Arranged (18 page)

Brendan taps me on shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

I stuff the invitation away and wipe my eyes. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Brendan walks me back to campus and we say goodbye. He smiles one last time before striding away into the night.

“No matter what you think about yourself, you’re a really great person, Rose. I hope that guy deserves you.”

As pathetic as it was, a few weeks ago seeing Lee’s cold, unresponsive expression directed at me would make me cry myself to sleep. But not anymore. I suck it up. I stare at the invitation on my bedside table and try to smile. He wants me there. So I’ll go. I have to tell him how I feel, and apologize, even if he hates me. Even if it’s the last time we ever talk, I need to say what’s in my heart.

I’m glad he’s giving me one last chance. It’s all I need.

It’s all I can have.

It’s all I deserve.

~~~

Jen’s band got second place.

She’s not down about it, though. The first three places get to send their demo into a recording company downtown, so she’s working hard and excited and flustered and in love. With Grace. It’s so easy to tell by the way she smiles and gives me affectionate noogies with every other sentence. I’m happy for her. She deserves to be happy.

Me? Not so much.

I call Brett and apologize. He apologizes too, for taking the bribe. I ask him what the bribe was for, this time, and he says it was to lie about the timeframe.

“Three months,” Brett says. “Farlon bribed me to lie and replace your letter with a copy that said the required time to get the money was three months. The original is one month.”

“Why would he want that?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe he thought you’d agree if it was a longer timeframe, rather than a shotgun wedding . After one month passed, the money would be transferred.”

“No,” I say slowly as it dawns on me. “He didn’t make you change it to three for
me
. He did it for Lee - so Lee would think he knew when the money was coming. Lee thinks it’s three months, but it’s really just one, and Farlon gets his mitts on the money and Lee is none the wiser as he waits for the remaining two months to be up.”

“That makes sense,” Brett agrees. “He did strike me as the type of man to be concerned with money.”

“He has loan sharks after him.”

Brett makes a little ‘aha’ noise. “I’m sorry again, Rose. I –”

“It’s okay, really. I jumped to conclusions and it’s landed me in a hot mess and I’m learning my lesson. Thanks for not hating me for it.”

“Nonsense. Your grandpa would be proud, Rose. You’ve grown into a fine young woman with a good head on your shoulders.”

I chew my lip, thinking. “You were friends with Grandpa, right?”

“In a way, yeah.”

“Did he ever talk about a doctor? Not in a hospital, but like a home visit type of guy.”

“I don’t know, but he mentioned seeing a Doc Tanner for his arthritis a couple times. Does that help at all?”

I smile. “Yeah. A lot. Thanks.”

I do a little Google searching and come up with a Doctor M. Tanner living about two miles from Grandpa’s house. That must be him. I call the number and a scratchy voice answers.

“Doctor Tanner’s office, how can I help you?”

“Hi, Doctor. You don’t know me. But you knew my grandfather – James Jensen.”

“He’ll be missed,” The Doctor says after a tired sigh. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks. I was just calling to ask about something that happened a long time ago. Grandpa brought me in to you.”

“That he did. Little girl with head trauma. The boy with James wouldn’t stop crying until I gave him a lollipop.”

“That little girl was me.”

“Was it? It’s good to speak to you again, then.”

“I…the amnesia I got from that accident. I just learned about it a few weeks ago. I guess…I guess I just wanted to see if you were real. If what happened was real.”

“I can assure you it was. You came with a head injury. Scalp injury, to be precise. Pretty common among kids. You had bad bruising and a big gash, and the impact jolted your brain around a bit. I was worried about vessel tearing, but you didn’t get any of that. I kept you overnight for observation.”

“So, my amnesia –”

“It’s not strictly amnesia.” I can hear the frown in his voice. “Amnesia induced by head injury doesn’t last for years. I’m no psychologist, but I’m a pediatrician. Sometimes when something painful and bad happens to a kid, they block it out so well they can’t remember it when they grow up.”

“You think I blocked it out?”

“Oh yeah. Scary struggle in a creek and a fall like that? I’d block it out, too. You were a brave trooper. Never once complained about the stitches or anything.”

“Grandpa kept it from my parents.”

