And Those Who Trespass Against Us (20 page)

Despite her attempts to concentrate on her lessons, Mary's words relentlessly circled her mind like carrion to prey, and her thoughts dwelled on her own shocked refusal at the mere mention of such actions between two women. What concerned her more was the unfamiliar emotion Mary had evoked in her, one she also felt with Catriona. Shaking her head, she put down her pencil, placed a lit lamp centrally on the kitchen table, and retired to her room.

CATRIONA DREW THE curtains and raised the wick of the lamp on the occasional table between her and Alexander. She picked up her drink, very much aware she'd dispensed with water for her brother some hours ago. She looked at his red-rimmed eyes. "Do you remember when Coreen first arrived?"

"Like it were only yesterday." He wiped his nose. "She tried to get back in the carriage as the train pulled away from the station. I thought she was going to fall between the tracks." He took a long draught from his drink and searched the room, as if hoping to see her standing there. "I'll never forget that day we were both in the store and she stood her ground with the ladies over their spiteful words about me." He sighed heavily. "That was when I realised I loved her."

Catriona reached across and softly stroked his hand. "She loved you too, with all her heart."

He covered his face in his hands. "Oh Christ, Cat, what am I going to do?"

Catriona's eyes watered and she hugged him. "I don't know, Alex, I just don't know." She shed tears not only for Coreen but for Alexander also. He was more than her brother. He was the best male friend she'd ever had. He never lectured her on her lifestyle. After his initial comments regarding her unmarried state were met with stubborn silence, he had never pressed the issue.

As the shadows lengthened, his voice became more slurred and the pauses between his words increasingly prolonged. Finally the rise and fall of his chest and his closed eyes signaled he was asleep. She shook her head and fought to keep her eyes open. "We better get you into bed." She steadied herself, bent over him, and linked her hands under Alexander's arms.

Six feet of dead weight made it nigh on impossible for her to do any more than move him forward. With a combined day of physical and emotional effort working against her, she gently eased him against the back of the chair.

She straightened and headed for the kitchen. A trimmed lamp cast solemn shadows around the empty room. Catriona glanced at the kitchen clock, only then realising the lateness of the hour.

KATHERINE WAS IN an Irish dreamscape, on a misty early evening in her parent's country garden. The sounds of a string quartet wafted through the open ornate glass doors of her father's house, across the grass to where she danced with a stranger. They danced with a familiarity that could only be borne through close knowledge of each other. Try as she might, she couldn't make out her partner's face. Suddenly a shaft of light fell between them and Katherine realised she was looking at Catriona.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but I need your help."

For a moment Katherine wasn't sure if the face in front of her belonged to her dance partner. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice muddled with sleep.

"I'm here because this is my house. Why else would I be here?" Catriona drew the lamp away from Katherine's face and placed it on her bedside table. "I apologise. I didn't mean to sound so harsh," she softly said. "Please, I need your help."

"What time is it?" Katherine rubbed her eyes, shaking herself free from the tendrils of her dream.

"It's past midnight. I've managed to put Alex asleep with the assistance of two decanters of good scotch, but now I can't move him."

By the sounds of her voice, Katherine could tell she'd also consumed her fair share of whisky.

"I'm pretty sure that between us we'll be able to move him from the study to his room."

Katherine pulled back her bedcovers and got out of bed. "Maybe we should prepare his room first." She reached for her slippers and put them on.

"You're right. Can I use your lamp? Mine's just about out of oil, and I'd prefer not to go back in the study to get one of those lamps until we're ready to move him." Catriona reached to pick up the lamp.

"Of course, but maybe you should let me carry that." She looked at Catriona's confused face. "So you can show me where Alexander's room is."

In Alexander's room Katherine lit one of the lamps from her own. Catriona grabbed the edge of the bedspread and pulled it down. "I've managed to remove his belt, to make him a little more comfortable. This'll allow us to lay him fully clothed on the bed. I'll take off his shoes there, and then we can cover him. I don't wish to do anything else, in case he wakes."

