Always Something There to Remind Me (9 page)

I need a dictionary! I need to delete! I need a drink! … And then, from nowhere came the thought: I need Des! Of course, I didn’t really need any of those things, except the deletion. When I was a little girl Mum always told me I should never say ‘I need’ when I meant ‘I want’. I poured a generous measure of vodka into a glass and topped it up with lemonade. After a few sips, I deleted my garbled message and composed a proper reply, accepting Josh’s terms and thanking Angela for everything. I wanted so badly to share this with Des, but he was so far away. I didn’t even know if his mobile would work in New York, and I had forgotten to get a contact number from him. At last, after pacing the room for several minutes and jumping up and down on the sofa a couple of times to alleviate the excitement, I sent him a text message and hoped it would find him.

‘Keep Christmas Eve free. We’re going to see Alley Kat.’

An hour later I got his reply:
‘It’s a date! D x
’

Chapter 17: Christmas Shopping

I met Trudi in town after work on Monday. The plan was to do some Christmas shopping, but my heart wasn’t in it. It was still a week before payday and I didn’t have the funds to buy elaborate presents. I picked up some chocolates for the girls at work and bought iTunes vouchers for the twins. There was a pre-Christmas sale in one of the sports shops so I bought a football shirt for Eddie. I was going to drive down at the weekend to see them before they left for France. That only left Trudi and Des.

‘Is there anything you particularly want for Christmas?’ I asked when we stopped racing round, to take a break for refreshments.

‘Yes, as it happens,’ she said. ‘I’d love it if you invited me for Christmas dinner. I usually go to my sister’s, but I hate all the fuss and her husband drives me mad at times. I’d much rather stay close to home and spend the day with you.’

This was something I hadn’t considered. Spending Christmas at home didn’t mean I had to be alone after all.

‘Seriously? That would be great. Are you sure your sister won’t mind?’

‘Darling, I think she’ll be bloody delighted. I’m sure she only asks me out of a sense of duty anyway. I mean, with three teenagers in the house, who wants an extra guest anyway?’

‘That’s settled then. You’ll come to me for the day and I’ll prepare a feast.’

‘I could come the night before, if you like; maybe we could go to a carol service or something?’

‘Sorry, I’ve got plans for Christmas Eve. Des and I have to meet Josh Greenwood’s agent at the Alley Kat concert.’

‘Really? That’s incredible! I never thought that was going to happen. The whole website thing’s working then?’

‘It certainly is. Des is so good at that sort of thing.’

‘Is there anything Saint Desmond isn’t good at?’

‘Oh, don’t be like that … is that your mobile ringing?’

Trudi answered the call, ‘Hold on one moment,’ she said, then signalled to me that she was going outside. When she came back in she was smiling.

‘Now that was something else I wasn’t expecting.’ She looked pleased with herself.

‘You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you? OK, I’ll play. Why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?’

‘That call, my dear, was from Emilio.’

‘The dance guy? No way! And …?’

‘And … he’s taking me out for dinner tomorrow night.’

‘Wow, that’s a result, girl. Looks like you’ve got yourself a “toy boy”.’

Des called again when I got home. His sister’s condition continued to improve and he was still aiming to be home on Friday.

‘Have you done anything exciting?’ he asked.

‘Christmas shopping with Trudi,’ I replied. ‘Oh, she’s got a date with Emilio, by the way.’

‘Very nice. Who’s Emilio?’ I’d forgotten that Des didn’t know about the salsa night so I filled him in on the details.

‘And Trudi scored? What about you? Didn’t you have a crowd of handsome young Latinos clamouring for your number?’

I laughed. ‘Don’t be ridiculous; men never notice me.’

‘Don’t underestimate yourself; you have a lot going for you.’

‘Really? Like what?’ I was genuinely curious.

‘Are you fishing for compliments?’ he teased.

‘No … I …’ I was embarrassed now.

‘Never mind; I’ll tell you anyway. You have a lovely smile, beautiful eyes and a warm personality. If I saw you in a club I’d ask for your number.’

