All in the Chemistry [The Royal Wolves 4] (Siren Publishing Allure) (19 page)

“Pretty much since I knew you were going to live,” he said quietly, honestly. He still had nightmares about her near death and it would always haunt him he knew. Moving to her, he took her hand and pulled her to the bed. “I want to make sure you know that I love you, Courtney, not just that I need you, because I do, but I always will love you, too.”

She smiled and raised on her knees and closer to him. “And I will always love you as well, Kristof. You are always going to be needed by me because I simply will always need you, baby, but I will also always love you.” She stroked her hand over his cheek. “This is the first night for the rest of our lives. Tonight you will change me, Kristof, tonight we will marry only without the paper, tonight is ours.”

Leaning into her touch he took a slow and steadying breath as he closed his eyes. He was terrified to change her and yet he knew he had to, he wouldn’t be able to survive anything happening to her a second time. Her accident had nearly had him in hysterics and likely as close to a heart attack as a Wolf could get. “I love you,” he breathed out softly leaning into her to kiss her softly. 

She kissed him back with her love for him there and clear in the kiss. When she pulled back she licked her lips and smiled. “I’m glad that you do, Kris, because very soon you are going to be stuck with me for eternity.”

“Not stuck, darling, blessed,” he corrected her nipping at her shoulder lightly. “Lay back, my love, and I will see about ensuring you are completely relaxed and more than pleased with your mate before I really turn up the heat.”

Her last thought before he began to give her such incredible pleasure was
Dear god, I hope I survive.

Chapter 6

Courtney had no idea how much time had passed but as she lay there completely boneless and sated in Kristof’s arms, she kissed his chest. “I love you, Kris, I’ve missed you so much. Let’s never do that again, the whole no sex part. The part we’ve just shared for the last however many hours I would love to be able to have that at least once a week, if not more.”

Stretching slowly he cracked his back and settled down happily feeling much happier and the Wolf was sated. “I was thinking more along the lines of at least once a night. But I might be able to hold out for once a week,” he teased softly.

“Hmmm,” she said thoughtfully as she rubbed her cheek to his chest. “No, that just won’t do. I don’t want the wolf to be without at all so no, that simply won’t do, baby. Once a night it is.” She sighed dramatically. “I will just have to learn to survive, I suppose.” Her smile was anything but sad, it was hot and filled with need and love for him.

Growling at her in a deep non-threatening tone he smacked her bottom lightly. “Behave yourself, woman, or you will do without for a week.” Like that would ever happen, he thought with a self-satisfied smile, he’d never leave either of them wanting or needing, it just wasn’t in his makeup. Kristof planned on keeping his mate just like this, relaxed, on the edge of slumber and so beautifully peaceful looking that his heart ached ever so slightly.

She snorted and shook her head. “You are so funny, Kris. You and I both know that neither of us can survive without the other one for long.” Shaking her head she added. “Now then.” Stretching in boneless appreciation she all but purred, “I do believe that our night is not over. You have only just appeased our needs, but there is one last need, my love.”

She was referring to the change, which he was doubting the wisdom of again, but he nodded slowly. “I know,” he murmured softly as he stroked her back gently. The Wolf wanted his mate with him for all time, but the worry that something would go wrong was on both the man and beast’s mind.

“You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you, Kris?” she asked as she looked up at him. “If this isn’t what you want, Kris, I’m sure that it will be all right if we don’t change me. I want and I need for you to be happy and satisfied with what we are doing, too, you know.”

“I’m just scared, Courtney,” he told her softly knowing she deserved honesty from him. “I want you as a Wolf, I need my mate to be a Wolf with me, it will keep you safer and I will worry less, but I’m terrified to hurt you.”

“I know, Kris, but you have to remember that I want this, too. I want to be with you and be with my wolf and it will be worth the pain. You are worth any amount of pain, Kristof, so please, make me like you are?”

