An Ever Fixéd Mark (22 page)

“We don’t have a chimney in our bedroom,”
Jack argued.

“No, but I could tile the one in the living
room. Do you think that would be possible, Lizzie?” Jen asked
seriously.

“It’s possible,” Lizzie shot a bemused
glance at Ben as she took the last sip from her glass. She was
amused when people asked her decorating tips. She was able to talk
about one house’s wallpaper and furniture. It didn’t necessarily
make her an expert on how to make any other house look the same
way.

“Another round?” Ben stood with his bottle.
She could tell he would bring it to the bar and pretend to exchange
it for another. “Jack, another Guinness?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll have one, too,” Jen echoed.

“
I’ll have another
seltzer,” she offered her empty glass, seeing the burn in his eyes
that made her impatient for the band to start.

“Lizzie, are you pregnant?” Jack asked
abruptly.

“What?” Lizzie couldn’t restrain the volume
of her voice. She saw Ben look suddenly from the bar.

“You haven’t had anything to drink all
night,” Jack disregarded Jen’s disapproving glare.

“I…” Lizzie was able to contain herself from
expressing the humor of his question. All the reasons that made a
yes to that suspicion impossible. “I’m planning a long run
tomorrow. It’s better if I don’t drink.”

“It’s going to be 95 degrees tomorrow,” Jack
rolled his eyes.

“Exactly why she shouldn’t be drinking,
Jack,” Jen elbowed his side.

“Right,” Jack glanced over to the bar where
Ben was waiting. “Things are working out with Cottingham?”

“Yes,” Lizzie beamed. “Yes, they are.”

“Good for you, Lizzie,” Jen grinned.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Jack took the last sip
from his pint glass. “Has he met Aunt Joan and Uncle Steve
yet?”

“Not… as my boyfriend. They know him from
high school,” Lizzie looked down, not ready to think too long and
hard about that step of a relationship. Her parents.

“They will like him, Lizzie. How could they
not?” Jen asked as Ben returned to the table with drinks, including
his recycled beer bottle. Lizzie smiled at Jen, masking her
discomfort. She didn’t know how to tell her parents that she
finally had a boyfriend. And that he was a vampire.

“Jack, when is your next gig?” Ben settled
back into his seat.

“We just agreed to play for a BBQ in
September. It’s a fundraiser, so you’ll come for sure won’t you
Lizzie?”

“What’s the cause?” Lizzie noticed the band
finally take the stage.

“It’s a scholarship for… Melissa… my
parents’ neighbors. You remember… that girl in the class ahead of
us? She disappeared right before her graduation?”

“Melissa Benson,” Lizzie felt the joy of her
evening suddenly sober.

“Her parents are hosting a
barbeque in Coldbrook in September. It would have been her
35
^th
birthday,” Jen explained.

“
Sounds like a noble
cause,” Lizzie glanced at Ben. He looked away from Jen and met her
gaze with friendly eyes.

“Jack isn’t noble, Lizzie. He just wants the
free beer they get for payment,” Jen smirked, as the band started
their first song at top volume. Jack pulled Jen under his arm and
turned to the musicians. Lizzie watched Ben, trying to observe if
he would let down his guard for a second and show a delayed
reaction to Melissa Benson. He didn’t show anything. Not one little
expression.

*****

Lizzie held Ben’s hand from the bar back to
his apartment. Her ears slowly unclogged themselves, but left her
with little desire to speak. It was a good concert and a good
evening spent with family. She was glad for the spontaneous visit
they made to the Fulton House. And yet, in spite of those happy –
good – details, she felt drained.

Her desire for the completion of the evening
left her. She no longer let her mind drift back to her dream or
supposing how Ben would bite her. She resisted a temptation to let
Jack buy her a beer at the end of the night. She lost her desire,
but knew from the burning look in Ben’s eyes that he had not.

She let go of his hand as he unlocked the
door and walked silently up the two flights to his apartment. He
stayed silent as she set down her purse in the living room and left
to get a glass of water. She came back and saw his silhouette
against the window. He was looking down into the street and turned
very slowly to face her. Lizzie didn’t feel the impulse to return
his smile. She set down her water glass and stayed motionless.
“Which of you killed Melissa?”

