Read All My Heart (Count On Me Book 4) Online
Authors: Melyssa Winchester
“You energy me.” I repeat
, liking the sound of them even more now that she’s explained. The way it feels for her, constant movement, it really is perfect for us. The way I feel about Belle, it makes the world go round.
“I energy you, Kayden Walker.”
“Well, I energy you more, Isabelle Reagan.”
“No fair.” She says before sticking her lower lip out and full on pouting at me, which the minute it happens throws me right back into my earlier thought process. God even when she pouts she’s sexy. “You’re using my own word against me.”
Forgoing any answer I might have come up with, I lean in closer again, this time grabbing onto her lip before she has a chance to pull it back and nibbling on it, massaging it gently with my tongue the minute I feel her body tense.
“You really shouldn’t pout, Belle. Bad things happen when you pout.”
I regret the word the minute it falls, but the reaction I’m expecting, the one where her eyes fall and my chest physically hurts because I know I’ve fucked up doesn’t happen. She just smiles before sticking her tongue out at me.
E
xpect the unexpected. This girl is a freaking enigma.
“It’s even worse when you do anything with your tongue.” I moan and this time I’m ready for her. Her reaction isn’t one I expect, but it’s definitely one that I want.
Her body leans in closer and not only does she stick her tongue out again quickly before pulling it back in, but she sticks her bottom lip out, all the while struggling to maintain a straight face. My girl might be an enigma, but she’s also a cheeky one.
All traces of her earlier uncertainty are gone and in its place is the confidence I’ve watched her gain over the last year of us being together. The confidence that I used to think was because of me but I came to learn pretty quick was all her.
“Are you enjoying teasing me, Isabelle?”
“Are you enjoying me teasing you, Kayden?” She smirks before leaning in again and just like before, pressing her parted and ready lips to mine, the sensation of drowning in the feel of her softness almost instantaneous.
I bring her into me, breaking my hands away just long enough to make sure her legs are securely around me before bringing her comfortably into my lap, our lips continuing to move together in unison, connected and complete.
Feeling my body beginning to lean back, remembering in the moment where we are and what leaning back this way is going to lead to, I break the kiss long enough to reach for the other blanket that I laid out on the other side o
f us, pulling it up closer before swinging it around her while doing my best to keep her position on my body the same.
Content that we’re covered, I lay myself back onto the blanket and pull her to
me again, crashing my lips onto hers, this time being driven with a need so strong that it’s hard as hell to keep in check. When I hear her familiar moan against my mouth, the walls surrounding my carefully constructed self-control break wide open and I’m lost.
Succumbing. That’s what I’m doing. I’m succumbing to her.
Every move her hands make, they’re leaving a trail of fire behind. It started when she rested them on my face, but now, as I feel them travelling, it’s becoming more pronounced. Her fingers stroke my ear, her movements repetitive, almost as if she enjoys the feel of them under her. As she moves her fingers up into my hair, I feel the pull the minute our kiss deepens, our hunger for each other no longer able to be suppressed. Her heart beating just as rapidly as mine. Our bodies sinking into the sand from the pressure of her knees digging into it from her position above me.
I’m walking a thi
n line right now, only this time, I don’t know if I have enough will to fight against it. I just want to fall.
“God—Belle.” I moan, my voice hoarse, breathless,
and completely taken over by need. “We need—to stop.”
“Kay...”
Holy shit. The way she sounds when I’ve taken her breath away, I’ve heard it before but never like this. There’s a heavier note when normally she sounds higher pitched. I’m not the only one who’s changed in the moment. She has too. In the best way possible.
I wanna experience her like this every single day for the rest of my fucking life. She sounds beautiful.
“Belle,” I repeat, this time pulling my body up from our place in the sand. “I didn’t bring you here for that.”
“I know, but I want this
.”
“You what?”
Did I just hear her right or is my dick finally overriding my common sense and doing all the thinking for me?
“You said you wanted it to be perfect.” She pauses, reminding me of our earlier conversation the last time we were close like this. “This is perfect for me. For us. You g
ave me your gifts earlier today. Now I want to give you mine.”
