Always Conall (Bitterroot #2) (18 page)

“When?” she asked me.
“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s Monday, monkey, and you’ve got your art day camp all week,” Sage said gently.
“Maybe next weekend, if it’s okay with your dad.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I smiled at Sage, then down to Mattie. “So you go eat dinner with your mommy. And I’ll come pick you up in a couple days to go out there, okay?”

“Yippee!” Mattie exclaimed, and jumped up to wrap her arms around my neck.

“Okay, go eat your dinner now,” I said, giving her a quick little squeeze. As I straightened, I glanced back over at Sage, and she offered me a tremulous smile. “Bye, honey,” I murmured.

Her quiet goodbye echoed through my mind all the way outside and back to the ranch.

And into my dreams that night.

Sage

“Mattie,” I called into the living room, “come eat your cereal.”

No answer.

“Hey, monkey,” I looked around the entryway to the kitchen to see her pressing her little nose against the living room window, looking out into the street below. “What are you doing?”

“When is he gonna be here?”

“Pretty soon, but you have to eat your cereal so you’re ready to go.”

Begrudgingly, she shuffled back into the kitchen to sit at the table. Halfway through her bowl, a knock sounded at the door and with a squeal she was up and running.

“Mattie, wait,” I called out after her, “let me make sure I know who it is first.”

Surprisingly, she waited. Granted, she jumped up and down squealing
“Hurry, hurry, Mommy!” the whole time. But she did wait.

A glance through the peephole revealed it was indeed Conall. My breath caught in my throat a little. I had to quit that shit. Things were going good. We were on the same page.
Friends… for Mattie. Keeping things completely innocent. On the outside anyway. Inside, I ached for him. I dreamed of him. Inside, I craved him.

I took a deep breath and pulled the door open, smiling as Mattie threw herself at him, hugging him tightly around the leg.

“Daddy!”

Every time I heard her say that, my heart got a little tight.

“Hey, how’s my little girl?” he grinned as he smoothed her bangs back from her head.

And every time I heard his voice, my whole body squeezed a little tighter.

Okay, friends. Come on, Sage. You can do this.

Conall smiled at me. “Hey,” he murmured.

My breath totally caught for a split second. “Hi,” I forced out. “She’s really excited about this… in case you couldn’t tell. She’s barely talked about anything else for days.” I chuckled, hoping it came off more nonchalant than I felt.

“Do I get to ride a horsey?” Mattie asked exuberantly, bouncing up on the balls of her feet.

“Sure do,” Conall grinned as he held up a Murdoch’s bag containing a medium-sized box. “I even brought a present for you.” He looked back at me for a minute. “I hope they fit. I sorta had to guess and went a little bigger than I thought, but we could stop by Murdoch’s on the way out if they’re not right.”

As he held open the bag, I glanced at the size listed on the box. “They should be fine,” I assured him.

Conall slipped the package from the bag and handed it to Mattie who immediately plopped down on the floor and lifted the lid.

“Oh
my gosh!” she whooped as she held up sparkly purple Fatboy cowgirl boots. “Aaaaaaaahhhh!” Frantically, she shucked off her tennie runners, and slipped her feet in. “I’m never taking them off! Ever!”

“
Do they fit okay?” I asked. “Are they big enough?”

“
Perfect!” she exclaimed. They did look a tidge big, but we’d probably never be able to get them off her. Plus, she was growing like a weed, so it wouldn’t be long before they actually were perfect.

“Okay, go grab your jacket and backpack, monkey,” I laughed and turned back to Conall as Mattie clomped off in her new boots. “She’s got some snacks in her pack. A couple juice boxes and stuff, so she should be pretty set.”

For a moment, Conall just looked at me, then kind of shook his head as though to clear his thoughts. “You should come with us.”

Surprised by his invitation, I stuttered a little with a response. “I, um… I don’t know, Conall. I don’t want to intrude on your time with her.”

“You wouldn’t be. You know she’d love to have us both there, and I think you might have fun, too.” His smile was tempting me. The carefree light in his eyes reminded me of that boy I’d loved so long ago. “Come on…” he prodded. “Come with us.”

My mouth had gone dry.
Spending the whole day with him. Out on the ranch watching him do ranch stuff. When I’d gone out there with him and Matt in the past, I’d always come home twice as in love with him as I’d been when we left. Something about that setting fed the romantic ideas in my mind, building them up and breathing new life into those daydreams I’d tried to repress since forever.

“Mommy’s coming too?” Mattie asked as she dragged her backpack behind her back into the living room. Looking up at me, she grinned. “Are you gonna ride a horsey too?”

“I don’t really know that—” I began.

“I think your mommy needs convincing, Mattie,” Conall laughed.

“Please, Mommy,” Mattie began to beg. She grabbed my hand and began to pull, jumping up and down a little to emphasize just how badly she wanted me along. “Please, please, please, please, please.”

“Mattie,” I started again.

“But Mommy,” she interrupted, “I’m saying please.”

“I know you are, monkey, but—”

“She’s saying please,” Conall interjected. I shot him a dirty look that made him chuckle. “Come on, Sage. Come with us.”

“Come on, Mommy. Come with us,” Mattie parroted. And then she started with major puppy dog eyes, beseeching me with another last little high-
pitched, “Please, please, please.”

