Already Home (21 page)

He bent over and gathered her gently into his arms. She held in the wince as pain seared through her rib cage. He smelled of the night and leather and Scotch, kind of like she'd always imagined a father would smell. His touch was caring and safe. So very safe.

For a second she wondered what her life would have been like if she'd had a father to take care of her. If she'd mattered to someone…anyone.

“We'll be back in the morning,” he whispered.

“Thank you.”

“We take care of our own, Violet,” he told her as he straightened. “For better or worse, you're a part of our family now. There may come a time when you regret that, but you're stuck with us. You hear me?” She nodded.

“Go to sleep.”

The instruction was firm, and Marshall Stevens expected to be obeyed. For once, Violet did as she was told and closed her eyes.

 

Despite the late hour, Jenna couldn't sleep. She pulled on jeans and a T-shirt and went downstairs. Although she expected to find the great room empty, she saw Tom standing by the window. He looked up when she entered.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, coming to a stop. “I didn't mean to intrude.”

“You didn't.”

He walked toward the large sofa and motioned for her to join him.

“Can't sleep?” he asked.

“Every now and then.” Generally one night a month, when she was ovulating. Her doctor had said it was hormonal. Not anything she wanted to share with Tom.

“What about you?”

He shrugged. “I have a lot on my mind.” He smiled at her. “Your mom really appreciates you visiting. Having you here means the world to her.”

Jenna ignored the “mom” part of the statement. “She's pretty amazing.”

“That she is. I knew from the first second I saw her that I was going to love her for the rest of my life.” He turned away then and swallowed. “Sorry. Sometimes it feels like I can't hold all the love inside.”

“It's nice,” Jenna said, wondering if anyone would ever feel that way about her.

“It's inescapable. When we were first together, we were young. Everyone said it wouldn't last.”

“They were wrong,” Jenna said lightly. “Did you tell them ‘I told you so'?”

He chuckled. “I wanted to. Serenity wouldn't let me. She's so giving. So caring.”

“She knows how to fill a room.” Jenna hesitated. “I've sort of felt you and I haven't gotten to know each other as well.”

Tom looked at her. “I've held back. Your relationship with her is the important one. She's an extraordinary woman, Jenna. Knowing her is a blessing.”

Which was the oddest response, Jenna thought. Why did everyone keep pushing Serenity to the front of the line? It was as if she was the only one who mattered.

“Dragon told me a little about what it was like to grow up here,” she said. “She sounds like she was a great mom.”

“Yes, she was. The perfect wife.”

He stared out the window. Jenna started to feel as if she were intruding. She excused herself and went back to her room. Only a few more days, she reminded herself. Then she would go home and be back where she belonged.

 

A dozen or so wine labels lay on the kitchen table. The designs were variations on a theme—a wolf, a dragon and a butterfly in some form or another. Next to the different designs were blank labels in different colors. Gold, green, red, blue.

“I like the gold color,” Jenna said. “The gradation from pale to dark at the bottom.”

“I agree.” Serenity sat next to her, holding a mug of tea. “But choosing the design is more complicated.”

Jenna did her best to avoid looking at them. The old labels showed a sketch of the original farmhouse, which she really liked. The new drawings, incorporating the animal manifestations of the names, were just too weird.

“Maybe just a new color would be enough,” Jenna said. “Rather than changing everything. You want your customers to be able to find you on the shelf.”

Serenity tilted her head, her long red hair falling over her left shoulder. “Maybe. I'll talk to Tom about it.” She glanced toward the timer. “Would you check the muffins for me? I'm a little tired this morning.”

“Sure.”

Jenna got up and walked to the top oven. Inside, the blueberry muffins were turning a light, golden brown.

“I don't have your eye for baking,” she admitted, “but my guess is another couple of minutes.”

Yet another family meal. This time brunch—without eggs, of course. Yesterday she'd seen Wolf and Jasmine's house—a smaller version of the bigger log home that Serenity and Tom lived in. Jasmine had also shown her the baby's room and had tried to teach Jenna how to weave cloth.

From what she could tell, the Johnson family was very close. Dragon had gone off the previous afternoon to visit a
couple of his local friends, but otherwise he'd been around. Wolf and Jasmine had spent more time here than at their own place, and Tom was never far out of sight.

It was family intimacy at a new level. Jenna believed it was genuine, but something lurked in the background. Something she couldn't put her finger on.

“I should show you pictures of the boys when they were little,” Serenity said when Jenna had returned to sit across from her.

“I'd like that,” Jenna said, “but I think it would be more fun when they're in the room to watch.”

