Amish Breaking Point (2 page)

Chapter 3.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;

whom shall I fear?

the Lord is the strength of my life;

of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27.1

How wonderful today has been,
Silvie thought.
How gut I felt walking through town with the mann I love.

Sabrina burst into her room without any invitation, as usual. "Silvie, you're back. How was it?"

"I do wish you'd knock."

"Whatever for? We are sisters. We have no secrets. Bailey, on the other hand, has at least one."

"
Ach,
please, not this again. He's a
gut mann
, can't you leave him be?"

"
Nee
, because you're too trusting." Sabrina flounced further into the room and slumped onto Silvie's bed, next to her. She squeezed Silvie’s hand. "Bailey is hiding something. He's shifty, can't you see it in his eyes?"

"All I see in his beautiful hazel eyes is kindness, and there's nothing wrong with trusting someone." Silvie snatched her hand from Sabrina's. "I don't know why you're so against him. What did he ever do to you? He's shown you nothing but respect and patience when a lesser man might have scolded you for your meddling ways."

"Don't get me wrong, I see what you see in him; he’s handsome. He's tall, fair, and yes, he has something dreamy going on, but that doesn't mean he's not hiding something."

"Like what?" Silvie wished she wouldn’t be so annoying. "What could he be hiding?"

"Well, he never did tell you about his
familye
. Where are his people, Silvie? Don't you want to know more about the
mann
you plan to spend the rest of your life with? Or, are you just happy that he makes you feel good for now?"

Silvie supposed she had a point. She didn't know much about Bailey’s immediate family. “Don’t be silly, Sabrina. You know very well that his great aunties are Elsa-May and Ettie, and their
bruder
was Bailey’s
grossdaddi
. What more do I need to know than that? I know Elsa-May and Ettie very well; I meet with them once a week when the five of us widows get together.”

“Hmm, Elsa-May thinks she’s clever, that’s plain to see. I don’t think she’d think anything of keeping a secret or two from you.”

“Nonsense, you’re being silly now. Can’t you just let me be happy?” Sabrina had got Silvie thinking; she knew nothing of his immediate family. But she was more interested in their future, not his past. "When Bailey feels like telling me about his
familye,
I'll be ready to listen. Until then, I figure it's none of my business."

Silvie was not being entirely honest with herself, or her
schweschder,
because she was curious. Always had been too, but she would not press Bailey to tell her more than he could bear. "I'm not a silly young woman, Sabrina. I'm old enough to know a man's heart is made up of many experiences, and not all of them will be good especially in the line of work he was in."

"Exactly, if I..."

Silvie raised her hand and rested a finger at the center of Sabrina's lips, effectively silencing her. "If I this, if I that. Thing is, it isn't you, so don't you worry your pretty, young head about me." She stood and poked Sabrina's nose tip playfully. "Your turn will come,
schweschder,
and when you fall in love, woe-betide anyone who runs their mouth off about him."

"I’ve been in love. Anyway, there's no reasoning with you. I was just trying to warn you to be careful." Sabrina shoved herself up from the bed, her spine straight, and her chin out. "One way or another I'm going to find out what's making him so shifty."

Silvie grimaced. "Please leave my room. I have a headache and would like a little peace." Silvie knew who Bailey was, and she trusted him to do the right thing for them both. That was all any
fraa
could do.

"Fine." Sabrina huffed as she walked towards the door.

"
Ach
and, Sabrina, before you go."

"
Jah
?"

"If you love me at all, accept that I'm marrying Bailey and let that be an end to it."

Sabrina offered no reply, only a furrowed brow and pursed lips. She left the room, shutting the door very firmly behind her.

Silvie sighed, knowing Sabrina had no intention of accepting Bailey.

* * *

Bailey had returned from his blissful day with Silvie, full of energy and enthusiasm. He got to work on writing five letters to prospective employers in and around town. Silvie's question had made him think more about the kind of job he would prefer. He would contact more companies again tomorrow just in case they had an opening. Maybe he had to try a few jobs first to find out what he wanted to do.

