignore me. Then, just when I’m accepting that,
you start kissing me?” she squealed. “What kind of game are you
playing? What kind of...”

She was cut off by him standing so swiftly it
hardly registered on her radar. He snatched her up in his arms and
tossed her gently back onto the towel. From his standing position,
he immediately moved over her, pushing his body flush against her.
She gasped at feeling every inch of his hard body just as his mouth
crushed against her own.

All thoughts left her at that point. She
hadn’t been aware how much she wanted him...how turned on she
already was from being close to him. Her body was aching all over
with his mouth against her, moving suggestively from her lips to
neck to ear and demandingly back to her hungry lips. He was hardly
giving her enough time to breathe as he let his tongue roam her
mouth. She let her free hand, that wasn’t grasping at the nape of
his neck, run down to his hips to pull him closer.

Groaning, he continued his assault on her
lips. “I want you right now,” he said, fumbling to reach down her
cotton shorts.

“Jack, no. No, I can’t,” she whispered
pushing him away.

“Lex, goddamn it, you’re killing me,” he
growled sitting up and straddling her.

“Well, if you’d listened the first time, we
wouldn’t be in this situation,” she said in between pants

“If
I’d
listened?” he asked in
disbelief. “I told you I’d take you right here if you didn’t stop
being so damn sexy. You are the one who didn’t listen.”

She sat up and shoved him into the sand away
from her. “Fine whatever, it’s all my fault. It’s always
my
fault! It has nothing to do with you being here when you’re not
supposed to be or you coming down to the beach to find me. It has
absolutely nothing to do with you kissing me, for Christ’s sake!
Taking advantage of me, when you know I can’t control myself around
you,” she spat.

“You can’t control yourself?” he whispered
into the gusty night, his words almost lost in the wind.

“Don’t play with me, Jack,” her dark brown
eyes were nearly black in fury at this point.

“I’m…I’m not playing with you. What do you
mean you can’t control yourself? We’ve been in social situations
for the past two or three years, and you’ve never given me more
than one glimpse of your so called lack of control. I think you
have perfect control. You hardly look at me. You definitely don’t
speak to me. God forbid, we have a normal conversation. So, yes
Lexi, what the fuck are you talking about?”

She had never thought about it that way. She
figured by avoiding him as much as possible that she would in some
way be able to regain the control she lost when suckered into his
enticing thrall. But it didn’t work. All her efforts were futile,
and even worse was she had avoided his wonderful presence and
wasted a friendship…relationship for years.

“I did those things because of my lack of
control. When you touch me Jack, I completely succumb to you. I
give into your every whim.”

“But you don’t. Can’t you see that? If you
did, we would have had sex two years ago,” he vehemently told her.
She let out the breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding.
He was right. He scooted closer to her in the sand, and grasped her
hands in his own. “Because I’ve wanted to be with you every day
since then.”

Words were lost on her. She had wanted him
too, but things were different. She was with Clark now. Spencer had
been a short lived thing, but Clark…he was solid. He had everything
she had ever wanted in a relationship. He was caring, attentive,
understanding, loving…the list was endless.

The only thing he wasn’t…was Jack.

Jack. With all of his fiery passion and
hopeless desire. Jack. Who had secured her a position on the
gymnastics team even though she hadn’t spoken to him in months.
Jack. Who had always wanted her…since they had first met.

“Lex, I know how you feel about me. I feel
that way too. Just…just let me show you what I can be to you,” he
said playing with her fingers embedded in the sand.

She sighed and gazed into his crystal clear
blue eyes. He wanted her. He had always wanted her. “What does that
mean?”

“We’ll do whatever feels natural.”

“You’re talking about having an affair,” she
spoke softly.

“No. It can be platonic. We can be friends,”
he said taking her hand and interlacing it with his own, “if that’s
what you want.”

What he was allowing her was a way in. A way
to be with him…without being with him. The dream sounded amazing.
It wasn’t everything she wanted, but she couldn’t deny it did have
its perks. She could be with him again. She could talk to him and
be friends with him. They could be around each other without the
automatic hot and cold that came from their forced separation.

“Okay, Jack,” she breathed. “I’m giving you a
chance.”

“I’ll show you everything I can be for you,”
he said hesitantly reaching forward and in a companionable manner
kissed her cheek.

Her breath caught despite the friendly nature
of the kiss. Pushing any negative thoughts away, she scooted closer
to Jack and together they sat and watched the ebb and flow of the
waves before them.

CHAPTER 9

PRESENT

Huffing louder than was necessary, Lexi
glanced around Bekah’s guest bedroom in disdain. She had been
directed in here to change for Ramsey’s party, but she was
currently having second thoughts about whether or not that was
smart. She was going to this party because of Jack. Strike one. She
wanted to prove that Bekah was a phony. Strike two. And possibly
humiliate her brother miserably. Strike three.

Wow. She was in a low place.

She tried to clear her mind of her dark
thoughts and really assess the room with an unbiased eye. It was
painted powder blue….Carolina blue. Ironic since she attended Duke.
The wicker collection had all white bedding, and navy blue curtains
hung across the window. Lexi conceded that it was kind of homey.
Though the bed could easily be replaced by a wicker crib, and have
the same effect. This couldn’t have been an accident. Lexi
shuddered.

She realized she simply couldn’t be unbiased
about Bekah. She had made up her mind that she would never like
her…anything about her. Not that the girl was helping out anything
by being kind of crazy and having a pastel, Easter egg colored
house.

She popped open her suitcase and rummaged
around for something to wear to this damn party. Why had she agreed
to go through with this? She was such an idiot. If Chyna could see
her now. She just shook her head at how awful that conversation
would be. Not caring much how she looked, Lexi pulled on a dark
pair of jeans, and unable to resist herself, her favorite,
blue-green, lace halter.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with,” she said
to herself as she walked into the now empty living room. She
wondered where they went, then heard a giggle slice through the
silence. Too curious for her own good, Lexi traipsed back down the
hallway to the source of the noise.

