Always and Forever (32 page)

Jory watched her mother sweep out the door and felt hollow and numb. She picked up the crumbled grade sheet, glanced over it, and was forced to admit that her grades were pretty bad. She really didn’t know why she hadn’t tried harder. According to her SAT scores, she was smart enough to have done better.

She tossed the paper onto the counter. She glanced around the kitchen at the gleaming appliances and the freshly scrubbed counters and sinks, smelling of disinfectant and lemon wax. Mrs. Garcia had the place sparkling.
As clean and sterile as Melissa’s hospital room
, Jory thought.

“Here’s your order, honey.” The waitress’s voice snapped Jory out of her funk. She paid for the food and nibbled halfheartedly on the fries. They weren’t greasy enough. Jory gazed out the window. Across the parking lot she recognized a car full of guys from school. She saw Lyle in the front seat, and he was staring straight into her eyes.

Jory almost smiled at him, but she remembered what he’d told her about flashing smiles she really didn’t mean. Her face felt frozen. Flustered, Jory looked away.

When she looked up again, the boys had gone inside the restaurant and the car was empty.

“What do you mean Melissa has another fever? I just saw her two days ago and she was perfectly fine.” Jory had met Mrs. Austin at the hospital.

Mrs. Austin rubbed her eyes, and Jory saw the exhaustion in her face. “Well, she’s not perfectly fine now. She’s spiking a fever and the lab people are running around like mad.”

Jory swallowed hard. “Is it … I mean, could she be rejecting the transplant?”

“No. They’re certain that the transplant is taking hold. Her white blood cell and platelet counts keep climbing. It’s something else entirely. Dr. Rowan’s called in another specialist.”

“Gee, Mrs. Austin, I’m really sorry.”

“So am I, Jory. I don’t think I can take much more of this. First they give you hope, then it’s snatched away. Then hope again, followed by despair. My nerves are shot.”

Melissa’s mother looked frazzled and Jory wanted to reach out to her, but didn’t know if it would be proper. “Maybe I’ll come back later,” Jory said, not wanting to leave, but not sure she should stay.

“No,” Mrs. Austin said, taking Jory’s arm.
“Don’t go yet. Melissa’s asked to see you. The doctors don’t want visitors except the immediate family, but Melissa’s begged me to let you come in.”

“I … uh … I think of Melissa as my sister,” Jory said softly, shifting from foot to foot because the sense of urgency was scaring her.

Mrs. Austin nodded. “So does Melissa, Jory. And so do I.”

“Can I go in right now?”

“Michael’s in there with her, but go on anyway. If anyone says anything to you, send them to me.”

Jory struggled into the sterile gown, finding it difficult to tie the strings on her mask because her fingers were shaking. She took a deep breath, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, and went into Melissa’s room.

The room was crowded with even more machinery than Jory had seen before. Something ominous, with hoses and an oxygen tank, stood in a corner. Jory ignored it and turned her attention toward the bed, where Michael sat holding his sister’s hand. He looked up as Jory entered and from over the top of his mask Jory felt his searing blue eyes burn holes right through her.

Cautiously, Jory approached the bed. Melissa’s breathing was light and shallow. Her cheeks were flushed and her skin appeared translucent. “H-How is she?”

“Not so good.” Michael’s voice was brusque and Jory got the impression that he resented her intrusion.

“Your mother said for me to come in,” she explained apologetically.

“The fever’s wringing her out. She’s in and out, so don’t expect too long a social call.”

His words were like tiny barbs and Jory winced. What had she done to make him dislike her so? The night in the car had been like a time warp, when the rules of life had been suspended and they’d reached out and joined with one another in some special way. Now, here in Melissa’s room, it was as if that night had never happened. “Can I touch her?”

“Sure,” Michael said grudgingly.

Jory stroked Melissa’s forehead. It was dry and hot. She watched the rapid rise and fall of Melissa’s chest through the thin material of her gown and followed the wire leads taped inside the material to the monitor where the green line zipped, fast and ragged. “She doesn’t look good.”

“Tell me about it.”

