Authors: Robin Roseau
"There have been such changes for you," she said. "You have gone from the safety of your ocean cove to the dark forest in the foothills of the mountains. You are amongst strangers with unexpected customs, and you find yourself in the bed of a woman you barely know."
"Yes," I said. "A woman I thought I would wish to kill."
"Do you still wish to kill me? Or perhaps only Nori?"
"No. Neither." I paused. "Why did you not allow me to echo the vows you offered me?"
"Ah. You were about to offer your companionship only to me."
"Yes. I thought-"
"We have warriors without companions. We have companions who will become warriors and will not yet have companions of their own. You do not understand, but they will need help. It may not be that you will offer comfort to anyone other than me, and there is no obligation for you to do so."
"But Nori has no one when her heart hurts."
"Not her heart. Her soul. You are not here to comfort anyone's heart, although perhaps you and I will grow to share that bond. You are here to comfort my soul, and perhaps the souls of others."
"I do not understand entirely, but I believe I understand. Will you be jealous?"
"Only if you comfort their hearts."
"I will need to learn the difference."
"It is my soul you have been comforting so far. My heart is not so raw."
"And you do not wish comfort for your heart?"
"Perhaps I do as well, but I do not believe I wish such comfort from you until you stop wondering if Nori and I have lied to you."
I rolled onto my back, staring at the dark ceiling. "I do not believe you have lied."
"But you wonder if perhaps this is all an act. Perhaps we are all coddling ourselves and fooling the villages."
"I imagine war is very brutal."
"I imagine it is," she said. "Two armies facing each other, angry steel between them. Our war with the demons is different."
"I have seen no one who looks maimed in battle."
"I have scars," she said. "So does Nori. You washed some of my scars today. Did you notice them?"
"My hands found places," I said.
"Roll back," she said. "Give me your hand."
I rolled onto my side, offering a hand. She took it, setting it on her stomach. "Can you feel it?" She moved my fingers back and forth, and I felt the knotted tissue.
"Yes."
"I was gored. I should have died. It was my third direct fight with a demon, and I froze. If I'd been alone, the demon would have had me then."
I moved my hand over the scar.
Then Malora took my hand and moved it to her leg, rubbing my fingers. "Training accident."
"Not a demon."
"No. It is my only scar from training. I have two others from childhood. One on my foot." She lifted a foot to me, squirming as she did so. "Along the bottom."
I couldn't find the scar amongst the callouses.
"You can look in the light," she said.
"What happened?"
"I was wading through a stream and cut it on a sharp rock. I was seven or eight. There's an accident from a knife when I was eleven, but you won't feel it over the callouses from fighting with sword and staff. It is here." She took my finger and traced it over her left palm.
"Do you have more from war?" I asked.
"Yes." She rolled over onto her stomach. "Left shoulder." I reached up. "Lower," she said. And then I found it.
"Puncture?"
"Yes."
"A sword did this?"
"Demon talon. Now, lower back on the right." And immediately I found four long scars.
"Demon talons?"
"Yes."
She rolled back. "There is also one on my bottom that is very embarrassing, and we do not know each other well enough for you to feel it tonight."
I laughed lightly. "How did you get it?"
"A demon threw me and I landed on my own knife."
I laughed louder. "You fell on your own sword?"
"Only my knife. My sword was buried in the demon's gut."
I lay quietly.
"None of these are proof," she said. "I could be lying about all of them."
"You could be. These-" and I dug my fingers under her, finding the ones on her lower back, "could be from bear claws."
"If so, it would be a very large bear."
"I have heard of very large bears," I said.
"Quite," she agreed.
We lay quietly for a while before she said, "You are not sleeping."
"Neither are you."
"I wish to ask a question."
"Of course," I agreed.
"Do you still feel like a prisoner of war? Or a slave?"
I thought about it. "I am not free to leave."
"Do you wish to leave?"
"I was bounty, delivered to your feet, trussed and helpless."
"You were. Do you wish to leave?"
"I made a promise."
"You also promised you would attempt to escape."
"I didn't promise that. I simply did not promise I wouldn't."
"Are you now suggesting that your vows tonight override that lack of a promise?"
