Always on My Mind (23 page)

Jack stared at him, stunned by the sick and twisted hero complex. “You should shut up now,” he said. “Wait for your lawyer. You’re going to need him.”

Tim turned his head, pressing his cheek to the wall as his gaze locked with Leah still standing in the doorway. “She was next. Your woman was next.”

Leah staggered back into her grandma’s hospital room and sat heavily in the chair by the bed.

“Leah,” her grandma murmured. “Are you okay, honey?”

Before she could answer, Jack strode into the room and tugged her up to her feet and into his arms, as if he needed to hold her every bit as much as she needed to be held by him.

“Yes, Grandma,” Leah murmured, gripping him tight, proud that her voice didn’t wobble. She tightened her grip and breathed in the safeness and solidity that was Jack. “I’m okay.”

Leah was trying to sleep and having no luck when she felt someone slip into bed behind her. Warm, strong arms came around her.

“Jack,” she murmured. “You came.”

He kissed her shoulder, her neck. “Not yet. You first.”

She smiled, then moaned when his hand slid beneath the covers and under the T-shirt she wore. It was his; she’d stolen it years ago and worn it so often it was threadbare.

Jack cupped her bare breast and let out a low, inherently male sound of approval, when she arched into his touch. He didn’t say anything but she could feel the tension in him.

Immediately after Tim’s arrest, he’d had to go back to the scene. They’d gotten word through Luke that Max and his half brother weren’t involved with any of the arsons and cleared as suspects. Max had slunk out of town.

Tim wasn’t going to get so lucky. He’d smoked the cigarettes left outside the fire sites as he’d waited for his opportunities. He wore the same size shoes as the footprints found. And, according to what he’d admitted in interrogation, he’d done it all solely for the glory of being a hero.

Leah had been checked out by Dr. Scott—at Jack’s insistence, she’d discovered—and then had stayed with Elsie until visiting hours had ended. She’d called Rafe to say she needed a few extra days. Then Ali had taken her home, where she’d showered, crawled into bed, and…stared at the ceiling.

“You okay?” she asked Jack now.

“Tim’s being held on evidence that we presented to the judge.”

Not an answer to her question. She couldn’t imagine how hard it had been, arresting one of their own, and she glanced over her shoulder at him, finding his face shadowed with exhaustion and worry. His hands were touching as much of her as he could reach, gently roaming over every inch of her. “Are you wearing my shirt?”

“Maybe,” she said.

When he spoke again, there was a whisper of a smile in his voice. “You stole my shirt.”

“Maybe.” She tried to turn over, but his arms tightened on her and he buried his face in her hair. “Talked to Dr. Scott,” he finally said, his lips brushing the curve of her ear as he spoke. “You were treated for mild shock. How are you feeling?”

He was still touching her. His fingers brushed the front of her panties and she forgot the question.

“Leah?”

His front was plastered to her back. She fought the urge to turn and burrow into him, to inhale his scene and hold on forever. “I just can’t believe it was Tim,” she whispered with a shudder.

Jack stroked a hand up her arm, the warmth of him chasing the chill that wracked her. “You did good, Leah. You took a bad situation and held it together.” He was still tense, but she was pretty sure that was pride she heard in his voice. He was proud of her. He was also hard. “Jack?”

He pulled her tighter, his fingers trailing over her skin. “Yeah?”

“The rule,” she said softly. “The one where we’re done?”

He paused, clearly choosing his words carefully. “I was pissed off and butt hurt. And I was wrong. You’ve never misled me or tried to be someone you weren’t. Life is short, Leah. Too fucking short. It took me a while to catch on to that. I’m not going to make that mistake again.”

“What about the no big good-bye.”

His teeth closed over her earlobe and bit down lightly, and heat spiraled through her belly.

And lower.

“I remember,” he said.

“So…what are we doing?”

“New rule just for tonight,” he said. “I’m going to fuck you until you forget about what happened at the bakery,” he said. “And then I’m going to make love to you until you scream my name again. I really like it when you do that.”

She nearly came from just the words.

His fingers slid under the edge of her panties. “Still with me?”

“Y-yes.”

“I want you, Leah.”

Her heart squeezed at the words, given so freely. “Even though I hurt you? Even though I’m leaving? Even though—”

“Even though,” he said, voice low. “I don’t always agree with you, but I always understand. I want you in my life, Leah. That’s never going to change.”

Her breath hitched. Unconditional acceptance. It washed through her, heated her.

His cheek brushed against hers, sandpaper rough. “I know you don’t want a good-bye, and hell if I do either. So this isn’t good-bye. It’s an until. Until our paths cross. It’s happened before. It’ll happen again.”