So I totally caved. “Fine,” I said with an exaggerated sigh of defeat that made Mattie giggle.

“Yay!” she exclaimed, bouncing up and down in her little purple boots. “Mommy’s coming!” Still holding onto my fingers, she snagged Conall’s with her other hand and began to pull us towards the door. “Let’s go! Let’s go!”

Mattie’s excitement was rather contagious. In spite of how agonizing it would be to just be so close to Conall all day, I laughed at her impatience.

But I about fainted when Conall put his hand on my hip to guide me through the door.

Agonizing.

Conall

As Sage had figured, Mattie
loved
the ranch. She about exploded with excitement at the first sign of a cow, and she squealed with delight when she spied the barn, especially with the foal in the adjoining corral. The foal was our first stop.

“What’s his name?” Mattie asked in wonder as she gazed into the young foal’s eyes and I showed her how to hold her hand really flat to allow him to sniff her palm.

“He has a big long name that I can’t quite remember off the top of my head,” I replied, “but we just call him Snickers.”

“Hi, Snickers,” she cooed as she carefully stroked the colt’s velvety nose.

I looked over to see Sage reaching up to scratch the mare behind her ears. Almost as though they were finding common ground with their roles as mothers. A slight smile touched her lips as the sorrel horse leaned into Sage’s hand, a look that mirrored Mattie’s own expression with the foal.

And just for a minute, I imagined that this was my reality.
My every day.

Because I kind of wanted it to be.

“So, Mattie,” I finally said, “you want to go for a ride?”

“I want to ride the baby!” Mattie turned quickly, frightening the little foal with her sudden movement. The colt jumped away and kicked his legs out wildly, and Mattie giggled at his antics.

“Well,” I told her, “he’s just a little guy. His little spindly legs wouldn’t hold you, but we’ve got a few other horses that you could ride on the other side of the barn.”

Mattie was ecstatic, but well-behaved, following my directions not to kick or squeal too much and to hold on tight to the saddle horn. She sat before me on the horse, settled against my chest, and reveled in the short little horseback ride around the field. As we returned to the barn, I saw Jacob talking to Sage, a gap-toothed smile on his face.

“Hey, Conall,” he grinned, “I was just telling Sage here about the puppies. I bet Mattie would love to see them.”

“Puppies?”
Mattie exclaimed in wonder as Sage lifted her down from the horse. Mattie zipped straight to Jacob and smiled up at him beseechingly. “I want to see the puppies!”

“
Okay, short stuff,” he laughed, then he looked back up at me. “I’ll take her down there if you want to give Mattie’s mom a ride, too.” Jacob glanced back down to Mattie as they started towards the house. “They’re the cutest little pups you’ve ever seen.”

“Conall,” Sage quickly informed me as soon as they stepped away, “I don’t need to ride.”

“Come on, Sage,” I teased. “Live a little.”

“I ha
ven’t been on a horse in years,” she laughed. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“
You used to love horseback riding. We could barely get you off them,” I reminded her. Guiding the horse closer, I lowered my voice and held out my hand. “Get your ass up here, Sage. Unless,” I paused, eying her playfully, “you’re a chicken.”

Sage gave me a look of mock outrage.
“Chicken? I am not a chicken.”

“Bawk, bawk,” I mimicked in a deadpan voice, hoping this worked. Sage always rose to the bait when we were kids. I hoped she would now.

Finally, after rolling her eyes with a laugh, she stepped up to the horse and grasped my outstretched hand. I pulled my foot out of the stirrup so she could place her foot in it, and I easily pulled her up behind me. For just a second, I inhaled deeply as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Being this close was killing me, but I loved it and thanked every god there ever was for giving me this moment. As the horse began to move, her hold tightened, and I placed my hand over hers.

“Don’t worry, honey,” I chuckled. “I won’t let you fall.”

“I’m fine,” she swallowed hard, slightly breathless. A thrill shot through me at the tone of her voice, the quaver that tickled so close to my ear. Because that suggested to me that she was as affected as I was.

“
Just hold me tight,” I gently said.

Sage

Just hold me tight…

So I did. He really didn’t have to tell me twice. And I tried so hard to behave.

I desperately willed my fingertips to remain still and not to trace the hard ridges of his muscled abs. With every breath, I tried to ignore the rugged scent of his skin. But every touch scorched through me, every tightening of his torso created an almost painful ache between my legs.

If only Conall knew how many times I’d dreamed of this exact scenario. How many times I’d been out here on the ranch with him and Matt. Always on my own horse, but wishing I was nestled on one with him. So, for just a second, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to absorb the fantasy. I rested my head on his strong back, and allowed him to thread his fingers through mine.

All too soon, we headed back to the barn, and he offered his arm to help me off the horse. His muscular grip as he gently lowered me to the ground was kinda awesome. I wanted time to stop. Right then in that moment. And, by the soft look in his eyes, he didn’t really want it to end either.

I heard a giggle come from the house, and saw Mattie squeal as she zipped through a sprinkler, followed by a hoard of pudgy little
border collie pups. I walked over to the edge of the corral to watch her while Conall pulled the saddle and bridle from the horse and hauled them into the tack room. After he’d dumped a small pile of oats into a bin as a reward, he came to stand by me, leaning his arms over the gate.

“She’s going to crash on the way home. She’s having so much fun.” I smiled up at him. “You did awesome today. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy.”