Autumn's Wish (16 page)

Reenzie grimaces, then heads into the gym after Sean.

By now almost everyone has arrived, so I volunteer to stick around and hand out the last cards while the rest of the sisterhood goes into the gym.

“I'll stay too,” Gus says. “Doug Church already told me he has a boyfriend he met online. Whole dance concept, complete waste of time.”

Gus is fun, and the two of us are having a good time dishing about which computer couples we think will succeed and which will crash and burn, when Tom Watson comes out of the gym and beelines for Gus.

“Seriously hating you right now,” Tom says.

Tom's bookishly adorable, with thick-framed glasses and the uncanny ability to wear a vest over a button-down striped shirt, red tie, and pressed jeans and make it look not just semiformal but high fashion.

“What did I do?” Gus asks.

“You sicced Anton Graff on me! I just broke up with him last week!”

“No clue what you're talking about,” Gus says. “The computer did everything.”

“The computer gave me Jack Rivers. Anton has his own little extra card with my name on it.” He points at Gus.
“J'accuse!”

“Okay, put that thing away, 'cause I want no part of it,” Gus says. “Whatever crazy forgery Anton made is on him. More importantly…Jack Rivers is
gay
?!”

“I know, right?” Tom says excitedly. “And he's really cute. I think this might be his coming out party.”

I am dying listening to their conversation. It's perfect! Jack has a secret crush on Tom; Tom thinks Jack is totally cute….This will be exactly the encouragement Jack needs to get over his fear and embrace his true self!

“
Mija!
You will not believe the
mishegoss
this boy put me through!”

Ames is a self-proclaimed PuertoMecuadorbano Jew. Her mom's side is a mix of Latina ancestries, and her dad brings home the no-bacon. When she speaks Spanish, I'm with her. When she pulls out the Yiddish, she loses me. Right now she's strutting down the hall in heels so high I'd break my neck if I tried to take a step, and she's poured into a skintight tiger-stripe dress that by all rights should be a crime against fashion but on her looks spectacular. Rows of bracelets clink up and down her arms as she walks.

Jack is several feet behind her. He wears a rumpled blue suit and doesn't even attempt to keep up.

“He lost his car keys inside his house,” Ames explains. “
Panzon!
I had to wait around for almost an hour before he found them
in the freezer
!”

“Because that's where I got the pizza I had for dinner!” Jack explains as he catches up and joins us. “It was way in the back and the baggie it was in was all iced over, so I had to use my keys to chop it out. I left them there by accident.”

“How old was that pizza that you had to
chop
it out of the freezer?!” Ames shoots back. Then she says, “You know what? Never mind. Autumn, give me my man.”

I hand her the envelope with her name on it. She rips it open and reads it in a blink. “Michael Watley?
Dios mio,
yes!” She tosses the card over her shoulder and slinks into the gym, singsonging, “It's your lucky day, Mikey!”

Behind Jack and me, Tom clears his throat. We both turn. Tom stands a couple feet away, an adorable smile on his face. I can't help but smile back. I know what's going to happen and I can't wait.

“Excuse me,” Tom says to Jack, “but it would be my honor to personally deliver your Scare Pair card. I think you'll see why.”

I scan Jack's face for the excitement I know he must be feeling. I can only imagine his racing heart and his sweaty palms as Tom approaches him.

I look for those things, but I don't see them. Honestly, the closer Tom gets, the more Jack looks like he smells something gross.

He takes the envelope from Tom. Tom leans forward as Jack rips it open, like it's Christmas and he's just waiting for Jack to unwrap the best gift ever.

Jack pulls out the card. He stares at it. He scrunches his brows.

“What is
this
?”

Tom casts a quick glance at Gus, then back at Jack. He looks a little uncertain now and laughs nervously. “It's your Scare Pair card. I've got the matching one.”

He holds up his own card, but Jack sneers, “I can't be hooked up with you. You're a
dude.
”

The word drips with scorn, and Tom understands immediately. He purses his lips and nods. “Got it. Some kind of computer glitch. No worries.”

“No worries?! No
worries
?!” Jack's voice floats high and out of control. “This is sick, that's what this is. This is somebody's sick joke!”