“I imagine he might have. He was worried about your mother finding out in particular. Strained family relationships and all that. But he’s gone now. Don’t think it’s much of an issue anymore, is it?”

“No. You’re right,” I pause. “Thanks, Doctor.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Give your family my best wishes. James was a good friend of mine and it ticks me right off he beat me to the grave.”

I laugh an awkward half-laugh and say goodbye. When I hang up I feel light. Lighter than when Mom and Dad’s company was saved. Lee wasn’t lying. I should’ve tracked down Doctor Tanner a long time ago, or at least looked for evidence before I jumped to believe Kiera.

Kiera. I won’t be trusting her ever again, and I certainly won’t ever like her. She’s a flawless actress. I’d seen that. She fooled me once. But she’ll never fool me again.

On Friday, I take the bus up to Mom and Dad’s. We drive to Grandpa’s house together to see it one last time and clear out the final bit of junk from the garage before the new owners move in. Dad drives, Mom stares out the window at the passing fields, and Riley and I are in the backseat, him on his phone texting and me listening to music. We share a bag of gummi worms between us. Riley flicks one at my face every so often and I shove a few down his shirt in retaliation. Whoever attracts the attention of Mom and Dad by making noise or moving suddenly loses. It’s sort of a ritual car game for me and him. We’re too old to play it, but that’s never stopped us before.

While Mom and Dad are busy with the house, Riley and I visit the creek one last time. He skips a rock across the chilly water and sighs, breath puffing out as a white cloud.

“Lots of memories here.”

I nod. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and continues.

“It’s okay though. Leaving memories behind but keeping them inside is part of growing up, I guess.”

“When did you get so wise?” I quirk a brow. He chucks a pebble at me and I duck, laughing. There’s a nice silence as we take in the water and the forest and the way the black winter moss grows on the rocks.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight,” Riley says.

“Stress.” I shrug.

“I thought you’d be
less
stressed when Mom and Dad got bailed out,” He sighs. “Don’t tell me it’s about that boy.”

“I’m fine, Riles. Really. School’s been tough is all.”

“Whatever.” He pouts and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I can tell when you’re lying. You suck at it.”

“Just like you suck at being mature,” I singsong. Riley picks up a handful of pebbles and pelts them at me.

“What was that? Take it back!”

When he gets tired of throwing stuff at me, he leaves and tells me not to stay out too long because of the cold. I wave him off and walk downstream, to the small waterfall. To where I fell.

I never saw it in my dream. My dream just led me to the creek. Led me to Lee. But it couldn’t show me the creek, or Lee, or what really happened. I’d suppressed the accident – and the boy who caused it – deep down in my mind. I still don’t remember it. Maybe someday I will, but I’m not sure I
want
to relive it. Maybe I don’t need to remember it to believe it. It happened, whether I believe it or not. And all I can do now is move forward.

I need to have more faith. Faith in the past. Faith in myself. Faith in Lee.

I wonder how Lee felt – seeing me go over the edge. It scarred him, too. But he didn’t suppress it like I did. I wonder how Grandpa felt, running out to a crying Lee and seeing me bleeding over the rocks. They were both probably scared. Terrified beyond words. But Grandpa scooped me up and acted fast and in the right ways. He saved me.

I take out his letter from my pocket and read it again. It’s not forged, I know that now. How could I ever think that Grandpa’s warm words were forged? He wanted me to marry Lee. No – to
try
marrying Lee. Was it a way to make up for the fact I forgot him? Was Grandpa nudging me towards my repressed memories in the hopes Lee would bring them to light and let them free? Maybe he felt guilty about my accident until the very end. All the hugs and Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners – all the smiles and the way Grandpa would clasp my hand – were those all riddled with guilt?

Maybe. But in his eyes, love shone brighter.

I feel guilty now, too. Guilty I believed Kiera. Guilty I betrayed Lee. Guilty I wasn’t smart or secure enough to keep myself from hurting him. And for a while that guilt ate me alive. It’s still eating me. But that’s fine. I can withstand it – embrace it, even, as long as I know Lee is told how I feel. I can try to piece my shattered self together and try to move on as long as I tell him.

