August: Osage County (5 page)
Read August: Osage County Online
Authors: Tracy Letts
IVY: He wasn’t a loser—
VIOLET: He dumped you, didn’t he? To my mind, that makes him—
IVY: He did not dump me. It just didn’t work out between us.
VIOLET: All right, yes, dear, I’m sorry. I’ll get it straight. I’m sorry. But maybe it would’ve worked out between you if you’d worn some makeup.
(Takes another pill)
How many was that?
(Takes another pill)
How many was that?
IVY: I wasn’t counting.
(Violet takes another pill.)Is your mouth burning?
VIOLET: Like a son-of-a-bitch. My tongue is on fire.
IVY: Are you supposed to be smoking?
VIOLET: Is anybody supposed to smoke?
IVY: You have cancer of the mouth.
VIOLET: Ivy. I have enough to worry about right this minute without you getting on me about my smoking.
IVY: I’m not getting on you.
VIOLET: Just leave it alone.
IVY: Are you scared?
VIOLET: ’Course I’m scared. And you are a comfort, sweetheart. Thank God one of my girls stayed close to home. My generation, families stayed together.
IVY: That was a different time.
VIOLET: No kidding. Did you call Mattie Fae?
IVY: Aunt Mattie Fae’s here.
VIOLET: I know that, dummy, did
you
call her?
you
call her?
IVY: I thought you called her.
VIOLET: I guess I did. I don’t remember.
IVY: You’ve got a lot on your mind.
VIOLET: She means to come in here and tell
me
what’s what.
me
what’s what.
IVY: I don’t know how Uncle Charlie puts up with it.
VIOLET: He smokes a lot of grass.
IVY: He does?
VIOLET: He smokes a
lot
of grass.
lot
of grass.
(They laugh.)
IVY: “Grass”? You say “grass”?
VIOLET: What do you call it?
IVY: Hey, are you into Clapton now?
VIOLET: What?
IVY: Eric Clapton, you have an Eric Clapton album.
VIOLET: I’ve had it forever.
IVY: I’ve never seen it.
VIOLET: I like it. It’s got a good beat. I’m not old, you know.
(Lights down on the dining room and up on the front porch as Barbara and Bill arrive, carrying suitcases. Violet and Ivy exit and, during the following, Mattie Fae and Charlie enter from the kitchen and cross to the dining room with plates of hot apple pie.)
BARBARA: What’s Jean doing?
BILL: Smoking.
BARBARA: I wish you wouldn’t encourage that.
BILL: I haven’t encouraged anything.
BARBARA: I don’t know, there’s just something a little funny about the way you say, “smoking,” like you admire her for getting hooked at fourteen.
BILL: Are you ready for this?
BARBARA: No. No way.
BILL: Well. Take a second.
(They stand, taking in the night, breathing the air.)
BARBARA: Goddamn, it’s hot.
BILL: Wimp.
BARBARA: I know it. Colorado spoiled me.
BILL: That’s one of the reasons we got out of here.
BARBARA: No, it’s not.
BILL: You suppose your mom’s turned on the air conditioner?
BARBARA: Are you kidding? Remember the parakeets?
BILL: The parakeets.
BARBARA: I didn’t tell you about the parakeets? She got a parakeet, for some insane reason, and the little fucker croaked after about two days. So she went to the pet store and raised hell and they gave her another parakeet. That one died after just one day. So she went back and they gave her a third parakeet and that one died, too. So the chick from the pet store came out here to see just what in hell this serial parakeet killer was doing to bump off these birds.
BILL: And?
BARBARA: The heat. It was too hot. They were dying from the heat.
BILL: Jesus.
BARBARA: These are tropical birds, all right? They live in the fucking tropics.
(Beat. She looks out.)What were these people thinking?
BILL: What people?
BARBARA: The jokers who settled this place. The Germans and the Dutch and the Irish. Who was the asshole who saw this flat hot nothing and planted his flag? I mean, we fucked the Indians for
this
?
this
?
BILL: Well, genocide always seems like such a good idea
at the time
.
at the time
.
BARBARA: Right, you need a little hindsight.