A horse’s hooves clip-clopped outside, a familiar signal that someone had arrived. Bailey rose to his feet. He knew it was a buggy other than Jack’s buggy. There was no way Jack could be back so soon.  

"Silvie?" He ran to the door with the letter he had been writing still in his hand. But when he swung the door open, he found Sabrina. "
Ach
, Sabrina." He fought an audible groan; Sabrina, more often than not, meant trouble. He tossed the letter he was holding onto a small table on the porch. Then a bolt of panic caught in his throat when he considered her reason for coming alone. "Is it Silvie? Has there been an accident?"

"Well? Um, let me think?"

"Stop playing games, is she alright?"

"Of course she's well. Do you think I'd be all the way out here if she weren’t? I'd be by her bedside,
bruder
-in-law to be." Sabrina put one shiny, leather boot up on the porch step. "Won't you invite me in?"

"I would, of course, but surely you realize why I can't. One, it's not my house to extend invitations, and two, it's inappropriate for you to be here unaccompanied. What business could you possibly have with me anyway?" Bailey folded his arms and waited for her smart-mouthed reply that he knew would be coming.

"I saw Jack and Pamela in town just now and I told them I was on my way to see you. They said they'd be right along, don't worry so. It's just that I promised Silvie that I would make more of an effort to get to know you.
Familye
is extremely important, don't you think?"

Bailey flinched and noticed the look in her eye as she said it. He had to be careful with this one. She was shrewd beyond her years and my, how she loved to pry. "
Jah,
I believe so."

"So, will you invite me in? It's dreadfully hot out here."

"
Nee
, Sabrina, I will not and for the reasons I’ve already explained, and I'm busy with writing letters so make it quick, will you?” Bailey knew that his words were rude, but it was hard to offend a person like Sabrina.

Sabrina stepped up on the porch and swished her way onto a large chair; her eyes fell to a letter that was on a small table next to her. Picking it up, she said, “Is this one of your letters?”

“
Jah
it is.” Bailey tried to take the letter out of her hands, but she held it away from him. "What interesting handwriting you have. Such fine penmanship; did you attend college?"

"Best in my class, once upon a time." Bailey made another grab for the letter and this time he was successful.

"Are you going to offer me a cup of tea and something to eat?”

Bailey blew out a breath. “Lemonade or tea?”

“I’ll have lemonade and a sandwich. Which college did you go to?”

Bailey busied himself sorting through the picnic basket, which was still on the porch. From nowhere the vision from last night arrived and played out once more behind his eyes. Suddenly, he was back there, in his nightmare.

"Bailey, are you all right?" Sabrina's voice burst through the vision and dragged him back to Jack's home, to his uninvited guest.

"
Jah
? Oh,
jah
. I'm fine." The last person he needed to be around while experiencing a flashback was Sabrina. "Just waiting for you to choose, that's all."

"Choose what? I’ve already said that I’ll have lemonade, and a sandwich. Are you sure you're okay?"

That was two flashbacks in one day. He’d never had this many before; they had become more frequent in the past months, but he’d never be able to stay in his previous career if he’d had this many flashbacks. One of his colleagues would have noticed and reported him. "Lemonade it is, then. I’ll just get it from the cold box."

Bailey could feel Sabrina’s eyes on him through the window as he made his way through to the cold box in the kitchen. He hoped that Jack would return and prevent this woman from picking at his brain. "Here, it is cool and sweet. Silvie enjoyed several glasses earlier. And here’s your sandwich." Bailey had found some left over sandwiches from the picnic earlier. He poured himself a glass of lemonade as well, not to be sociable or polite, but because he was thirsty.

"
Denke."
She balanced the sandwich on her lap then sipped some lemonade and grinned in pleasure. "Impressive. Is it a family recipe?"

Bailey choked a little on his lemonade and looked past her. "Excuse me, it went down the wrong way."

"Goodness, please be careful, Bailey." Sabrina feigned concern beautifully, apart from the shadow of a smile she could not disguise.

"Ahem." He wiped his mouth and realized his whole face was sweating.
She knows; she knows I'm hiding something
. "Not mine, Jack's
. Jah,
his
grossmammi
passed it on before she died." He glanced to the side of her, then at his drink, then thought of the letters he’d rather be completing. "A good cook by all accounts."