“Tormenting your brothers?”

Jenna laughed. “Yes. I do like that part of having siblings.”

Serenity sighed. “I wish you'd been here when you were little. We missed you so much. I talked about you all the time, trying to make you real to Dragon and Wolf.” She paused, her green eyes flashing with humor. “We celebrated your birthday every year.”

Which fell under the category of creepy, Jenna thought. “But you never came to find me,” she said. “Why? You knew how to find my parents.”

Serenity flinched slightly as Jenna said the
P
word. Jenna felt both guilty and defiant. Beth and Marshall
were
her parents. If Serenity had wanted that to be different, she shouldn't have given her up for adoption. It was as if she wanted it both ways—to have the world as it was and to have changed the past.

“Why now?” she asked for maybe the twentieth time.

“There are things we can know right away,” Serenity said calmly, “and knowledge that comes with time.”

“What does that mean?”

“I always thought it was up to you to come to us. Then that changed. So we came to you.”

She spoke so calmly, with such certainty.

Jenna wanted to argue, but knew she couldn't win. This conversation reminded her of being with Jasmine the previous day. She'd asked if Jasmine knew the sex of the baby.

“We're having a boy. Serenity told me.”

Jasmine had spoken with the same quiet confidence.

“Did you get that confirmed by an ultrasound?” Jenna had asked.

“Oh, no. Serenity knows those kinds of things.”

Jenna refused to believe her birth mother had mystical powers, but did that matter? Life was different here. Maybe she should stop fighting it and simply accept the truth. Accept that they were her family, too.

“I was never sure that Beth and Marshall were the right parents for you,” Serenity said unexpectedly. “My parents picked them because I wouldn't make up my mind. I think I was trying to find the courage to keep you myself. Tom and I talked about running away together, but we were so young. And not very brave. But yes, I think that would have been better for you and for us.”

The complete dismissal of her parents drove Jenna to her feet. Anger coursed through her. How dare Serenity assume Beth and Marshall had been anything but loving, supportive parents who had given her every advantage and made her feel special and adored?

The timer dinged.

Literally saved by the bell, she thought as she crossed to the oven and pulled out the muffins. She stared blindly at the tray, then shook her head.

Getting annoyed served no purpose. She would only say
things that would make the rest of her visit uncomfortable, and what was the point of that?

She could almost hear Beth's voice in her head telling her that Serenity believed what she had to in order to accept what she'd done. That giving up a child was never easy, regardless of the circumstances or outcome. Serenity's decision had been harder than most because she had married the father of her child and knew that things would have worked out.

Jenna knew Beth would urge her to be compassionate and remind her that she had less than forty-eight hours left until she could get on a plane and head back to her regular life.

She carried the tray of muffins over to Serenity. “What do you think?”

Her birth mother lightly touched one muffin. “Perfect.”

Jenna set the pan on the cooling rack, then slipped the second one into the oven. She leaned against the counter and wished her mother was with her now. Beth would enjoy the house and the winery. Her eyes would probably bug out when she saw Jasmine's stack of handwoven diapers, but she wouldn't say anything.

Longing filled Jenna's chest, making her want to speak to her mom and tell her she missed her. Now that she thought about it, the last few weeks had been so busy that she couldn't remember the last time she'd told her she loved her.

The house phone rang. A few seconds later Tom walked into the kitchen.

“Jenna, it's Beth.” He handed her the cordless phone.

Maybe the universe really did listen, Jenna thought humorously.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Oh, Jenna, I'm sorry to interrupt.” Beth's voice trembled.

“What's wrong?”

“It's Violet. I didn't know if I should call or not. She said to wait, but I wasn't sure.”

Jenna tightened her grip on the phone. “Tell me! What happened to Violet?”

“Cliff went crazy or something. He beat her up.”

If Jenna had eaten anything that morning, she would have thrown it up. Fear gripped her. “How bad?”

“She's all right. A couple of broken teeth. She smacked her head on the table, but she's going to be okay.”

“He punched her?”

“He's in jail, at least for twenty-four hours. The hospital released her this morning and we've taken her home to look after her.”

“Thank you,” she breathed. “She can't be by herself and I know she doesn't have any family.” Now that she thought of it, Violet never mentioned any friends. Just people she used to work with.

“I've already called Tiffany and Kayla,” her mother continued. “They're coming in tomorrow and Tuesday and I'll work there, as well. So you don't have to worry.”

Jenna wasn't concerned about the store. It was her friend who mattered.

“I'm coming back,” she said. “As soon as I can get a flight.”