Ben’s expression cooled suddenly. “I told
you, Elizabeth. I haven’t killed anyone in many years.”

“So it was Oliver?”

“Have you been thinking about this all
night?” Ben slowly left the window.

“I tried not to.”

Ben reached towards her and pulled her into
his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“Did he kill her?” Lizzie didn’t reciprocate
his embrace.

Ben straightened his spine and looked over
her shoulder. “I don’t know.”

Lizzie pulled herself away to look at his
face. “So you think he could have?”

“I think it’s a strong possibility,” he
looked directly at her.

“What other possibility could there be?”

“I hope that he didn’t do it.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“There was no body, Elizabeth,” Ben
shrugged. “I know as much as the police know about this case.”

“Except that your brother is a vampire.”

“So am I.”

“Yes, but you know that you didn’t do it,”
Lizzie was unable to stare any longer at the burning expression of
his eyes. “You don’t seem that confident about what Oliver did not
do.”

“I’m sorry that this has upset you.”

“Me? What about her family? They didn’t even
have a body to bury,” Lizzie cried. “She was only… seventeen.”

“I know,” Ben walked back to the window, the
juxtaposition of the street light darkening him in the shadow
again.

“That poor family,” Lizzie felt the
exhaustion of a long day wash over her. She sat on the couch and
rested her head against the cushions. She looked up at the ceiling,
seeing the shadows of headlights move across the room. “Would you
let that happen to me, Ben?”

“No,” Ben said immediately. “Why would you
even think that?”

Lizzie let herself look at him and saw the
anger in his jaw. “If something happened to me, how would you tell
my family?”

“Nothing is going to happen to you,
Elizabeth,” his voice was harsh. “I won’t let it.”

Lizzie felt a chill pass across her
shoulders. There was something terrifying in his voice that Lizzie
thought she should fear. There was something very honest and
exposed, more than his declaration on the beach after Nora’s
wedding. The strength of his anger was proof of his vulnerability.
It was the reaction she hoped to see earlier. Only it wasn’t over
Melissa Benson. It was about her.

“I won’t ever hurt you,” he declared with
the same raw emotion. “I won’t let anyone else hurt you.”

“Do you think someone is going to hurt me?”
she felt the thrill of her fear. “Do you think Oliver could hurt
me?”

Ben paused without looking away. He breathed
in slowly, “No.” He walked to the couch and sat beside her. Lizzie
felt an immediate comfort with his closeness, even as she still
felt a haunting sensation frighten her senses. Ben’s arm pulled her
close to him. He gently kissed the top of her head as she leaned
against his shoulder.

“Andrew wants us to come to dinner on
Friday,” Lizzie decided to let the subject fade into the
silence.

“Oh?” Ben’s lighter tone indicated his
relief.

“He and Davis want to cook us a meal,”
Lizzie explained. “I told him you had food allergies.”

Ben laughed. “What allergy?”

“I didn’t say… but do you want to go? Or
shall I make up some excuse?”

“I want to go,” he moved the hair away from
her cheek. Lizzie felt the cool air of the AC blow against her
exposed skin.

“They are my harshest critics.”

“You respect their opinions,” Ben paused
after he moved all her hair behind her shoulder. Lizzie felt his
fingers gently trace the curve of her neck. She felt his chest rise
and fall with a deep breath.

“They are always completely honest,” the
quieted thrill electrified her body again. “But neither judges me
for my past wrongs… or present ones.”

“Elizabeth,” Ben spoke on his next exhale.
His fingers rested on her pulse, which accelerated with the last
syllable of her name. She guided his hand away from her as she sat
straight against the sofa. She didn’t need to look at his eyes to
know the intensity of longing. Instead, Lizzie looked at the floor,
blurring the image of the carpet as fear and desire agitated her
body too much to make decision. Ben retrieved his arm and slowly
left the couch. The removal of his warmth pushed her to the impulse
to go after him. She took his shoulders and turned him in to kiss
her. He kissed her with an intensity she hadn’t felt from his lips
since the night of the reunion.

