Aria (12 page)

“Bend your knees!” Sam shouted.

“Right.” Aiden’s back was killing him, but the sun felt good on his shoulders and the breeze off the water was warm.
“Pull it up slowly so that the water runs off as you pull. It’s easier without all the water to weigh it down.”
“Got it.” Aiden bent his knees and pulled, more deliberately this time, and the sail lifted out of the water. It immediately caught the wind, and the board began to move, picking up speed.
“That’s it!” Sam clapped his hands together. “Now grab the boom. No, not the mast, the boom!” He laughed and took off down the beach at a jog to keep up with Aiden as he moved over the water. “That’s it! You got it!”
Aiden grinned and turned to wave at Sam. The board shifted under his feet as the boom swung wide, and, as he caught Sam’s eye, he promptly lost his balance and fell into the water with a splash.
“You make it look so easy,” Aiden moaned as they lay on the beach an hour later, wrapped in a blanket, back in dry clothing. “I’m going to be sore for a week after that.”
“Next time, you won’t be half as sore.”
“
Next
time? You think there’s going to be a next time?” Aiden rubbed his aching shoulder and silently told himself that there
was
going to be a next time. Sure, they’d only seen each other three times since David’s party, but with each time they had spent together, his fear that Sam would disappear from his life again faded a bit more.
“Wimp! You just need to get the hang of pointing the sail.”
“I’d rather watch
you
sail it around.” Aiden rolled over and laid a sandy arm over Sam’s stomach. “Where’d you learn to sail like that?”
“My folks sent me to a sailing camp not too far from here. Bought my own rig when I was in high school. It was a piece of crap, but I didn’t care.”
“I’d’ve taken you more for the football type.”
“I played on the varsity team. Hated it with a passion. My dad played for Central too, when he was a kid. He didn’t give me a choice.”
“I tried out for the school team,” Aiden said. “They told me I wasn’t good enough. It’s why I ended up signing up for drama club. It was a good thing—I figured out I could act. The drama teacher got me an audition for the opera program at Indiana University.”
“How did you convince your parents to send you there? I thought they were against your singing?”
“I was eighteen, and IU offered me a full ride. My parents—my dad—never really forgave me for it.”
Sam planted a sloppy kiss on Aiden’s cheek. “Funny,” he said, pulling Aiden against him, “how we spend our lives trying to please our parents and never quite manage to succeed in their eyes.”
“I don’t know. Seems like you’ve done okay for yourself. Your dad’s a lawyer, right?”
“Yeah. But he wanted me to stay in Memphis.”
“Jaz says your firm’s one of the best in the Northeast for plaintiff’s employment law. Isn’t he happy with that?”
Sam sighed and held Aiden tighter. “It doesn’t work that way. It took my folks almost two years to forgive me for not coming home after law school. I’m not sure my dad’s ever forgiven me for not going to work for his firm. We’ve gotten to the point that we avoid talking about it.”
“Did they know about you and Nick?”
“I came out to them my first year of law school. They really liked Nicky. Even came to his funeral. We used to spend Thanksgivings with my folks and Christmas with his.”
Aiden had always assumed Sam’s background was the same as his—that Sam’s family either didn’t know he was gay or didn’t approve. “I thought your folks were Baptist.”
“Methodist. Not that it matters much. Our church was pretty conservative. But my dad’s from Michigan originally, so they were a little more open-minded.”
“My dad and I don’t get along. Last time I was home for Thanksgiving, we got into a huge fight. I haven’t been back since.”
He hadn’t planned on sharing that with Sam—he didn’t want Sam to think he was bitter—but he felt so comfortable talking like this. Still, he wasn’t exactly going to explain what he and his father had fought about, either. Maybe someday, but not now.
“Sorry.” Sam kissed Aiden’s cheek. “Sounds bad.”
“It’s okay. I had pretty much figured that once I’d settled in Europe, I wouldn’t see much of them.”
Sam seemed to consider this, then asked, “It’s not a problem, being openly bisexual? For your singing career?”
“Nah. Not really. I guess some folks have an issue with it, but there are so many gay men in the business…. It’s crazy, but the breakup with Cam mostly helped my career.”
“Must’ve been exciting, hanging out with royalty.”
Aiden sat up and looked down at Sam, making sure Sam could see he was dead serious. “No. It wasn’t. This—” He bent down to kiss Sam. “—is much better.” More than anything, he wanted Sam to understand that.
“I’m glad.” Sam smiled and Aiden knew he
had
understood.
“I’m done with that, Sam. I know we haven’t talked about it, but I’m not seeing anyone else. I don’t want to.” He realized that it sounded like he was asking the same of Sam, and he added quickly, “But I don’t… I mean, with all my traveling, I know I can’t expect the same from y—”
Sam kissed Aiden into silence. “What would you think about making Philly your home port?” Aiden wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. “You don’t have a place of your own right now, do you?”
“No. But—”
“I’d understand if you don’t want to. I’m probably rushing things. And it’s not like Philly is comparable to Paris or London.”
“It’s not that. It’s just… are you sure?” Was Sam asking him to move in with him? After Sam’s hesitation in Paris, Sam’s offer that he move to Philly was the last thing he was expecting.
Sam’s laugh was warm as he pulled Aiden on top of him. “Yes. I’m asking you to live with me—when you’re not working, that is. I’ve been thinking about this since New Year’s. You don’t have to commit to anything long-term. We can call it a trial run, if you’d like.”
Aiden forgot how to breathe. “I… yes.” He laughed too. “I’d love that.”
Their lips met in a tender kiss, and Aiden could see the truth in Sam’s eyes. Sam really wanted this.
And so do I.

