Avenged (Hostage Rescue Team Series) (Volume 5) (15 page)

Nathan helped himself to his own breakfast. Only the light clink of silverware against crystal broke the quiet. Taya buttered then spread the preserves onto her toast, and the painful silence between them began to scrape over her nerve endings.

While he was in the middle of spreading peanut butter onto a slice of toast, his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket, and she caught a glimpse of a young brunette pictured on the display. The last one she’d seen had been blonde. And if their pictures were showing up on his phone, then they had to be more than just one-night stands.

His expression turned blank and he silenced the call before placing the phone face down on the table. He didn’t look at her or say anything, so Taya stayed silent, wondering what had caused the change in him.

A few moments later his phone buzzed. He flipped it over in his hand, gave a cursory glance and turned it face-side down again, but not before Taya saw the same brunette and the bubble of a text message on the screen.

They ate together in silence, but there was a strange tension between them now, and it was definitely coming from him. She looked up at him through her lashes as he bit into his toast, tried not to stare at the way his lips moved and wondered what they’d feel like moving over hers. The way he carried himself alone was insanely sexy.

His phone buzzed again, the sound somehow more shrill with it vibrating against the table. He pushed out an annoyed breath and turned the phone back over. This time when he set it face down on the table he looked almost annoyed.

Whoever the brunette was, she really wanted to talk to him. Taya began to feel awkward, as if she’d intruded. “Do you want some privacy?” she asked him finally.

Nathan’s shoulders tensed, his hand frozen around the phone. “No, it’s not important.” He still wasn’t looking at her. Taya got the feeling he was either embarrassed or avoiding her gaze.

A sinking sensation filled her stomach as she put all the pieces together. Cruz’s Dr. Feelgood remark. The young women texting and calling. Only a couple that she’d been aware of, but his reaction to them had been telling and told her there were probably more. And suddenly she was the one who was embarrassed.

Last night she’d not only admitted to this heroic, sexy man that she’d been physically used by the husband who’d been forced upon her, but that she hadn’t been with a man in the five years since she’d been stateside. And here he was being pursued by women wanting a piece of him. Not that she blamed him or was surprised that he had so much female interest—for God’s sake, just look at the man—but it was humiliating to have her pathetic lack of a romantic life out in the open when compared to his.

Taya lowered her gaze to her plate, aware that her face was turning hot. God, what he must think of her. Compared to the women calling him she was old and…used.

The toast she’d swallowed stuck in her throat in a dry lump. She grabbed her coffee, took a big gulp to force it down, uncaring that it scalded her entire esophagus. She felt dirty all of a sudden, as though she needed another shower.

Nathan huffed out a breath, his knife clattering to his plate. “Look, Taya, there’s—”

She held up a hand to stop him and waved it slightly, unable to meet his eyes. “No, don’t apologize. Your private life is none of my business.” And she was such a freaking idiot to ever think he might want her when he clearly had his pick of eager young things looking to hook up. If not for this trial pulling his team into personal security duty, he’d likely be hooking up with one of the women right now.

“
No
.”

The forcefulness of the word made her glance up at him in surprise. Nathan’s face was set, his jaw tense, eyes blazing with emotion. He picked up the phone and wiggled it between his thumb and forefinger, his brows drawn together in a deep scowl. “All these girls calling? Mean
nothing
to me. Zero.” He paused. “But you do. This job, and your safety,
does
. Okay?”

Taya had no idea how to respond to that, didn’t even know what to make of it. Again, beneath his words, she sensed the deeply buried self-loathing she’d detected before. He seemed so earnest, that it was important she believed him. “Okay,” she said quietly, fairly sure he meant it.

The resounding silence in the room pressed in on her as he shifted in his chair, a muscle in his jaw working. “They don’t mean anything,” he said again, this time softer, without looking at her.

He was angry with himself, and clearly embarrassed. She wanted to ask him so many things but was afraid he’d clam up if she did.

His hand fisted on the table, the only sign of his inner turmoil as she waited for him to continue. “I haven’t…dealt with things as well as you have,” he said finally.

Taya kept watching him, hoping he’d keep talking. Things as in PTSD?