BILL: Anyway, if you want me to explain the creepy character of the Midwest, you’re asking the wrong—
BARBARA: Hey. Please. This is not the Midwest. All right?
Michigan
is the Midwest, God knows why. This is the Plains: a state of mind, right, some spiritual affliction, like the Blues.
Michigan
is the Midwest, God knows why. This is the Plains: a state of mind, right, some spiritual affliction, like the Blues.
BILL: “Are you okay?” “I’m fine. Just got the Plains.”
(They laugh. He reaches up and touches her neck tenderly.)
BARBARA: Don’t.
(She pulls away. They look away from one another, an uncomfortable moment.)(Regarding Jean)
What, is she smoking a fucking cigar?
BILL: She’s coming.
(Jean arrives on the front porch, carrying a suitcase.)You ready, kiddo?
JEAN: Yeah, sure.
BARBARA: All right.
(Gives Jean a quick kiss)
You’re precious. I’m having a hot flash. All right . . . here goes.
(Gives Jean a quick kiss)
You’re precious. I’m having a hot flash. All right . . . here goes.
(Lights up on the entryway as Barbara, Bill and Jean enter.)Mom?!(Lights up on the dining room. Mattie Fae and Charlie travel from the dining room to the entryway. The following salutations are quick and overlapping, and they range from
forte
[Mattie Fae] to
piano
[Ivy].)
| MATTIE FAE: Oh my God, Barbara!— | BARBARA: Hi, Aunt Mattie Fae— |
MATTIE FAE: You give me some sugar!
(Barbara and Mattie Fae hug.)(Over Barbara’s shoulder)
Hi, Bill! Look how skinny you are!
BILL: Hi, Mattie Fae.
MATTIE FAE: Oh my gosh, will you look at this one? Come here and give your Aunt Mattie Fae some sugar!
(Mattie Fae and Jean hug. Bill and Charlie shake hands.)
BILL: Hi, Charlie.
CHARLIE: ’Lo, Bill. Man, you have dropped some weight, haven’t you?
MATTIE FAE
(Still to Jean)
: My gosh, you’re so big! And look at your big boobs! They’re so big! Last time I saw you, you looked just like a little boy!
(Still to Jean)
: My gosh, you’re so big! And look at your big boobs! They’re so big! Last time I saw you, you looked just like a little boy!
(Barbara and Charlie hug.)
CHARLIE: Hello, sweetheart.
BARBARA: Good to see you, Uncle Charlie.
CHARLIE: You too.
MATTIE FAE: Oh, I can’t get over that one, she’s just too much. Come here, Bill, and give me some sugar!
(Charlie mushes Jean’s shoulder, kisses her on the temple.)
CHARLIE: Lovely to see you, dear.
JEAN: Yeah, same here.
CHARLIE
(Gently mocking)
: Same here, same here.
(Gently mocking)
: Same here, same here.
(Violet appears on the stairway, followed by Ivy. Violet bursts into tears, rushes to Barbara, clenches her. Ivy watches from the stairs.)
BARBARA: It’s okay, Mom. I’m here, I’m here.
(Violet weeps. The others are awkwardly respectful of the moment.)Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here.
BILL
(To Charlie)
: No word then?
(To Charlie)
: No word then?
| CHARLIE: No. | MATTIE FAE: No, huh-uh. |
BARBARA: It’s okay, Mom.
VIOLET: What am I going to do? What am I going to do?
BARBARA: Well, we can talk about that. Did you see Bill and Jean?
(Violet takes them in, disoriented.)
VIOLET: Yes. Hi, Bill.
BILL: Hello, Violet.
(Violet and Bill kiss.)I’m sorry you’re going through this.(Violet holds Bill, cries.)
VIOLET: I’m just so scared.
(Mattie Fae reaches out, strokes Violet’s back.)
MATTIE FAE: Of course you are, poor thing.
VIOLET: You’re too thin.
BILL: Hardly.
VIOLET: Yes, you are.
(Violet sees Jean.)Well, look at you.
MATTIE FAE: I know, isn’t she something else? Look at her boobs!
JEAN: O-kay, we’ve all stared at my tits now.
MATTIE FAE: They’re just so darn big.
CHARLIE: Mattie Fae . . .
(Violet hugs Jean.)
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