Nodding, he pulled her in tight. “I love you,” he whispered, pain already radiating in his chest. “We need to set up everything in front of the fireplace, Courtney. I don’t want you suffering from the chills that will wrack you and it’s the safest place to be.” In the bedroom she could thrash from the bed and really hurt herself, if the Wolf didn’t first.

She nodded and then bit her lip and once more. “Be sure on this, Kris. Don’t hate me later for asking this of you.” She was hurting because she could feel the hesitation in the way he held her, the pain in his whispered words, and she didn’t want that for him.

“If anything happened to you, Courtney, I would die,” he whispered softly. “But I can’t leave you unprotected any longer. If I’d just changed you at the beginning you would have never had to go to the hospital after the hit and run. You’d have healed, for the most part, in hours and the rest a couple days later. I was selfish keeping you human as long as I did, but I know that it’s not been easy for you, love, and for that I will always be sorry.”

She shook her head and cupped his cheeks in her hands. “Kristof,” She whispered. “I love you, honey. I love you so very much, baby, and you didn’t change me because you weren’t ready, I wasn’t ready,” she whispered. “We are both changed people now. You and I are in different places, and we now know where we need to be, my love, and that is together, forever.”

Nodding he had to agree with that, he hadn’t been ready, the real problem was he wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to tempt fate by doing this. “We need to make a pallet in the living room in front of the fireplace and start a fire. You should take a shower and then only wear a robe, you’ll want to be sans clothing for the change, love. I’ll get some water warmed and towels ready while I build the pallet and fire if you want to shower,” he said softly.

“All right.” She moved out of his arms and away from him, walking toward the bathroom she looked back and sighed. “If you change your mind, Kris, I will still love you until the day I die. Be sure, be very sure that this is what you truly want and need?” She didn’t wait for a reply but simply walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, starting the shower on hot and stepping in she felt her fear and panic, not from the possibility of the change, but the overwhelming possibility that Kris didn’t truly want to change her.

Pressing a hand to his chest, Kris let out a shuddering breath as he swallowed around the lump in his throat. He couldn’t even think of her one day growing old and dying, leaving him alone, it was too much. Moving, he set up the living room and then sat to wait, staring into the fire as his mind continued to play the aftermath of her accident over and over in his mind. The stillness that had hit him, the knowing and then the anger and pain when he’d first seen her broken and bleeding body on the ground. Never again.

She finished with her shower and pulled her hair back in a ponytail, belted on her short robe and walked barefoot back to him in the living room. She saw him sitting there staring into the flames and cleared her throat before approaching and saying, “A penny for them, Kristof.” When he looked questioningly up she smiled softly. “For your thoughts, my love.”

“You,” he said quietly as he pushed to his feet and slowly walked to her. “Always you are on my mind,” he told her with a slight smile. “Every moment of every day you are there, in my head, on my skin and in my soul.” Pulling her close, he kissed her gently. “Are you ready for this, my love?” he asked, resolved to doing this and prayed the consequences didn’t kill them both.

Courtney nodded and reached up, her long fingers caressing each line in his face, his strong cheek bones and then finally his lips. “Yes, Kristof, I’m ready for this. I’m ready for our life to begin together and for us to have our forever.”

Taking her hand he tugged her closer for a hug and then led her to the pallet. “Off with the robe and lay down closest to the fire,” he said softly. Crouching down at her side, he waited for her to settle before covering her with the light sheet and laying at her side.

Looking up at him with her heart and love in her eyes, she reached out and touched him lightly, gently, “We will be all right, Kristof. It will hurt and I know that and am ready for it, but it’s worth it, you are worth it.”

Leaning down, he kissed her softly, his fingers stroking over her cheek. “Before we do this, I need to tell you something so that we go into our new life, together, with everything cleared between us. Miklos called earlier,” he said softly.

Staring up at him Courtney nodded slowly and licked her lips. “Why did he call?” she asked quietly, the trepidation on her face said she had an idea.