Chapter 16

 

Philadelphia
July

A
IDEN returned to the States nearly three months later. He’d shipped a few things from David’s apartment, at Sam’s suggestion. David, of course, had wished him well and told him he always had a place to stay if he needed it.

Sam had depositions the day Aiden arrived from Italy, so Aiden took a cab from the airport and let himself into the apartment before Sam got home. It felt strange to think that he might call this place home. His last visit, he’d been a guest. But now….

Aiden set his suitcases down by the front door and walked across the living room to open the blinds on the sliding doors to the balcony. The late-July afternoon was warm, but there was a nice breeze, and he opened the glass doors. The sounds of traffic below felt familiar, comforting even. For a few minutes, Aiden looked out over the city, trying to get his bearings, more nervous than he ever remembered being about performing.

It’s more convenient like this
. Neither of them had confessed their love, although Aiden was pretty sure he already loved Sam. But this way they would have more time to explore the possibilities. It wasn’t like with Cam, Aiden reminded himself. They weren’t buying a house together or furnishing it. If Sam got tired of him, Aiden could just go back to Europe and move on.

Aiden wondered what Cam was up to. There had been a few more deliveries of flowers backstage at performances, but otherwise Aiden hadn’t heard from Cam since Paris. The press had let up on trying to get more details of that too-public confrontation, and Aiden was happy he didn’t have to work so hard to avoid them. Alexandria, too, seemed a thing of the past. There had been one very prominent article in one of the French magazines in which Alexandria’s husband had been photographed at his wife’s side, denying rumors of her involvement with Aiden. But the furor had died down, and Aiden was more than grateful.