His gaze dropped to his lap, a slight flush staining the tops of his cheekbones above his dark auburn whiskers. “I’m not proud of the way I’ve been handling things up ‘til now.”

Handling things… She couldn’t imagine him risking his career by abusing drugs or alcohol, and suddenly his meaning about the women was all too clear. Sex. He’d been using sex as a kind of self-medication. And he clearly wasn’t proud of it.

Taya’s heart ached for him, but she was also concerned. If he was ashamed by his actions, then his behavior was self-destructive. “Is this about Afghanistan?”

He gave a tight nod, uncomfortable with what he’d just admitted. Then he expelled a breath and set the phone back down, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “Mostly.”

Losing a close friend like O’Neil in combat must have been hard for him. “I’m always here if you want to talk to someone,” she said finally, and left it at that. If it was in fact O’Neil’s death that still haunted him, maybe it would help that she’d been there. He had to know she’d understand and relate. She reached for the pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice and poured a glass to signal she wasn’t expecting an answer.

“I meant what I said last night, you know,” he said. “About you inspiring me to be a better person.”

Glancing up, she met Nathan’s hazel stare. She could see the struggle there, the pain he tried to hide beneath the strong, impervious mask he wore. The mask he had to wear in order to safeguard his job and reputation. She wanted to hug him.

Solid footsteps sounded out on the front porch, cutting off anything she might have said to ease him.

Taya’s gaze shot to the front door just as it swung open and Vance came in. The man was built like a linebacker, wearing cargo pants and a black polo shirt. “Hey, what up, Dr. Feelgood?” His deep voice boomed through the room.

Nathan grunted at him. “Stop calling me that. You want some chow before you hit the rack?”

“Yeah, don’t mind if I do.” He sauntered over to the table, gave her a polite nod before taking the chair beside Nathan’s. “I’m guessing that coffee’s not decaf, huh?”

“No,” Nathan answered, glancing at Taya.

“I’ll wait ‘til the next rotation then,” Vance said, and helped himself to some toast and the fresh-baked muffins.

A few seconds of silence passed. “Well, guess I’ll go check in with the boss.” Nathan stood and took his plate over to the sink. Once he’d loaded it into the dishwasher he glanced over his shoulder at her. “You’ve got a conference call with the prosecution team this morning, right?”

“In about an hour.”

He nodded. “One of us’ll be here or at least on the grounds at all times. The other two will be around. Call or text if you need anything.”

It was weird, she could already feel him distancing himself from her. Was it because he was embarrassed about what he’d revealed? Or was it because of the job? “I will.”

****

Nathan strode down the front pathway that led from the porch to the road, edgy as hell after what had just happened. What must Taya be thinking of him now?

At the curb he slid his earpiece in and activated it, noting the minivan parked at the end of the street. “Cruz, I’m gonna walk around the perimeter.”

“Enjoy yourself, sunshine.”

Despite his bad mood Nate cracked a grin at his teammate’s overly upbeat tone, faced the minivan and raised his middle finger high.

Cruz chuckled. “No thanks, I don’t swing that way, brother. But damn, you are hot, so I’m kind of flattered,” he said in a dry voice.

“You should be,” Nate teased. He turned east and started up toward the garden on the far edge of the property.

It was shaping up to be a gorgeous day, the sun warm on his shoulders, the birds chirping in the trees and the sound of the sea a soothing, constant rush in the distance. It still didn’t lighten his mood.

As he walked, watching for anything suspicious, all he could think about was what a pussy he was. Those phone calls and texts Taya had been witness to had irritated and embarrassed him. After how honest she’d been with him last night, telling him secrets that couldn’t be easy for her, he’d felt like he owed her the same.

Now he wished he’d kept his mouth shut. After what he’d said, she was now fully aware that he wasn’t nearly as in control as he wanted everyone to think. And she also knew he’d been trying to fuck his way out of his PTSD or whatever the hell it was.

That flash of pity he’d seen in her eyes had hit him hard. She was a rape victim who’d survived degradation on a level he hated to think about, and here he’d become a man-slut, going from lay to lay in an effort to escape his issues. God, even if he’d had a shot of being with her when this security gig was over, she wouldn’t want anything to do with him now. And he didn’t blame her.

