Amish Circle Letters II: The Second Circle of Letters (29 page)

Despite the cold weather, the
kinner
played outside. From time to time, their laughter broke the silence. Mary Ruth looked up and peered out the window. She smiled to herself as she saw Ruth Anne and Emma playing with Leah’s daughters. Suzanna, however, stood with Lizzie’s older girls, Katie and Rachel Ann, clearly separating herself from the ‘little’ girls.

“I think I hear a car,” Miriam said. “Is that them?” She wiped her hands on her apron and adjusted her glasses so that she could see better. “
Ja
, it’s them!”

The door opened and the
kinner
ran into the house. Emma hurried over to Mary Ruth. “She’s here!”

“Is she now?” Mary Ruth set down her yarn and patted Emma’s arm. “Mayhaps you best find your
bruder
, Emma. He’ll be wanting to see her. And don’t crowd her too much.”

By the time Isaac and Anna managed to help Katie into the house, everyone was standing in a semi-circle, smiles on their faces as they watched her make her way into the room. The only one not smiling was Lovina.

Mary Ruth noticed the change in Lovina’s demeanor. While she had been sullen and sulky earlier, now she looked downright angry. While the younger
kinner
greeted Katie, Mary Ruth made her way over to her brother.

“James,” Mary Ruth whispered. “Best be keeping an eye on Lovina.”

He looked up, startled by her words. “That so?”

Mary Ruth responded by merely nodding her head in Lovina’s direction. He followed her gaze and saw the deep scowl on his wife’s face. He watched as she studied Katie for a few minutes, observing Anna who situated the young girl on the sofa. The look of fury on her face was unmistakable and he started to walk toward her.

“Well,” Lovina expressed out loud, for everyone to hear, crossing her arms over her chest. “I sure hope you are going to get rid of that pony now!”

A silence fell over the room.

“I knew that Eleanor Haile was up to no good with her ponies and always hanging around. Now look at Katie! She can barely walk!”

“Lovina, that
’s enough,” Miriam warned.

“I should say it is!” Lovina snapped back. “Letting that Englische woman come around here is bad enough. Keeping her pony is quite another matter. Why, I
’m surprised the bishop permits it, especially given her past with this family.”

Without another word, James took his wife’s elbow in his hand and led her away from the rest of the family. His hold upon her was strong and she could scarcely wiggle her way free.

Katie looked up at her
mamm
. “Butterscotch isn’t going away, is she?”

Anna forced a smile. “
Nee
, child,” she said. “Wasn’t the pony’s fault now, was it? But I do believe your riding days are over for a while.”

Katie looked around the room, her eyes seeking one person in particular. “Where’s Melvin?” she asked, looking at Mary Ruth.

“Why, I’m not sure!” Mary Ruth glanced around and finally caught Menno’s eye. “Have you seen him, Menno?”

“
Nee
.”

Mary Ruth looked for Emma. “Did you find him when I sent you looking for him?”

The little girl shook her head.

“I saw him heading toward the barn,” Rachel Ann offered. “But that was a while back.”

Mary Ruth took a deep breath and nodded her head. “I reckon I’ll go look for him, then.”

Menno placed his hand on her arm, stopping her before she could walk past him. “I’ll go. It’s cold outside.”

She leveled her gaze at her husband as she said, “Mayhaps best if we both go.”

Grabbing her black shawl from the hook in the entrance room, Mary Ruth flung it over her shoulder and held the front before she walked out the door. Menno walked behind her, quickly buttoning up his black jacket to ward off the cold air. With the sun descending in the sky, it was cold. Too cold for Melvin to be sitting by himself in the barn, Mary Ruth thought. But that was where they found him; sitting alone in the hayloft.

“Son?”

Melvin didn’t look up when Menno called out to him.

Mary Ruth glanced at her husband and lifted an eyebrow. When Menno shrugged, Mary Ruth took a step forward and knelt before the boy. “Melvin, don’t you want to come greet Katie? She just arrived home.”

He shook his head. “I can’t,” he whispered.

“Why not?”

“I can’t see her until I fulfill my promise.”

Ah, Mary Ruth thought, sitting on her heels and pulling her shawl tighter around her chest. So this is when it happens. “Then mayhaps it’s time to fulfill your promise,” she coaxed him in a soft, gentle voice.

Melvin lifted his eyes and stared at her. The tears forming in the corners of his eyes threatened to stain his cheeks. “I tried telling you before,” he started. “The day of Katie’s accident. She wanted me to make right with you. To confess.”

Menno knelt beside Mary Ruth so that he, too, was on eye-level with his son. “Whatever you have to confess, Melvin, seems to be weighing awful heavy on your soul.”

Nodding his head, Melvin swiped at his eyes with the palm of his hand. “
Ja
, it is heavy.”

“Then tell us. Unburden yourself!”

He took a deep breath and, for just a moment, chewed on his lower lip. His hesitation indicated the extent of his pain. When he finally spoke, he did so without looking back. “It was all my fault. Everything.” He waited as if he expected one of them to ask questions. When they remained silent, he continued. “I..I stole those Bible verses that you left for
Daed
.” Silence. “And I was angry with you, that night of the fire. You wouldn’t let me go sleighing so I didn’t do as you said. I left that lantern burn, the one that started the fire. And I didn’t put away that pitchfork, either.” He paused, avoiding Mary Ruth’s eyes. Instead, he stared at the ground. “You almost died because of me.”

She felt Menno stiffen.
You almost died because of me.
She knew those words stung her husband. It was the unspoken mountain lingering for weeks in their lives.
You almost died because of me.
It was the grief that burdened Melvin’s soul and ached Menno’s heart. To her relief, he held back any reaction to his son’s words.

