Always & Forever (18 page)

Lilly swallowed. Someone
had
shown up on her doorstep, judging by the flowerbed. “What did you want to ask me?”

“I wondered how things were between you and Zach. I hoped we could go out to dinner or maybe a movie.” Crandall turned his head to whisper into her ear. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you since we met.”

The touch of his breath caressing her face paralyzed Lilly with fear. She stumbled when he took another step forward. He kept a hold of her arm, yanking her back to her feet. Crandall wrapped his arms around her and drew her close to his chest.

“Are you okay?” he asked, squeezing her tightly. “I didn’t mean to knock you over.”

Lilly stood helpless in his arms, hating the feel of his touch and the terror it provoked. A tear slipped down her face and she struggled weakly in Crandall’s embrace.

“Lilly? What’s wrong?”

His arms became tighter and tighter, vice-like, crushing her against him.

“Please, let go of me,” she begged.

“I didn’t know a hug was such a horrible thing.” Crandall’s arms dropped and he stepped away from her. His lips formed a prim line and his hard eyes glittered with anger. “You obviously don’t want me. I thought we could have fun together.”

Lilly shook her head and took a few deep breaths, grateful he released her but saddened at causing him grief. The poor guy lost his true love years ago and now looked for a new relationship. Really, it was flattering he found her attractive. “It has nothing to do with you. I have a hard time with anyone touching me.”

The anger slid from his face. “I’d hoped it would be different with me.”

Lilly reminded herself this man wasn’t Charles as her heart rate slowed to normal. Crandall wasn’t about to cause her harm. “I have a hard time in the beginning with new people. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

He shrugged. “Don’t worry. How ‘bout we start over? Let’s grab a cup of coffee. No pressure, simply a meeting of friends.” His fingers slid gently across Lilly’s hand, barely contacting her skin. “Perhaps, given time, you could come to appreciate my touch. Crave it even.”

Though she no longer owed anything to Zach and was free to date whomever she pleased, Lilly could never see herself dating Curtis Crandall. Something about his demeanor put her on edge in a way she would never be able to get over. He reminded her faintly of Charles, Lilly realized. His nose and eyes were a similar shape. She shuddered and shook her head. It would never work.

“I’m sorry, Curtis. I’m not certain where I stand with Zach yet,” she lied. “Maybe in a few months, if you’re still interested and I’m single, we could try then?” By that point, he would have moved on to a new woman and forgotten about her, but at least she didn’t have to reject him again and risk hurting him further.

Crandall pulled a card out of his wallet and handed it to her. “Here’s my number if you change your mind sooner than that.” He stroked her face with gentle fingers. “I wish Zach hadn’t found you before I did. I hope he doesn’t hurt you too much.”

Relief flooded through her when he dropped his hand from her face. Lilly watched Crandall walk toward the entrance of Woodbridge Manor. Although she knew it wasn’t his fault he reminded her of Charles, she would avoid Curtis Crandall at all costs in the future.

Zach stared at Lilly’s neatly trimmed yard and waited for her to get home. Would she even talk to him? Would she listen to his apology and believe he meant it? According to Lilly’s story, Charles hurt her all the time, often followed by an insincere apology. Zach didn’t want her to see him as that type of man.

Her silver Escort finally pulled into the driveway. Zach rushed to open her door. He tried to ignore the gnawing ache inside him as he awaited her reaction.

She stared at him with wide eyes. “What are you doing here?”

She looked shocked, surprised maybe.

Please don’t let her be angry.
Zach held his hand out to her. “Can we pretend I said everything you needed to hear last night and move on?”

Lilly accepted his hand and swung her legs out of the car.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and pulled her to her feet. He tentatively caressed her shoulder. “I know you didn’t kill anyone. But if Charles were still alive, I’d be tempted to.”

Lilly stared deep into his eyes, and Zach felt she measured him somehow, judged him.

Moisture misted the corners of her eyes. “You really believe me?”

