Atrophy (23 page)

“I was going to say mercenary. But yeah, if you want to go with that.” Zander sent him a grim smile, but he could see the concern lurking in his old friend’s gaze.

He dragged a hand over his hair, glancing down to focus on the half-empty bottle of Violaine. “It was when the
Lone Cadence
got taken.”

Their ship had been attacked and disabled by an unidentified vessel. As the commander gave orders to prepare for boarding, they’d been blasted with some kind of energy wave, going right through the shields like they weren’t even there. It had hurt like a mother and knocked him out cold. When he’d woken up, he’d been in some lab he’d come to learn later was on Cassius.

The cage they’d kept him in was invisible, but the energy barrier was real and incapacitating whenever he touched it. Toward the end, there’d been days when he’d made contact with it on purpose just to put himself out. Less than half of the
Lone Cadence’s
crew had been in that lab—he had no idea what happened to the rest, but assumed the worst.

Over the days, weeks, and months, as the experiments and torture wore on and he started forgetting who he’d been outside of that lab, the others died, or disappeared, or were simply killed for reasons he could never determine, until he was only one left. He’d asked himself a million times why and how he’d survived that hell when no one else had.

“These aliens—” Zander started, his tone carefully neutral.

Goddamn, he’d gone so deep into the memories he’d forgotten the guy was even sitting there. He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, removing the sweat that had beaded on his top lip. “The Reidar.”

“Right, the Reidar. They were responsible for what happened to the
Lone Cadence
?”

He gave a short nod, all the muscles in his body tight to the point of aching. He grabbed the bottle of Violaine, not even bothering with the civility of a glass anymore.

“The rest of the crew—?”

“Dead. At least I hope for their sakes they are.” He’d wondered a few times if the other half had simply been taken to a different lab for the same treatment.

Zander swore under his breath, expression taut.

He took another swig of the Violaine. He wanted to be straight with Zander, but there were some things he couldn’t tell, some things he would never tell
anyone
. Things buried so deep he didn’t clearly remember them anymore—not that he wanted to—things that he would shoot himself in the head before he ever let them into the light of day.

“Eventually I escaped from the lab, but I wanted to stay dead to Zahli, my parents, everyone really. I was messed up. I
am
messed up. A lot of days I wonder why the hell I came back.”

“
Lab
?” Zander’s voice held a deep note of shocked disbelief. “Jezus frecking Christ, Rian.”

He looked directly at Zander for the first time since they’d started this dismal conversation. “Don’t ask me what they did, Zander, I can’t tell you.”

Zander glanced away from him, one hand clenching the arm of the couch, while he swiped the other over his face.

“Anything you need,
anything
, any time, you can count on me.” Zander’s voice was tempered in metium, but still held a thread of deep emotion.

He took another mouthful of Violaine, washing down the bad taste in the back of his throat he always got whenever he talked about the things he’d been through. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Graydon.”

Zander looked back at him, a fire of resolve burning in his gaze. “Tell me I’m a pussy if you want, but I’ve missed you. So don’t blow me off. You ever need something, legal or otherwise, you come to me.”

Rian set down the bottle of Violaine, Zander’s vow making him feel more secure than the liquor ever could. “You want to do me a favor? See if you can take care of the two million credit bounty Baden Niels put out for Ella.”

“Consider it done.” There wasn’t the slightest hesitation in Zander’s voice. He held out his hand. Rian took it slowly, unsurprised when Zander yanked him forward for some back-slapping. This time, he didn’t get twitchy over it, but it still sent a low swell of unease through him.

“So Ella is some kind of priestess?” Zander asked as he sat back. “How in the fiery pits of Erebus did she end up onboard this trash compactor?”

Talking about Ella almost made him want to go back to the Reidar-torture part of the conversation. Instead, he shoved his hair off his face and started from when Arnon Rance had contacted him. Maybe all the Violaine had mellowed him out, but it’d been a long time since he’d had a decent conversation with anyone. Usually he hated any kind of in-depth discussion. But talking with Zander was an old kind of familiar. From easier times when he’d thought getting stuck on the dead zones of Minnea, cut off from supplies, was the worst thing that could happen to him. Now he knew there were far worse things lurking in the galaxy than the simple threat of death.