She stopped suddenly when she heard a loud
moan coming from the open door at the end of the hallway. She froze
in place, unable to pull away, as she heard Jack and Bekah talking.
She knew that she shouldn’t eavesdrop on their conversation, but
she couldn’t help herself.

“Jack, come on, stop. She’s right down the
hall,” Bekah breathed.

“I don’t want to stop.”

Lexi could hear some more whispers and a few
smacking noises that she recognized as kissing. She gulped wishing
she had just stayed in the room.

“She’s going to hear us, Jack,” Bekah
squealing smacking his hand.

“I don’t care if she hears.”

Lexi blanched at his words. He couldn’t
honestly be saying those kinds of things after last night. This
made her want to tell Bekah everything. Not just about their past
either. She wanted to tell Bekah about Jack coming home early to
see her, the pillow fight, staying up all night with her, and
almost kissing her. Her hands were shaking at her side.

“Jack,” Bekah mumbled.

“Okay, okay. You’re right. She shouldn’t have
to hear this. I hope she didn’t,” he said wistfully.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

Jack chuckled lightly. “Come on. Let’s get
out of here.”

Lexi darted out of the hallway and back into
the living room not wanting to be caught. She wasn’t sure what to
think of Jack’s comments. Of course, she was pissed, because she
wasn’t certain which part he had meant. He had sounded more like
himself when he had claimed that he didn’t want her to hear, but
she reminded herself that she was biased. Just another thing she
would have to figure out before she went back to New York.

When Bekah came out into the living room,
Lexi couldn’t help but let her mouth drop open at her ridiculously
skimpy outfit. She had on a coral high-waist skirt that barely hit
the tops of her alabaster thighs, and a see-through, cream,
scoop-neck top that did nothing to hide her skinny figure. Four
inch brown heels made her already long legs look even better. Lexi
felt plain next to her.

“Oh, you can’t wear that,” Bekah said
reviewing Lexi’s outfit choice.

“I seem to be hearing that a lot lately,” she
said giving Jack an icy glare.

“Oh well, Ramsey’s parties are a little
different than you’d probably expect,” Bekah said choosing each
word carefully.

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just get this over
with. What should I wear?” Lexi asked easily giving in.

Twenty minutes later, the three found
themselves climbing the stairs to Ramsey’s townhouse in what Lexi
recognized to be the ritzy side of Buckhead. The clothing look that
Bekah had insisted on was a cross between trampy, smutty, and just
a smidge of whore. It had been worth the effort when she had walked
back out of the guest bedroom and had Jack, open-mouthed, gaping at
her. His eyes traveled from the white lace skirt that accentuated
her bronzed skin. Then, he slowly undressed her with his eyes as he
traveled upwards to the cleavage bulging out of her blood red tank.
Her make-up was smoky and seductive. And though Lexi knew that she
looked good without all the added effort, the way that Jack’s eyes
turned crystal clear with desire at her approach certainly made up
for the extra time it took.

Entering the townhouse was like slipping into
a new world. The bottom floor was swarming with people vying to
occupy as much space as possible. Blaring music emanated from
surround sound speakers hiding around the house, and bodies were
grinding to the beat. Lights were dimmed low and flashing strobe
lights projected chaotically across the space. The people were
crowded in so close together that Lexi couldn’t even see past the
living room. She wasn’t sure if there
was
anything past the
living room by the look of the place. She couldn’t help but ogle
the scene in front of her. She felt like she had just entered a
nightclub, not a house party.

Bekah took her reaction as a good thing, and
smiled at her. “I told you it was going to be a little different
than expected,” she yelled over the music.

Lexi nodded, her earlier anticipation about
coming here dissolving. To be honest, she felt very much at home in
this environment. She and Chyna went out nearly every weekend. She
just didn’t know that house parties were this crazy in Atlanta…let
alone by someone like Ramsey. She figured she had a lot to learn
about this Ramsey character.

Lexi felt her hips sway unintentionally to
the music. “This will be fun,” Lexi said to Bekah who appeared
hesitant at Lexi’s own enthusiasm.

“Yeah, it will,” Bekah said reaching up on
the tips of her toes and kissing Jack on the cheek. He smiled down
at her lovingly. Lexi averted her eyes before either of them could
see the horror on her face, but she hadn’t done it in time. Jack
glanced at her almost involuntarily and saw the haunted look cross
her face. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he
couldn’t in front of Bekah. “Let’s go find my brother.”

Getting through the crowded living room was a
feat in and of itself. Several couples were already interlocked for
the evening and disentangling them to create a footpath proved to
be rather tricky. Lexi elbowed a girl in the side to get her to
move into the mass just an inch further. She squeezed her tiny body
against the girl, getting suggestive hip movements pressed against
her as she passed. Finally, wedging between two menacing guys, Lexi
reached the other side which was surprisingly empty compared to the
living room. She trotted into the kibbtchen and breathed a sigh of
relief to be out of that crowd. Jack and Bekah appeared right
behind her.

“Ugh...Ramsey’s really out done himself this
time,” Bekah said brushing her fingers through her still perfect
hair.

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Ramsey agreed appearing
in the kitchen. He looked just as good as her memory afforded her.
When she had first seen him, she had only gotten a critical look at
his back side. And while that was impressive, his whole body was
even better for the eyes. It helped that he wasn’t in a suit. That
way she was able to really see the definition in his chest and
arms. He was dressed simply in fitted dark jeans and a black polo.
Apparently, the dress code for these things didn’t apply to the
host.