“Okay, enough with the ‘sick' stuff,” Gus says. “It's a mistake. It happens.”

Both Tom and Gus look completely disgusted, and I know I have to do something quick. This is supposed to be Jack's big watershed moment. I can't let it fall to shreds.

“Gus is right!” I say, jumping between Jack and the guys. “I mean, the whole Scare Pair thing is just about meeting new people, right? So forget the fix-up part. I mean, it's a funny mess-up, right? You guys can go in to the party as friends and laugh about it!”

“You are a sad person,” Tom says. “You can hang out here if you want. I'm going to go in and dance. Want to join me, Gus?”

“Love to.”

No!
I want to scream as the two of them walk into the gym.
You have it wrong! Jack's
gay
!
I swear! I don't know why he's acting this way!

Jack, meanwhile, is turning into the Incredible Hulk—a description he'd appreciate under pretty much any other circumstance. His face is fire-engine red, his fists clench and unclench, he snorts through his nose, and he's pacing back and forth across the hall.

“Jack, calm down,” I say gently. “This doesn't have to be a big deal.”

Instead of answering, Jack
roars
—this horrible, guttural noise—and punches his fist into a wall. Immediately he yelps and clutches his hand to his chest.

“Jack!” I gasp. “Are you okay?”

I put my hand on his back, but he shakes me off. “I'm going home,” he mutters. “Tell Ames to get another ride.”

He storms down the hall. I take a few steps after him, then stop and clench my fingers in my hair, no idea what to do. I'm still trying to figure it out when I hear loud, high shrieks from inside the gym. I run inside. It's pitch black, lit only by strobes and red, green, and orange gelled lights, plus fog shrouds the room. Still, it's impossible not to see what's going on. Ames is in the middle of the dance floor, on the back of Corbin Foster. It almost looks like Corbin's giving her a piggyback ride, except she's flapping her arms, trying to push Ames off her, while Ames yanks at Corbin's hair and swears at her in a string of Spanish so filthy, Eddy would stand up and cheer. Zander's right in front of the scrum, applauding and cheering her on.

“Girl fight!” he cheers. “Keep it up!”

Mr. Winthrop, our faculty chaperone, races to Ames and pulls her off Corbin. I run over, too, and Taylor and Drew meet me there. Ames kicks and struggles in Mr. Winthrop's grip, while Corbin darts to the safety of Zander's arms.

“You need to stop, Amalita,” Mr. Winthrop says. “You're already facing a suspension for fighting. Don't make it worse.”

The word “suspension” makes Ames freeze. She looks up at Mr. Winthrop plaintively. “Pleeeease don't suspend me. You suspend me and
soy muerta.
And I'm sorry, but you saw that girl. She was all over him. You
know
Zander's mine.”

Mr. Winthrop frowns. “Really? 'Cause that's not the scuttlebutt I've been hearing. Why don't we go sit down and you can give me your take.”

Unbelievable. Ames just imploded and Mr. Winthrop's using it to make sure he's solid on the latest gossip.

“Actually, Mr. Winthrop,” Taylor says. “I was thinking Drew and I could just take her home.”

“I'll come too,” I say, but Taylor shakes her head.

“We're good,” she says, and smiles shyly up at Drew. “We were going to leave soon anyway.”

Drew smiles back at her. Their connection is so obvious I can practically see it sizzle. I may have inadvertently destroyed Amalita's and Jack's lives, but at least one thing went well tonight. I nod, and Taylor puts an arm around Ames and leads her out of the gym. I talk to Mr. Winthrop for a bit and try to convince him not to suspend Ames. He agrees to strongly consider it, but only if I give him the scoop about what was going on with J.J. and me in Mrs. Foreman's office the other day.

No, he doesn't actually say it that way. He acts like they're two totally different issues, but I know him well enough to get what he's after. We go chat in a corner and I give him just enough to satisfy his need for news: that it was just tutoring, it maybe got a little flirty, but it's all up in the air and I'd appreciate his discretion because Carrie doesn't know anything about it, and J.J.'s still very much with her.

“You sure about that?” Mr. Winthrop asks.