“They found the man who tried to kill you with the SUV. It was Barkley Parsons,” he said gently, his fingers stroking her cheek.

“Barkley?” her eyes went wide in horror and recognition. “I worked with him briefly on a project but then he was pulled. Why? Why would he try to kill me?” The pain in her eyes made him angry and had his heart aching.

“He overheard the higher ups of Aegis talking and they were reviewing potential candidates to promote. More money, bigger offices and, of course, bigger budgets. Your name was mentioned but he didn’t stick around to hear the rest. That did it for him, had him seeing red and wanting to take from you what he felt you were taking from him. What he didn’t know until Miklos got it from your former board was that they had discounted your name and were actually looking to him for the position. He went out to kill you so you’d be out of the running when you were never in it anyway. You weren’t a team player.” In other words she wouldn’t do whatever Aegis said or look the other way if people were being harmed by the products they developed there.

“God,” she whispered with tears in her eyes. “If he’d only stayed a little longer none of that would have happened. I wouldn’t have been hurt, you wouldn’t have been so worried,” she shook her head.

“It’s the past, we’re looking toward the future now. He will pay for what he did, not how I would like, but he will pay.” Kristof stroked her cheek gently, watching her closely and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Are you okay?” he asked, afraid this would change her mind about going forward.

It took her a bit of time but she lifted her chin and nodded. “He will pay and he didn’t ruin our future. He doesn’t belong here, in this room with what we are about to do. He tried to take from us something that wasn’t his to take and was beyond his reach. Now, no more of that,” she said and then smiled. Pulling him down with a hand in his hair she kissed him. “I believe we have something to do, don’t we?” she asked.

Nodding he kissed her softly and, pulling back, smiled down at her. “You are absolutely correct, we do. But, before we do,” he cupped her cheek and stared into her eyes. “You are the strongest woman I know. I am the luckiest man on the planet to have earned your trust and love. Thank you for that,” he said quietly.

Shaking her head she tugged his hair lightly. “I’m the lucky one, Kristof. Now, less chit chat and more biting me and making me into a Wolf damn it.”

Laughing he nodded. dropping a kiss to her lips. “Look into the flames and hold on, love,” he whispered gently, turning her head. Sliding his lips down her cheek to her throat he nuzzled her and slid his tongue over her skin. Whispering a prayer for her safety, he sank his teeth into her throat and bit deep until the bursting flavor of her blood was on his tongue. Holding her to him, he ensured that his saliva mixed with her blood and then pulled back slowly, careful not to do any more damage.

The fire began almost immediately and the last whispered words from her mouth were, “I love you, Kristof Farkas.” It was only a moment before the screams began. 

Minutes turned into hours as she writhed in pain and Kristof held her, cleaned her and rocked her. The fire of the change tore through her, burning every nerve ending, singeing every muscle and joint. Her skin felt too tight and then her body felt much too heavy, her muscles weighing her down. Time seemed to drag, everything coming to a fine point where she could swear she could see the very molecules in the air and then blurring until she was sure her sight had fled her.

Her hearing was either extremely sharp and painful, the ticking of the clock more like a gong in her skull, or foggy like someone had stuck cotton into her ears. She was too hot, then too cold, her skin too sensitive or she couldn’t feel a damned thing. Her very cells felt like they were being shredded and recreated. She felt like she was dying and she couldn’t even speak to her mate, to warn him that something was wrong, so very wrong.

It was a very long time before the shift happened and she lay panting with closed eyes in her mate’s lap. Flame-red fur covered the small, sleek she wolf from head to toe.

Resting his forehead to the back of her neck, Kristof shuddered, he was never putting anyone through this again, it was inhumane. Rocking her lightly back and forth, he stroked her fur as he held her close, unable to speak around the massive lump in his throat.

Finally she whined, she wanted to be human again. Wanted to be human so that she could sleep in the arms of her mate, and sleep was all she had the energy to do.