Read All the Things I Didn't See Online
Authors: Cindy Sutherland
Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Literature & Fiction, #Fiction, #Gay, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Gay Romance, #Genre Fiction, #Short Stories
When he was ready, he opened his eyes again, smiling at the patience Josh was showing. He hadn’t been sure the man would be able to stay in the kitchen the whole time.
Josh stood, turning to face Chris for a second. “Down the hall, second bedroom on the right. There is an en suite attached, and it has just a shower with no tub. It will be easier to get in and out of.”
“Good. Well, let’s get this done. I want to do some exploring around the island before I have to catch the afternoon ferry home!” Chris’s good-natured way made both the men feel more comfortable with him.
When they got there, Josh let Sam get himself out of his robe and shirt while he found clean sweats and boxers and another one of his own shirts for Sam to wear.
Josh turned to see Sam was standing there in nothing but his boxers, looking small and nervous, and the bandage on his chest stood out in vivid relief.
Chris cleared his throat. “So… I’m going to take off the old bandage and then cover the incision with this waterproof adhesive for the shower. After you’re done, I’ll clean the wound and put a fresh dressing over it, okay?”
Both men nodded, and Chris turned to Josh, eyebrow lifted in a question. Josh just jerked his chin toward Sam. He was staying this time.
He walked over and stood behind Sam, his chest pressed against Sam’s back. Josh’s hands came up to rest on Sam’s hips, offering all the comfort he could.
He was glad that Sam couldn’t see his face as Chris worked. The raw, red scar on Sam’s chest brought tears to his eyes. It wasn’t that it was horrific to look at, because it wasn’t. It was more because it was always going to be a stark reminder of almost losing this incredible man forever. The thought of no Sam in his life left him feeling bleak and cold.
A small smile curled the corners of Sam’s mouth. He turned his head and shyly kissed Josh’s jaw. Josh looked down at him, his eyes softening as he did. “Sorry. I’m being a bit of a freak.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” Sam reached up with one hand, stroking Josh’s face. Josh turned into the touch and kissed his palm.
Chris almost regretted intruding into their moment as he finished covering the wound with a plastic bandage. “Sam, you think you’re going to be steady enough on your feet in there?”
Sam looked at Chris and shook his head, apology in his eyes. Chris just smiled and looked instead at Josh. “I think he wants you to help him. Can you handle that?”
Sam wouldn’t look at him, so Josh stepped around to his front and used one hand to lift his chin. “Do you, Sam?”
Sam bit his bottom lip, looking embarrassed before finally nodding. “Would you be okay with it?”
Josh leaned down and kissed his nose. “Hmm, let’s see. Am I okay with getting into the shower with my naked boyfriend and washing him down?” He hugged Sam gently. “I don’t know. Seems like kind of a chore to me.”
Sam smacked his chest and snuggled into his neck.
Josh looked up at Chris. “I’ll go with him. Will you stay out here, though… just in case?”
Chris crossed over to sit in a chair in the corner, pulling out his phone on the way. “No problem. I’ll just give my girl a call. Watching you two lovebirds is making me miss her.”
Josh smiled gratefully at him and gathered up Sam’s clean boxers and a pair for himself. He steered Sam to the bathroom and shut the door.
He went to the shower and opened the door, reaching in to turn on the water, allowing it to warm up. He walked back over to Sam and slipped off the cargo shorts he’d been wearing that morning and hooked them on the back of the door as well.
Sam nodded shyly and pushed his boxers down off his hips while Josh did the same. They both stepped out of their underwear, and then Josh wrapped his arm around Sam’s waist, leading him to the shower.
They stood there for a few minutes, just letting the water wash over them. The warmth felt amazing on Sam’s aching chest, and he could feel the muscles relaxing.
Josh reached over and grabbed a washcloth and some shower gel, working it into a good lather before starting at Sam’s shoulders and washing gently down his back.
He scrubbed away the phantom smell of blood and the real smell of the hospital, taking another step in the recovery process.
