Alluring Turmoil (10 page)

“Hey, Lexi. It’s good to see you again. This is an unexpected, but nice surprise. Glad to see you back with Jude,” Cruz murmurs quietly from the couch. Behind his drums, on stage, in his element, he’s a God, but around people, he’s shy and timid.

Lexi giggles and hugs them back, taking an extra second to smile at Cruz. Jessie grabs her again and pulls her in for another hug. Reaching for her waist, I pull her from Jessie, and tuck her against my side.

“Jessie, if you want to be able to play the bass tomorrow night, you’ll kindly keep your hands off of my woman,” I growl.

At that statement, five pairs of eyebrows raise and all turn towards me. Jessie grins and throws his hands up while Dade belts out a laugh; Liam drops his chin and smirks, and Cruz just smiles at me.

I look at Lexi and she’s staring at me as if she doesn’t know what she just heard. Her eyebrows are still raised and her mouth is slightly open.

I can’t help it; I lean in and swipe my tongue into her mouth, before giving her a hard kiss on those moist red lips. I don’t know where that came from. The guys would never make a move on Lexi, but I had to let them know I’m serious about her.

My cards are on the table.

“You assholes ready to rock? Let’s go. Lex, you can hang here or follow us out. You can really do whatever you want to do, but the best view is from the side stage, and I’d like for you to watch us warm up and rehearse.”

She just stands there, so I take her hands and motion the guys out of the room. “You ok?” She nods her head yes. “Are you coming with me?”

“Yes, Jude. I’m coming with you,” she replies softly.

We walk towards the stage hand in hand.

Lexi

H
is woman. Jude just basically beat his chest and claimed me. He called me his woman.

This is nuts. Yesterday, I was just me, just Lexi. I was successful and single. I had Erik, Bradi, Micah, and work. Jude pops up and I thought we hated each other. Last night was, well it was horrid, but today… OMG today! Am I hallucinating? Maybe I’m still asleep and this isn’t really happening. Maybe this is a dream. If this isn’t real, please God don’t let me wake up. Jude just claimed me as his woman. It’s almost like we never parted…

I stand at the right side of the stage with a couple of roadies and sound technicians as another roadie runs to find me the chair Jude demanded he get for me. I watch as the guys pick up their instruments and start to warm up.

I can’t take my eyes off of Jude. This is his element. He grabs the microphone stand and moves his head from side to side to stretch his neck, before dropping down into a few squats to limber up his legs. This causes his jeans to tighten over his strong thighs and his perfect ass. I can’t move my eyes.

It’s as if my eyes are lasers and his ass is the target. He looks over his shoulder and catches me staring. He winks and jumps up on his toes a few times.

Jessie calls out, “Hey, we doing the normal warm up?” with his brows raised in question.

Jude looks at me and calls back, “Yes. Stick with it. Best range coverage that way, so yeah, usual warm-up.” Our eyes are still locked, and as the first strains of Jessie’s bass float out, Jude starts to sing. His body is facing the empty arena, but his head is facing me and his eyes are interlocked with mine.

My brain suddenly wraps around the song choice.

This
is the usual warm up song? He’s still looking at me as the first verse of
My Heart Was Red
streams through the empty arena strong and clear.

This is
my
song… This is the first song Jude ever wrote for me. His gravelly voice reaches straight into my heart and reclaims its ownership.

My knees go weak and I feel lightheaded. Just then, the roadie returns with a chair and I gratefully sink into it. As my rear touches the seat, Jude smiles and turns to face the sound tech on the floor as he continues to sing.

I lay my head back and close my eyes, just taking his voice in.

“I walked alone; all alone,

always alone, like I was made of stone

even in a crowd I was always alone

alive but not living

until the day broke and my heart was red.”

Hearing the chorus brings me back to the first time he sang it for me…

Lexi

9 years ago

It’s hot tonight. It’s 11:30 and it’s still at least eighty five degrees out here.

It’s August in Louisiana, so the temperature is not unusual. But the humidity is making it feel like it’s the middle of the day.

A bunch of us are at a bonfire behind the levee trying to get in a few more carefree days before school starts in a couple of weeks. We’re a mix of those still attending high school and those who recently graduated, but haven’t started college yet. We’re on the river, but there’s no breeze.

It’s really too hot for a fire, but without it, it would be too dark to see. There are no lights out here. It’s just the levee, the river, the trees, and an occasional barge passing by.

Someone has their truck door open and the radio on, so we have music. People are spread out everywhere on tailgates, blankets, fallen trees, or just in the grass or sand.

Most people are drinking. Wine coolers, beer, and Boone’s cheap wine are the most popular choices.

I’ve had two wine coolers and a glass of Boone’s Strawberry Hill; add that to the oppressive heat, and I’m pretty buzzed.

The temperature is really getting to everyone, so people start to clear out around midnight. By 12:30, the only people left are Erik, Jude, and me.

Jude has been playing his guitar and singing all night. A few girls have tried to talk to him, but he’s been in a strange mood the past month or so, and he didn’t take anyone up on their offers to keep him company. This pleases me.

In two weeks, I’ll be a senior. Hunter was accepted to UCLA, and has already moved to California to get settled before the semester starts. We both agreed that the long distance thing wasn’t in the cards for us, so we ended on good terms back in June.