She heard a noise behind her, but she didn't turn to look. Right now Violet was who she had to focus on.

“Don't cut your visit short,” her mother began.

“Mom, Violet's boyfriend beat her up badly enough to send her to the hospital. I'm coming home.”

 

Jenna got out of San Francisco that afternoon and arrived in Austin after dark. After collecting her car, she drove directly to her parents' house and raced inside. She met her mother at the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, Mom,” she said, hugging Beth close. “I missed you.”

“You were only gone a few days.”

“I know, but I still missed you.”

She did her best not to think about what Serenity had said about Beth and Marshall not being a good choice as parents. The other woman couldn't be more wrong.

“How's Violet?” she asked as she straightened. “Feeling okay?”

“I think so.” Beth led the way upstairs. “She's pretty banged up.” Beth paused at the landing and faced Jenna. “She has a black eye and is feeling horrible about all of this. Not just the bruising.” Her mother's voice quivered. “It's just terrible what that man did to her.”

They went down the hall to the guest room. Jenna paused by the open door.

Violet lay back on several pillows, her bare arms outside the covers. The TV was on with the sound muted, and the nightstand lamps offered soft light in the early-evening gloom.

Jenna knocked, then stepped into the room. Violet turned toward her, exposing the dark purple bruise on her cheek and the black eye.

Jenna had to consciously keep from gasping.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, hoping she sounded normal, instead of shocked.

“Okay,” Violet said. “Your parents are taking good care of me.”

Jenna crossed to the chair by the bed and took a seat. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be. It's my own fault. I picked Cliff.”

“How could you have known what he was like?”

Something flashed in Violet's eyes. “I should have guessed.” She shrugged, then winced. “It's over now.”

“You're staying here until things are settled,” Jenna said firmly, knowing it was what her parents would want.

“You don't mind?” Violet asked.

“Not at all.”

“I'm sorry about screwing up.”

Jenna shook her head. “Violet, you didn't screw up. Just rest and heal. We'll take care of everything else.”

“I don't know how to thank you,” Violet whispered.

“You don't have to.”

J
enna opened the store the next morning. Tiffany was in until her noon college class, then Kayla would arrive for the afternoon shift. While the work would all get done, she felt weird being in the store without Violet.

It wasn't that Violet had been there every second, but this was different. She felt as if a part of her daily structure was missing. She depended on Violet in ways she hadn't realized.

About eleven-thirty, Ellington strolled in. He was as hand some as she remembered, and seeing him lifted her mood. She crossed to him.

“Hi, you,” she said.

“Hi, yourself.” He pulled her into his arms and gave her a quick kiss. “I missed you.” He touched her face with his fingers. “And I wanted to thank you in person for those great cupcakes. They were the star of the bake sale.”

“I'm glad.”

“It was incredibly thoughtful.”

“I just happened to remember. It was no big deal.”

“It was a very big deal.”

She stood in his embrace and felt all warm and safe. There were possibilities, she thought happily. Ellington was special. Who knew where this could go?

The bell dinged on the front door as a customer arrived. Jenna stepped back a little, thinking PDAs weren't exactly professional. Very nice but not the image she wanted for the store. Ellington winked.

“Rain check.”

“Absolutely.” She watched Tiffany approach the customer, then turned back to him. “How did you know I was back? I'm a couple of days early.”

“Your mom called and told me.”

Jenna shook her head. “Why would my mom…” Okay, now she got it. Her good mood faded, and she was left feeling oddly unsettled. As much as she'd enjoyed her trip to Napa, as much as Serenity had become a friend, she was tired of being pushed into an emotional place that wasn't comfortable.

“Serenity isn't my mother. Beth Stevens is my mother. She's the one who raised me and took care of me. Serenity gave me up for adoption when I was born. For thirty-two years she's been waiting for me to magically show up and when that didn't happen, she received some mystic message to tell her it was time to get in touch with me. I'm happy she did. I resisted at first, but now I can see she's a wonderful person and I'm glad to have her in my life. But that doesn't make her my mother.”

Ellington stared at her for several seconds. “Feel better?” he asked.

“About what?” Annoyance sharpened her words.

“Getting that out. Obviously something happened while you were in California.”

“Everything was fine. My trip was great,” she said shortly.

“I'm glad to hear that.”

He didn't seem upset by her irritation, and that pissed her off more. “You don't know what you're talking about. I don't care what Serenity told you. Just don't even talk to her.”

His voice gentled. “She's my patient, Jenna. I will talk to her whenever either of us feels it's necessary.”