Holy fuck.
Her idea of an anniversary present for me is her virginity? I really can’t be reading this right. My head’s gotta be clouded or something. Shit. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
God, my head is overflowing with things I want to say
, but they’re all bundled up and twisted so tight I don’t think any of it will come out making the sense I need it to make.
So instead of answering he
r the way my heart wants, I try a different approach. One that centers me the minute I do it, proving to me in the moment that I’m doing the right thing.
I kiss her,
but differently. The need and desire I have, it’s all still there, but this kiss, I’m determined for it to be less about hunger and more about the damn near intoxicating level of love—no
energy
I feel for her. It’s what she deserves, especially after what she just admitted she wants.
True to form, she meets me in the middle, her lips soft against mine, every movement they make slow and methodical, yet tender all at the same time. Our hands are even moving slower, each caress lingering far longer than the ones before it, leaving behind a trail of electricity.
This moment right now, each touch, the tenderness in our kiss, we’re marking each other. As her hands find their way to my chest, sliding over my heart before moving down to the edges of my shirt, our bodies lifting as one until she’s completely raised my shirt up and over my head onto the sand beside us, I realize what’s happening to me.
The minute her hand found its spot above where my heart rests, she marked it. I knew it before, but there can be no doubt about it now. Isabelle has left her mark on my heart and n
o matter where we go from here, it’s only going to belong to her.
She may want to g
ive me her body, believing it to be the gift I want, but she doesn’t have a clue. Belle has given me something even more powerful than the feel of her body connecting to mine. Something that transcends the way it’s going to feel in a few minutes when we make love for the first time.
Isabelle Reagan has given me the very best part of her.
Her soul.
Chapter Twenty
Belle
After the week I’ve had, I don’t think there’s anything that can ruin it.
I thought the happiest I had ever been was the night Kayden asked me to be his girlfriend, or maybe even the day in the gym where he told me loved me for the first time, but those pale in comparison to what I’ve been experiencing this week.
Kayden and I
have always had this connection between us. It started when we were kids until it was broken at age ten, only to be renewed even stronger almost eight years later. I didn’t think that connection could get any stronger.
And then it did.
We shared something that night and the bond we have was magnified. It’s become so deep for me now that even spending a few more days apart from him hurts. I ache for him when he’s not here and it’s even more pronounced when we’re on the phone or texting. I want to reach through the phone a million times during our calls and pull him to me. Recreate that night on the beach and never separate again.
It’s like we’re one person instead of two. A singular being. St
rong yet weak, hard yet soft. A combination of opposites that come together to create one complete person. We’re better together. We’re everything.
I used to think there was an invisible thread keeping us together, but in one night, that thread became a rope and we’re forever tied to each other in a way that we never could have been before. It makes me happier than I’ve ever been.
Until I leave class and see the reason why Isaac wasn’t there.
The buildup of happiness fades away as I see what’s been done to him. What I hadn’t been able to prevent even though I’d been spending every waking minute of my time here attempting to do just that.
Randy and Bryan did this to him. They got him alone and hurt him. I can see round marks on his face. The kind that a fist would make only these look worse because I know one of those guys wears a ring, and his face is scratched up because of it.
He’s damaged. Isaac is broken.
I slam my backpack down on the ground and pull out my notebook and a pen, touching his shoulder gently before passing it over. I know it’s a long shot, but I’ve got to get answers, find out what happened so I can help him.
When this happened to me, I never wanted to talk about it. I always blew it off, making it seem like it was less than it was, but the truth is, it’s so much more. He didn’t deserve what happened to him any more than I did and the time for being quiet about it is o
ver. Eric was right about that. We’re only doing more harm than good staying silent.
I can’t let Isaac do what I did. We need to fight this and end it once and for all.
Randy and Bryan need to pay for what they did and not the way the kids used to when we were younger. No. This time they need to pay in a criminal way. If they won’t stop doing this on their own then I’m gonna force the world to step up and stop them. No one deserves to be treated like this just for being different.
