Alpha (24 page)

I kept meaning to ask Cade about it, but it kept slipping my mind.

It was dark and I was lying in Cade’s arms in his bed. It was late and I was tired. It had been a long day of school and training. I could tell from Cade’s breathing that he wasn’t sleeping so I decided to finally ask what I’d been curious about for so long.

“
Where are your parents?” I asked softly. I felt him shift slightly underneath me as he pulled me closer.

“
They are dead,” he answered.

His answer took me by surprise. I’m not sure why it hadn’t crossed my mind. The heaviness in his voice revealed that it still affected him deeply so I hugged him closer.

“
They were killed about a year ago by rogues,” he revealed softly.

I remained silent.

“
There had been a couple of rogues in and out of territory a couple of months before, but by the time we discovered that two rogues had entered our territory it had been too late.”

He let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead.

“
I’m sorry,” I said. There was nothing that you could really say that would help with that type of loss, I understood that, but I needed some way to tell him that hearing the loss in his voice had affected me, too. I didn’t like the idea of anything hurting him.

He feathered a kiss to the top my head.

So many things began to fall into place. That bit of information gave me a better understanding of him and his fear for my safety against the rogues that were after me.

This had to be bringing up the memories of what had happened to his parents and I couldn’t help feeling a little bad that I’d been pushing so hard against him when all he was trying to do was to make sure that what happened to his parents didn’t also happen to me.

I felt like a complete bitch. I promised myself that I’d be more understanding in the future.

My thoughts drifted to Blake and Keri.

“
Blake seems to like Keri,” I started as I ran my hand across his bare chest.

“
Yeah, I think you’re right,” he replied, confirming my suspicion.

“
Is that type of thing allowed?” I asked.

“
What type of thing?” he asked.

“
You know, a werewolf together with a human,” I clarified.

“
There are no rules that say it isn’t allowed but it doesn’t normally happen unless the wolf has lost their mate,” he explained.

“
Blake hasn’t found his mate yet, has he?” I asked, already being pretty sure he hadn’t.

“
No,” he answered.

“
How often does it happen that a werewolf doesn’t find their mate?” I asked, wanting to know more.

“
Not very often. Fate has a way of making sure their paths cross.”

Well, that made it very complicated for Blake and Keri. There was no disputing it; Keri was human, and Blake hadn’t found his mate yet.

It meant that despite how they felt about each other, there was no point in doing anything about it because when Blake found his mate, he would end up hurting Keri.

I kind of felt for them.

“
There is no point in getting emotionally involved with someone until you find your mate because you’d have to walk away from them.”

I understood why. There was no way anyone else—human or not—could compete with what I felt for Cade.

In that moment, I felt a wave of emotion for him and I hugged him tighter.

“
I’m glad I found you,” I revealed softly.

I felt him move and he shifted beside me so he was lying on his side, facing me, when he leaned forward and kissed me. I reveled in the feel of excitement that tingled through me at the contact of his lips against mine.

“
I’m glad I found you, too,” he whispered. In the darkness, I couldn’t see him properly. I felt the heat of his gaze on me, though, which made my stomach flip.

It was astounding how with one simple touch he could make me feel so much.

Through the last week, it had become harder and harder to stop at just kissing. I hadn’t been quite ready to go further, although my hormones that were running wild in my body disputed that.

I cared for him more than I ever had for a boy and I was sure that I was already starting to fall in love with him. But I wasn’t ready to say those words to him just yet and he hadn’t said them to me, either.

We’d come a long way from our first meeting.

He was so much more than the arrogant and self-assured player that I thought he was when I’d first met him. In the short time we’d been together, I’d learned that he was compassionate and caring while still being strong and in control. He was also extremely possessive and over-protective as well.

No matter what I was going through or feeling, just a small touch from him settled me into a peacefulness that only he could give me.

“
What’s going through your mind, Scar?” he asked softly.

In the darkness, I put my hand on his cheek and caressed it as I leaned forward and touched my lips to his.

He let me lead him into the kiss as my tongue tentatively slid into his mouth and touched his. His arms slid around me and pulled me closer as I deepened the kiss tentatively. Normally he always instigated it and I simply followed his lead.

I loved being in charge for a change.

I pulled away and looked at him in the darkness for a moment before I leaned toward him again and kissed him harder.

And in that moment, I’d made my decision. Even though the thought made me nervous and I had no idea how I was going to explain my little white lie, I was ready.

His tongue tangled with mine and he groaned against my lips. Our kiss intensified and I was getting lost in the new reactions to him when he pulled away.

“
We need to stop,” he whispered breathlessly, rolling onto his back away from me.

For a moment, I felt nervous; I had no idea what I was doing, but I sat up and faced him.

“
I don’t want to stop,” I whispered.

He didn’t move.

“
I don’t want you to feel pressured to do something you’re not ready to do,” he told me.

I hadn’t expected him to say that. I’d actually expected him to take me in his arms and kiss me. Did he not want me? A little surprised and hurt, I sat quietly, unsure of what to say or do, so I said what I was thinking.