Erik is going into business management at LSU. Jude has decided that college is not for him and he wants to focus on his music. So he’s recorded a few demos and has sent them off to various music producers.

He’s good. No, he’s great. His voice is both gravelly and smooth like butter at the same time. It’s amazing. He’s amazing.

Erik is tired and asks me if I’m ready to go since I rode here with him, but I’m buzzed and not ready to go home yet. I say I’ll stay as long as Jude can bring me home.

Jude looks over at me with hooded eyes, then at Erik, shrugs, and says he’ll bring me home. He doesn’t mind.

Erik packs up, kisses my head, and fist bumps Jude before heading to his car and saying he’ll catch up with us tomorrow and to be safe.

Jude and I don’t talk, but we’re so used to each other, we don’t really need to. He’s sitting on the blanket with his back against a River Birch tree. I lie back on the blanket near his legs and stare at the stars, while I listen to him play.

After about fifteen minutes of playing, Jude also starts to sing. I’ve never heard this song before, but it’s beautiful. My eyes drift shut as his voice soothes me. When the chorus comes around for the second time, I suddenly have a revelation… this song sounds like it’s about me…

Is this song about me?

I listen to Jude’s hypnotic voice and open my eyes again. The final chords fade… he’s staring at me.

Our eyes remain locked for awhile, neither looking away. Both of us are barely breathing. The air suddenly feels charged. Jude audibly swallows.

I sit up some, leaning on my elbows. “Jude?” I begin uncertainly. I try again. “Jude, can I ask you something?” My lips barely move, but he hears me.

He looks from my eyes to my lips and back again before answering. “You can ask me anything, Lex.”

“What’s the name of that song?”

“It’s called
My Heart Was Red
.”

I sit up a little more, which makes my breasts rise up. His eyes follow the movement and I can see he’s gritting his teeth. “Jude? Um… is-is that song about me? Did you write that song for me?”

I hold my breath as I wait for his answer. I’m terrified now that I’ve put myself out there. I’m terrified he’ll say no… that I’m imagining things… projecting what I want to be instead of what truly is. But I’m also terrified he’ll say yes. Because if he says yes, everything will change…

Jude looks into my eyes with those mesmerizing hazel eyes of his. He stares at me so hard and long, I think he’s not going to answer. Then, just as my heart is breaking and I’m closing my eyes to hide my pain and mortification from him, he answers in a whisper, “Yes, Lex. The song is about you. It’s always about you.”

My eyes snap open, but I’m frozen in place. We stare at each other. Neither moving, just taking each other in. Everything he feels is suddenly visible in his eyes as he looks at me. I know my eyes mirror his.

We reach for each other at the same time. I push his guitar down and climb into his lap as he pulls me up and over him.

We remain this way for a long time, me on his lap with my legs straddling his. His hands are on my hips, holding me in place, as our faces are aligned and we stare into each other’s eyes, and breathe each other in with our mouths centimeters apart.

Finally, thank you God, finally, Jude lowers his head and kisses me. It’s a gentle, exploratory kiss. At first he barely brushes his soft lips against mine. He kisses one corner of my mouth and then the other before returning to my lips.

We kiss sweetly for awhile. Just a gentle brushing of lips with him pressing light kisses all over my face. He kisses my mouth, my eyes, my nose, and my forehead, before he returns and softly caresses my lips again.

I love the way he’s kissing me, cherishing me, but dammit… I want more! I squeeze his hips with my thighs and stand on my knees, better aligning our mouths and open my mouth, sweeping my tongue against the seam of his lips. He opens his mouth to grant me access. I immediately run my tongue over and around his, making sure to explore every surface of his mouth, before gently sucking on his tongue.

He groans as I suck on his tongue and he grips my hips tightly, his hands massaging the curve at the top of my ass. He’s trying to hold me still, but I can feel his cock hard beneath me, right at my center, so I rub myself against him.

With a growl, he flips me over and lays me back, covering my body with his. He spreads my thighs with his hips and presses his rigid cock right against my wet core. He starts to move, never breaking our kiss.

Taking my leg and lifting it over his hip, he trails his hand up my thigh. It meets the bottom of my shorts and he squeezes my thigh before trailing his fingertip whisper soft to the edge of my bikini bottoms.

Our mouths are fused and we’re both moaning and gasping. My hands pull his shirt up, my nails dragging up his back, and he breaks our kiss long enough to remove his hand, so he can rip the shirt over his head and fling it away.

I run both hands up his body. From his cut abs to his firm pecs, I can’t get enough. He has tattoos on both shoulders and a large tattoo across the top of his chest. I absorb every detail as I trace them with my hands and mouth.

He jerks me up to a slightly raised position, and grabs the hem of my shirt before pulling it over my head. He throws it. Where it lands, I have no idea. Nor do I care as he lays back on me and fuses his mouth back to mine while his naked chest is pressed against my skin. The only thing between our chests is my bikini top.

My hands are in his hair, my fingers fisting the blond strands with his signature purple tips tightly. It’s so soft. I lay my head back and break our kiss so I can breathe.

He trails his lips down my chin and neck, gently licking my sweat, and nipping as he goes. His mouth gets to my breasts, covered in my bikini top. My nipples are standing tall and proud, clearly visible through the thin material. Each ragged breath I take brings my aching breasts closer to his mouth.

He mutters, “Lex, dear God, Lexi. You’re killing me,” and takes my nipple into his mouth through my top.