“From the second we met, I’ve trusted you. I know you’re telling the truth.”

“But why are you here?” she asked. “No matter how good a person you are, there’s no way you’d want a woman like me.” She closed her eyes and her lower lip trembled. “No one will.”

“Only a fool wouldn’t want to be with you.” He leaned down, praying she wouldn’t reject him, and brushed his lips lightly against hers. “There’s
nothing
wrong with you. Don’t ever think that.”

Lilly leaned into him, sighing as she moved. “Thank you for saying that.”

The knot of tension clutching Zach’s heart released its hold. She hadn’t turned him away.

She captured his bottom lip in her mouth and sucked on it. Her hands ran through his hair, and her tongue entered his mouth. After a long while, she pulled away and smiled. “This is definitely a day of surprises.”

She forgave him. She still wanted him. He hadn’t ruined everything.

“You’ve had more surprises?” he asked.

“Come on inside, and I’ll tell you about my day with your grandmother.” She shut the car door and put her hand in his. “I could whip up some hamburgers for dinner. Are you hungry?”

He stroked his thumb across hers and clasped her hand tightly. No questions, no fighting—not even a guilt trip. Lilly just took his hand and wanted to be with him. He smiled at her. “I’m ravenous.”

***

“I talked to your grandma today about my past,” Lilly said, as she pulled the sizzling hamburgers off the hot burner. “And Margaret still wants me to work for her.”

“That has to be a relief,” Zach said from his position next to her. “Though I’m not surprised. She really does care about you.”

Lilly would never tire of hearing someone cared for her. The fact that Margaret correctly guessed Zach’s reaction shouldn’t have surprised Lilly, but it did. Finding him waiting on her lawn was the best gift ever. His eyes held no pity. Lilly only sensed guilt and sorrow, but not pity. Best of all, he believed in her.

Zach even insisted on helping make dinner. He’d rinsed the Romaine lettuce and mutilated an onion while Lilly made the patties. She concentrated on her own task, forcing herself not to correct him or offer any suggestions. For the last few minutes, he’d worked very hard at cutting a tomato. Four enormous slices sat on the glass cutting board, and Zach stood back with a satisfied air.

Lilly turned to conceal the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. He hadn’t been joking—he was hopeless in the kitchen. Not a single piece was anywhere near the same size, but that didn’t matter. He’d put in a lot of effort, and it would taste perfect.

There was something comforting about cooking with Zach, almost as if they were a couple sharing their home. She felt herself slip back into the fantasy and didn’t try to stop it.

The experience in the parking lot with Crandall seemed a distant memory, and she decided not to mention it to Zach. It would spoil the happy mood and upset him, and she didn’t want to do that.

She pulled some pre-sliced cheddar out of the refrigerator and waved it in his direction. “Do you want cheese melted on your burgers?”

“Sure.” He walked to the sink and rinsed off the knife he’d used. “I’ve done all the damage I can to the tomato.”

Lilly popped slices of cheese onto each patty. She raided the refrigerator for pickles, mustard and ketchup, and retrieved the hamburger buns from the bread drawer.

“There are chips in that cupboard above your head.” She pointed to the correct one. “Do you mind if we eat those instead of a salad?”

Zach’s sexy grin flashed across his face and Lilly’s heart skipped a beat.

He opened the cupboard and grabbed the chips. “Lilly, if given the choice of taking a scenic tour down the River Seine, having chateaubriand and a bottle of burgundy, or being with you, right here, right now, I’d choose you.”

Pleasure flowed through her body. It was definitely her lucky day. Perhaps she should have skipped the onions. They weren’t exactly conducive to romance, and she really wanted Zach to kiss her again.

They stood side-by-side at the counter, slathering condiments on their hamburger buns. He didn't touch her, but Lilly felt the heat from his body. His subtle cologne filled her senses, and she inhaled deeply.

“I have to admit, your grandma surprised me today,” she said, in an attempt to get her mind on anything besides how badly she wanted to shove Zach up against the counter and kiss him until she was breathless.

