Aperture on the East (29 page)

“
Ivan saved your life,”
said Mai. “The whole building was vacated. No one would have found
you till the storm was over. Who knows what would have happened to
you?”

Ana looked at Ivan gratefully. She
squeezed his hand, too, and said, “Are you still mad at
me?”

Ivan shook his head.

“
Ivan called everyone he
could find in the contacts of your phone, and I came as soon as I
heard,” said Mai.

Ana smiled and said, “How did you hack
into my phone?”

“
It was easy,” said Ivan.
He didn’t offer much more explanation.

Ana considered it for a second, and
then said, “So, did you call Mr. Nguyen, too?”

“
I did, but he didn’t pick
up. I left a message,” said Ivan.

“
Who is this Mr. Nguyen?”
said Mai.

“
Vo Nguyen, the one our
boss Mr. Tran was bragging about all the time. He was supposed to
get engaged to Miss Kim Pham, remember?” said Ana.

“
Oh, him. I didn’t know
he’s your friend,” said Mai.

“
He is more than a
friend,” said Ivan. Ana, feeling embarrassed, tugged at his
finger.

Mai’s eyes widened, and she said, “So
you were the reason the engagement didn’t go through that night?
You two were seeing each other?”

Ana looked away. “Yes,” said Ana. “But
anyway, I did something very awful. I don’t think he wants me
anymore. What’s the use? I’m an alcoholic. I’m not good enough for
him.”

“
You are not good enough
when you are drunk, but you are going to beat it this time. People
quit drinking all the time. You can do it, too,” said
Mai.

“
You don’t understand.
It’s in my blood,” said Ana. She was feeling hopeless.

“
Don’t let alcohol defeat
you. You are bigger than that,” said Mai.

Ana appreciated her friend’s
confidence, and smiled.

“
Ma, do it for me,” said
Ivan.

Ana looked at Ivan, and her eyes were
welling up.

“
Do it for Zoe. Do it for
us, Ma,” said Ivan.

Ana had quit drinking many times
before, but her sobriety never lasted long. One thing or another
always dragged her back deeper into the dungeon after she tried so
hard to climb out of it. It wasn’t that she never considered her
children; they were enough reason to motivate her. She just didn’t
know how to stay off alcohol for good.

“
Ivan is staying with me,
so you don’t have to worry about him,” said Mai. “Zoe will come and
stay with me, too, after the doctor releases her. She already
agreed. So you go on to the rehab center and take all the time you
need there. That place is expensive but they are taking you on as
charity, so make the best of it. Not many people get a chance like
that.”

Ana nodded her head. For some unclear
reason, she felt that she could really succeed this time. She was
more determined than ever before. She turned toward
Ivan.

“
I will do it for you,
Zoe, and myself, all of us,” said Ana. “I love you so much. I can’t
tell you how sorry I am. I have been a total failure. Will you
forgive me, and give me another chance to be the mother I am
supposed to be?”

Ivan threw himself in Ana’s arms,
sobbing.

“
Now that I know what’s
going on, I will keep an eye on you, too,” said Mai. “I just hope
that you don’t find me meddlesome. You can’t do this on your own.
You should have been honest about it from the beginning, and we can
all help you stay sober.”

“
I can’t just come out and
tell random strangers that I am alcoholic,” said Ana.

“
Why not?” said Mai.
“People will respect you for it, and not tempt you with alcohol
unknowingly. And if I had known this was the problem, I would have
made you get treatment when you started being late to work, instead
of waiting till you almost died.” She gave Ana a disapproving
look.

Ana was thankful for Mai’s candidness.
Mai had always been a straightforward, no-nonsense kind of friend.
Ana wished that she was as assertive and level-headed as Mai
was.

“
Yes, madam,” said Ana,
giving Mai a military salute, “I will not disappoint
you.”

They all broke into laughter when
someone knocked on the door. It was Zoe in a wheelchair. Tuan, in
plain clothes, was behind her.

