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Strong but gentle hands settled on her shoulders, turning her. Before she could stop him, he'd pulled her against him and was holding her.

“It's okay,” he whispered.

“It's not,” she mumbled into his T-shirt. He smelled of warm skin and fabric softener.

“It will be. I promise.” He stroked her short hair. “You're not a whore, Violet. You're not bad and you don't deserve this. If you're trying to scare me away, you're going to have to work a whole lot harder than this.”

Slowly, she raised her gaze to him. “Who are you?”

“Just a guy.”

“Why aren't you running for the door?”

“There's nowhere else I want to be.”

He spoke sincerely. She wanted to believe him, but her trust had been shattered one too many times.

He must have read that in her eyes. “Don't worry about it,” he told her. “You can take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere.”

“You live in San Francisco.”

One corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. “Okay, sure. Get picky. We'll figure it out.”

She frowned. “I'm not dating you. I just got beat up by my boyfriend. Doesn't dating seem inappropriate?”

“No. Now come to bed.”

Not knowing what else to do, she got into bed. He pulled up the covers, then circled around to the other side and climbed in next to her.

There were layers of sheet and blanket between them, but she still felt the warmth of his body and the gentle way he held her. He was careful not to jostle her ribs.

She lay with her head on his shoulder, his hand stroking her back. Every now and then he kissed the top of her head.

Eventually she started to relax.

“Aren't you going to turn the lights out?” she asked, her voice sounding sleepy.

“No. You'll worry if you can't see what's coming.”

True, she thought, letting her eyes fall closed. But how did he know?

“Thank you,” she whispered, right before she drifted off to sleep.

The arm around her tightened slightly, then released. “Everything is going to be okay now, Violet. Trust me.”

Oddly enough, she thought she just might be able to do that.

 

Jenna glanced up as Violet walked into the store. The bruise on her face was fading, and for the first time since Cliff had attacked her, Violet looked relaxed and rested.

“Good night?” Jenna asked.

Violet hesitated, then nodded.

“I'm glad,” Jenna told her. “This has all been rough for you.”

“The memories are taking longer than I thought to go away,” Violet admitted, then crossed to her. “Dragon stayed with me. Nothing happened. He wanted to help me sleep, so he spent the night. It helped me not be scared.” She bit her lower lip. “Are you mad?”

Violet and Dragon? It made sense. He'd been asking about her when Jenna had visited Napa. As long as he wasn't moving too fast, she thought, knowing he was tough enough to press hard to get what he wanted.

“You're mad,” Violet said. “It's okay. I won't see him again.”

Jenna shook her head. “No. Don't. I'm not upset at all.
I think it's great. I can really see you two together. I was thinking that he could be pushy when he sees something he wants and I don't want him to push you.”

“He didn't,” Violet assured her. “Like I said, nothing happened. I don't know where this is going—if anywhere. I need some time to heal and I'm not even sure he's interested. I just wanted you to know where he was last night.”

Jenna smiled. “I don't usually keep track of Dragon.”

“I know, but this is different.”

“I'm glad he helped. I'm glad you slept.”

“Me, too.”

Jenna studied the woman she'd hired. A few months ago, they'd been strangers. Now they were friends—much more so than the women she'd known in high school.

“Thank you for everything,” Jenna told her. “For your help with the store and with my family. I couldn't have gotten through all this without you.”

“I want to say the same thing,” Violet said. “You've been so generous.”

They hugged, then stepped back.

“I'm not going to cry,” Jenna said, sniffing. “If I do, my mascara will run and I'll look like a raccoon.”

“Not attractive.”

They busied themselves with setting up. Serenity had another vegan cooking class that day and the sign-up sheet was full.

A little after ten, Beth came in.

“How is everyone?” she asked, sounding cheerful.

“Good,” Jenna told her. “Are you here for the class?”

“Yes.” Beth sounded defiant. “Serenity was telling me last night that if I went vegan, I wouldn't have to worry about my weight ever again. It sounds so healthy and I love all the food she's cooked.”

Jenna raised her eyebrows. She had a feeling it wasn't a lifestyle her father would embrace.

“You know you have to give up all animal products. No meat, no eggs, no dairy.”

“It's a little daunting,” Beth admitted. “But worth a try. I'm going to sit in on today's class and see what I think.”

“Good luck,” Jenna murmured.