He nods to the dance floor. Despite Amalita's scene, the music never stopped, and now people are back out like nothing ever happened. A slow dance plays, and the first couple I notice is Zander and Corbin, though I can't imagine why Mr. Winthrop's pointing them out. Reenzie and Sean are dancing, too, but that's irrelevant to our conversation.

Then I see it. Carrie and Keith Hamilton sway in each other's arms. They're just under one of the green-gelled lights, so they're not hard to see. They're pressed tightly together. Keith is taller than J.J., and Carrie has to stretch her arms long to wrap them around his neck. Her head tilts back to gaze up at him, and as they talk and laugh I can't help but notice that his eyes constantly move from her face to the cleavage bursting from the sweetheart neckline of her dress.

“Is this the Scare Pair song?” I ask Mr. Winthrop, and he shakes his head.

“That was a half hour ago,” he says. “They've been at it ever since.”

I scan the dance floor for J.J. and Mariah, but I don't see them. “Where's J.J.?”

Mr. Winthrop nods toward the wall next to the dance floor. It's too dark for me to see anything but shadows…until a strobe light blinks on and I see J.J. in its fractured glow. He leans against the wall, arms folded, his face a wooden mask.

I'm completely torn. It's awful to see J.J. so obviously hurt and angry, but at the same time this is
exactly
what I wanted to happen. And not just selfishly so J.J. can be free. Breaking them up will save them both from a horrible, dead-end, unhappy future. It's like with Sean—yes, I'm making J.J. miserable now, but in the long run I'm saving his life!

As they dance, Keith leans down and kisses Carrie high on her neck, right by her ear. Carrie doesn't pull away. She smiles and tilts her head to the side, giving Keith more room to play. Just before the strobe stops flashing, I see J.J. stalk out of the gym.

Mr. Winthrop nudges me. “If I were up in the air with a boy and I saw him run out all upset like that, I'd go after him.”

I'm completely grossed out by getting love advice from a teacher…but he's right. I run out of the gym and see J.J. pacing back and forth, taking deep breaths as he runs his fingers through his hair and clenches them tight.

“J.J….hey.”

He looks at me with unfocused eyes, then takes a deep, determined breath. “I need to walk,” he says. “You want to go for a walk?”

I feel a thrill and do my best not to sound inappropriately excited. “Sure.”

He walks us down the hall and out the door. Neither of us says anything, and I let J.J. lead the way. It's warm out, but there's a light breeze blowing, and I think about how nice it would feel to have J.J.'s arm around me. He keeps his hands in his pockets, though, and his head down. I stay by his side as we walk the path past the lawn where we all eat lunch, then down to the track. There are no lights, but the moon is full enough that I see J.J. in a shimmery glow.

“You okay?” I finally ask.

He shakes his head.

“The sick part is she told me she had a crush on him,” he finally says, looking down at his shoes. “She told me that back in freshman year, when we dated the first time. And now she fixes herself up with him, like it gives her an excuse to do whatever she wants, like it doesn't even matter….”

He shakes his head and keeps walking.

I shouldn't try to make this better. I
want
him upset with Carrie, for a million reasons. But I can't help it.

“It was the computer,” I say. “She didn't fix herself up with him at all.”

Okay, it's a half-truth, but maybe it'll help.

“Whatever,” J.J. says. We're at the bleachers now, and he leans against them. “The computer fixed me up with someone I used to have a crush on too. And you know what I did? Spent one dance with her, then went looking for Carrie. Because she's my
girlfriend.
Did you even see her in there with him?”

I nod, but I'm not really listening. I'm staring at the way the moonlight hits his face. He looks so sad and broken. I'm dying to reach out and touch him. Comfort him. Maybe put my hand on his cheek, or—

“I don't get it, Autumn,” he says. “She knew I was there. Who would do that right in front of me?”

I know exactly what I want to reply, but every brain cell screams at me not to do it.

Brain cells are overrated.

“I wouldn't,” I say. And before my annoying brain can weigh in again, I wrap my arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him. He's surprised at first; then he kisses me back. His arms pull me closer and I hear the sound of the ocean in my ears because everything else is gone. There's nothing in the world but J.J., me, and this kiss. I never want it to end, and I can tell—I can
feel
—that he doesn't either. He's in love with me just like I'm in love with him, and he has been forever, just like he told me in the future.