Aiden’s cell phone buzzed, and he smiled when he saw the caller’s identity. “Hi, Sam.”
“Got in okay?” Sam sounded tired. Aiden guessed the depositions had been particularly grueling. He made a mental note to make some dinner for them after he’d showered and changed.
“About ten minutes ago. The doorman was fine. Told me he was happy to hear I was moving in and said I should ask him if I needed anything.”
“Great. I should be finished in about an hour. Make yourself at home.”
“Thanks, Sam. See you then.” Aiden tapped the phone and set it on the sleek glass table by the couch.
He liked this apartment, with its high-end Italian furniture and lighting. He liked the floor-to-ceiling windows of the living room and the way the diffuse sunlight seemed to dance over the walls and artwork. The place was so different from the Edwardian home he’d shared with Cam, and he was thankful for that. He needed a fresh start.
One of the clouds overhead shifted, and a brilliant ray of sunlight settled onto one of the abstract paintings on the wall. Nick’s paintings. Aiden walked over to that one and studied it for a moment, noticing the textured surface. The oil paints had dried in peaks and valleys, giving the painting a feeling of movement and life. Even with as little knowledge of art as he had, Aiden knew Nick had been supremely gifted. He wondered what Nick had been like.
I wonder what you’d think of me, Nick.
Aiden knew Nick had never lived in this apartment, and yet he could feel the man’s presence here as surely as if he had. It wasn’t only the paintings or the photographs of Nick and Sam that stood next to those of Sam’s family. He could sense Nick’s presence in Sam, and it frightened him. Or perhaps it wasn’t Nick’s presence, but his
absence
Aiden felt in Sam. Nick was there in the photographs and the paintings, and yet Sam had barely mentioned Nick since he’d told Aiden about him months ago.
“You need to be patient with him,” David told Aiden after he’d shared the news that he was moving in with Sam. “It takes time to let go.”
“It’s been seven years since Nick died.”
“You never forget the pain of losing someone you love. You simply move on and accept things. It’s even more difficult when you lose someone so young.”
“I understand.” Aiden’s words were whispered, almost reverent. How many times had he tried to put himself in Sam’s shoes and try to understand his pain? “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for him.”
“Talk to him about it. People are often afraid it will make things worse, but it doesn’t. He’ll want to talk about Nicholas. I myself wanted to speak of Helena after her death. I simply didn’t realize it until much later.”
Aiden had almost forgotten that David had been married to a woman. It was hard to think of David with anyone but his partner, Alex. Helena, like Nick, had died far too young.
“I’m so sorry, David. I forgot.”
“There’s no need to apologize. I’m happy to remember her now. But it wasn’t always that way for me. It takes time.”
Aiden picked up one of the photos of Sam with the smiling Nick. He recognized New York Harbor in the background and guessed it had been taken at Battery Park. He traced Sam’s strong jaw with his thumb and studied Nick’s eyes. Warm, full of life, loving. He could see it in the photograph, the love Nick had for Sam.
Aiden sighed. Of course he would give Sam time.

T
HE door to the apartment opened a little before seven and Sam walked in carrying a large paper bag, his briefcase slung over one shoulder.

“Welcome home!” Aiden took the bag from Sam and gave him a brief kiss.

 

The smell of Chinese food wafted into the apartment as Aiden set down the parcel on the table by the door.

 

“You cooked dinner?”

 

Aiden chuckled and shook his head. “I should have told you. I’m sorry, that was stupid of me.”

 

“No harm, no foul. Takeout Chinese tastes ten times better the next day, anyhow.”

“I’ll go put it in the fridge.” Aiden felt like a complete idiot. Of course he should have told Sam. What was he thinking? “The chicken will be done in about ten minutes, if you want to change. Or if you want to shower, I can turn down the temperature and—”

Sam kissed Aiden, lacing his arms around Aiden’s waist before Aiden could scoop up the Chinese food. It was an awkward gesture, but it took the edge off Aiden’s discomfort. “Damn, Aiden,” he said a moment later. “It’s so good to have you here.”

“It’s good to
be
here.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you at the airport.”

“I don’t mind. Besides, if I’m going to be living here, there’ll be plenty of times when you won’t be able to meet me. I don’t want you worrying about it.”

Sam’s smile was warm. “You’re right. It’s only that I wanted everything to be good for you.”

Aiden had been feeling as though he’d already managed to screw things up, but relaxed at these words. “It
is
good. I mean it. It’s funny, but coming here by myself today made it feel more like home. You know, using my own key to let myself in, cooking dinner.”

“I’m glad.”

 

The oven timer began to beep. “You go get comfortable,” Aiden said, picking up the takeout, “and I’ll get dinner on the table, okay?”

“Okay.” Sam kissed Aiden on the cheek and headed for the bedroom.
D
INNER was a resounding success. “This is so much better than Chinese,” Sam told Aiden. “I rarely have time to cook. I think I could get used to home-cooked meals after a long day at the office.”