Not a promise, and that was of her own making. She closed her eyes and took in the feel of him surrounding her, his heart beating at her back, his breath on her jaw. Did it matter?

His mouth was on the nape of her neck, his hands gliding over her body, stirring the desire, the all-consuming need. With a moan, she rocked back against him.

No promises. None were needed, she realized, and whispered his name entreatingly.

He dragged her panties down her legs and then his hand slid back between her thighs. She shivered as his fingers stroked, moving in a pace designed to drive her wild.

Or make her beg. Which at the moment she was perfectly willing to do. “Jack.”

He pulled free and she heard him open a condom, replacing his fingers with something even better. Sliding into her to the hilt, he bit lightly into the junction of her shoulder and neck, and she came.

“More.” His voice was gruff, and he thrust again, deeper. “Again.”

She could barely hear him over the rushing in her ears, though she did hear her own whimper when he pulled out. Lifting his weight off her, he rolled her onto her back. “This way,” he said. “I want to see you.”

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

“No, that’s you,” he murmured. Staring down at her, his gaze dark, determined, intense, he tugged her shirt over her head and slid back into her, making her cry out as he thrust right where she needed him. She rocked against him, her eyes fluttering closed with ecstasy.

“Leah, look at me.” When she did, he thrust again. His eyes seared into her. “Remember this.”

Did he think she wouldn’t? He was all she remembered. Always. “Jack—”

His hand slid between their bodies and found her, and she nearly arched off the bed. She met his every move as another wave washed over her, and through it all she kept her eyes open, let him watch as everything inside her peaked and convulsed.

She took him right along with her. His control snapped and he shuddered, groaning out her name. Shifting his hips, he grinded against her, sending more tremors rippling through her. “This, Leah. I’ll remember this. You. Always.”

Unraveling at his words, she wrapped her arms around him, her legs, and then, she was pretty sure, her heart as well.

T
wo days later, Leah stood at her parked car, surrounded by…everyone.

So much for a quiet good-bye.

Jack had spent most of the past two days at work dealing with the Tim fallout. They’d had no private time at all, and now their good-bye was going to be a public deal in front of Ben, Elsie, Dee, and half the town. Nothing she could do about that, she thought, not surprised when Jack took her hand and pulled her aside.

“Not fair,” Lucille called out. “We can’t hear you.”

Jack’s amused but solemn gaze met Leah’s. “So,” he said.

“So.” She sucked in some air. “Love me forever?”

“And ever,” he said. No smile.

Shaken, she stepped into him for a hug. “It really doesn’t matter to you that I didn’t win
Sweet Wars
, does it?” she whispered, holding on to him tightly. “Or that I screwed up. You really don’t care about any of that. You know the core of me, of who I am, and you still put up with me.”

“Leah.” He slid his fingers into her hair, cupping the back of her head as he pressed his mouth to her temple. “You know all of my dark places, and you accept them. You accept me. So why is it so hard for you to believe that I know yours and accept them as well? You’ve been a part of my life for so long, one of the most important parts. That’s what I care about. Not you quitting some TV show, but that you don’t quit me.”

Her breath caught. Her heart hitched. “But I have to go do this.”

“I know. It’s okay. Whatever you want to do, school, open a pastry shop, or nothing at all… That’s not why I love you. And I do love you, Leah. I want you to know that before you leave. Not to change your mind, but to take with you.”

The marvel of it washed over her and was better than the straight shot of the oxygen mask had been. That he felt this way was no surprise, not really. He’d been showing her how much he loved her in one form or another since the day she’d moved in next door to him.

Having grown up as she had, she knew the expression of emotions was all in the actions, not the words.

But the words…oh, the words. They were the most amazing words she’d ever heard. Getting into her car and driving off was the hardest thing she’d ever done.

As the dust settled from Leah’s car, Lucille patted Jack on the arm.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Of course you are. You’re an idiot, but you’re fine.”

Ben, at his side, choked out a low laugh.

When Jack slid him a look, Ben lifted a shoulder. “She’s right, you know. You are an idiot.”

“Yeah? And how’s that?”

“You let her go.”

Jack buried himself in work, and when he wasn’t snowed under by all the work Ronald had left him, Luke and Ben dragged him out. They ate and drank so much he had to increase his workouts, which turned out to be for the best.

Exhaustion was the only way to sleep.

Leah wrote him. She sent emails, texts, and even a few greeting cards that made him smile.

He wasn’t as good with the written word, so he called. The time difference was a bitch, but they spent hours on the phone talking about…hell if he knew.

