Assassin Treasure (Assassins Book 4) (18 page)

“Dirk, wait.”

“You said you wanted this. Have you changed your mind? If you want me to stop say it now. Tell me. Do you want this? Do you want to have sex with me?” he demanded.

“Yes, I do but...”

That was enough for Dirk. “No buts. I’m not in the mood to use fighting as foreplay, and I sure as hell don’t like to be teased.”

She begged him to wait, to listen, instead he pulled up on one slender knee, stopping her resistance, and he positioned himself and plunged his full engorged length into her depths, instead of taking her slowly as promised.

Candy screamed in agony. Her breath then caught and held, she gasped pitifully, her eyes widened, centring onto him in pained, panicked,
terrified,
surprise. Dirk stilled immediately. She was too tight, too dry; she wasn’t at all ready for him and he wasn’t ready for a revelation that floored him.

“Holy shit, Candy, why didn’t you tell me?” Dirk said unbelievably.

“I tried,” she sobbed, her voice growing hysterical. “You promised you would be gentle. I thought you would go slower. I’ve never been with a man. I wasn’t ready for you.”

Dirk pulled from within her while Candy cried beneath him. Her eyes were filled with accusation. He rose quickly and headed for the washroom.

“Damn,” he hissed. His cock was covered in her blood.

Filled with concern, he returned just as quickly with a warm wet cloth. Candy pulled away from him into a tight ball.

“Candy, let me look,” Dirk pleaded.

“No, you’ll hurt me again,” she cried. “Go away, go away.”

“I won’t go away. I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t know. I thought you were teasing. I swear on my life, Candy, I wouldn’t have done it like that if I’d known,” Dirk said raggedly.

“I hurt,” she wept, her hands covered over her face.

Dirk felt a dagger run through his chest with her pain, pain he’d caused. He ran a quick hand over his face. He couldn’t get Carrie, she was on complete bed rest; only men were staying in the home.

“Candy, let me help you, please. Honey, the only other ones are my father, Tyr and Wolf. If you won’t let me help you, then I’ll get one of them. Please let me help you.”

Candy’s sobs were subsiding. Her tortured breathing slowed. She turned to look at him and he could see she knew then how sorry he was. To offer to get his archenemy for her well-being killed his pride, but he was more concerned for her. Jaw quivering, she shifted, her movements stiff, to lie on her back. She stared up at the ceiling while Dirk wiped at her with tender caution. Her bleeding had stopped, she was swollen and red, but the tear was minimal. He hadn’t caused irreversible damage to her physically, but he knew her emotional and mental state were in jeopardy.

“Why, why didn’t you say something sooner, sweetheart?”

“You wouldn’t have cared,” she said without emotion, her gaze still to the ceiling.

“That’s not true. I would’ve waited until you were ready. I would’ve gone slower and with more patience. Please believe me. Your innocence was a gift that should have been treasured not taken. When you said yes…Fuck, Candy, you should have said no. I would’ve stopped and you could’ve explained.”

“So, it’s my fault. You promised you wouldn’t hurt me. I trusted you. You lied.”

“No, it’s not your fault; it’s mine. Sweetheart, the blame is all on me. I didn’t listen when I should’ve. Candy, I’m so sorry.”

“When I was at my graduation years ago, my date got drunk. He tried to assault me. But he’d had too much to drink and was unsteady on his feet; I was able to get away. I stayed away from men after that. Then Tyler tried, and Damien stopped him, now you...”

“No, Candy, please don’t group me with them, please. You wanted a baby; I wanted you. I asked if it was what you wanted. I would’ve stopped, I swear it. One little word, I swear I would’ve listened to that one little word,” Dirk said in agony. He couldn’t stand where her thoughts were headed. Dirk thought his heart was dead; it wasn’t when it pained so badly.

“I want my baby, someone who will love me. I need someone; I’m so tired of the loneliness. I need something other than pain,” Candy said.

She pulled on his arms attempting to draw him on top of her. For the want of someone to love, in her devastation, he knew Candy decided the pain would be worth it. It would appear her emotions hurt as much as her insides must.

“Please,” she begged. “No more loneliness, Dirk. Give me someone to love.”

Dirk crawled into bed beside her, pulling her close. “Go to sleep, sweetheart. We need to wait until you’ve healed. I won’t do that again. I’m so sorry I broke my promise to you. Please forgive me.”