Chapter Nineteen

T
annin winced as Zahli placed the ice-cold gel pack against his jaw.
Bloody Sherron
. Anyone else might have given him a pat on the back, shaken his hand, or at least thrown him a
thanks
. But not Rian. No, the deranged sonuvabitch had to go clock him one.

All right, so he could understand the captain’s position, because he hadn’t followed orders. But surely there were some instances when the needs of the crew overruled standing orders? Lianna had certainly agreed. Besides, coming at them from behind had worked, because the aliens had turned tail and run.

Sherron could have simply given him a stern word or two. Tannin flexed his jaw, feeling the pull of aching, bruised muscle. He supposed words wouldn’t have been as effective.

“Maybe I should go get Kira. Her MRD will fix this up in no time.” Zahli pulled the gel pack off and leaned in to look closer, standing between his legs where he sat on one of the cots.

Oh, hell, no
. He’d had enough of that thing when they’d repaired his shoulder. “It’s just a bruise, how about we let it heal on its own?”

“Fine, walk around with a disfigured face.” An annoyed look crossed her features as she pushed the cold compress back in place, a little less gentle about it this time. He took it from her before she could do him any more damage. Wasn’t half hard to tell who she was related to.

“I’m sorry, are my battle scars offensive to you?”

She made a face at him. “If it were a battle scar, I’d be impressed. Getting hit by Rian doesn’t count. Everyone’s been hit by Rian.”

“
Everyone?
Including you?” He might have to go find their captain and pick that fight the man had been asking for.

She rolled her eyes. “Of course not. He might be a bastard sometimes, but he wouldn’t hurt me. I’m disappointed you could even think that.”

“I didn’t really think that. I just had to check. I go a bit nuts whenever I think of anyone hurting you.”

Like those moments up in the bridge, when he’d watched the viewport as the Reidar forced their way into the galley and opened fire.

He’d had no thoughts of self preservation and had burned to storm his way through every Reidar, if only to get to Zahli, to make sure for himself that someone defended her, that nothing would happen to her.

She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Yes, I’m beginning to notice your appalling tendency to throw yourself into the line of fire when you think I need protecting. You do realize I got along just fine before you came into my life?”

The lingering echo of apprehension that had torn through him made his heart stutter and his chest tighten. “Maybe you were getting along just fine, but I don’t think I was.”

He dropped the gel pack on the cot, since it was doing shite-all anyway, and reached out to grab the thin twine of her necklace, tracing his fingers over the skin at her collarbone.

Zahli sighed and moved closer, her hands coming to rest in the middle of his chest. “Why do you tempt me when this can’t go anywhere, when we could get caught at any second?”

He slipped a hand to the back of her neck and tilted her head. “Because, no matter what I do, I can’t resist you.”

Leaning down, he covered her mouth with his and slid off the edge of the cot to stand, so he could pull her lush curves against him, feel her sensuous body from thighs upward. As he kissed her, as he allowed himself the luxury of tasting her, of touching his tongue to hers, sparks swirled and rose like a wildfire catching a summer wind. He could no longer ignore the need to have her, to make her his in the most primal way.

When he moved, she went with him and he walked her back until they came up against the wall next to the medbay doors. He couldn’t stop kissing her, even as he slapped a palm over the display to close the hatchway, even as he wrenched the whole damn thing off the wall and reached in to grope at the micro-crystal components so he could rip out whatever he could get his hands on. The sabotage wasn’t exactly a complicated job and no doubt easy to fix, but as long as it kept everyone else out, he couldn’t really care less.

The door taken care of, he caught the bottom edge of Zahli’s shirt and tugged it up, breaking the kiss for the fraction of a second it took to pull the material over her head. Her fingers caught the top stud of his shirt, pulling it free. But doing that one by one would take too long, so he took over, ripping it open down to where it was tucked into his pants, tearing the fabric and sending a few studs pinging to the floor. As he shrugged out of the shirt, her hands were cool on his too-warm skin, raising swirls of pleasure wherever they touched.