She felt light headed as he stepped back to
let her breathe. She paused a second and kissed him again, almost
falling backwards when he renewed his intensity. He caught her lack
of balance and lifted her off her feet, carrying her down the hall
into the bedroom. He removed her dress before pushing her gently
down on the bed. She took in slow deep breaths to calm her
heartbeat as he undressed. She locked with his eyes as he lowered
back down over her and pushed himself between her legs. She forgot
everything that troubled her in the living room as the sensation
escalated. She inhaled deeply and lifted back her head, exposing
the curve of her neck. His eyes left hers as she arched her entire
body into his. His breath warmed the inside of her shoulder before
the feeling of a small cut into her skin. She was aware of the
blood rush to her head and then the pulse through the artery of her
neck.

She closed her eyes, letting the sensation
wash over her, as if cool blood were running through warm veins.
Under the lids of her eyes, everything seemed to glow as if lit by
candlelight. Every nerve felt awake and aware of the slightest
touch. She felt his body grow in warmth against her own, as her
blood started to pump through his heart and into his veins,
enlivening his nerves to excitement.

The warm electricity ebbed from her mind,
fluttering her eyes open when he lifted his gaze back to her. The
green glowed against the dim light from the street as the color
faded the freckles across his cheeks. Lizzie breathed out slowly,
letting her chest rise and fall against his. His heart echoed
against her, in a more rapid rhythm than hers could ever
survive.

She reached her arms to pull him back into
her kiss. It was still aggressive and she felt the sting of a
scratch inside her lower lip. Lizzie continued to kiss him until
she needed to breathe. She looked up to his glowing green eyes. His
lips curled into a satisfied smile. “Are you okay?” he whispered
softly.

Lizzie nodded slowly, afraid her voice would
be too loud for that moment. He kissed her lightly on the forehead
and smoothed the disheveled strands from her face. “Are you
tired?”

“No,” Lizzie managed to whisper just long
enough for him to kiss her again.

“There is no place I would rather be right
now,” he kissed her lips and then looked at the side of her neck.
He touched the spot where she felt the brief cut of his teeth. She
couldn’t see it but imagined the red marks she had on her wrist. He
bent his head down to kiss that spot gently, leaving a warm
sensation with his lips. She could still feel his heartbeat racing
her blood through his body, empowering his actions. He moved away
from her neck down towards her breasts and slowly down along her
torso.

“Ben,” she touched the rusty brown hair that
was just beginning to curl. He looked up at her, leaving another
impression of warmth between her breasts where his lips had just
been. “I …” she breathed out and looked away from the brilliant
green eyes. “I want to be here, too.” He smiled broadly again and
bent his head back over her torso, slowly moving his lips down to
her pelvis.

*****

Even with the AC, Lizzie sensed the warmth
of the July afternoon streaming across her as she lay besides a
sleeping Ben. She felt tired but not enough to sleep. She lingered
a half hour with her eyes closed, but the dryness of her throat
irritated her out of bed. Ben hardly moved as she left his side.
She went to the kitchen to moisten her throat and abate the pang of
hunger resonating in her stomach.

She removed the meat from the pan and
replaced it with the chopped peppers and onions. The sizzling sound
and sweet aroma of their juices filled the kitchen. She wondered if
Ben could smell them down the hallway or if, like the taste of
food, the appealing scent faded into inconsequential. She was used
to cooking for herself. So many years she made meals without having
to worry about anyone else. Sometimes Meg would sample a helping or
two. There were always dinner parties. But she figured that one day
there would be a family of some sort she would feed and impress
with her skill. She was going to have to let that go.

She filled one of the pristine plates with
her stir fry and took it into the living room to eat by the
television. Nothing appealed to her so she shut it off and sat in a
chair by the window. She could tell from her glance outside that it
was a hot afternoon. The people walking down the street were
dressed in the least amount of clothing without being offensive…
although some probably were in the eyes of Davis. She laughed to
herself and looked back to the room, noticing for the first time a
Victorian table beneath a gilded mirror behind the couch. It was an
interesting juxtaposition to the modern leather furniture and
carefully organized media in the room. The legs were elaborately
carved and had intricate detail beneath the table top. Centered on
top of the table was a ceramic vase filled with white roses.