"And what of your
grossmammi,
Bailey? Is she still living in...?" She tapped her temple. "Nope, I've forgotten. Where was it you said you came from again?"

Please Jack, come home and disturb this interrogation
. "I didn't. But
nee
, my grandmother is no longer with us."

Sabrina's eyes widened; her mouth slightly gaped.

"But let's not talk about me, what about you? When will the lovely Sabrina get married? Surely you have a few
menner
knocking at your door?"

Just then, Jack returned. His children jumped from the buggy and ran to Bailey. "Sorry, but you see how it is,” Bailey said above the children’s giggles as they climbed all over him. “Perhaps I can see you with Silvie next time?"

Sabrina glowered. Her small mouth drooped at the corners. "
Jah
, I'd better be going."

"If you must." Bailey picked up the youngest who had wrapped himself around Sabrina’s ankle.

Once free from the child who had become entangled about her legs, Sabrina stood up. "
Jah
, I didn't realize the time, I’ll have to help Silvie with the dinner.
Denke
for the lemonade and the sandwich, Bailey. I will see you soon."

Chapter 4.

The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring for ever:

the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

Psalm 19:9

After her wonderful day with Bailey, Silvie arrived at the widows’ meeting, which was always held at the elderly
schweschders,
Elsa-May and Ettie’s,
haus.
She was concerned that Sabrina had been missing for a couple of hours that afternoon and after the conversation they’d had, she was more than certain that Sabrina had gone to visit Bailey.

The race was on. Silvie had to find out about Bailey’s
familye
before Sabrina did. If there was anything bad to know, she could not wait for Bailey to tell her just in case Sabrina found out first. She would have to ask his elderly great aunts, Elsa-May and Ettie.

Ettie answered her knock on the door, and she was ushered into the living room where everyone sat on old rickety chairs. Emma and Maureen, the younger widows, were there as well. Emma had recently married Wil, but she was still part of their group. As usual, Ettie’s old dog, Ginger, laid sprawled out in a corner of the room, opening one eye every now and again.

“You look disturbed, Silvie. What’s wrong?” Emma asked.

Silvie took a deep breath and looked around at the widows whose eyes were fastened onto her. “It’s just that Sabrina’s got it into her head that Bailey’s hiding something from me.”

Silvie noticed that Elsa-May and Ettie shot each other a glance.

“What is it? I saw you two look at each other. Please tell me,” Silvie said to the elderly widows.

“It’s nothing,” Ettie said. “Just that
schweschder
of yours is making trouble again.”

“She looks for trouble,” Elsa-May added quickly.

Silvie looked carefully at the two elderly ladies. Ettie stared back at her, and Elsa-May put her head down and picked up her knitting. “Elsa-May, is there something that you want to tell me?”

Elsa-May lowered her knitting and looked at Emma. “I don’t know anything to tell you. All I know is that Bailey’s father was a hard man. We lost touch with our
bruder,
Bailey’s
grossdaddi,
when he left the community. Bailey’s
vadder
is not the one related to us; it’s Liz, Jonah’s
dochder
, Bailey’s
mudder.”

“You make it sound so confusing, Elsa-May. Our
bruder’s
name was Jonah; his
dochder
is Liz and Liz is Bailey’s
mudder
. Anyway, Jonah left the community before he was twenty, and we never saw him again. I thought I saw him many years later, at the edge of our farm. I ran as fast as I could toward him, but the man I saw got in a car and drove away. I never knew if it was him or not,” Ettie said. “I do have a feeling it was him.”

“What caused Jonah to leave the community?” Maureen asked.

It appeared to Silvie that she wasn’t the only one who wanted to know about Bailey’s history.

“We’re not sure,” Ettie answered quickly; even though Elsa-May had already opened her mouth to do so.

Elsa-May turned to look at Ettie.

“Well, I’m not sure, are you?” Ettie asked her
schweschder.

Elsa-May shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

“You must have some idea. He must’ve given some reason,” Silvie said.