When he had done every part of Sam he could reach while standing, he kissed him gently again and leaned his back against the wall for support, turning the showerhead so Sam was always under the water.
He determinedly ignored the half-hard cock that was only a breath away. This wasn’t about sex. This was about making Sam feel like a person again. He needed to feel clean, like he could wash away some of what Mathew Reynolds did to him.
He stood back up, looking at Sam for permission before washing over the most intimate parts of his body.
Once he was totally clean, Josh rinsed him off and grabbed the shampoo. He lathered up Sam’s hair, smiling as his boyfriend’s eyes slipped closed and he hummed in pure bliss. Josh scratched his way across Sam’s scalp, and that bubble of warmth in Josh’s chest almost exploded.
When he was satisfied that Sam’s hair was clean, he tipped Sam’s head back gently and rinsed out the shampoo. Deciding to forgo the conditioner in the interest of getting Sam some rest, he quickly rinsed himself, blushing under Sam’s appreciative gaze, and then turned off the water.
He stepped out of the shower into the steamy air and grabbed a towel off the heated rack. He took Sam’s hand and led him out of the shower, standing him on the thick mat to protect his feet from the cool tile floor.
He dried Sam off using the thick, warmed towel and helped him step into his clean boxers.
As he pulled them up, he leaned in to give a quick kiss to the cut of Sam’s hipbone before settling them into place. He grabbed his own robe off the back of the door and wrapped Sam in it and then quickly dried himself and got into his underwear.
Sam pouted a little as Josh covered himself up, and Josh rolled his eyes at him.
As he went to open the door, Sam stopped him. Josh tilted his head inquiringly, and Sam smiled.
“Thank you.”
Josh could have asked for what, but in reality, he knew. He framed Sam’s face with his hands and kissed him, pouring all his love and affection into it and then pulling back.
“You’re welcome.”
When he opened the door, Chris rose from his chair to smile at them. “Are you ready to get that dressing on?”
Sam nodded and let Josh lead him over to lie on the bed. Josh undid the robe and folded it back, then pulled the blanket from the bottom of the bed up over Sam’s legs.
He grabbed a pair of sweats he’d left on the end of the bed and slipped them on.
When Sam was ready, Chris removed the plastic bandage and got the cleaning solution out of his bag. It was all done swiftly and carefully, and the wound was covered again by a layer of nonstick padding and taped into place.
“There, now, all done.” Chris was gentle and efficient, and Josh couldn’t have asked for any better help in looking after Sam.
Sam yawned before answering. “Okay. Kind of tired now.”
Chris chuckled. “I have no doubt. Between the exercise, the shower, and your meds, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted.” He packed up his bag and got ready to go.
Sam nodded sleepily and looked at Josh, chin tilting up for a kiss that was gladly given.
With one last look, Josh turned and headed for the door, with Chris right behind him. They walked down the hall to the front door.
“Nah, I really do want a few hours to explore the island and I’m thinking you could use a nap too.” Chris smiled knowingly. “This process is just as hard on the loved ones as it is on the patient. Get some rest and look after yourself. You’ll need all the strength you can get to deal with that one, I can tell. Once this lassitude wears off and he starts to regain his strength, I’m betting he’s going to be quite the handful!”
“You really have no idea.” Josh smirked. “I can’t wait.” Chris laughed out loud at that. “Dude, you are so gone!” Josh nodded lazily. “Yep, I really am. But I love it.”
Josh closed and locked the door and padded back down the hallway. As he stepped into the bedroom, he saw Sam sleeping there, looking so beautiful lying on the bed, snoring softly. Josh decided that maybe a nap wasn’t such a bad idea.
He crossed to the bed and slid under the covers beside Sam, smiling as one hand unerringly reached for his and they linked together. Josh faded off to sleep with the smell of shampoo and soap and Sam tickling his nose.
awoke a couple hours later, sitting up a little to look at the clock. Seeing the time, he gently laid Sam’s hand on the bed and then slid out of bed. He quietly grabbed a T-shirt and left the room.