I thought about her questions. "I don't know what I want anymore, Malora. I am still angry about how I was delivered to you.
Nori was unnecessarily cruel."
"So you are not angry with me?"
"You sent your raiders, and I hold you partly responsible for my treatment."
"I didn't want to
send raiders," she said.
"Nori did not wait for the food she claims my village owes."
"The elders agreed to send wagons, as did the elders of the other villages we visited.
"One tenth of all goods we produce."
"Two tenths for a while," she said. "More would cause hardship, but the western villages are rich in food."
"Poor in everything else."
"We do not ask for anything you cannot afford. We do not seek to impoverish anyone or cause hardship. It is our duty to suffer the hardship."
We lay quietly. My thoughts were in
turmoil. Having this conversation when I needed to sleep was ill timed.
"You have not answered my questions," Malora asked me gently.
"If you abuse me, you will not like the results."
"I have no intention of abusing you or allowing anyone else to do so. Do you intend to violate our laws?"
"I do not know your laws."
"You must obey me. You must also obey Nori. You must show respect to all the warriors. Our other laws are very similar to those you already know."
"And I must not run away."
"And you must not run away," she agreed.
"Then I am a slave, Malora, as are the other girls you took by force. But unlike Nori, you have not been cruel. You appear to believe you were forced into drastic measures. I have agreed to give you a chance to convince me. If you offered to release me, I would leave. But am I going to run away? I don't know anymore."
"Three days ago you would have run, and if you could have slipped a knife into Nori in the process, you would have done so.
"
"That was three days ago."
She caressed my arm. "Then I will consider this progress. If you roll over, I will rub your back for you."
"Should I not do that for you?"
"You have been through more changes than I have," she replied. "Soothing you will soothe me as well, and we shall both sleep."
I rolled over, lying on my stomach, and then I felt her hand on my back, tentative
at first as she discovered my outline, and then she scratched lightly.
"Thank you for treating me honestly," she said sof
tly. I mumbled something in response.
She was still scratching when I fell asleep.
Life at Queen's Town settled down the next morning. We rose early, as Malora wished to speak with the Amazons who were leaving for their own homes. I helped her dress then straightened the hut before stepping out in the morning sun, looking around.
There were not as many people as there had been last night. I saw Malora talking to one small group of women, Nori talking to another group. I saw companions saddling horses. I made a slow circuit of the clearing between all the huts, listening briefly to one conversation and then another. When I passed Nori, I set a hand on her arm. She turned to me in surprise.
"I would speak with you later," I told her.
She looked down at my hand still on her arm and raised an eyebrow. I didn't move my hand, and she didn't move away. Then I squeezed her arm and moved on. I completed my circuit, ending by walking up behind Malora. Somehow she knew it was me, and she reached out a hand, never looking at me. I set my hand in hers, and she pulled me to her. I leaned against her, and she squeezed my hand. This all happened without a hitch in the conversation she was having with two of the departing women. They were talking about patrol patterns, and I didn't understand a word.
But the women all glanced briefly at me, and I saw glimmers of smiles while the conversation continued.
Finally Malora hugged them, and they turned away.
Ten minutes later, the clearing was empty of everyone who didn't live at Queen's Town. It was much quieter.
"What did you say to Nori?"
I smiled. "Only that she and I should speak later."
"Oh?"
"Yes."
"You're not going to tell me?"
"Nope. I haven't decided myself what we are to talk about."
Malora laughed. "Only that you are to talk?"
"Yes. Now, what do I do about feeding you breakfast?"
She pointed. "That hut is the store room. It is not my custom to eat prepared foods for breakfast."
"So, fruit?"
"Dried meats and fish as well. Small amounts."
I stepped away from her, entering the storage hut and acquainting myself with the contents. In the end, I assembled a small b
asket of fruit and smoked fish and two mugs of cider. When I emerged, Malora was talking to Nori. I approached cautiously, standing several paces away. Malora held her hand out for me and I closed the distance.
"Why did you stop?"
"In case it was a private conversation."
"If ever I require privacy, I will tell you. What did you bring us?"
I handed one mug to Malora and held the basket out. Malora took a piece of fruit. I offered the second mug to Nori.
"You are not my companion," she said.
"Am I offending someone by offering?"