“How’s that?”

She grabbed one of the huge tomato slices and a piece of lettuce. She skipped the onions and flipped a burger onto her bun. “Margaret already knew everything about me. I didn’t have to explain myself at all. She made it clear I’m too naïve, since I thought she wouldn’t already know about my past.”

“She never mentioned anything to me,” he admitted.

He scooped two burgers out of the pan to put on his plate. Lilly noted he skipped the onions too. Maybe his thoughts headed the same direction as hers. She snagged the bag of chips off the counter and walked to the dining table, already set with iced tea and napkins.

“I said some pretty horrible things to her,” Lilly admitted when Zach sat next to her.

“You said horrible things to Grandma and lived to tell about it?”

“I couldn’t figure out why she would set you up with someone like me.” Lilly’s shame burned her cheeks. “I don’t get it. She...she expects us to get married!”

“I know.” Zach took a bite of his hamburger.

“What do you mean?” She cringed at the waspish tone of her voice.

Zach chewed for a few seconds and took a drink. “Grandma’s not a subtle person. I knew what she was doing. I figured I could handle it.”

Lilly thought that over as they ate in silence. How would he handle it? He said before he wanted to move their relationship past decoy status, but it sounded as though he had no intentions of something permanent. She knew plenty of guys were only interested in sex, and not at all concerned with feelings or love. She’d been so sure Zach wasn’t one of those types.

Lilly sighed. She
was
naïve. Zach didn’t want anything more from her than a good time until he headed back to Seattle in January. Well, possibly a few trips around her bedposts.

“Do you think you’ll ever fall in love again, Zach?” she whispered after the last of their hamburgers was gone. "Or is your love for Victoria still too great to allow you to think about that?”

“Is that what you think?” He shook his head. “We need to talk about my marriage.”

What was she thinking? Lilly didn’t want to talk about Victoria. She didn’t want Zach thinking about his dead wife, perhaps counting all the ways Victoria was superior.

“Never mind.” She leaned across the space between them and kissed his cheek. “Let’s change the subject.”

“I need to tell you why I married Victoria. Sarah warned me that thoughts of my marriage might upset you.”

“Upset me?” Lilly forced herself to laugh. “Don’t be silly.”

“Lilly—” Zach’s phone rang, cutting him off. He looked down and grimaced. “It’s my mom. I’ll let it go to voice mail.”

Perfect timing, Patricia. “No, no. Answer it. What if it’s important?”

Zach sighed and flipped open the phone. “Hello, Mother.”

Lilly stood and put the food away, as she listened to his side of the conversation.

“Yes...No, I’m with her now.”

She turned to him and held her hands up. "What does she want?" she whispered.

Zach shrugged and held up his index finger. “Sure, you can talk to her.”

Lilly reluctantly put the phone to her ear. Maybe her luck was about to change. Perhaps Margaret took it upon herself to tell Zach’s family about Lilly’s identity. “Hello, Patricia.”

“So glad I got a hold of you, dear.” Patricia’s well-modulated voice didn’t sound upset.

“What can I do for you?”

Patricia’s fake titter of laughter came over the line. “You never sent me the ingredients for lasagna. I really need that list. Unless, of course, you’ve changed your mind.” Patricia cleared her throat. “There’s nothing wrong, is there? Perhaps you and Zach don’t have as much in common as you thought. After all, you’re the personal assistant of his grandmother.”

She certainly didn’t pull any punches. Apparently, she’d reconsidered inviting Lilly to make the meal.

Lilly took a deep breath. “Don’t trouble yourself worrying about us. We’re terrific. Sorry for the delay on the grocery list. I’ll make it right now.” She tried to affect the sweet tone Patricia’s voice carried. “Zach’s going to be here for a while, but I’ll have him drop it off on his way home.”

If Lilly’s words upset Patricia, she made no indication. “If you’re sure...I guess I’ll see you Saturday.”