“Melvin,” Mary Ruth said softly. “I didn’t die. Whether I would have or not was in God’s hands. Not yours, son. It’s about time to move forward, now, don’t you reckon?”

He blinked his eyes and glanced first at her and then at his
daed
. He looked confused, as if expecting a stronger scolding or a punishment. When he realized that none was coming, he frowned. “That’s it?”

Mary Ruth reached out and touched his knee. “You’ve been punishing yourself enough for the past few weeks, ain’t so?”

“You…you knew?”

She nodded her head and smiled. “We knew.”

Her revelation appeared to stun Melvin. His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. At that moment, when the light slowly began to return to his expression, the dark cloud slowly lifting, she would have given anything to have the ability to read his mind.

“And you never said anything?”

“Figured you’d know when it was best to confess,” Menno said as he stood up, his knees cracking. “We usually do.” Reaching out his hand for Mary Ruth, he helped her to her feet. While his tone to Melvin surprised her, she noticed how he squeezed her hand, reassuring her that he approved of how she handled his son. “Now, let’s get into the house and greet Katie before supper is served.”

Together, the three of them walked through the barn and headed outside into the cold, Menno with his arm around his son’s shoulders and Mary Ruth beside her husband. For the first time in weeks, Melvin walked with his head held high, a burden lifted from his shoulders. Mary Ruth smiled, glad to see the change in his confidence. She only hoped that he understood the lesson learned: only by facing one’s mistakes and accepting responsibility for them could one begin the process of healing.

Katie lit up when she saw Melvin walk in with his parents. The commotion in the room overshadowed all conversation so she didn’t bother to call out for his attention. She knew that he would find her when he was ready. So she waited patiently.

“What was the hospital like?” Benjamin asked, kneeling on the sofa beside her. “Was it scary, sleeping there?”

Katie shook her head. “
Nee,
it wasn’t. The nurses were all right nice and let me have as much jello as I wanted!”

Benjamin’s eyes lit up. “Jello?”

“And lots of apple juice and cookies!”

“Not fair!” he whined. “I want to stay in the hospital!”

Anna cast a dark look at him. “Let’s hope that never happens, Benjamin!” she scolded. “You get plenty of sweets here, anyway.”

Katie leaned over and whispered into her brother’s ear. “
Mamm’s
cookies are an awful lot better!”

He giggled and Katie saw her
mamm
smile approvingly. It felt good to be home!

“Katie,” a voice said from beside her.

She looked up and, when she saw Melvin, she tried to hide her grin. Just from the way his eyes lit up, she knew what he wanted to tell her. But words were unnecessary. “I was wondering where you were hiding,” she teased.

He shuffled his feet, his hands thrust into the front pockets of his pants. With a sheepish smile, he looked down at the floor. “Had something to discuss with my parents before I could see you,” he admitted. “Sure is right
gut
to see you back at home. You had a lot of people worried.”

Katie shrugged her shoulders. “God took good care of me, I reckon.”

“That He did.” With a quick glance around to make certain no one was listening, Melvin leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “And I’m glad He did!”

She felt a blush colored her cheeks.

Mary Ruth interrupted them as she walked over to place her hand on Melvin’s shoulder. “Katie, you need some help getting to the table? Melvin and I can assist.”

Determined to do it on her own, Katie shook her head. “
Nee
, but
danke
,” she said cheerfully as she stood up, steadying her balance by keeping her hand on the arm of the sofa. “It’s not so bad once I get up. Just a little dizziness and then I’m right as rain!”

The long tables set up in the large gathering room were set with a variety of place settings. The children sat at one end of the table while the adults occupied the other. Smaller kinner sat next to their older siblings or cousins so that someone could help serve them. Katie made certain to sit between Melvin’s sisters since most of the boys sat together on the other side of the table.

When everyone was settled, a silence fell across the room and Elias bent his head to indicate the start of the silent prayer. Katie peeked out of the corner of her eye, glancing in Melvin’s direction. She wasn’t surprised to see that he, too, had stolen a secret glance at her. They smiled and bowed their heads back to finish their private prayer.

As soon as Elias lifted his head, energy returned to the air as arms reached across the table for platters and bowls to pass around the table. The noise of happy conversation mixed with the clinking of silverware against porcelain plates warmed everyone’s heart..

Katie answered questions from Suzanna and her other cousins about what it was like to stay overnight in the hospital. The smaller children stared at her with big, curious eyes as if she had just returned from a grand adventure, something akin to a foreign country, which made Katie feel especially grown-up. The questions from her cousins demonstrated more than just an interest in her experience. Indeed, they also wanted to know  what life was like in the world of the
Englische
. It dawned on Katie that, even though she was one of the younger
kinner
in the family, she was the only one who had ever stayed outside of the Amish community.

“Now, now,” she heard her
mamm
say as she leaned forward and peered down the length of the table. “Enough talk about that hospital.” She shook her head and clicked her tongue a few times disapprovingly. “Hope I never have to see the inside of that place again,” she muttered to Mary Ruth who was seated beside her.

Katie rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the food on her plate. It had been almost a week since she had tasted good home-cooked food. She savored each bite, from the honey-roasted ham to the buttery mashed potatoes to the vinegary tang of the pickled cabbage and the chow chow. She reached for a second slice of fresh bread and slathered soft homemade butter across it.

“Bet the food wasn’t as
gut
as this,” Melvin whispered across the table, a smile on his face.

Emphatically, Katie shook her head. “Nothing’s as good as
Mamm’s
cooking,” she said and then, looking up, quickly correcting herself: “
Grossmammi
Miriam’s food, too!”