Alma Mater (32 page)

"I don't know."

"Can you be a wife?"

"No, Mom, I can't. I can be a partner, I can be a friend, but I don't
think
I
can be a wife."

R. J. smiled. "Sometimes I think you have an old head on those
beautiful shoulders and then other times, like upon hearing that you've
been expelled from school, I wonder what's up there."

"Me, too." She paused. "You're worried about me getting married."

"Of course I am. Any mother would worry. I want you to be happy,
and you can't be happy being second fiddle. You need to be in charge,
to some extent you need to be the center of attention. You don't ask
for it, honey, it just comes to you. I don't know how happy you'd be
otherwise."

"So you don't think I'd be a good wife, either?"

"You could, but you'll pay a high price. I sometimes think your
generation is different from mine, like night and day. You girls aren't
going to fulfill yourself by comparing notes about your children. You
all want to be out and doing, out in the world."

"If I marry Charly you think I'll be towed along behind him?" she
questioned, interested in her mother's perspective.

"Inevitably, because of who he is. You're both stars in your own
ways, but it's still a man's world."

"I
always thought you wanted me to get married."

"I do, When you're ready and to the right man, of course, I do.
There's a great joy in a strong marriage, a joy without substitute."
"You know a lot, Mom."

"When you get as old as
I
am, you're bound to have learned a little
something."

"You're not old."

"Yes, well, I'm not young."

"If it will make you feel better, Charly hasn't asked me to marry
him."
^,

"What makes me feel better is that we've had this talk." She rose.

"All right, let's go to town. We might as well talk to your father and get
it over with. He should be in a good mood, and that's in your favor."
"I'm glad to hear that."

"He's dealing with the Wallaces again. That always perks him up."
"Ratshot again?"

"No. This time it's Yolanda."

"God, she must be the oldest living cow in the universe."
"She's the oldest living cow in the Wallace's kitchen now."
"Mom, there's something else I'd like to talk about."

R. J., who had stood up to grab her purse off the counter, turned
around, "Shoot."

"You said you and Aunt Bunny might start a nursery."

"We're making progress."

"That's what I would love to do. Mom, let me work for you. I'll
work cheap. I'd love to start a business like that."

R. J. put her purse back on the counter. "Do you really think, if you
marry him, Charly would live here?"

"Mom, we just sat here and both agreed I wouldn't make a good
wife."

"A traditional wife," R. J. added as a modification.

"Some people are afraid of life, they're afraid to leave home and go
out into the world." Vic rose and walked over to her mother to look
her straight in the eye. "I'm not like that. But Surry Crossing is exactly
where I want to be. Working with living things is exactly what I want
to do."

"You don't really expect me to agree to your not finishing college,
do you?"

"Mom, I do. I finally found what I want to do."

R. J. glanced out the window at the river, at the pale winter light. "Well, I didn't finish college either. I'd be very pleased if you did."
"Mignon can finish for both of us."

A long silence followed. Even Piper was quiet, waiting for R. J. to
speak.

"All right. I'll talk to Bunny. I can't make a decision without her."

_W

hile not pleased, Frank took the news better than either
R. J. or Vic had anticipated. R. J. decided to stay in town to
run a few errands and then come home with Frank. She

asked Vic to pick up Mignon from school.

As the aqua-and-white Impala idled in front of Surry High, Vic
watched the cirrus clouds turn to ruddy gold. A large wreath hung over
the main door to the school, a reminder that she hadn't bought a single
Christmas present. A leather bomber jacket would be just right for
Charly, but they were so expensive. She would have to think of some
thing else. She wanted to buy a ring for Chris and then thought that
might best be given on graduation day. Maybe a necklace or some
thing for Christmas, depending on the cost.

A small Ranger truck pulled up behind her and the driver honked the horn. Vic twisted around to see Teeney Rendell.

Vic cut her motor, got out, and walked to the Ranger. "Hey, what are you doing home?"

"Holyoke lets us out early. I'm here to pick up Walter. You look
good, as always."

"You do, too." Vic noticed Teeney's seal-brown eyes and hair.
"Last time I saw you was summer."

"This summer I'm getting a job on Cape Cod. The pay's better
than around here. I guess you'll be looking for a real job soon."

"Yeah."

"You'll find a good one. I just know it." A flicker of recognition lit up Teeney's eyes.

Vic, too, recognized it, an unspoken sense. She knew without be
ing told that Teeney was gay.