Halting in front of the study, Catriona quietly opened the door to check on him. "Thank God, he's still asleep," she whispered. "If you take one side, I'll take the other."

Catriona placed one of Alexander's arms over her shoulder and then held on to his hand. Katherine mirrored her action and they rose as one.

Katherine grunted with the initial effort of lifting him. Despite his height and drunken weight, between them they managed to half-carry, half-drag him down the hall into his room. He woke only briefly before his head again sagged. Katherine was remotely conscious of the ripping of material during their efforts and sensed the hem of her cotton nightgown would be in need of repair in the near future.

They lowered him onto the bed. "I'll go around the other side," Catriona said. "So we can get him closer to the middle."

After concerted pushing and shoving, they finally achieved their task. Katherine straightened and stepped back from the bed. She closed her eyes and placed her hands in the small of her now-aching back.

She heard the sound of his boots dropping to the floor. "I'll just pull these covers over him, Katherine, and then we can both get some sleep."

Katherine nodded, preoccupied with massaging a tender spot at the base of her spine. Suddenly sensing someone in close proximity to her, Katherine opened her eyes. Catriona stood in front of her, her gaze focused on Katherine's chest. Katherine looked down, only then realising the tearing she'd heard earlier was the front of her nightgown. One side had slipped. One of her breasts was silhouetted in the lamp's light, the curve of it obvious, with the hint of a nipple showing.

CATRIONA COULDN'T DRAG her eyes away from a sight which, aside from her own body, she hadn't seen in such a long time. Sensing something was wrong, she raised her eyes to meet Katherine's stare who, by her look, was very aware of Catriona's gaze. Her features were inscrutable. Yet Catriona sensed no anger, moreso an unreadable calm. Ever so slowly, and without breaking eye contact with Catriona, Katherine raised her hand to the torn fabric and pulled it back onto her shoulder.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed," Katherine quietly said. She trimmed the lamp by Alexander's bedside, and raised her own. She motioned Catriona to follow her.

Katherine had barely taken a handful of steps from Alexander's room when she heard a muffled sound behind her. She wheeled and saw Catriona catch her foot on the hallway runner and fall. She attempted to get up, a feat hampered by her current unsteady state. Katherine rushed to her aid.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see it there, which is funny as I suppose it's always been there. I'm so tired I think I could go to sleep here and never wake up."

Katherine precariously held onto her lamp in one hand while attempting to help up Catriona with the other. "That's understandable given the day you've had. I wish I could say things will be easier when you wake, but something tells me you and Alexander may not feel the best. Can you open your door for me? I've run out of hands."

Catriona opened her door, walked through, and promptly collapsed on her bed.

KATHERINE AGAIN PULLED her nightgown over her shoulder. She placed her lamp on the bedside table and centralised Catriona on the bed, as they had done with Alexander. She struggled to remove Catriona's boots, finally placing them at the foot of the bed. Mindful of Catriona's words about removing Alexander's belt, Katherine did the same. Her ignorance regarding the item of clothing made her fumble with the belt as she attempted to unclasp it. Finally successful, she began to pull the belt through the loops of the trousers.

Catriona eyes opened and she abruptly sat up. Her hands encased Katherine's. "What are you doing?"

Feeling like she'd been caught doing something wrong, Katherine could only manage to stammer. "I was loosening your belt so it doesn't dig into you during the night."

Catriona let go of one of Katherine's hands in order to unthread the belt through the loops in her trousers. She placed it beside her on the bed.

Mesmerised, Katherine couldn't tear her eyes away from Catriona. Her breathing hitched. With deliberate slowness, Catriona cupped Katherine's hand to her face. She let it rest there only fractionally, then turned her head and placed a soft kiss in the hollow of Katherine's palm.

Katherine was riveted to the spot as a warm sensation filled the pit of her stomach.

Catriona let out a deep sigh and released Katherine's hand. "Thank you for your help. I doubt I'd have been able to move Alex without you."

Katherine's confounded gaze alternated between her own hand and Catriona.

Catriona lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. "Go to bed, Katherine. I expect tomorrow's going to be a long day."