With a heavy heart Dirk buried his head into her hair while she cried holding him and shed his own tears. It had been a long time since Dirk had been moved to tears. He had callously stolen her innocence, hurting her, injuring her…again. Wolf had been right. He was worse than Tyr, and because he loathed Tyr, he couldn’t help but hate and condemn himself more violently. Perhaps he
was
evil.

Dirk knew James was the first to notice something was wrong by the way his father kept periodically glancing at him. It wasn’t a surprise to Dirk, his father always noticed everything, and he wasn’t in the mood to try and put on an air of nonchalance. Four men were gathered together, seated at a long dining room table for breakfast. Dirk, Wolf, Tyr and his father. Carrie was sleeping and Dirk explained to all Candy’s absence, stating she wasn’t feeling well. Tyr grew belligerent, complaining loudly she had exposed his children to some noxious disease and Samantha couldn’t withstand much more.

Dirk sensed Tyr was aware of his fondness and over-protectiveness for Carrie’s infant daughter. After almost losing his precious child Tyr was just as protective, though his son-in-law originally coveted a son, he was understandably obsessed with the well-being of both children. Dirk knew it also presented an opportunity for Tyr to rankle him. Dirk wouldn’t rise to the bait. He was uninterested in foolish games. Instead, Dirk quietly explained it was a woman’s thing that ailed Candy and the babies were in no danger; Sammy would be fine.

Picking at his food, Dirk was lost in thought. Candy had cried all night in his arms, finally turning to him, needing someone to comfort her even if it was only him; she had no one or nothing else. The thought sickened Dirk. He was wondering if Carrie had cried in Tyr’s arms the same way, in pain and afraid. The thought made him shudder, he loathed himself further. Carrie insisted she wanted Tyr. He hadn’t forced her, she loved him. Dirk was the evil one, he felt himself pale at the thought. Candy held no love for him, her fear had returned with a vengeance.

“Dirk, are you feeling all right?” James asked.

“No.”

“Great, you’re sick, too? Or is it a woman’s ailment like Candy’s? Keep your damned distance from Carrie, she’s tired enough as it is,” Tyr snapped.

“Fine,” Dirk replied absently, staring into the bottom of his empty coffee cup.

All three of the men’s gazes shot up in surprise. An irate Dirk should have been swinging by now at Tyr’s taunts. He sat complacent, unmoved.

“Perhaps you need to see the doctor,” James said.

Everyone knew nothing short of death would keep Dirk from his child’s side. He would wear a suit of sterile armor if need be, boil himself in water to eradicate germs. All sat with mounting concern.

“I’ll be fine, Dad,” Dirk said, rising stiffly, leaving his breakfast untouched. He ambled off, head low and headed for the garden to think.

It wasn’t long before Wolf joined him. Wolf, though annoyed with Dirk, was a friend. Dirk wasn’t surprised he’d followed him.

Dirk sat at the edge of a large fountain. Wolf sat beside him. Dirk hazarded a mournful look in his direction. “You were right, I am worse than your brother.”

“What happened?” Wolf asked.

“Candy wanted a baby. She was so enthralled with Carrie’s. I thought if it would make her happy, I wouldn’t mind a baby. I’d be able to watch this one grow up. I missed out on so much with Carrie. I set out to be patient, gentle. I was too eager for her. I’d dreamed of taking her. I wanted her, I admit that. She’s so damned beautiful, so innocent…she
was
innocent,” Dirk’s voice trailed off.

“If she wanted a baby, she would understand what would need to be done,” Wolf said placing his hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Dirk shot to his feet.

“Yes, she would, but no she didn’t. She’s never had sex. She was a virgin, like Carrie had been. She wanted a baby, but she didn’t want me. Candy was scared, terrified, I thought she was playing with me, teasing me or being coy; she begged me to wait, to listen, but I didn’t listen. I took her without making her ready, or preparing her, I hurt her. Wolf, I hurt her again.”

Understanding lit Wolf’s eyes. “Is she all right?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

“Her body will heal. I stopped. Once I realized, I stopped, but it was too late. The damage has been done. She asked me for a baby again this morning because she doesn’t want to be alone and unloved. I only wanted to help her; why the hell do I keep hurting her? Am I angry that I promised to take care of her? I promised I would be gentle and I wasn’t. If I could break that promise so callously, why didn’t I just give her up to begin with? Why did I bring her back with me, am I evil? I don’t want to hurt her. I wanted her to want me. When I thought she didn’t want me, I felt angry with her...hurt, like I did with Carrie’s mother. I’m no adolescent anymore. Damn it, what the hell is wrong with me? I don’t know why she makes me feel this way.”