He just liked the sound of her voice.

She often asked about his mom, who was doing well, thanks to Ronald. She asked about her grandma, who was also doing well. She asked about Jack’s work, and how the transition to deputy fire chief and fire marshal was working out for him, better than he could have hoped for. “Leah,” he said halfway through her last semester. “I miss you.”

There was a thick silence, and then her shuddery sigh sounded across the airwaves. “Miss you too.”

“Wow, you didn’t choke on it,” he said, teasing her by mimicking her grandma’s words.

“Or this,” she said, and drew in a deep breath. “I love you, Jack.”

He let a stunned beat pass, and then he had to swallow hard. “We pretended to be a couple for an entire town, you nearly died by the hand of a serial arsonist who wanted to date you, and then there was the big, dramatic good-bye we didn’t want, and you never said a word. Now you’re, what, twenty million miles away and you say it?”

“Five thousand miles.” She laughed a little. “And timing was never my strong suit.”

No kidding.

Leah did what she’d promised and committed to doing. She finished school. And surprising even herself, she enjoyed it.

She didn’t have to be the best to be
her
best. All she had to do was be herself.

Rafe made her an offer.

“I’ve been asked to get you to renew your contract,” he said. “The network wants to keep you on board. You’re a natural in front of an audience, and the camera loves you. The network wants to follow you as you open up your own pastry shop.”

It was a sweet offer. But the last time she’d truly been happy had been in Lucky Harbor, with Jack. He loved her, and she understood what that meant now.

How had she walked away from that?
“No,” she said to Rafe. “Thank you, but no.”

“No?” Rafe sighed. “Fine. What’s it going to take?” A ten percent raise?”

“Again, thank you. But I can’t.” She had something she wanted to do. Needed to do. For the first time in her life, she had a plan. She had revisited that plan in her mind every day for three months—knowing exactly the life she wanted for herself, and she was going for it.

“Listen,” Rafe said. “I get it, okay? We’re prepared to double your contract, but that’s our last, cold, hard line, Leah. Take it or leave it. And let’s be clear, we expect you to take it.”

She shook her head, pushed his big, fancy contract back at him, and walked away.

“Where you going?”

“Home.”

“You don’t have one.”

Maybe not. But that was simply a technicality. She knew where home was. Truthfully, she’d always known.

A day and a half later, she pulled into Lucky Harbor. It was dusk. It’d rained, making everything shiny and wet. The strings of white lights on the storefronts and in the tree-lined sidewalks glistened in the fading light like…

Home.

She drove by the senior center and slowed. The lot was completely packed, but what caught her eye was the fire truck, front and center.

She recognized that fire truck and knew exactly who’d be inside. Heart already thumping in anticipation, she parked and entered the building beneath a huge sign:
SAFETY AWARENESS NIGHT
.

The main room was packed to the gills, and up front stood Jack and Kevin. The former was giving a safety speech. The latter was snoozing at Jack’s feet, sprawled on his back, feet straight up in the air like a three-day-old carcass.

Unlike when Leah had once come to the senior center to give a cooking lesson, none of the seniors were napping or playing on their phones. In fact, everyone was riveted. Elsie was there, sitting next to Mr. Lyons.

Leah gave her a big hug. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “But there’s something I have to do before I can talk to you.”

“Go get him, honey,” Elsie said.

Leah realized the room had gone so silent she could have heard a pin drop.

Kevin gave one exuberant, joyous bark and leaped at her, knocking her back a step in his exuberance.

“Good boy,” she said, giving him a hug too.

Jack stood still at the front of the room, watching her with an unreadable face.

She waved at him.

His smile came slow and warm, and everyone craned their necks like they were watching a tennis match. “You’re home,” he said.

Some of the tension left her, but not all, because he still wasn’t giving much away. Not that she expected him to in front of their captive audience. Plus, it was her turn to give it all away. To give him everything. “I’m home.”

He gave her a finger crook, the universal sign for “come here.” She glanced at the crowd avidly soaking up her every move.

“Ignore them,” Jack said. “You’re only surrounded by fifty of Lucky Harbor’s finest gossips. Everything you say here will be repeated and posted on Facebook.”

“And tweeted,” Lucille called out. “I’ve found the Twitter.”

“I thought ‘tweet’ was a female body part,” one of the seniors said, sounding confused.

Anxious but holding her gaze steadily on Jack, Leah walked up the center aisle toward him.

“Damn,” she heard Lucille whisper. “Siri, remind me to download the bride’s march song on my iPhone.”

“Wait. She’s back?” someone else asked, sounding confused. “I thought she ran off.”