He looped an arm around her waist and yanked her harder against him, his mouth landing on her neck, sucking a path down to the upper swells of her breasts, right to the edge of the red-wine-colored bra she wore.

“We can’t do this. Someone will catch us.” Zahli’s breath came out short. But her half-hearted protest didn’t faze him, considering she had her hands on his ass.

He growled, snapping open the top catch on her pants. “We’re already doing this. And I’ll shoot anyone who tries to come in before we’re finished.”

She laughed. “You don’t have a gun.”

“Then I’ll make them wish I did.” He paused, a palm against her cheek as he looked into her passion-drenched dark blue eyes. “I’m not letting anything or anyone come between us. Not anymore.”

She leaned up to kiss him again and he could feel and taste her acceptance, telling him without words that she’d take all he offered. With a hand on each hip, he turned them and took the few steps back to the cot he’d been sitting on, setting her on the edge of the thin mattress.

He tugged her pants and she braced her hands back on the bed, lifting her hips, a seductive smile edging her lips as he slid the pants down her legs and abandoned them to the floor, leaving her in low cut panties that matched her bra. He dropped to his knees in front of her, putting him at eye level with her beautiful, rounded breasts.

His erection pulsed and throbbed, constrained against the inside of his cargo-pants. The urge to take her, to plunge deep inside her until they both exploded almost overwhelmed him. But he’d wanted Zahli since the moment he’d seen her back on Erebus and had resisted this long. He didn’t intend to waste a minute. He’d make the most out of every stolen, fleeting moment, taking and giving pleasure until they both went over the edge.

He flicked the clasp on her bra, gliding the straps from her shoulders down her arms to her wrists. He caught Zahli’s gaze, sending her a wicked smile as he wound the scrap of material until it tightened, binding her wrists, trapping her arms back and thrusting her breasts out in a decadent display for him.

As he let his hands travel to rest against the arch of her lower back, his lips touched the side of her breast, knowing what she wanted, what they both wanted, but drawing out the torture a moment longer. Placing short, hot, open mouth kisses over her flushed skin, he at last closed his lips over her taut nipple, catching her harder against him as a shudder ripped through her entire body.

While he laved his tongue over one nipple, before giving the other equal attention, his hands smoothed over her skin, following the curve of her waist, the jut of her hips, to the turn of her upper thighs. He wrapped his fingers into the soft flesh and urged her legs apart. From the bottom point of the star she wore on her necklace, he trailed a hand down between her breasts, over her rounded stomach, past her navel to the top of her panties. She moaned his name as he skimmed a light touch over her pubic bone and down to the only place he wanted to end up.

He hooked his fingers into the elastic edge and sent her underwear the same way her pants had gone then ran his mouth across her breasts to the center of her chest, kissing her in the same places he’d touched moments ago, moving inevitably downward. She twisted against her restraints, her breath shorter and shorter, body undulating beneath him, and he couldn’t tell if she was trying to get away or get closer.

She tried to close her legs as he got lower, but he braced a shoulder against her knee, stopping the action. Though he hadn’t completed his journey, he could already taste her, could imagine her coming apart under the insistent stroke of his tongue.

“Tannin, no… no. I want you.” Her words made him pause and he looked up at her. She tugged against the bindings again, her gaze intense on him. “I want you.”

He stood with one swift movement, pulling the bra from around her hands and tossing it. There was no way to resist her plea, not when she looked at him like that, like she—

His mind stumbled over the idea of her caring for him like no one else ever had, but then all thought fled as she unfastened his pants and gripped the aching length of him, freeing his erection. He found her waist again and sunk his fingers into her supple skin, pulling her forward as he angled her hips against his cock.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he caught her mouth in another breath-stealing kiss, blood pumping through his body so hard it almost hurt. His erection slid against her wet, heated center, almost sending him over the edge. He slammed a hand down against the cot, closing his fist hard around the edge of the thin mattress, striving to keep control, even as she shoved him farther toward oblivion with her light fingers and enticing mouth.

