Another Me (16 page)

E
lena and I stared at each other unhappily when the door closed behind them.

“Why did you send him away?” she cried.

“I did the right thing, Elena. You must accept that.”

She stared at the rosy sky through the window for a long time, then finally said. “Yes, you're right. He'll be happy with Meyer and his wife, but I'll miss him.”

“So will I.”

She met my gaze. “What's the matter? You seem preoccupied. Is there something more you're keeping from me?”

I busied myself with throwing a log on the hearth and pretended not to hear her question.

I wondered if she realized how dear she was to me? How a movement of her hands, a smile on her lips,
a turn of her cheek spoke to me? But this wasn't the time to tell her.

“Let's go for a walk. It'll clear my head,” I said.

“But Kaspar—”

“Let's forget about him for once.”

She looked puzzled but draped her cloak around her shoulders without any more questions and we set out. The rays of the rising sun turned the world into a pink wonderland. It was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen, so fresh and full of promise.

We headed toward the River Ill. As we walked along the bank, I noticed that the ice over the water was beginning to melt. A few green leaves were thrusting their heads out of the snow along our path. Spring was in the air. I parted the bulrushes and we sat down on the same boulder we had occupied on the day of the town fair. I took her into my arms. The scent of her made the blood pound in my veins. She rested her head on my shoulders. I felt more alive than ever before. Suddenly, I knew what I had to say.

“I must leave you now, my love. My work is done. I will love you to eternity. Good-bye.”

I pulled her closer until there was nothing else except our two bodies pressed together and our two hearts beating as one. I kissed her. The next moment, the world became brighter than the sun. Fire ran
through my body and I had to let her go. My arms felt empty. I was in a tunnel, running toward a light so bright that I had to close my eyes. When I opened them again, I was home.

I
t broke my heart to allow Shmuli to leave, but it wasn't up to me to decide his fate. Natan was his brother, and when I saw the dear little boy with Meyer and his wife, I had to confess that he'd made the right decision. This was what his parents would have wanted for Shmuli.

But I sensed that Natan was holding something back from me. It made me feel embarrassed when he looked at me as if I were the most precious object he had ever beheld. It was the same way I used to look at him…before.

We went to the riverbank, and everything was so crisp and new. Then he pulled me close and kissed me, and it all fell into place. All that mattered was for us to be together. The memory of the curly-haired
boy who had captured my heart became just that—a memory. I turned toward him to confess my love, but before I could utter a single word, there was an unbearable brightness and my arms were empty.

Suddenly, it was Hans who was sitting next to me on the boulder. When I gazed into his eyes, I knew with absolute certainty that I was looking at my father's journeyman. My Natan was gone and he had left me behind.

“I'm tired,” Hans yawned, running his fingers through his limp hair. “My head aches.”

“I hope that you're not sickening with the Great Pestilence.”

“The plague is in Strasbourg?” His voice was full of fear.

I swallowed hard. “Yes, my papa is gone.”

He grasped my fingers. “He is?! But you must miss him so much!” He blinked and I saw that there were tears glistening in his eyes. “I'll miss him too. He was a fair master and a good man.” His words brought back memories of Natan. “I'll do anything I can to help you, Elena. Just tell me what you need.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

He leaned closer. “It's odd,” he said, scratching his head. “I feel as if I've been on a long journey, yet I have no memories of what I've seen.” He stood up. “I know it's nonsense. I must have been here with you the whole time?”

“Yes, you were.”

He gave a sigh of relief and extended his hand to pull me up. “Just as I thought,” he said. “Let's go home.”

We returned to my father's house. As the days melted into nights, I sat by the hearth, waiting for the world to end as the plague raged outside my door. And yet I barely noticed the death surrounding me, for my mind was full of him. How I wished to tell him that he made the blood pound in my veins. How I wished to tell him that I could barely remember how he looked when we first met. How I wished to tell him that when I thought of his marked face and lank hair, my heart sang for him. Just like before.

T
he world did not end. Time passed and the Great Pestilence left Strasbourg. Then it came back again and again, until finally it was gone for a long, long time. Those of us who survived began to rebuild our lives. I opened Papa's shop with the help of Hans. He kept on asking me to marry him, but I always refused. It wouldn't have been fair to him, not with my heart given to another.

The plague did not discriminate. It visited everyone, both the good and the wicked. Vera had joined the angels with her sister. Even Kaspar had to face his maker before he found me.

After a while, we began to live normal lives. Sometimes, late at night, I felt that my beloved was
lying by my side. But when I stretched out my arm toward him, there was no one there. I never saw Natan again, except in my dreams.

Another Me
is a work of fiction, but it's based on a true historical event. During the Middle Ages, the bubonic plague raged through Europe, killing half the population. In 1349, Jews living in the Free Imperial City of Strasbourg were accused of poisoning the town wells to cause an outbreak of this plague, which is also known as the Black Death or the Great Pestilence. This was an obvious lie, but many citizens believed it and others seized on it as an excuse to do harm.

On February 14, 1349, the two thousand Jewish inhabitants of Strasbourg were led to their deaths in the Jewish cemetery by Peter Schwarber, the city's former Ammeister. They were burned alive on large wooden platforms that had been erected over the graves, just as depicted in the novel. But despite this supposed precaution, the plague still arrived in Strasbourg, where it took a terrible toll. Historical documents vary about the date the disease first appeared in the city.

Both Jews and Christians fell victim to the plague, although it is true that there were far fewer Jewish deaths. We know now that the plague was spread by fleas hosting
on infected rats. When the rats died, the fleas looked for new hosts, including people. Observant Jews—who must wash their hands upon arising, before eating bread and before prayer—lived under more sanitary conditions that were less favorable to the spread of this horrendous disease.

As portrayed in the novel, the synagogue of Strasbourg was pillaged. Among other items, the looters found a ram's horn, or
shofar
, used in synagogue services such as the High Holidays in the fall. The people of Strasbourg erroneously believed that the Jews intended to betray the city by signaling their allies outside the town walls. All remaining Jews were banished from Strasbourg.

The city fathers ordered two copies of this ram's horn to be cast in bronze. One of them, the Grusselhorn, was sounded every evening at eight o'clock to warn any Jews still inside the walls of Strasbourg to leave the city. The second horn was sounded at midnight to remind people of the supposed Jewish plot that was averted on February 14, 1349. By 1368, however, some Jews had returned to Strasbourg. More and more went back to their city, until another banishment edict was issued in 1388.

Except for Peter Schwarber, all the characters in my novel are figments of my imagination. Was there really an
ibbur
called Natan who lived in Strasbourg during these terrible times and loved a girl called Elena? That is for you to decide.