"No," she said. "You are not obligated to serve me."
"Are you afraid I am trying to poison you?"
She smiled. "No." She took the mug and a piece of the fish. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." I grabbed a piece of the fish as well, chewing slowly. I could tell it wasn't from Gallen's Cove; the flavor was different than when we smoked our fish. But it was good. I drank from Malora's mug, which caused both of them to smile.
"Was this mug intended for me when you brought it out?" Nori asked.
"I thought it highly likely I would find the two of you together," I said. "But if not, I would have kept it for myself."
"It is time for you to see the training grounds,"
Malora announced.
"I do not believe my shoulders are ready for strenuous activity."
"Neither do I," she said. "But they are ready for easier activity, and loosening up will feel good." She gestured then led the way past several of the huts and through a thin screen of trees. We arrived at a large clearing, somewhat larger than the paddock at the farrier’s in Gallen's Cove. There was a shed to one side, and in the center of the training grounds, a heavy wood post embedded in the ground. The top of the post was higher than I could have reached. To the right I saw an archery range. We were the first to arrive, but as I looked around, more Amazons joined us.
"Training usually starts every day after a light breakfast," Malora explained.
"We're a little late as we were seeing our sisters away."
I nodded understanding.
"In the shed," Nori added, "are the tools for training. Wooden swords, more staffs, target arrows, a few training bows, and the other accouterments of training."
"You will learn all of this, and as the senior companion, you will be responsible for overseeing the condition of the training grounds."
"That may change when I have a companion," Nori said, "as I am the head trainer for the village."
"Or it may not change," Malora said, "depending upon whom Nori finds as a companion. I would not put a young girl in such responsibility."
"What is the post for?" I asked, nodding towards it.
"Punishment," Nori explained.
I stared at it. "Oh." I'd never known anyone who had been whipped. I couldn't imagine it. "Does it get used often?"
"More than I would like," Malora said. "Amazons can be competitive, and sometimes that spills over."
"Discipline is critical," Nori explained.
I didn't tell them how barbaric this was. I hoped to never see the post used.
Nori stepped away and raised her voice. "Good morning, Sisters. We have been away, and some of us have grown flabby."
I looked around. No one looked flabby.
"We also have new sisters with us, sisters who are unaccustomed to Amazon ways." She looked around, her eyes settling on me and two other companions. "Today, we begin to teach them."
She
spoke for a couple more minutes, talking about physical and mental strength, stamina and drive. Then she looked directly at me. "How are your shoulders?"
I rotated my arms. "Stiff," I admitted. "It hurts to lift them above my head."
Then Nori explained how important it was for an Amazon to recognize her limits but to also seek to stretch them. "In other words, Maya, you will work your arms today, but you will not damage them."
I nodded.
She scanned all of us again, then she said, "We begin by becoming limber. Normally we pick a younger warrior to lead the exercises, as this is the path to leadership, but today I will do so."
And then we began to exercise, first with simple, easy stretching exercises. Malora assisted me and ensured I used proper form, also doing the exercises herself. I saw she pressed herself much further than she pressed me.
My heart was already pounding by the time we finished with the stretching, but then Nori led us in a run around the perimeter of the training grounds, just inside the line of trees. She set what I felt was a brisk pace, although not a full-out run. Malora ran easily alongside me, urging me to keep up, but by the time we had run once around the grounds, my heart was pounding out of my chest and I was wheezing like a tired horse.
Nori began a second circle, and halfway around, I thought I was going to die.
When she began a third circle, I slowed to a stop, but Malora said to me, "You must keep going."
"I can't," I wheezed. The other new companions had also stopped, all three of us leaning over, trying to breathe.
Their warriors were also talking to them quietly.
"You don't have permission to stop, Maya," Malora said. "Keep running."
"I can't," I said again.
"Maya. It's a whipping offense."
I looked up at her, and I could tell she was serious.
"Five lashes," she said. "You mustn't stop until Nori gives you permission or you fall unconscious."
"I thought an Amazon knew her limits. This is mine."
She turned away, running to the storage shed. When she returned, there was a whip coiled in her hands. She allowed it to uncoil as she ran back and gave it a well-practiced crack as she approached. All three of us companions stared at her.