“She didn’t run off, you moron.” This from Elsie. “She went back to school. Don’t any of you read Facebook?”

Leah stopped at the foot of the stage and looked up at Jack. “I was wrong,” she said.

Jack curled a hand around his ear, like he hadn’t caught her words.

“
I was wrong
,” she repeated.

“Oh, I heard you.” He smiled. “I just like the sound of the words on your lips.”

The crowd tittered at this. Ignoring them, Jack reached down and gripped Leah by the wrist, easily lifting her to the stage. “And not that I don’t love those words, but what were you wrong about?”

“Walking away from you.” She stepped into him. “I’m done with that, by the way. I’m walking straight at you from now on.”

Around them came a collective “aww,” and Jack’s smile spread to his eyes as he finally pulled her into his arms.

Over his shoulder she could see her grandma beaming, and Kevin sitting in Lucille’s lap. Lucille was handing over money to Mr. Lyons.

“They were betting on whether you were going to break my heart or not,” Jack told her. “The stakes got so high I even put in my own bet.”

“Which way did you bet?” she asked.

Mr. Lyons walked to the front of the room and slapped some twenties into Jack’s palm and then stomped back to his seat.

“Let’s just say I won,” Jack said easily. And then he bent and kissed her to the whoops and hollers of their delighted audience.

“I wouldn’t mind a kiss like that,” Leah heard Lucille say.

“Me either,” Elsie said, and then squeaked in delighted surprise when Mr. Lyons pulled her close and gave her a smacking kiss right on the lips.

Against her, she could feel Jack shake with laughter just as he scooped her up and slung her over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.

The crowd ate this up, especially when Jack turned and flashed them a grin. “Excuse us,” he said. “We need a minute in private.”

“Well that’s no fun,” Lucille complained as Jack strode out of the room, down a hall, and into the first room they came to—the dining room.

He set her down on the counter that ran along one wall, pinning her there with a hand on either side of her hips as he looked into her eyes. “Hey.”

Everything within her flooded with affection, need…love. “Hey.” She cupped his face. Beneath her fingers, his face was rough with at least a day’s growth. She wanted to feel it against her bare skin. “Last time I was home you asked me when I was going to realize that I deserve to be happy.” She paused. “Now,” she said. “I realize it now. I deserve it,” she said softly.

The very corners of his lips curved, and what might have been pride came into his expression. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I know something else I deserve,” she told him.

“What?”

“You. I’m in love with you, Jack. And you’re in love with me too.”

There was a very slight quirk at the corners of his mouth. “You sound pretty sure.”

“I’ve never been so sure of anything.” She gave him a nudge, hopped down off the counter, and pushed him into a chair. “So you might as well give in now.”

“You think so, huh?”

She climbed into his lap. “I really do.”

Someone knocked on the door.

“Lucille,” Jack called out, not taking his gaze off Leah. “This conversation is off limits. Go practice your safety techniques. There’s going to be a quiz.”

“Oh!” She squealed in delight through the door. “I love quizzes.”

And then there was blessed silence.

“So,” Jack said. “Back to this you love me thing.”

She pressed closer and slid her fingers into his hair. “I do love you, Jack. I don’t want to be without you.”

“Neither do I.”

Hearing the true emotion in his voice, in the grip he had on her, she felt herself begin to let loose of the last of the tension in her gut.

“New rule,” he said. “No more rules.”

She smiled. “And if I agree to this ‘no more rules,’ what’s in it for me?”

“Me.”

She felt the smile burst full bloom across her face. “Well, if that’s not the best offer I’ve ever had,” she said.

He was grinning as he kissed her until she was dizzy.

“Come on,” he said, and then stood up with her still wrapped around him.

“Wait!” she said, panicked, when he headed toward the door.

“Oh no you don’t,” he said, tightening his grip on her. “Not now, not when I finally have you where I want you.”

“And where is that?”

“With me.” He stepped back into the front room, and everyone clapped until he held up a hand for silence, letting Leah slide down his body. “We have an announcement.”

“We do?” Leah said, her world spinning out of control, like a dream. The best dream she’d ever had.

“We do.” He brought their entwined hands up and brushed his mouth across her knuckles as everyone in the room leaned forward in unison, straining to catch his next words.

“What?” Lucille finally demanded. “What’s the announcement?”

Jack smiled at Leah. “We’re taking this relationship off the radar.”

“Well dammit,” Lucille said as the rest of the room groaned.

Ignoring all of them, Jack tugged Leah into his side, kissed her softly, and smiled into her eyes. “Class dismissed,” he said.

And then kissed her again.

And again…