She and Violet cleared the space around the kitchen and set up the supplies. By eleven the store was filled with the students, but Serenity hadn't arrived.

“That's strange,” Jenna murmured, looking at her watch. “She's always early.”

“Maybe she got the time wrong,” Violet said. “Do you want me to call her?”

“I'll do it,” Jenna said, wondering what she was going to do if Serenity didn't show. She could probably follow the recipe, but she wouldn't have the same enthusiasm and charm as her mother. Serenity had a way of…

Her mind stalled, then rewound. The word reappeared.
Mother?
Had she thought that? Had she let down her defenses enough to let Serenity in that far?

Apparently, she thought, still not completely sure how she felt about all this. Beth was still the mother of her heart, but maybe, just maybe, there was room to love Serenity, as well.

Her cell phone rang, interrupting her. She grabbed it automatically and glanced at the screen. The 707 area code was familiar.

“It's Serenity,” she said. “She's probably calling to say she's on her way.” She put the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“J-Jenna?”

The voice sounded thick and desperate. “Tom? What's wrong?”

“It's… Serenity can't make it to c-class.” His word broke on a sob.

Fear came cold and fast, wrapping around her and making it hard to breathe. She held the phone tighter. “What's wrong? What happened?”

“She's in the hospital. She went in a couple of hours ago.”

“I don't understand. Is she sick? Was there an accident?”

“She's dying.”

T
he drive to the hospital was a blur. Fortunately, Beth had taken charge and hustled Jenna into the car, leaving Violet to deal with the store.

Once they arrived, they found their way to the right wing, then the correct floor. Beth kept a firm hold of Jenna's arm, guiding her to where Tom stood, waiting for them.

It seemed to Jenna that her father had shrunk since the last time she'd seen him. His eyes were red, his face ashen. He looked as if he could have been admitted himself. When he saw her, he lunged for her, then wrapped his arms around her, holding on so tight, she couldn't breathe.

“She didn't want you to know,” he said, crying loudly. “I said she should tell you, but she didn't want you to know.”

Jenna felt mercifully numb. She wasn't an expert on shock but would guess she was experiencing it. Nothing made sense. Not the harsh overhead lighting, the uniformed nurses, the smells of lunch service and antiseptic.

Then Dragon was there, drawing his father back, giving Jenna a chance to catch her breath.

Her brother was in better shape than Tom, but not by much. He was pale, his expression grim.

“What the hell is going on?” Jenna demanded. “Where's Serenity?”

“She'll be back in a bit,” Dragon told her. He glanced at Beth. “Could you be with him?”

“Of course.”

Her mother wrapped her arm around Tom's waist and guided him to the chairs by the nurses' station.

Dragon took Jenna's hand in his. “Mom has stage-four pancreatic cancer. It's gone into nearly all her organs. She was diagnosed about four months ago. She was already pretty far gone. Aggressive treatment was an option, but she didn't want it. She said she refused to live her last few months vomiting while she was poisoned by medicine that wouldn't have a prayer of curing her.”

Tears filled his eyes. “I'm sorry. This is what she wanted. To come see you. To give you a chance to know her before she went.”

Jenna heard the words but couldn't absorb them. How could any of this make sense?

“No,” she said slowly. “No. I don't believe it. Pancreatic cancer? That was the universe telling her to get in touch with me?”

“I'm sorry,” Dragon said again.

She was aware that his pain was greater than hers. That she was losing someone she'd only known a few months while he was losing his mother. But she couldn't seem to get any of the information to stick. It was like swimming through thick water. Nothing sounded right, nothing felt right.

She pulled free of him and walked to the end of the cor
ridor. As she turned, she saw him standing there, looking lost and broken. Quickly, she stepped into a waiting area and called Violet at the store.

“Shut it down,” she told her friend. “Put up a sign saying there's a family emergency. Then please come here.”

“Give me half an hour,” Violet said before hanging up.

Jenna appreciated that she didn't ask a lot of questions. She wasn't sure what she could say.

As she moved out of the waiting room, she saw Serenity being wheeled back to her room.

“That's the last of it,” Serenity was saying. “No more tests. No more probing. I may be ready to go, but I'm not going to let you make me feel even more miserable.”

She turned and saw Jenna standing by the waiting room. Her mouth twisted.

“Tom called. I told him not to, but he said you had the right to know. I thought it would be better for you to find out after.”