Normal, plain, being like everyone else, it’s like a setting on a washing machine. Differences should be celebrated, not looked on the way they are.
“What happened?” I ask, shutting off my brain and focusing my attention solely on him.
Was late for class. They cornered me before I could get into the building.
“What did they say to you? What did they do?”
His hands move across the paper
, shaking so forcefully his words come out sloppy, but the basic gist is there. They cornered him because of me. Even after all these weeks they still haven’t figured out that I’m different and are so screwed up in their heads that they wanna make Isaac pay for it.
It also doesn’t help that I stood up to one of them. I’m pretty sure
he paid for that too, which hurts me in a way I never thought I’d feel again.
They
punched me in the stomach then the face a couple times. The ring scratched me up pretty bad. They said they did it because you deserve better than a deaf mute. Said I was pathetic and I should do the world a favor and stop breathing. I think they’re right.
Isaac got hurt because of me.
I never should have talked to him that first day. I brought all of this on.
The most important thing right now is getting out of here. P
eople are walking around us. I can feel their eyes staring, wondering what’s going on and it’s only going to take a few more minutes before they start whispering about it, judging and making up their own names for the way we are right now.
“Can you move?”
He scribbles across the page again and the minute the words start taking form, my stomach ties up in knots. He’s not answering my question. Instead he’s giving me more information.
I fought back, Isab
elle. I hit them and kept hitting until one of them was bleeding. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to hurt them. I was so angry I couldn’t even see. I was scared too. I started crying and my eyes got blurry and that’s when they finished me off. Left me here.
I want to go home. I never should have come here. I wanted to be like everyone else, but I’m never gonna be like them. I’m always gonna be the freak. The mute kid
that should’ve never been born.
You should go. Leave me alone. You don’t want to be seen with someone like me. It will only make your time here harder. I wanted a friend so bad I was selfish. I’m sorry.
My heart breaks seeing his words. He has nothing to be sorry for. I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to give him something the same way Eric gave it to me when I had no one. I wanted to be there for him. He’s saying sorry for things that I should be sorry for.
Trying to do the right thing by him made all of this happen.
“I’m not going anywhere, Isaac. You’ve been alone long enough. Now come on, I’m getting you out of here.”
Gripping the notebook with one hand and putting his other one in mine, we lift each other off the ground and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. Right now, the moment we’re in, it’s like I’ve gone back in time. Only this time, I’m Kayden and I’m going to
get this guy that I care about out of here before we become even more of a circus act then we already are.
He’s tense, his body like a stone under my ar
m, but he moves with me easily. It’s only when we’ve finally made it through the doors and down the front steps of the English department that I come to a stop.
Taking the pad from his hand and tossing it on the ground along
with my backpack, I pull him to me, hugging him with everything I’ve got. I want to do so much more right now after everything he went through because of me, but this is all I can give.
He’s here and despite being beaten up, tired and broken, he’s safe. Even if I’m the reason for everything that happened, as long as I’ve got him, I know that nothing else will happen. I won’t let it even if I’ve got to stand and fight those meathead monsters myself. No one is ever
going to hurt my friend again. They won’t ever get close enough to try.
Standing in place, hearing his wounded cry at the same second I feel his body shake and collapse against mine, I just hold on ti
ghter. It’s not much, but what I’m doing, it’s helping him and it makes my heart hurt a little less knowing that.
All I’ve ever wanted is to help.
I can hear steps around us, shadows crawling over us and vanishing. It’s only when a shadow crosses over us and doesn’t leave the way the others have, signaling that the person has stopped that I break away from the hug, release Isaac from the near stranglehold I’ve had on him for the last several minutes and turn toward it.
Coming face to face with the very angry face of the last person I expected to see.
Kayden
I can’t believe I’m about to do this.
There were doubts originally, where I wondered if doing things this way was the right way to go, but they faded quickly once her bright smile flooded my head.
It also helps block the doubts when you’ve got a guy like Dillon with you. Whatever worries that were there bef
ore I got in the car, faded the minute he smirked and told me I was doing a good thing.
