All Hallow's Eve (20 page)

William stood
when
she did but
remained
in place,
waiting for guidance from
Mr. Bennet.

“
Go ahead, Darcy, you had better catch up to her
.
S
he is right—it would be worse for Lizzy to be caught unprotected by those who wish
to
harm
her
than it would be for a
neighbour
to see you together.
I
should
advise you
to
let her cool off for
at least
a full half hour before you speak one word, unless you
would
enjoy
a tongue lashing
.
Even though it is not your fault, you will bear the brunt of it, I
am afraid
.
”
Mr. Bennet chuckled.
“
Go.
The rest of us shall meet you there before long.
”

With a heavy heart,
William
caught up to Elizabeth.
He
followed a few paces behind
as
she
stomped her way
down the path
, angrily slashing a makeshift switch at the weeds that lined the
ir route
.
She suddenly turned around and took a few hasty steps toward him.
“
Are you happy, now?
”
she lashed out
.
“
I can plainly
see
w
hat
has happened—why you accept your fate
—a fate that only
one
week ago would have been abhorrent to you
!
”
Elizabeth began to pace in front of him.
“
After you heard what your parents had to say about us, you
accept
ed
this arrangement
as a marriage of convenience
so that
you can
enjoy
an
elevated status in
both
British and Tribal
societies!
”
She stopped directly in front of him.
“
You
, Mr. Darcy, are the epitome of arrogance!
I know very well that
,
when you thought I was
only
the daughter of a country squire with no inheritance,
you did not bother to look
upon
me except to amuse yourself with finding fault in my
behaviour
.
Only
now
that you know that my family outranks even
yours
within the
T
ribes do you consider me worthy of your attention!
Do I not have the right of it?
”

William stood blinking at her in stunned silence for several moments, not only because her eyes flashing in anger made her appear all the more beautiful, causing him to
lose control over his power of
speech
yet
again, but also she had
come
so very close to the
truth
in
describing what he had once thought
.
H
e was ashamed of himself
and hesitant to admit to it aloud
—
especially
to
Elizabeth
.
But, h
is parents had said that he and Elizabeth
must meet the
Olc
in harmony, and so he must purge himself of his past errors.
He
must
be completely honest with her and make amends!

“
Miss Elizabeth
,
I wish I could
contradict your
accusations
and
state with conviction
that you are wrong in your estimation of my previous
behaviour
,
but I cannot.
I admit that I have been an arrogant fool.
I
had
wished to find fault in you in order to justify the hesitation that I felt in paying you any attentions, mostly due to the status of your family within British society,
and
in an attempt to counteract the almost overwhelming attraction
that
I felt for you
from the first moment I saw you
.

I must say that
in this undertaking, I failed completely.
By watching you,
I
only
prove
d
to myself that, whilst
not perfect in every sense of the word, your
behaviour
lacked any
true
faults…
”
William’s voice softened considerably,
“
and that
each
moment I spent in your presence ha
s
increased
my admiration of you in every way possible.

“
The night of All Hallow’s Eve
—
before
I heard your song—I had already admitted to myself that I had been completely wrong to take into account anything other than my feelings for you
.
I
knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I
could
n
ever wish for
any
other woman to become my wife.
I had decided that I would pursue you
—
still
the arrogant fool, was I!
”
He chuckled without mirth.
“
It did not occur to me that I had done
nothing
to gain your good opinion and that you might actually
reject
my suit!

“
I have no words to explain what I felt in overhearing what you had to say about me to my parents that night.
”
At her eyes opening wide, he said quickly,
“
Yes, you were not the only one of us to hear the negative opinion of
the other
, but
I
was
the only one of us to hear an opinion that was not fabricated!

“
What
I
had said at the assembly ball—though unforgivable, I grant you—was expressed only to distract Bingley from his attempts to convince me to dance with a woman whom I had never met, at a time when I was in an overly foul mood, and in a place where I was not at all comfortable.
I have never been at ease among
st
strangers
, and no matter how attractive I found you
to be
, my pride would not allow
me
the chance
to make a
bad impression
, as I knew I would under those conditions
.
”
Seeing the irony of his statement,
William shook his head.
“
And by doing so, I made
the
wors
t
impression tha
t I possibly could
!

“
Elizabeth, w
hen I said that you could not tempt me, I have never uttered anything further from the truth in my life—for
you
, madam, have tempted me in every way possible without making any effort at all to do so.
”

They stared at each other for several moments before he continued.

“
Alt
hough it was not easy for me to hear it, learning your opinion of me has been helpful.
It has compelled me to examine my past
behaviour
.
I am not proud of the way I
have
acted toward
you, or anyone in the
neighbour
hood f
or that matter
, and have every intention o
f
continuing
my
endeavor to change
my ways
.
I cannot promise that I will not slip back into the manners that I had been accustomed to
these seven and twenty years
, but I beg
that
when I do,
you should
bring it to my attention, and I will make every attempt at making amends.
”

William’s
mien
turned thoughtful as he said,
“
A
s you slept a
fter the
Sanun
, a good amount of my time was spent analyzing each meeting we had
shared
since the assembly in an effort to estimate where I had gone wrong
,
caus
ing
you to
hold such a low opinion of
me.

“
I could not help but realize that there was no way of your even
suspecting
my
true character
,
or
my
affections
toward you
,
since
I had behaved abominably
. N
ot once
had I displayed even the smallest portion of what I felt
for you
.
I could not have accomplished it better if I had
purposely wished to give you cause to dislike me
,
or had
I
set out to make it impossible for you to doubt the truth of what you had
over
heard
me say
.
”

William took a deep breath and looked deeply into her eyes.
“
P
lease
, Elizabeth
,
please
allow me to tell you that
, no matter what my feelings appeared to be
,
I love you—most ardently—and I have for some
time
.
W
hilst
I know your feelings could not
possibly
approach
being similar to my own
,
still, my heart cannot help but rejoice
at your father’s approval of our marriage.
I
look forward to spending my life
striv
ing
t
o make you as happy as possible.
”

William could see the
shock upon her lovely features
and gave her a minute to process all that he had said before continuing.
“
Loving you as I do,
please believe that
I did not want our marriage
to come about in
this
way.
Never would I wish for you to be
forced
to marry me
!
I was hoping that you would see
my
attempt
s at
the
improvement of
my character
and that you would approve
—
that
you would someday come to care for me
, and then would accept my attentions
, and eventually my hand
.
”
He swallowed hard
.
“
You seemed to
have
be
en
developing a friendlier attitude toward me, and I had
just
begun to nurse a small hope that someday
,
perhaps...
”
William hesitated.
“
But now,
witnessing
your reaction to this
latest
development,
I can see that my
hope
was in vain
.
I
can only
apologize
for causing you such heartache
.
”
His throat tightened
,
and he cleared it before he was able to continue.

“
Elizabeth,
I know this is a delicate subject, but I hope that speaking of it
now
will ease any fears that you might have.
P
lease know that
although
we
both
have a
duty
to provide heirs
to our
respective
legacies
,
I
would not expect...
What I mean
to say
is that,
until you
tell me
that you fe
e
l comfortable
enough to attempt to
achieve
that goal
, I would not...
”
William looked up and saw that
Elizabeth
was
blush
ing
quite
thoroughly.
Sighing, he
closed his eyes so that he could
voice
t
his
crucial
point
without having to see Elizabeth’s horrified expression
.
“
Once
we
a
re married,
I
will
not
demand
from you
what you are not disposed to give.
I could not
ignore
yo
ur wishes in such a way.
”