‘But that’s different …’

‘How is it different?’

‘You say that because we’re friends. If I was a stranger in a room full of beautiful women, I bet you wouldn’t notice me at all.’

‘So you don’t think I’m qualified to think you’re attractive because I’m your friend? I’d say that more than qualifies me. Remember, I’ve seen you at your worst, as well as at your best, and I still think you’re lovely. Now stop arguing; you know I’m right.’

I laughed. ‘Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.’

‘I’m truly
under
whelmed by your flattery. Now, I have to tear myself away and do my own Christmas shopping. I must buy at least one thing that has “I heart New York” plastered all over it.’

‘Of course you must. Take care, Des.’

‘Take care, Beautiful. Talk soon.’

Beautiful? Is he for real? Roll on Friday; it’s not the same without him.

* * * * *

I had an early night and dreamt about flying and singing and all kinds of nonsense. It was like being fifteen again, the spotty teenager who hoped one day to date a rock star.

I woke up before the alarm clock sounded and, as I showered, my thoughts drifted back to the phone call. I wondered how much significance I could place on the things Des had said. I couldn’t recall anyone ever telling me I was lovely or beautiful before. I was always just ‘Good old Lydia’ who was everybody’s pal but nobody’s dream girl. Even in the early days with Bob, he never really complimented me. I think he only married me because his mother thought I’d make a good wife and she wanted him out from under her feet. As time went by he stopped even pretending to be interested in me. I stayed because I loved him and that was what I was supposed to do. Happiness didn’t enter into it. Marriage is one thing, happiness is something else. It might have been different if we’d had children, but that didn’t happen, and in due course I fell out of love as he turned further and further away from me. When he eventually left me for someone else, the hurt was cushioned by the enormous sense of relief that it was over.

I arrived at work to be greeted by the news that Liz had gone down with appendicitis and wouldn’t be back in the office until sometime in January. I tried not to be pleased about her misfortune, but it meant that the last week before Christmas was going to be a lot less stressful for me. The day had started well and it got even better when I received a text message from Des.

‘4 a.m. here. Can’t sleep. Got your Christmas present. See ya, D x’

I smiled and set about my work with an idea beginning to form about what I could give him for Christmas.

Chapter 18: Welcome Home

I almost didn’t go to the writing group that Thursday, but I had nothing else to do and it was the last session before the holiday, so I forced myself to make the effort. It was strange being there without Des, but everyone was very relaxed and Tess had brought minces pies and party favours to make us feel festive.

‘I thought about bringing some mistletoe, but we wouldn’t want things to get rowdy with random kissing going on, would we?’ she joked.

‘We certainly wouldn’t,’ said one of the compulsive note-takers. I was inclined to agree. There was no one in the room that I felt like randomly kissing, even if it was almost Christmas.

We discussed poetry for half an hour and then Tess declared that we should spend the remainder of the evening ‘socialising’. As I was alone she came and sat with me.

‘Where’s your other half tonight? Have you left him at home for a change?’

‘What? You mean Des? He’s not … we’re not … I mean, we’re just friends. He’s in New York. He gets back tomorrow.’ I knew I was blushing, but I couldn’t help it.

‘Sorry, dear. I just assumed … well you’re always together. Silly me.’

‘It’s OK.’

‘So you’re just friends,’ she said. ‘And does the delightful Desmond have a wife or anything?’ I could see that her question was more than just polite conversation.

‘No. He’s single at the moment,’ I said. ‘We both are.’

Tess leaned towards me in a conspiratorial fashion.

‘Well, give me half a chance and he wouldn’t be alone for long,’ she whispered. ‘He’s such a sweetie. How on earth can you resist him?’

How indeed? She fancies him.

There was a strange tightening in my chest as I looked at her. She was about my age, slim and pretty with short dark hair and blue eyes. She always seemed so self-assured. I was positive she could get any man she set her sights on. I had to ask.

‘Are you married?’ I almost dreaded her answer.

‘Recently divorced from number three.’