“
Zoe,” said Ana,
smiling.

Zoe’s bandages had been removed,
leaving only a few staples on one side of the scalp where it was
shaved before the surgery. There were no tubes or wires. The
swelling on her face had largely resolved and the bruises had faded
into a greenish yellow with small blotches of brown. Tuan pushed
her toward Ana.

“
They won’t let me walk
yet, even though I have been pacing my room all morning. I am so
bored,” said Zoe.

Ana couldn’t help it. Strings of tears
rolled out of her eyes.

“
Don’t cry, Ma. I’m not
dead,” said Zoe.

Ana hadn’t heard Zoe called her “Ma”
in so long that she was tearing up even more. Zoe reached out to
grab Ana’s hand.

“
I guess we are even now,”
said Zoe. “We both nearly died. It’s a chance for us to start over.
If I promise to not be a troublemaker anymore, will you promise to
quit drinking for good?”

“
Yes, I will,” said Ana.
“But you are never a troublemaker. You are a victim of my failure
at being a mother. I am sorry.”

Zoe gave Ana a smile, too.

“
Officer Le told us what
you did to save the women kidnapped from Russia and all over
Southeast Asia. You are a real hero,” said Mai.

“
I played a very small
part. Tuan was the big shot,” said Zoe.

Tuan rubbed his head, and he said, “I
was also just doing my part. It was a collaborative effort among
many official and non-official individuals.”

“
Your future son-in-law is
very modest,” Mai said to Ana.

“
He’s not the future
son-in-law,” said Zoe. “We are just friends.”

Tuan nodded his head to show his
agreement, but he was blushing.

“
He acts like he’s her
boyfriend,” said Mai. “He stays up here all night every night, and
calls the nurse all the time for every little concern. Zoe’s nurse
told me all about it. When you were unconscious, Ana, the doctors
were giving him the report on Zoe.”

“
Well,” said Tuan,
“someone had to know what’s going on. Plus, I shared some blame for
Zoe’s condition.”

“
Thank you so much, Tuan,”
said Ana.

Ivan was the only one not smiling in
the room.

“
I’m going to take a walk.
I’ll be back,” said Ivan. He grabbed his skateboard, and left the
room.

Zoe bit her lower lip and said to Ana,
“Do you know about Sofia?”

“
Who’s that?” said
Ana.

Zoe let out a long sigh, and then she
began to fill Ana in on the state of Ivan’s fateful relationship
with Sofia.

When Ana got out of rehab a month
later, the fall term of school had started for Zoe and Ivan. Ana
was not able to pay for the tuition, but Ivan got a scholarship
somehow and the school agreed to let Ana pay for Zoe’s fees in
installments. Ana had a feeling that her luck was beginning to turn
in her favor. She stayed with Mai while her counselor at the rehab
center helped her find another apartment. The counselor found one,
and Ana’s family would be able to move in once Ana saved up enough
money for the security deposit and the first month’s
rent.

Ana was happy that Zoe decided to
actually attend classes now. Zoe still loved music, but she had
developed a new interest in the general direction of “helping
people” as she called it. She wasn’t sure what career path she
wanted to pursue yet. She was considering law enforcement,
healthcare, and social work. She even considered teaching, because
she thought that a better education would empower women and arm
them against predators. Psychology was another option, because if
Irisa had the counseling she needed after her husband died, she
might not have gotten so depressed and lost her job. In any case,
Zoe told Ana that she would finish high school and get a university
degree because most of the jobs she was contemplating required a
college diploma. She had a lot of catching up to do, but she was
determined to make it happen. During her free time, which was
preciously little now, she still got together with her friends to
play their favorite gothic metal songs. Ana was worried that the
volume of Zoe’s band practice would annoy Mai’s neighbors, but Zoe
had instituted a plan to win over the heart of everyone in the
apartment building. She helped take out the trash and do chores
here and there, even babysit for free. She also got her band to
play at all her neighbors’ special occasions without charging a
fee.