“Fine. Do that. But I'm just saying, you don't know about my private life.”

“Why are you angry?”

“I'm not,” she snapped, then sighed. “I'm sorry. There's a lot going on.”

“She mentioned Violet was hurt.”

“She wasn't hurt. She didn't fall or get in a car accident. Her boyfriend, the man she trusted, hit her. He beat her up. Even though he was arrested, he's going to be out soon. And then what? How does she stay safe? How does she know it's okay?”

“I don't have an answer.”

“Right. Sure. Because men only like to create the problems. If they're not hitting women, they're cheating on them, then saying it's the woman's fault.”

“Is that what Aaron did to you?”

“What? We're not talking about Aaron.”

“I think we are.”

He was right, and she couldn't say why. Everything was great with Ellington. Why was she acting this crazy? He hadn't done anything wrong.

She glanced around to make sure no customers were listening, then stepped into the back room. Ellington followed.

“Jenna, you're dealing with a lot right now. I can see that. I understand it.”

“Aren't you generous?” she snapped when she knew she should be grateful.

“Why are you fighting with me?”

The one question she didn't have an answer to. “I don't know.”

“Is it about your mo— Is it about Serenity?”

“I'm not sure. Maybe. I'm confused. I want her in my life, but every time I get comfortable with where we are, she pushes me past where I want to go. I'm worried about my mom.” She caught herself. “The person you would call Beth. I don't want her hurt. Violet got hurt by someone she should have been able to trust.”

“That's a big list. Why don't you take it one item at a time?”

Which sounded reasonable but she just
knew
he was going to bring up Serenity first.

“Despite her faults, Serenity genuinely cares about you.”

“I knew it!” she said between gritted teeth. “It's always about her.”

“Maybe it should be. You're not seeing things clearly,” he continued. “Your blind loyalty to Beth…”

“Blind loyalty? Are you serious? Beth—Mom—raised me from the time I was an infant. She has always been there for me. I've known Serenity a few months. Don't you dare compare those relationships.”

“I'm sorry,” he said stiffly. “I shouldn't have said that. But my point is valid. You're missing the big picture.”

You're so sensitive. You don't know what's best.
Variations on a theme, she thought, fuming with rage. Just like Aaron. What was it about men that they thought they knew everything?
Maybe it wasn't all men. Maybe it was just the ones who had been given too much a little too easily.

“Not to take away from what you have with Beth, but Serenity is your mother,” he said.

“Biologically.”

He stared at her as if silently pointing out that was the relationship that was most significant.

“We're going to have to agree to disagree,” she said stiffly, doing her best not to hit him on the head with a nearby sauté pan.

“I didn't come here to argue with you.”

“Why did you come?”

“Because I was glad you were home.” He studied her for a long minute. “My mistake.”

He walked out before she could say anything else. She stared after him, angry at him for being difficult and angry with herself for being stupid. None of this was Ellington's fault. He had known Serenity first, so of course he would be loyal to her.

Fine, she thought. Let him leave. This wasn't a good time for her, anyway. Better to not get involved. At least then she could avoid getting hurt.

 

Jenna spent the next couple of days trying not to think about Ellington. She told herself she didn't need a man in her life, and most of the time she believed it. Robyn from Only Ewe dropped by on Wednesday.

“Violet missed class,” the other woman said as she walked in. “I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

Jenna hesitated. “She's doing better.” She wasn't sure if Violet wanted her to share what had happened but figured Robyn would see the truth when Violet returned.

“Her boyfriend beat her up,” Jenna said quietly, so the
other customers wouldn't hear. “She was in the hospital overnight and is staying with my parents for a few days while she starts to heal.”

Robyn's eyes widened. “Oh, no. That's so horrible. Can I help? Or go see her?”

“I'm sure she would enjoy company, but I don't know if she wants everyone knowing what happened.” She wrote down her parents' address and gave her Violet's cell number.

“I'm glad you told me,” Robyn said. “I'll know to play dumb if any guy comes asking about her. I'll leave it to her to tell me what happened. How are her hands?”

“Fine.”

“I'll take her some yarn and a simple pattern,” Robyn said. “It might help pass the time.”

“I'm sure she would appreciate that.”

Robyn excused herself and went back to her store.

Jenna helped a few customers, answered questions about the next low-salt class and worked on a couple of recipes. When it was time to close, she locked the door, then walked through the aisles, straightening stock and making notes of what needed to be ordered.

A few weeks before, Serenity had questioned whether or not Jenna had made the right decision when she'd opened the store. She'd suggested Jenna's “destiny” lay elsewhere.