She silently picked up her lamp and left the room. On entering her room, she closed the door and mechanically placed the light on her bedside table. She lay down, too confused to sleep. Only then did she master her breathing which, until a moment ago, had made an able accompaniment to the staccato beating of her heart. She wondered if she'd been a part of what just happened, or if, indeed, it had been the epilogue to her surreal dream.

Lifting to her face the hand Catriona had kissed, she knew it had occurred. Her face was on fire, her feelings in turmoil. At first she'd been shocked when she saw Catriona looking at her like she had in Alexander's room. She couldn't precisely read Catriona's features in the muted light nor did she need to--the charged air between the two was enough.

She was even more confounded by the realisation that, once she'd recovered from her initial shock, she'd been flattered to think someone was looking at her in such a way. She knew what passed between them shouldn't be happening. But the feelings Catriona evoked in her warred with her ability to act rationally. After trimming her lamp, she rolled over and lay in darkness, trying to calm the confused emotions coursing through her.

CATRIONA LAY ON her bed. She wasn't sure whether the events of the day or the influence of alcohol had made her act so brazenly. Despite her best attempts, she hadn't been able to tear her eyes from Katherine's soft skin. Although she'd been caught staring, Katherine had made no immediate attempt to cover herself up.

She lightly stroked her lips and her mind lingered on the touch of her lips on Katherine's palm. It had taken all her willpower to release her hand, instead of pulling Katherine down on to the bed with her. She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep, her thoughts caught up in what may have happened had she not managed to regain her self-control.

CATRIONA AWOKE THE next morning feeling like she'd fallen headfirst off her horse. It took her a moment, then she realised the thick furry object in her mouth was actually her tongue. Sitting up was met with a sharp reverberating pain through the back of her head. "I feel like someone's hit me with a lump of wood," she groaned. "I obviously failed to temper the amount of whisky I drank."

Lying back did nothing to alleviate her pain. Placing her hands on either side of her head, she recalled the evening's events after they had managed to get Alexander to bed. She winced, as she remembered her actions with Katherine. She knew Katherine would understandably want an explanation for her previous night's actions. She rolled over and groaned again. How could she tell Katherine she wanted her, as a man wants a woman? One thing was sure, she couldn't remain in her room all day. Matters involving Alexander and his recent loss were still yet to be resolved.

She gingerly hopped out of bed and shed the clothes she'd been wearing for over twenty-four hours. She needed a bath but wasn't sure she could manage it without her head permanently detaching itself from her shoulders. She splashed water into the hand basin and began rudimentary ablutions, attempting to make herself at least presentable. Finally fully dressed and moderately rejuvenated by her wash, she opened her curtains. "Oh shit." She quickly pulled them together. The brilliance which had pierced the window reflected off the inside of her closed eyelids.

With the strong light came the realisation that she'd well and truly slept in. She took her fob watch from the pocket of her soiled trousers and ran her fingers through her hair. "It's eleven thirty! I never sleep this late." She pulled on her boots and opened her door to a silent house.

Moving to Alexander's bedroom, she found the door open, his room empty and the bed made. She tiptoed past Katherine's closed door, assuming she was still asleep. She opened the study door, only to find it too had been tidied after the night's activities. The empty decanters had been returned to their correct places, and the glasses, now clean, were beside them.

Realising it had been sixteen hours since she last ate, Catriona quietly made her way to the kitchen. She halted at the kitchen door. Katherine sat at the table, calmly mending her torn nightgown.

Katherine looked up and smiled. "Good morning, sleepy head. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up."

Catriona busied herself at the sink, her back to Katherine in an attempt to cover her embarrassment. "I don't think I've slept that soundly for years. I figure the alcohol had a lot to do with it. I haven't had such a bad headache for a long time. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Yes, please. I've cleaned up the study and tidied Alexander's room. I didn't rise until eight o'clock, but by then Alexander was already gone." Katherine placed the nightgown over a chair and retrieved two cups for their tea. "He hasn't left a note so I'm not sure where he is."