Tugging on the shirt, he headed to the kitchen. Paul would be there soon, and Josh wanted to get the prep work done for supper.
He grabbed the chicken breasts out of the fridge and gathered all the vegetables he wanted to grill. He was trying to keep meals light yet tasty so that they wouldn’t be too hard on Sam’s tummy. He knew the pain meds Sam was on could sometimes have side effects that included nausea, but so far, Sam seemed to have avoided it.
Josh put a simple marinade together and poured it in a plastic bag before dropping the chicken in and then putting it in the fridge. Once again, he sent up a silent thank-you to his mother, who believed that her son needed to learn to cook as much as his sister did.
As he prepared the vegetables, his mind wandered back to the shower he’d shared with Sam. It wasn’t how he thought he’d see Sam naked for the first time. But in some ways, it was almost more intimate. He loved how Sam just sank into him, letting Josh take care of him. It made him feel trusted and loved.
He couldn’t deny that he was looking forward to a time when making love was a part of their growing relationship. Josh had a feeling that his boyfriend could be a real firecracker when it came to sex, and the thought made his dick twitch in his pants.
Whoa… smarten up, Kelly!
Josh thought. He could only imagine the torment coming his way if he was standing around with a tent in his sweats when Paul showed up.
Once the veggies were wrapped in foil and everything else was ready to go, Josh made his way to the living room. He sat on the couch and picked up his laptop, booting it up and surfing over to Facebook.
He groaned when he saw the dozens of messages waiting for him in his inbox, but it was nice to see the support the fans were giving both of them.
He skimmed over his wall, smiling at the familiar names popping up over and over. People posted songs, snippets of poetry, and silly pictures to make him smile.
Josh had never regretted joining
After Sunset
, and one of the reasons was the amazing fans he’d found. They were loyal and kindhearted, and he loved it when they told him about finding new lifelong friends through watching the show.
Some actors could only dream of having that kind of an impact on an audience.
What happened with Mathew Reynolds was a tragic accident of fate that Josh was coming to grips with, and he was sure therapy would help him with that.
He’d just finished replying to a couple of messages when his phone buzzed on the table, followed seconds later by a ferry horn blast.
Dude, get your ass down here and give me a hand. I only got two and I need four.
What the fuck did you bring?
Come and help me, bitch, and you’ll find out!
On my way!
Josh watched those impossibly long eyelashes flutter against pale cheeks.
“Hmmm?”
Josh chuckled. “The ferry’s in, and Paul needs some help getting your stuff here.”
Sam groaned a little. “He’s here already? How long have I been sleeping?”
“About three hours.” Josh kissed him again. “You okay with him knowing about us? I mean, if you want to keep it quiet for now, letting Paul know would not be the best way to accomplish that. You know that boy can’t keep a secret to save his life!”
Sam reached up to cup Josh’s cheek. “Why would I ever want to keep quiet about all my dreams coming true… unless you do?” A slight frown marred that beautiful face.
Josh’s hand came up to hold Sam’s to his cheek. “Like I told Stephanie, I could never, ever keep you a secret. I wouldn’t want to for anything.”
The smile he got in return could have lit up New York, and it stole Josh’s breath.
Then his phone buzzed again, and he sighed.
“Better go and get the big baby. You okay here until I get back? Need anything?”
“I’m fine.” He looked around, spotting his phone on the nightstand. “Pass me my cell?”
Josh grabbed it and gave it to Sam. “So it’s okay if I tell Paul you’re my boyfriend?” he teased.
“I’m your boyfriend?” Sam asked, pretending to clutch his heart. “Oh my God, I’m, like… so totally awestruck. Josh Kelly is my boyfriend!” He smacked Josh on the arm. “Of course you can tell him, you dork!”
“Good.” Josh gave Sam a little peck on the lips and headed for the door, grabbing his phone and firing off another
on my way
text to Paul. “Be right back!”