Jory blushed, feeling stupid for making such inane comments. “What do they think is wrong?”

“They haven’t said.”

“But it isn’t rejection?”

“No. My bone marrow’s working just fine. Ironic, huh? The cure works, but the patient’s still sick.”

“Sh-She’ll be all right. They’ll find out what’s got her and give her medicine, and she’ll be all right again.”

Melissa’s eyelids fluttered open. “Hi, Melissa,”
Jory said gently, managing a smile. “It’s only me. I stopped by to see if you’d like me to bring you a chocolate cheesecake or something.”

Melissa slowly focused on Jory’s face. “Maybe some other time. Are you skipping school?”

“Me? Come on, you know I never skip school. Why, I hear I’m up for the perfect attendance award this year.”

“You’ve got to get serious about your life, Jory. You have so many things to do …” Melissa sounded almost pleading, ignoring Jory’s attempt at humor. “You’ve got to go do them. You’ve got to do
everything
.” Melissa realized that Michael was holding her hand and softened her grave expression. “Hi, Big Brother. You look like a doctor.”

“No need to insult me, Sis.” He squeezed her fingers. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a train ran over me. Do they know what’s wrong?”

“Not yet. But you’ll probably shrug it off before they figure it out.”

Jory added, “Yeah. After all, you’ve got all that good bone marrow now.”

“I’m so tired,” Melissa said with a sigh that made Jory’s heart skip a beat.

“Would you like us to leave so that you can sleep?” Michael asked.

“Oh no, don’t leave. Please. I don’t want to be alone. I want you—all of you—with me. Where’s Mom?”

“Probably tearing some unsuspecting doctor
apart.” Michael stroked Melissa’s cheek. “I won’t leave you.”

Melissa turned toward Jory. “I thought it would hurt, but it doesn’t.”

Jory wondered what Melissa meant by
it
. She didn’t ask, but she didn’t like the way Melissa was talking. She sounded weary and resigned. “They’ll give you shots for pain if you hurt, won’t they?” Jory asked.

“They give me shots. I’ve had a bunch of shots. But every time I wake up, it’s nice to have one of you with me. I like knowing I’m not by myself, and that I’m not facing this alone.”

Jory exchanged quick glances with Michael. “Well, here we are,” she said brightly.

“I’m acting like a baby, aren’t I?” Jory and Michael shook their heads in unison. “Yes, I am,” Melissa said. “I don’t know why I’m acting so weird. It’s just that I’m lonely and so tired. I think I could sleep for a month, but I’m sort of afraid too.”

“How so?” Michael asked.

“What if I don’t wake up?”

A sudden chill shook Jory. Why was the air-conditioning on? Didn’t the hospital realize that Melissa’s room felt like a meat locker?

“I’ll shake you until you do wake up,” Michael said.

“You shouldn’t hold on so hard, Michael.”

He dropped her hand. “Gosh, I’m sorry. Was I hurting your hand?”

Melissa smiled in a strange way. “I didn’t mean my hand,” she said.

Jory’s teeth began to chatter. She felt her breath growing short and wondered if she might be catching a cold. It wouldn’t do to be around Melissa if she was catching something. “Look, maybe I should be going.”

Melissa glanced back at her. “I want you to take the journal,” she said.

Jory’s mouth opened, then closed. She wanted to cry, “No!” Instead she asked, “Really? Right now? What if I lose it? What if I can’t think of anything to write? What if … ?”

Melissa tapped Jory’s hand. “You promised.”

“But I can bring it back just as soon as you’re feeling better, right?”

“Sure.”

Michael eyed her stonily as Jory reached into the bedside table drawer and removed the blue leather book. Jory hugged it to her chest, staring only at Melissa and trying desperately not to allow Michael’s hostile eyes into her line of vision. “I promised your mother that I wouldn’t stay long. I’ll track her down and tell her you want to see her. That way Michael won’t have to leave.”

Melissa managed a half wave. “Come see me again soon, Jory, and don’t forget to keep up the journal.”