“If he did, he didn’t give it to us,” Ettie said. “Now, how are the plans for your wedding going?”

Silvie knew she would get no answers from them. She was satisfied that if it were something that she should know, then her friends, Bailey’s great aunts, would have told her. “Things are coming on well. I’ve got the food tents organized, the ladies to help with the food and I’m starting on the dresses.”

“You’re leaving things a little late aren’t you?” Ettie asked.

“
Nee,
I’ve got Bailey’s suit and his attendants’ suits sewn.”

“Emma and I can help you with the dresses, Silvie,” Maureen said.

Emma nodded, “
Jah
, we’d be glad to help, of course.”

The remainder of the widows’ meeting was filled with laughter and each of them eating many sweet things, but Silvie had her mind elsewhere. When Silvie arrived home, Sabrina was still awake and sitting on the couch. “Sabrina, you’re still awake.”

“
Jah
, I couldn’t sleep. I’ve got an early start at work tomorrow too.”

“Is something disturbing you?” Silvie asked.

“I’m just thinking about when you get married to Bailey. I can’t stay here in the
haus
.”

“Of course you can. You can stay here as long as you like.”

“
Nee
, I can’t. I would feel awkward, and you and Bailey need your time alone.”

Silvie sighed. “It’s because you don’t like him, isn’t it?”

“I don’t dislike him; I just think he’s hiding something. But that’s not to do with anything. You should have your privacy.”

Silvie did not want to have Sabrina on her own somewhere; she could only imagine what kind of trouble she might get into. “You will stay with me until you get married or you will have to go back home to Ohio and live with
mamm
and
dat.”

Sabrina’s mouth fell open. “I haven’t met anyone; that could be ages away.”

Silvie continued, “I won’t hear another word about it.”

Sabrina pushed out her bottom lip.

“Stop it. I won’t hear another word about it. Off to bed with you,” Silvie said before she walked out of the room.

* * *

Ettie and Elsa-May closed the door after they waved goodbye to Maureen, Silvie and Emma, when the widows’ meeting was over. Ettie leaned over Ginger and stroked his back with two long strokes. “
Gut nacht
, old boy.”

“Well, what do you think of what Silvie had to say?” Elsa-May said as she sat down and picked up her knitting.

“Do you think we should have said something to her?”

“Ettie, it’s not our place to say anything. It’s Bailey who should be the one to tell her.”

“It appears he isn’t. Maybe he doesn’t know.” Ettie sat down in a chair next to her
schweschder
, and picked up the last cookie, which was left over from their get together.

“Well, it’s hard to know exactly what we could have told her. Whatever we would have told her would have only led to more questions,” Elsa-May said.

Ettie nibbled on the cookie. “Hmm.”

Elsa-May continued, “What is it we know that we could have said? Bailey’s mother, Liz, came to stay with us to get away from Bailey’s father for six months. I don’t think that Bailey even remembers coming here, does he?”

Ettie shook her head and swallowed some cookie. “When we met him again as a young man he said nothing of staying with us. He acted as though he’d never met us. Remember he thought it best not to say anything because it would only bring back memories of a dark time in his and his
mudder’s
life?”

“I can’t see why Jonah’s
dochder
married that man in the first place.”

“Mmm,” Ettie said.

Elsa-May untied the strings of her prayer
kapp.
“How old do you think that Bailey was when he came here?”

Ettie blew out her cheeks while she thought. Then she counted on her fingers. “Seven or eight?”

“
Jah
, I was thinking he would’ve been about eight. Why Liz went back to that terrible man, I’ll never know. Love does crazy things to people.”

“Love or a death wish?”

“What do you mean, Ettie?”

“She must have known she’d be in for more harsh treatment and Bailey would have been at risk. Even if you love someone, you shouldn’t stay if you’re being abused. Even the community allows separation under extreme circumstances, if you’ve tried all else and you still can’t live with one another,” Ettie said.

“People deserve second chances, I suppose,” Elsa-May said.

“Liz said in her letters that Denman was treating her better. She wouldn’t have said so it if it weren’t true.”

Elsa-May shrugged her shoulders and continued knitting.