Jenna stared at her, not believing what she was hearing. After? As in after Serenity was dead?

Jenna turned and walked to the elevator. After pushing the down button, she waited impatiently for the doors to open. She jumped inside and pushed another floor. She didn't even know which one it was, nor did she care. It was only when the doors opened again that she realized she was on the main floor. She hurried through the lobby and stepped out into the late-morning light.

A thousand thoughts and sensations coursed through her. She hurt, she wanted to throw up, and she wanted to scream. This couldn't be happening. Not like this. Not with no warning. She turned slowly, unable to focus.

Then familiar arms steadied her. She hung on to her mother and let herself cry.

“I don't understand,” she said between sobs.

“I know,” Beth told her. “I'm so sorry, honey.”

Jenna straightened. “Who does this? How dare she blow back into my life, make me care about her, then turn around and die? It's not right.”

Beth's blue eyes were dark with unshed tears. “It's a unique path, but that's always what Serenity has chosen.”

“Did you know?” Jenna demanded.

“No. How could I?”

“They knew,” she snapped. “Dragon, Tom, Wolf. Even Jasmine. They all knew and kept it from me. I sat in their house, at their table as they showed me what their happy family was like and the whole time she was dying and no one told me.”

“I'm sorry.”

Jenna wished everyone would stop apologizing.

She pulled free of her mother's gentle hold and pulled out her cell phone. But who was there to call? What was she supposed to say?

“Why did they do this?” she asked desperately. “Why did they try so damn hard?”

“It's what Serenity wanted,” Beth said quietly. “To know you before she died.”

“Doesn't that strike you as monumentally selfish?”

“You were a missing part of her life.”

Jenna shoved her cell back in her pocket and covered her face. Then she dropped her arms.

“Ellington knew,” she breathed. “That's why she went to see him. That's why he was on her side. He knew what was happening.” Her frustration grew. “I don't accept this.”

Beth stood, watching her.

Jenna wiped away her tears. “I know why now. I know
why, so my new question is, why wait? Why did she have to wait so long?”

“People make choices for reasons we can never understand.”

“I hate her.”

“No, you don't. You love her. That's the problem.”

Jenna looked at her mother. “I don't love her.”

Beth smiled. “Yes, you do. A little. Not in the same way you love me, but there's a connection. It's okay,” she added. “I'm nearly mature enough not to mind.”

Dragon came out of the hospital. “She wants to talk to you.”

Jenna marched up to him. “You should have told me,” she yelled. “I had the right to know.”

“That's what I told her,” he admitted, anguish in his eyes. “She didn't want you to know because she knew it would change everything.”

“Death has a way of doing that,” Jenna snapped.

“Everyone gets a flaw.”

She saw the pain in his expression. Her voice softened. “I'm sorry. She's your mother. This must be horrible for you.”

“I'll get by.”

“I called Violet to come take care of you.”

His smile was weary. “She doesn't need to be here.”

“I think she wants to be here.” She turned back to the hospital. “I have to go inside, don't I?”

Her mother came up and put a hand on her back. “I'll be right here.”

Jenna turned on her. “You're not hiding any big secrets, are you?”

“No, Jenna. Everything is fine.” Beth drew in a breath. “We're going to have to be strong for Serenity.”

Jenna looked at Dragon. “How long?”

He winced. “Days. Maybe weeks.”

Jenna felt the sharp stab to her belly. “Okay,” she whispered. “I can do this.”

She led the way back inside and went upstairs. As she paused outside of Serenity's door, she told herself that everything would be all right. That she would be strong and support her family and have a small but tasteful breakdown later.

She walked into the hospital room.

Tom sat by Serenity, holding her hand. Serenity looked much as she had since Jenna had known her. Thin and pale, but still beautiful. When their eyes met, Serenity shook her head.

“You're thinking I should have told you.”

“Yes,” Jenna told her.

“In time you'll see that I was right.”

Jenna doubted that but knew this wasn't the moment to have that argument. “How do you feel?” she asked instead.

“I'm in a little pain. They're going to give me some drugs to help with that. I hope they don't make me loopy.”

Beth moved next to Jenna. “Are you going back to Napa?” she asked.

Serenity and Tom exchanged a glance. Serenity shook her head. “I don't want to die on the road.”

“I understand,” Beth told her. “You need to be around family and the people you love. Please, come back to my house. We'll set up a room downstairs. Your friends can come.”