With a slight tilt of her hips and a rolling movement toward him, he pushed against her. They were joined. He’d at last fallen deep within her.

She moaned his name again, stretching herself like a bowstring against him. All the plans he’d had of savoring the moment came to nothing as pleasure hummed through his veins like a thousand watts of electricity. With a growl, he pinned Zahli down against the bed, his teeth scraping over her nipple, sending another shuddering wave through her. His control had gone, leaving him defenseless against the onslaught of untamed lust and passion storming, thunder rising within him. He had no finesse or poise as he stroked her, he could only count the fractions of seconds as they built an atomic bomb within him, hurtling him towards the inevitable explosion.

Zahli’s fingers dug into his shoulders as she went taut and arched up toward him, his name a litany and a moan.

And that was the end of him. He thrust hard once more as the very atmosphere exploded around him, stealing his breath and stopping his heart. Dropping his head against her breasts, he shuddered at the aftershocks of fine pleasure as they ebbed away, leaving him drained and languid.

Zahli wrapped her arms around him, breathing out a quiet sigh. He agreed with her unspoken sentiment. God, he’d needed her. And it’d been so damn good. Relief and contentment created a curious mix with the yearning to start all over again. But not now. Not when the chances of getting caught increased with every second they were here naked. He shifted, his belt buckle clinking against the rail of the cot. Well,
almost
naked. Christ, he hadn’t even managed to get his boots or pants off.

He looked up at Zahli’s gorgeous, expressive features. Her eyes were closed and the bright, medbay lighting caught every one of those adorable freckles. Shifting upwards, he kissed the bridge of her nose and then nuzzled against her neck, intense emotion battering him, emotions he didn’t want to think about right now. Particularly considering their brief interlude was over.

“We’d better get dressed before someone comes looking for us.” Zahli added another sigh to the end of her words, this one despondent. “I hate to see what Rian would do to you if he caught us like this.”

Now the mind-altering flush of passion had passed, her words brought a trickle of alarm. Sherron was already pissed at him. If the captain found him here with Zahli naked beneath him, he probably wouldn’t be coming back from whatever wound the man chose to inflict.

Tannin stole one more slow, burning kiss then moved off her. They helped each other dress with a few quiet laughs, especially when it took them a few minutes to find her bra. His shirt ended up being a lost cause. He had no way to refasten it with so many missing studs.

At the doorway, Zahli leaned against the bulkhead, watching him with a lethargic, sexy gaze as he worked to put the micro-crystal components back into place and refit the display.

“What about that?” She nodded to where his top gaped open all the way to his stomach.

He shrugged, unable to stop the grin tugging at his lips. “I’ll just have to hope I don’t see anyone between here and my quarters. If I do, I’ll pretend I got attacked by another Reidar who’d been hiding onboard.”

“Who wanted to do what, strip you naked and have his wicked way with you?”

He made a face at the mental image she’d created, making her laugh.

“Thanks. Now instead of dreaming of you tonight, I’ll be having nightmares about that.”

The doors slid open to an empty passageway. Knowing he was pushing his luck, but not caring when he felt so high, he pulled her in for one more soul-searing kiss before releasing her and jogging along the corridor to the stairs. He glanced back over his shoulder as he reached the top step to see her still standing where he’d left her, looking a little dazed.

Shaking his head, because the craving to take her again had started to creep into the edges of his common sense, he tore his gaze from her and continued to his cabin. Luck stayed with him and he got there without seeing anyone. He tossed the damaged shirt in a corner and pulled a new one from the few hanging in his locker.

He didn’t care about her brother’s rules, didn’t care what Sherron thought was best for them all. What he had with Zahli went deeper than a fling or casual relationship. Eventually he’d have to broach the subject with their captain, because sneaking around might be well and good for now, but it couldn’t last forever. He wanted a place on the crew, but had come to realize he wanted Zahli even more than that. And to be totally selfish, truthfully he wanted both.

Once he got the new shirt fastened, Tannin checked his appearance in the privy mirror. Yep. Sex-hair. He ran his fingers through it a few times, but short of having a shower and starting all over again, his attempts didn’t make much difference.