Realizing he’d just lowered himself to the level of having a private pity party, he pulled his phone out and dialed DeLuca. “Hey, Schroder, what’s up?” his commander said.

“Just checking in. Everything’s good here. Any new developments to report on the investigation?”

“Nope. No word yet on the missing witnesses, but the three remaining ones have doubled security teams on them. Nobody’s sure yet how the attackers found the targets or how they pulled it all off, especially in Chloe’s case since WITSEC was involved. How’s Taya?”

“She’s fine. Upset about her friend, though.”

“Yeah, it’s a shitty-ass mess. Listen, I’ve got Bauer, Evers and Blackwell heading into D.C. to beef up security on one of the other witnesses. You guys good down there? I can send Tuck down if need be.”

“No, we’re good for now.” And hopefully there wouldn’t be any more issues to deal with. Taya had been through more than enough. “I heard they might be pushing the start date of the trial up by a few days.”

“That’s the rumor. Still waiting for the official word. Given the security situation for the remaining witnesses, the DOJ wants to start things sooner and get everything rolling, minimize the risk of any further attacks.”

Nate shook his head. “Security at that trial is gonna be insane.”

“Yeah, and we’ll likely get called in on standby for that, along with Gold Team.”

Nate didn’t like the thought of being pulled away from Taya, even for a situation that warranted both HRT assault teams being present. “Who would take over witness security? WITSEC?”

“Most likely. It’s a total shit-show over there right now though. Nothing like yesterday has ever happened before in the history of the program. Heads are rolling on some higher up’s floor right now, I’m sure.”

“I’ll bet.” He’d made it to the far end of the property, marked by curving garden borders filled with all kinds of flowers beginning to bloom. There were no footprints visible on the dewy grass or anything that suggested anyone had been snooping around, so he skirted the edge of the neatly trimmed lawn and began walking east toward the beach. The sun glinted off the water in sparkling strikes of silver and gulls cried overhead. “Taya’s got a phone meeting with the prosecution shortly, but other than that we’ve got nothing going on here. I’ll be in touch.”

“Sounds good.”

Nate slipped his phone back into his pocket and scanned the yard. A movement on the front porch caught his eye. Taya stepped out to the railing and stood facing the water for a moment with Vance, one hand shading her eyes. She glanced his way, and even from where he stood he could see the smile she flashed him as she waved.

Longing and protectiveness surged up inside him; protectiveness won out. She shouldn’t be out in the open, but Vance had obviously thought it safe enough for her to come outside for a minute.

His teammate had it covered.
You’re here to do a job, and you have to stay focused if you want to keep Taya safe
. That meant stepping back from her and keeping his distance.

Raising a hand in acknowledgement, he turned and abruptly walked away.

“I think I’ve got something.”

Ayman dropped the papers he’d been going through and sat up straight on the couch at Jaleel’s excited announcement. “What?”

His friend angled his laptop so Ayman could see the screen. “Here. I’ve been looking at incoming and outgoing calls from her father’s place in North Carolina. A call came in there early this morning from a phone with an unlisted number, but the cell tower in the area pinged it as coming from just south of Virginia Beach.”

“So?”

“So don’t interrupt me. I also found calls coming in to that same number this morning, about an hour afterward. When I traced the number of that caller, I got the District Attorney’s office.” Jaleel’s expression was pure smugness. “Even though I can’t trace the other number, it’s fairly close to D.C., only a couple hours south. And it can’t be coincidence that it called her house and then received a call from the Attorney General’s office. Has to be her.” A broad, cocky smile filled his face.

“I guess it could be her,” he allowed, the first stirrings of excitement flashing through him. “Is there any way to narrow it down from here? Or to hack into the system and track the conversations themselves?”

“I’m still trying. But you should tell the others what’s going on.”

“All right.” Ayman left the tiny study they’d been holed up in for the past eight hours. They were at the home of one of The Brethren’s contacts, though there hadn’t been any formal introductions to the other men staying here. He walked down the short hallway on the townhome’s second floor and knocked on the closed door at the end.