“
Don’t you want me?” I said, trying not to sound as hurt as I felt.

He sat up quickly and faced me.

“
Of course I want you, Scar,” he said. “From the moment I saw you, before I even found out you were my mate, I wanted you.”

Butterflies began to flutter in my stomach at his words. He wanted me.

“
I just don’t want you to feel pressured to do this,” he explained as he reached for my hand in the darkness and I felt his fingers thread with mine.

“
I don’t,” I assured him as I leaned closer and touched my lips to his.

He remained still as his lips moved against mine tentatively. It was like he was holding back.

“
I want you,” I whispered as I pulled my lips from his.

“
Are you sure?” he asked hoarsely. I could feel his control was hanging on by a thread.

“
Yes.”

He reached for me and pulled me over him. His strong arms positioned me above him and I straddled him as his lips crushed against mine. He kissed me urgently like he was letting his need and want for me take control.

I let him take the lead as I felt my body come alive against his. I wanted this, but I couldn’t help the nervousness that was building up inside of me. Our bodies fit perfectly together and I felt his need for me. I was scared I’d be bad at this and I was scared it would hurt.

I snaked my arms around his neck and threaded my hands through his hair as he kissed me like I was a life source keeping him alive. Moments later he stopped kissing me and I was breathing hard in anticipation of what was to come.

“
I can’t tell you how many times I thought and dreamed about this moment,” he whispered to me as he lifted me up off his lap and lay me down on the bed.

Instead of lying down with me, he shifted off the bed. I lifted up with my elbows.

“
What are you doing?” I asked hoarsely as light flooded into the room.

“
I’ve been waiting for this moment and I’m not going to miss a thing,” he stated as he walked back over to the bed. “I want to see all of you.”

Feeling a bundle of nerves knot in my stomach, I licked my lips and his eyes narrowed at the gesture as he knelt on the bed with one knee. I lay down flat and he moved onto the bed. His body covered mine carefully and he kept the majority of his body weight off me by holding himself up on his elbows on either side of me.

He kissed me tenderly before I felt him settle his body between my legs. He ran a hand from my thigh to my knee softly as he guided it around his waist.

“
God, you feel so good,” he whispered against my lips as he ground his body against mine.

As good as it felt and as much as I wanted to give in to the new feelings of wanting him in a physical way, I was scared. I debated whether to come clean or just hold my tongue and pretend. It only took me a moment to decide it was best to come clean.

Feeling him against me, I felt a wave of panic at the thought of what was going to happen and I stiffened.

Cade stopped.

“
What’s wrong?” he asked as he lifted his lips from mine and searched my face.

“
I lied,” I blurted before I could chicken out, letting my hands fall from him.

His forehead creased in confusion as he pulled away from me and sat up beside me. The worrying thing was that he’d put space between us and I felt the loss of his warmth.

“
What did you lie about?” he asked, sounding confused and strained at the same time.

I took a deep breath and let it out. The reality was that I was scared he was going to be angry with me.

“
I lied about being with other guys,” I confessed nervously while watching him for his response.

For a moment he just stared at me and then he surprised me by smiling. I expected him to be angry so the fact that he wasn’t threw me off guard.

“
You’ve never been with another guy?” he asked with that stupid grin on his face. He wasn’t angry.

“
Never,” I answered, shaking my head, confirming that I was a virgin.

“
Why did you lie about it?” he asked with curiosity as he cocked his head to the side and watched me twist my hands in my lap.

“
It was hard thinking about you with all the other girls you’ve been with…and I wanted you to know what that felt like,” I replied truthfully. I dropped my gaze, unable to face him. “Even though I knew you’d find out the truth when we mated.”

“
Scar,” he said as he reached for and lifted my chin. “I wished you hadn’t lied to me.”

Had I read him wrong? Was he still angry with me?

“
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you being with other guys and to be honest…it was hard,” he admitted in a serious tone. His smile had faded.

“
I understand why you did it. But I want you to understand that from the time I first met you, all the girls before you ceased to exist. You are all I want and need,” he declared softly, taking both my hands in his.

Everything inside of me turned to mush at his beautiful words.

“
Do you understand that?”

I nodded my head, unable to form a response.

“
Come here so I can show you how much I want you,” he instructed gently, but I could see a hunger in his eyes. Still mesmerized by his words, I moved closer to him and he pulled me onto his lap as my legs wrapped around him.

“
I don’t want you to be scared,” he whispered as he feathered a gentle kiss to my lips.

“
I’ll take it slow, okay?” he said against my throat as he feathered another kiss. Any coherent thoughts I had were fleeing out of my mind at the feel of his lips trailing down my throat and I arched my neck to give him better access.

“
You need to understand that I’m also going to have to mark you with a bite to complete the mating,” he said, pulling his lips from my neck and cradling my face in his hands.

“
Where?” I asked.

His fingers trailed from my neck to the place where my neck curved into my shoulder. At that point he said, “Here.”

“
Okay.”

And with that one word I gave him my consent to take my virginity and mark me as his.