Ivan still cruised up and down the
beach promenade on his skateboard every afternoon, and Ana knew
that he was still hoping that Sofia would appear one day. Before he
went to bed every night, he would stare at the jar of seashells
that Sofia had left him, and it saddened Ana to see him so
miserable. He was able to focus on schoolwork, and still get top
grades, but Ana knew that he would not be able to get over Sofia
for a long time to come. She only had to look within herself for
confirmation. Vo was never too far from her thoughts,
either.

With the assistance of the counselor
at the rehab center, Ana was able to obtain a job at an electronics
store. She gave advice to customers shopping for cameras and
accessories, and was even allowed to display her photographs in the
store as advertisement. She talked her boss into hosting a weekly
photography workshop and that helped boost revenue tremendously as
the students invariably made more purchases afterward, in addition
to paying a fee for the class. Her boss was aware of her alcoholic
history, and he was entrusted by the rehab center with the task of
monitoring Ana for signs of relapse.

“
Ma, do you miss Mr.
Nguyen?” said Ivan one evening as he, Zoe and Ana were getting
ready for bed. The three of them were sharing a room in Mai’s
apartment. Ana and Zoe took the bed, and Ivan slept on the
floor.

“
I do. You too?” said
Ana.

“
I really wish he could be
my papa,” said Ivan.

“
It was too bad,” said
Zoe. “We can’t blame him for leaving. We were just too messed
up.”

“
To make up for it,” said
Ana, “I will work doubly hard as a mother. Deal?” She gave a bitter
smile.

Ivan shook his head and said, “You
still love him though, right?”

Ana didn’t answer.

“
That’s what I meant by
missing him,” said Ivan. He looked toward the jar of seashells on
his desk.

“
Don’t be so sentimental,”
said Zoe. “I know that you miss Sofia. It’s no use. She won’t come
back. Mr. Nguyen won’t, either. So it’s best if we just forget
about them and move on.”

“
It’s easy for you to
say,” said Ivan. “You got Tuan, so you don’t care if the rest of
the world is heartbroken.”

“
For the thousandth time,
Tuan is not my boyfriend,” said Zoe. She sounded
annoyed.

“
Whatever,” said
Ivan.

The conversation ended, and Ivan and
Zoe fell asleep without any more fuss. Ana lay awake, staring at
the ceiling. She still wore the necklace that Vo had given her. She
felt for the pearl, the one she and Vo found on that remote island.
It felt so distant, like a century ago, but at the same time as
fresh as yesterday. As much as the memories pained her, she refused
to part with the pearl. The tears streamed down her face
silently.

When Ana got off from work, she would
take a walk on the beach. She always hesitated when she was about
to come across the Sailing Club. She worried that Vo might get
angry if he saw her. But in the end she always walked by it anyway,
slowly and purposefully, with the dim hope of catching a glance of
Vo. She thought about how embarrassed it would be if people caught
her stalking. This behavior could not be healthy, but she gave in
to this obsession, telling herself that it was all right since she
had to replace the drinking habit with something else.

The day that Ana was to move into her
new apartment, Mai came home with some news.

“
Mr. Tran is closing the
restaurant for a few days so he can go to a wedding in America,”
said Mai. “I asked him who was getting married, and he said it was
Miss Kim Pham, the daughter of his number one investor. He told me
that Mr. Vo Nguyen already left with Miss Kim for America to get
ready for the wedding.” She stopped to catch a breath.

Ana was shocked to hear it. She felt
the blood rush out of her head, and dropped a box of books on the
floor. The books bounced out of the box and scattered.

Zoe held on to Ana. Ivan got down on
his knees to collect the books and put them back in the
box.

“
The wedding is going to
be next Sunday,” said Mai. “I am off all week next week, and a few
more days after that. Mr. Tran said that he was going to have a
vacation in America, too, since he had never been there
before.”