At the time, Jenna had listened, wondering the same herself, but now she knew. She'd come back from Los Angeles with little more than some money, furniture and a broken heart. From that she'd created a place she could be proud of. She'd started over, made friends and was finding a home in the community. She'd risked being creative again and had rediscovered her soul.

The local Chamber of Commerce had talked to her about coming to meetings. Rotary wanted her to join. She was
thinking of being one of the sponsors of a 5K run for charity. She was happy. It had taken a while, but she was happy.

Unless she thought of Ellington, which she wasn't about to do.

But she couldn't escape all his words, and she wondered about Serenity and Beth. Was she being unfair to one because of the other?

Her cell phone rang. She glanced at the number and sighed.

“Hello?”

“You were thinking about me, weren't you?” Serenity asked with a laugh. “I sensed it.”

“I was,” Jenna admitted. “How are you?”

“Good. Jasmine saw her doctor today and everything is going well. He's still very disappointed he won't be delivering her baby, but she wants a midwife and to give birth at home.”

Jenna winced. “I'm glad she's following her heart.”

“So am I. How's Violet?”

“Recovering. She's getting stronger. The bruises are hideous though. He really hurt her.”

“Payment will come to him. I believe in karma.”

“I'm not surprised.”

Serenity laughed again, then drew in a breath. “I miss you, Jenna. I wish you were still here.”

Jenna knew what she was expected to say. As for the truth, she couldn't be sure. She liked her life here but had to admit, Serenity added something unexpected, in a good way. Maybe a lot of something.

“I miss you, too,” she said softly.

“Thank you for saying that. Tom and I will be back soon. It will be a few days. We're driving. See you then.”

“I can't wait. Bye.”

Jenna closed her phone, then turned and saw Beth standing in the doorway leading to the back of the store.

“I let myself in,” her mother said, her voice low and a little stiff. “I take it you were talking to Serenity?”

Jenna swore silently, then nodded, confident Beth had heard her say she missed the other woman.

A thousand excuses flew into her head, but she hadn't done anything wrong, so what exactly was she supposed to apologize for?

More complications, she thought wearily.

“I stopped by to invite you to dinner,” Beth continued. “Violet is coming downstairs for the first time.”

“Thanks,” Jenna told her. “Let me finish locking up and I'll be there.”

 

“My life sucks,” Jenna said later that night, sitting on the chair next to Violet's bed.

Dinner had gone better than she'd thought, with Beth acting relatively normally. She'd avoided looking at Jenna too much, or maybe Jenna had just been expecting trouble. Or wallowing in guilt.

Violet shifted against the pillows that allowed her to sit upright. “I have a body full of bruises and a broken heart. Want to trade?”

“Well, no.”

“Okay, then. What's going on?”

Jenna sighed. “I'm sorry. I'm talking about my problems when that's the last thing you want to hear.”

“Not true. I want to hear about your problems. We're friends.”

Something Jenna appreciated. “Thank you for that.”

“You're welcome.” Violet studied her. “Now start at the beginning. What happened?”

“I had a horrible fight with Ellington a couple of days ago. Part of me says he's just like Aaron and part of me says it's really my fault but I'm trying to blame him. Then I hurt my mother.” Jenna drew in a breath. “Did she, ah, say anything about that to you?”

“No. And I couldn't tell anything was wrong. Are you sure you aren't imagining all this?”

“I don't think so.” Jenna explained about Ellington dropping in to welcome her home and how he'd called Serenity “your mother.”

“I went off on him,” Jenna admitted. “Everything kind of exploded in my head. I'm dealing with a lot—getting to know another family, figuring out how I feel about them. He knows Serenity, so he's totally on her side.”

“Do there have to be sides?” Violet asked.

Jenna got up and closed the bedroom door, then returned to her chair. “When I was in California, Serenity said she thought giving me to my parents had been a mistake. She implied I would have done much better with them or someone else.”

Violet's gaze was steady. “That bothered you.”

“In multiple ways. I love my parents. Why can't she respect that? She's the one who gave me up. Because of that I had a great life. I'm not saying it wouldn't have been as good with her and Tom, but that's not what happened. Now she's back and I feel like she's trying to force a level of intimacy that we simply don't have. That kind of a relationship can only grow with time.”

“Is that what you fought with Ellington about?”

“Sort of.” Their argument had been confusing, and she couldn't remember exactly what each of them had said. “Earlier today Serenity called. She and Tom are coming back. They're driving. Anyway, she said she missed me, and I said I
missed her, as well. When I turned around, Mom was standing there.”