“Sometimes things aren’t always so black and white.” Came a deep voice from behind them. Tyr stood a short distance away. He approached the pair with some hesitancy.

“Sometimes they are, and people refuse to see it,” Dirk said with sadness, it was his way of offering his son-in-law an apology. “Carrie loves you, Tyr. When she looks at you, I can see her happiness. I had only just found her and was forced to share her again…with you. I was so angry with you. After what you had done, and she still claimed to love you. I was certain she was misguided. I was so terribly jealous. Now I have not only Carrie but two beautiful grandchildren. I want to thank you for them.”

Dirk was earnest.

“Dirk, what’s done is done. You can’t change the past, but you can offer Candy the kindness she so desperately needs. You coaxed her from her mind, coax her from her despair,” Wolf said.

“How?” Dirk asked, frustrated. Candy looked so alone, so defeated when he left her.

“She’s your wife. If you loved her, what would you be doing right now with her?” Wolf asked.

“We’d be on our honeymoon getting better acquainted, learning more about each other, away from everyone,” Dirk said, his erratic pacing that had begun stopped. He looked at Wolf with a sudden idea, his eyes widening, he needed to be alone with Candy, yet he didn’t want to be too far from his daughter. He had no safe houses of his own in the immediate vicinity; a hotel wouldn’t be safe enough. “Do you suppose while Casey and Rhea are away and you’re visiting here I could impose upon you and borrow your home for a week?”

Wolf offered him the wolfish grin he was famous for. “That sounds like a brilliant idea.” Dirk clasped his hand in gratitude and hurried off, already planning.

* * * *

Candy gazed about in trepidation. When Dirk entered their room after breakfast that morning he seemed changed. She wasn’t certain if she liked his new attitude. He rushed about like a man possessed, throwing clothing, his and hers, into a suitcase. Candy watched him with a feeling of dread. He was taking her away, she had been certain; her fear of the unknown was palpable. Dirk bundled her and the suitcases into a dark car and sped off. Candy told him she wouldn’t refuse him. She would obey him. But she could see Dirk wasn’t paying her any attention. His mind was decidedly on other thoughts. After a while, she stopped talking. The countryside flew by with the miles, and they drove for hours.

When they arrived at a large, beautiful, secluded home high on a hill, Dirk ushered her in without so much as a word. Candy looked about wondering if this was to be her new home.

“Dirk?”

Dirk dropped the suitcases suddenly and scooped Candy up into his arms. She cowered against him, wondering what he was about to do. He exited the house and then re-entered holding her snugly to his chest. He grandly set her back onto her feet with a wide smile, as though he’d remembered something important. Candy gazed at him in confusion.

“Dirk?” she asked again.

“I never gave you a honeymoon. Later on we’ll go somewhere exotic, but for now I don’t want to be too far from Carrie, just in case she needs me,” Dirk said by way of an explanation.

Candy knew he meant she would be traveling nowhere until he was certain she wouldn’t talk or run from him; he was still concerned with the threat she posed. The thought saddened her. She would do nothing to harm the twins or Carrie. There was no safe place she could run to. The Darrens would track her down. She didn’t understand why Dirk didn’t see this. Only now, he was simply being ridiculous.

“Dirk, our marriage is a farce, I don’t need a honeymoon,” Candy said.

“Well, we could both use a break away from other people,” Dirk offered brightly.

“What do you want from me?” Candy asked, feeling defeated. She was tired, tired of second guessing him. Her husband was an enigma wrapped in a huge question mark as far as she was concerned.

Dirk took her into his arms; she cringed, but he wouldn’t allow her to hide from him. His hand cupped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze.

“I want you to stop being so damned scared of me. I want you to welcome my touch instead of cowering from me. I’m sorry I keep hurting you. Whether you believe me or not, I don’t want you to be afraid of me. You’re my wife. I know that thought makes you so upset at times you look like you want to puke. Even if we never love one another, we can still have fondness for each other. Maybe you could even learn to like me, even a little. I like you.”

“How?” Candy said, doubting that was even possible under the circumstances. How was she to like him? She wasn’t altogether certain he liked her.