Belle thinks I’m coming home for good in a week. It’s the truth, or it was before I fast tracked the process without telling her. I didn’t intentionally set out to lie, but me coming home, I want it to be a surprise. It’s going to be like the night I told her I loved her all over again. A time I’ve been itching to recreate since our anniversary a week ago. We’ve taken the next step in our relationship, becoming even closer than we were before and now it’s like we’re going back to the beginning again.
I want to have a million beginnings with Belle because an ending is out of the question.
“What time does she get out?”
“Quarter to eleven I think?”
“When’s the last time she texted you?”
“Right before she went in.”
“She’s not gonna see this coming is she?”
“Nope.” I smile. She definitely won’t see this coming. “That’s what makes this perfect.”
“Unless i
t totally backfires and she freaks.”
Dillon knows about the way
Belle is. We’ve talked about it before. After the surprise I leveled her with for our anniversary though, trusting in my best friend to get her across town to the beach when a normal night for her would have been to stay in, I’m pretty sure she’ll handle this one fine.
“She won’t freak. There’s no way this can backfire. Things are finally gonna be right.”
This is going to be perfect, no matter what happens because I’m finally home where I belong.
I’m with her, or at least I will be if she ever comes out of the building.
Looking down at the stereo and catching the time flashing, I try to distract myself by drumming my fingers on the steering wheel. We got here about ten minutes ago and just decided to let the car stay idled while we wait. There’s a risk we might get in shit by the parking authority, but for Belle, I’m willing to take it. There’s no way I’m gonna miss seeing her exit the building.
“Hey—uh, isn’t that her?” he says and I look where his hand is pointing out through the windshield.
She’s pretty far out, but he’s right. It’s her. We could be in a crowded room of people and I’d be able to pick Belle out easily. It’s just the connection between us. Her heart is speaking to me, even from thirty or so feet away.
“Yeah.” I confirm and that’s when it happens. I see her stop and where I hadn’t been paying attention before, I can see now that she’s not alone. She’s got Isaac with her and instead of them heading to their next class, they’re standing complete
ly still just off the stairs. Belle is tossing her backpack and some other stuff to the ground and wrapping her arms around him.
What the fuck is this?
Why is she hugging him?
My heart rate increases the minute his hands make their way around her and even from here I can see he’s running them up and down her back.
No. No fucking way is he gonna touch my girlfriend like that. No way in hell.
“What the fuck?” I seethe under my breath and Dillon turns his attention away from the scene
to face me.
“Man, don’t read anything into that. She used to do that with Carmen all the fucking time.”
I hear what he’s saying, but it doesn’t go all the way through. I damn well know she’s hugged Eric before, but there’s something that’s different about this. Eric never rubbed his hands all over her like this.
Isaac, even knowing she’s got a boyfriend is fucking putting the moves on her and there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let him continue doing it. Over my dead body. He can find himself another girl, special needs or not.
Belle’s mine.
Unlocking the
door and sliding out, I hear Dillon yelling something, but I slam it before he finishes. Whatever it is he has to say can wait. Right now I’ve got to get over there and stop whatever the fuck this is between Belle and Isaac.
Making quick work of the grass, I don’t stop until I’m damn
near standing on top of them. She turns toward me, her eyes going wide and something about the way she’s looking at me sets me off. How long have they been fucking around behind my back? Hugging, holding hands like I caught them doing two weeks ago and maybe even more?
Has she been playing me for a fucking fool the entire time or is this just something she’s come up with lately to get back at me for everything I did to her over the last eight years?
Shaking off the rage, I stare the both of them down, waiting for Belle to say something. Explain to me why she’s standing here so openly public, holding on to another guy when the only one she should be doing that with is me.
“Get your hands off my girlfriend.” I spit out, locking eyes with Isaac and balling my hands
together, cracking my knuckles in an effort to curb the urge I have to physically remove his hands myself.
They’re already separated, but he’s not completely broken away, as his hand is still lingering on her and that’s my undoing.