The school bell rang, sounding oddly like the bell at a boxing
match.

You know, there are times when I miss this place. Miss being in
high school without a thought in my head." Vic pushed away from the
truck.

"You always had thoughts in your head."

Vic laughed. "If I don't see you, have a Merry Christmas." "You, too, Vic."

Vic walked over to the Impala, leaning against the passenger door.
She didn't want being gay to become the center of her existence,
but she had to look at herself in a new way. After all, she only knew
how to be straight
_;
that's what she was trained to be. She would have
to change her expectations of herself. Maybe it was like learning a new
language.

"Vic!" Mignon waved, skipping toward her. When she reached her,
she threw her arms around her sister, giving her a big hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Being your chauffeur. Mom's busy."

"See you, Walter." Mignon waved at the best-looking guy in
the senior class. She whispered, "Makes me hurt to look at him." She
raised her voice when she recognized Teeney in the Ranger. "Hey,
Teeney."

"Hey, Mignon." Teeney waved as she fired up the Ford truck and
pulled away from the curb.

As students walked by, Mignon nodded or called out. She'd be
come a popular girl. Vic noticed she even said something nice to Mar
jorie Solomon.

"Such discipline."

Mignon wrinkled her nose. " 'Cause you and Mom beat me black
and blue." She hopped in the car, bouncing on the seat. "When are you
going to let me drive this 'chine?"

"When you get your first gray hair." Vic cranked the motor, gun
ning it down the road just to hear Mignon squeal.

"Hey, where are we going?"

"Uncle Don's. I want to make a phone call without Mom and Dad

around. Uncle Don will let me use the phone in his office."

"Oh, baby." Mignon rolled her eyes and then made kissing sounds.
"Creep."

"Queer."

"Mignon, give me a break."

"How come you're home? I didn't think you got break until next week, speaking of breaks." Mignon smiled, finding herself clever.

"I'm home in disgrace."

Mignon turned to face her sister, her body rigid with expectation. "They find out?"

"No."

"You know Charly was here?"

"I know."

"That why you're home?"

"I'm home because I got thrown out of school and I had to tell
Mom and Dad."

"No!"

"Yes."

"They throw you out because you're queer?"

"No, dammit, nobody knows but you, unless you've blabbed your
big mouth."

"Thanks." Mignon dropped back on the seat.

"Sorry, Mignon, it's been exhausting. Mom was really upset. Then
she and I drove down to tell Dad. He was okay. I mean, he wasn't
blessing me, you know,
^-
but he wasn't condemning me either. I thought
I'd sail right through this, but I guess I was more scared than I knew.
God, I hate to disappoint Mom and Dad."

Mignon rapped her finger against her school books. "Jeez, then
how are you going to tell them about Chris?"

"I don't know, but it's going to have to wait a bit. One thing at a
time."

"What'd you do?"

"Huh?"

"What'd you do to get kicked out of William and Mary?"

"Oh, I went over to the Catholic Church and put a barbecue apron
on the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mother, and I gave her a chef's hat
and cooking utensils and a grill."

"That's so cool!" Mignon clapped her hands. "Too cool."

Vic laughed. "It was pretty funny, but I got caught, and that's that."
"Are you upset?"

"I didn't think I was, but I guess I am a little bit. I'm going back to
morrow, pack up, try to work out my rent, and I'm out of there."
"What about Chris?"

"It's not like she's in Tunis, Mignon."

"She wants to live with you?"

"After she graduates . . . yes, she does."

Red and gold metallic streamers were wound all around the light
poles at the car dealership. A giant Christmas tree took place of pride
behind the huge plate-glass window, almost but not totally obscuring
Hojo at her command post.

They parked.

"Aunt Bunny's here," Mignon warned. "Wearing her binocs. Does
she think it's, like, a fashion accessory or something?"

"Uncle Don's her most perfect fashion accessory." Vic knew she
was going to have to tell Bunny about events but hoped she could just
squeeze by today without having to spill the beans.

"Mignon, let me see," Hojo squealed as the sisters came into the
display room.

Mignon trotted over. "Hoops. Finally." She noticed Hojo's nails.
"Oh, Hojo, that is so cool."

Each nail was painted a different color, and each nail had a star, a sun, a moon, Saturn, or some other planet on it.

Hojo rolled her fingers in front of her. "The solar system. I got
tired of moons. Took me four hours!"

"That is so cool!" Mignon repeated, with slightly less enthusiasm.
Vic headed toward Bunny.