"Are you sure this is your limit, Maya?"
"You wouldn't, not for this!"
"Right now, Maya, I am not your warrior. I am not your queen. I am not your friend. Right now, I am a demon, and if I catch you, it is going to be far worse than a whipping." She cracked the whip again. "Now. MOVE!" She cracked the whip, this time at me, and I felt a breeze as it missed me by inches. I turned around and ran, soon finding myself flanked by the two young companions, and each of them flanked by their warriors, the two warriors urging us to greater speed.
My heart pounding, I ran, and behind us,
Malora ran. Whenever I slowed down, even for a moment, the whip cracked, and once when I didn't speed up to her satisfaction, it lashed across my buttocks. I yelped and tried to run faster. She caught each of the girls once as well, and the three of us ran.
Nori and her troop of Amazons passed us, then she slowed down, running in front of us, setting a pace.
My vision narrowed until all I saw in front of me was Nori, leading us in circles. Then I stopped registering that we were going in circles. I stopped registering anything but my pounding heart, my burning lungs, and the sting of Maya's whip as she lashed me once more.
And then Nori was slowing, not to a walk, but slower, and I slowed with her. Behind me, I heard Malora come up behind me, and I flinched away from her, sure she was going to whip me again, but she said, "Peace, Maya."
Nori ran slower, and slower, finally walking, then turning around. "Do not collapse," she said. "Keep walking. Follow me." She walked backwards, watching us, and numbly, I followed her, stumbling, and then I fell, but Malora caught me, easing me until I knelt in the grass.
I realized I was crying.
It took a long time until my breathing fell under control, until my heart slowed. I glanced over at Maya. "You whipped me."
"Hardly anything," she said. "You needed incentive. You thought you knew your limits. I helped you find new limits. Do not be angry."
"You whipped me!"
"It was not a real whipping," she said. "It was only incentive."
"Incentive to escape," I said.
"Do not be like that, Maya," she said softly. "You weren't remotely near your limits. Even when Nori let you stop, you hadn't reached your limits, had you? If I'd been a real demon, could you have kept running?"
"I thought we fought the demons, not ran from them."
"Until you learn to fight them, you run from them."
"I have welts on my ass, I know I do."
"I have no doubt you do," she said, "but I didn't break the leather
of your leggings. You'll have more tomorrow if you don't run faster."
"You whipped me," I said again.
"If you find other incentives to recommend, I am willing to listen. But when I tell you to run, you will run."
"Yes, Queen Malora," I told her, and then I turned away.
She had whipped me.
Nori let us finish collecting our breath, but then she ordered us to stand up. Malora helped me to my feet. I turned to Nori, and she had a collection of
staffs. All the Amazons were holding them, and Nori passed out staffs to the new companions and their warriors.
She sent the experienced warriors and their companions to practice with the
staffs, putting one of them in charge. I thought our warriors would go with the experienced group, but they stayed with their new companions.
Nori taught us first how to hold the
staff, our warriors correcting us quietly.
Neela was one of the new companions. She was fourteen or fifteen and had the air of someone I would have kept an eye on in school. She twirled her
staff in circles in front of her, and her warrior reached out with her own staff, rapping the girl on her knuckles. She dropped the staff and protested the treatment.
But her warrior, a woman a year or two older than I was named Lidi, told her simply, "Stop screwing around. You are here to learn. And watch your tone with me, especially in front of Nori and the queen."
The girl opened her mouth to protest. Malora had coiled the whip on her belt, and I couldn't believe how quickly she could draw it. It was one motion, draw the whip, send it behind her, then crack! over Neela's head.
The girl jumped then spun to look at Malora. Malora wasn't even looking at her, but was already coiling the whip back to replace it on her belt.
"I love seeing new companions," she said quietly to me, "but you are all a pain in the ass, too."
I turned to her.
"You like doing that?"
"No," she said. "I do not. Do you think I enjoy hearing you cry out? Do you think I enjoy knowing I am the cause? But how do you think I would feel if you are undertrained, and I watch a demon take you from me?
I will whip you bloody before I will let you give up on your training. Do I make myself clear?"
I loo
ked her in the eye. "Yes." It was said coldly.