For the first time since Jenna had met her, Serenity looked surprised. “You don't have to do that.”

Beth moved close and took the other woman's hand. “I
want to. You're Jenna's mother, too. We should all be together.”

Serenity looked at Tom. His eyes were red and sad and helpless. He seemed to be disintegrating by the minute.

“Thank you,” Serenity told Beth. “That's very kind of you.” She turned to Jenna. “I'm sorry I did this to you, but I wanted you to know me. So you could be a part of us and we could be a part of you. I did it for you and maybe a little for myself.”

Jenna nodded, as if she understood, even though she didn't.

 

In less time than Jenna would have thought possible, the “catchall” downstairs room at her parents' house had been cleaned out and repurposed as Serenity's private sanctuary. A hospital bed was brought in, along with a rolling table, but those were the only concessions to her illness. She insisted on comfortable chairs for her many visitors and that the window treatments be removed from the windows. She wanted to see everything, she declared. Large plants found their way into the corners of the room. Incense and candles burned on most flat surfaces.

Jenna was there when Serenity arrived from the hospital. She looked pale and frail. Tom helped her into bed and she slept for several hours. As she did so, Jenna sat by her, and he made phone calls, telling their friends what had happened. Beth had prepared a list of local hotels.

When Tom finished and returned to Serenity's side, Jenna went into the kitchen to see her mother.

“This is going to be difficult,” she told Beth.

“Life often is.” Beth pointed to the vegan cookbook she'd bought at the store. “I'm only going to try a few basic things,
and I'll make sure I have most of the ingredients on hand. I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of people to feed.”

“I think you're right.”

Beth smiled at her. “Are you okay?”

“I think so. I'm still in shock.”

“Not so angry?”

“Oh, the anger is there. I'm simply ignoring it.”

“That's my girl,” Beth said with a low laugh. “When in doubt, pretend it doesn't exist. I think you got that from my mother.”

“I got it from someone.” She glanced at her watch. “Wolf is flying in today. Jasmine isn't comfortable flying so far in her pregnancy. He said her mother would be staying with her until he gets back.”

Beth nodded, then sighed. “I know Serenity would have loved to live to see her grandchild.”

Jenna wanted to say she still could, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. The cancer had spread. There was no stopping it.

“I'm going to work this afternoon,” she said, grabbing her purse. “I'll be back around five.”

“We'll be here.”

Over the next two days, more visitors arrived. The hospice nurse came by every morning to check on Serenity. There were others, as well. Wolf, of course, and about a dozen people Jenna had never met. Young and old, male and female. A guy in his twenties sat on a cushion in the corner and played what Jenna was pretty sure was a sitar. A tall, old woman in a magical-looking headdress stood over Serenity and chanted. Ellington visited daily, but Jenna didn't see him much and never alone.

She supposed she should be angry with him, too, for keeping the secret. She understood the ethics of his relationship
with Serenity and knew he had, in his own way, tried to tell her the truth.

The ebb and flow of visitors provided a rhythm to the days. There were stories about Serenity's life, laughter and plenty of tears. Jenna found herself torn between wanting to be close to Serenity and wanting to get away.

Violet came when she could, spending the evenings holding Dragon. Marshall stood by the door, watching it all, then slipping away to his study where the world was still normal. For Jenna, time went both too quickly and too slowly. As always, Beth was there, strong in her support.

A week after Serenity had left the hospital, the hospice nurse walked into the kitchen.

“Very soon,” she said. “I thought you'd want to know.”

“Thank you,” Beth said, watching Jenna.

Jenna nodded but found she couldn't speak. “I'll stay home today,” she managed at last. “I'll tell Violet to close the store.”

“Whatever you think is best.”

A young guy walked in holding incense, asking for matches. Beth handed them over. When he was gone, she looked at Jenna.

“I'm never going to get that smell out of the carpet.”

Jenna smiled, then started to laugh. After a few seconds, the humor turned to tears.

“I'm a wreck.”

“You're preparing for someone important in your life to die. Give yourself a break.”

Jenna looked at her mother. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, hon. Now wipe your face. Serenity doesn't want to see you cry.”

She returned to Serenity's room to the music playing and
the candles burning. Serenity lay on her bed, her eyes closed, her breathing slow.

Tom leaned over her and whispered something.

She opened her eyes.