I fold the letter up and put it in my pocket, and skip one last stone on the creek’s surface.

“I’ll become stronger, Grandpa. For the people who love me. That’s what life is about, right?”

I laugh and muss my hair up.

“Quit talking to yourself, self.”

I pull my hood on and head back to the house. A black Jaguar is parked in the driveway – Mom and Dad and Riley and two other strange people gathered around it, talking. As I get closer I see one of the people is an older man – gray hair, small glasses, and dressed in a polo and slacks. His face is stern and frowny. The other person is a girl, my age or a little older, with bright blonde hair. She wears tight jeans and a fluffy faux-fur lined jacket. She turns to look at me and my insides freeze over.

Kiera.

“Hi, Rose!” She plasters on a pretty smile and waves. Mom looks between us.

“You two know each other?”

“We’ve seen each other on campus a few times.” She lies and smiles bigger.

“Kiera knows everyone. She’s got her nose in everyone’s business,” The gray-haired man sighs. Kiera slaps his arm.

“Daddy! And who taught me how to socialize? You!”

Mom laughs. Dad shoots me a weirded-out look and Riley mimics his face. Mom puts her arm around my shoulder and draws me into the circle.

“Rose, these are the new owners of the house. Kiera and Charlie Rothman.”

I don’t look Kiera in the eyes. I can’t. Not after what she did. But I can’t confront her like this – in front of my family – either. She knows that. I can see it in her little smiles. And a part of me is scared of her. Scared she manipulated me so easily. Scared that she might be able to do it again. So I can’t let her in. I can’t acknowledge her. Not even a little. I give her one curt nod, and that’s it.

Mom gives them the grand tour of the place. Riley bounces ahead with her and hangs on the stairs, the railings, the doors. He’s excited there’s a pretty girl. If only he knew. Dad lags behind with me and hugs my shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just…” Seeing Kiera in Grandpa’s house, knowing she’ll have the place where Lee and I first met, makes me sick to my stomach. “Seeing strangers in Grandpa’s house is bizarre.”

“I know how you feel. But it’s for the best this way. Your mother and I can’t afford to keep up the mortgage, not with the company recovering like it is.”

Charlie, Kiera’s father, has been staring at us intently. Mom shows Kiera the kitchen and they squeal together about the ‘french windows’, whatever those are. Charlie clears his throat.

“We’ll be remodeling the house. The basic frame is strong and suitable. We’re converting it into a nursing home for the elderly.”

“What about the garden?” I ask. For some reason, I’m not as afraid of Charlie as I am of Kiera, even if he is strict-looking.

“That will be kept and expanded. We’ll be hiring several gardeners to maintain the grounds. The sunflower fields in particular are a wonderful addition. Something about seeing sunflowers in full bloom brightens the soul.”

Dad agrees. And somewhere deep down, I do too.

“You have to take good care of it.” I frown. “This place was important to us. To Grandpa. If you don’t take care of it, I’ll never forgive you.”

The conviction in my words shocks even me. Charlie looks a little surprised, but smiles in a small, warm way.

“I promise you, young lady. This place will be well-used and well-loved.”

Kiera is staring at me. Her eyes flicker between her father’s smile and my face, and her own smile flashes sour for an instant.

We say our polite goodbyes in the driveway as darkness sets in. Riley and I stare out the back window of the car as Mom drives away. We watch the house until the top of its frosted roof disappears behind the trees, and we say goodbye to the memories we had there. Our childhoods.

Chapter Ten

In Which Lee Montenegro Gives Me One Last Dance

The invitation said black-tie attire. The only dress I have that’s even slightly suitable is the beautiful blue one Bianca gave me that day when I modeled. The dress sags slightly around the bust, but Selena insists I look ‘totally hot’. I can’t help but laugh gratefully. She’s been nothing but supportive and helpful these last few weeks.

I slip on a pair of heels and Selena offers to do my makeup. When she’s done with me, my lips are baby-pink and my eyes look bigger and lashier than ever.

“You’re a witch,” I whisper and lean in to look at my reflection closely. There’s not one zit showing. “You know how do to magic.”

Selena laughs. “As if! It’s called ‘putting-makeup-on-since-fifth-grade-and-spending-all-my-life-looking-fabulous’. Now get going! You’ve got a party to be sexy at.”

I slip my purse over my shoulder. “Thanks, Selena. For helping me. It means a lot.”