Jory made it out of the room and into the corridor, where she leaned against a wall and struggled to catch her breath. She felt as if she’d run ten miles. She found Mrs. Austin and quickly left the
hospital. In the parking lot, she sat in her car with the top down, resting her head on the seat and staring at the brilliant blue sky and white glowing sun until her eyes hurt. She wished the noonday sun would warm her.

The party seemed endless. Franklin Cortez, the last of Mrs. Delaney’s prearranged dates for Jory, was trying hard to be charming, but Jory had no interest in him or in the party.

Jory watched her parents dancing. Her father was tall and bronzed by the sun. His silver hair gave him a distinguished look. Her mother was elegant, almost regal-looking in a flowing chiffon gown. They were a perfect couple glowing with good looks and good health. Jory wished she were at the hospital with the Austins.

“Melissa has meningitis”
Jory would never forget the sound of Mrs. Austin’s words as long as she lived. The diagnosis had come four days before, striking like a hammer blow. Meningitis. The membranes surrounding Melissa’s brain and spinal cord were inflamed. She wasn’t responding to treatment and her heart was damaged and very weak.

Jory hadn’t seen Melissa since the day her friend had insisted she take the journal. The book weighed on Jory’s conscience. She hadn’t touched it since she’d taken it home and hidden it away in a drawer in her room for safekeeping. It was Melissa’s and full of her private thoughts. For Jory to read it or write in it wouldn’t be right. It seemed like eavesdropping to her.

Franklin interrupted her thoughts by saying he liked her dress. Jory thanked him. It
was
a beautiful dress, emerald green, strapless, with a flared skirt that came just above her knees. Jory’s mother had outdone herself in choosing it, for it complemented her auburn hair perfectly. But right now, Jory couldn’t have cared less. She felt an urge to escape. To escape Franklin and the party and an incredible sense of sadness.

She excused herself, smiling gaily at Franklin and promising to be right back. Instead, she went to the front entrance and, without a second thought, left the club and drove off in her car. She wanted to be alone. She needed time to think.

It was after one
A.M
. when she turned into her driveway. She was surprised to see all the lights still on. She groaned. That meant her mother was waiting for her, and Jory knew she’d be on the warpath. After all, Jory had simply walked out of the country club without telling her parents or Franklin Cortez that she was going. How could she explain herself? How could she make her mother understand that she couldn’t have stayed there one more minute without screaming? Jory sighed, squared her shoulders, and walked quickly into the house.

“Where have you been?” Her mother stood alone in the living room, her arms crossed.

“Driving.”

“Since nine o’clock?”

“Yes.” Jory put her keys in her purse, snapped it shut, and dropped it onto the cherry wood end table. “Listen, Mother, I know I shouldn’t have run
off, but I was bored stiff. I know you’re mad, but I’m really wiped out. Could we have our fight about it in the morning?”

“Jory, I need to tell you something.”

Jory’s gaze flew to her mother’s face. She expected anger and fire. She saw wariness and … tears? Jory stiffened and said, “Not tonight, Mother. I’m exhausted. I’ll get up early and we can talk then.”

Mrs. Delaney stepped in front of Jory as she started to leave. “Mrs. Austin called here about ten tonight, and Mrs. Garcia called us at the club.”

Jory felt her heart pounding. “Tell me in the morning,” she said, trying to step around her mother.

“Jory, you must listen to me.”

“I don’t want to listen.” Jory fought a rising sense of panic. The walls seemed to be closing in. Why wouldn’t her mother get out of her way? Childlike, Jory clamped her hands over her ears. “I can’t hear you, Mother. I’m not going to listen.”

Mrs. Delaney reached out, took Jory’s wrists, and tugged. “Melissa died tonight, honey. Her heart gave out.”

Jory felt her throat constrict. She stared wide-eyed because the awful words confirmed what she’d known deep inside, all along. What she’d realized the moment Mrs. Austin had told her about Melissa’s meningitis. “I-I’ll go to bed now and get some sleep. I’ll … um … call Mrs. Austin tomorrow. She must be hurting. And Michael too. He
wasn’t prepared for this, you know. He wasn’t ready for it …”