I couldn’t help myself. ‘And already looking for number four?’ I tried to sound jocular.

‘Well, why not?’ She laughed. ‘I must go and mingle. Give my love to Des when you see him. I presume you will be seeing him soon?’ She got up and moved to join the group on the next table and was soon engrossed in conversation. I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and left, wondering why I suddenly felt such animosity towards Tess. I knew she meant no harm, but I had visions of her pouncing on Des and whisking him away when the meetings resumed in the New Year.

I can’t be jealous, surely?

Des called me at work on Friday morning as soon as his plane landed. He was going home to catch up on some sleep, but wanted me to go round after work.

‘I’ll be awake by then, so we can catch up. I need to get back to normality.’

‘OK, I’ll be there about six then.’

‘That’s cool. Oh and Lyd …’ He hesitated for a moment.

‘Yeah?’

‘Bring food. I’ve got nothing in the fridge and I’m too knackered to go shopping.’

‘Your wish is my command, sir.’ I tried to sound sarcastic, but I could tell he wasn’t fooled. He just laughed.

‘I love it when a woman knows her place,’ he said. ‘Jokes apart, Lyd, I’ll cook dinner as long as you bring some ingredients. Get minced beef and red and green peppers. I’ll make chilli. I’ll settle up with you when you get here.’

So, I had my instructions and I went to Asda after work. I arrived just after six. Des looked refreshed. He’d had a few hours’ sleep and his hair was still damp from the shower.

‘You smell gorgeous,’ I said as he hugged me.

‘Don’t I always?’ he asked, taking the shopping bag from me and heading towards the kitchen. ‘I’m ravenous; come and talk to me while I make dinner. I hope you like baked potatoes. That’s what I always have with chilli so I put a couple in the oven a while ago. We can eat in about half an hour.’

I watched as he chopped the onions and peppers and started throwing them into a saucepan with the meat. ‘You always said you couldn’t cook.’

‘I lied,’ he said, adding tinned tomatoes and kidney beans to the mix and liberal helpings of chilli powder and cumin. ‘I make the best chilli in the world.’

It wasn’t long before I discovered he was telling the truth.

‘So how’s your sister doing?’ I asked as we settled on the sofa after a splendid dinner.

‘On target for a full recovery, apparently. The doctors say she can go back to work in three weeks.’

‘That’s good. You must be relieved.’

‘I am. I’m glad we’ve sorted our differences too. I’ve missed her.’ He stared into his coffee cup for a while. I waited. If he wanted to tell me about it he would; if not – I wasn’t going to pry. Finally, he looked at me. ‘Thanks,’ he said.

‘For what?’

‘For not asking. I’ll tell you all about it one day.’ He got up and went into the study, returning a few minutes later with a package. ‘I got you a present.’

‘There was no need,’ I said. ‘Do I have to wait until Christmas to open it?’

‘No. Open it now. I’ve got you something else for Christmas.’

The package contained a red T-shirt with ‘I ♥ NY’ across the front. I couldn’t help laughing. ‘That’s great, Des. Thanks.’

‘Of course, I don’t expect you to actually wear it in public,’ he said. ‘But maybe you could sleep in it or something.’

‘I love it,’ I said and kissed his cheek. ‘But you really didn’t have to buy me anything.’

We spent the next hour catching up. I told Des about my conversation with Tess the previous evening.

‘It seems she has the “hots” for you,’ I concluded. Des looked horrified.

‘Lord above, that’s all I need. And you … you’re supposed to be my friend but you told her I was single? Couldn’t you just let her think we were a couple?’

‘Are you scared of her?’ I teased. ‘Do you need protection?’

‘She terrifies me and I need you to make sure she never gets me alone, OK?’ As I looked at him, his eyes twinkled and he could no longer keep a straight face. ‘So are you willing to fight to protect my honour?’

‘What would you have me do? Stand on deck to repel all boarders?’

‘I don’t believe you could ever be repulsive.’ He put his arm around me. ‘It’s good to be home. I missed you.’