Alice-Miranda At School (8 page)

When at last Alice-Miranda drifted off to sleep she too had dreamt. About girls playing and laughing. The clanging of the school bell and a hundred pairs of feet running to their classrooms. It was a wonderful sleep and when she awoke her stomach was aflurry with tiny butterflies. Alice-Miranda couldn't remember being this excited before.

‘Good morning, Millie.' She sat up in bed, clutching Brummel Bear to her chest.

‘Oh, hello Alice-Miranda.' Millie opened her eyes sleepily, yawned and stretched her arms above her head. ‘Thanks for waking me. I hate that awful bell.'

Just at that moment there was a loud clanging noise accompanied by a shrill, ‘Rise and shine ladies, time to get up, time to sparkle, chop, chop, choppy chop.'

‘Who is that?' Alice-Miranda asked.

‘That's just Howie. You'll get used to it. She uses the same wake-up call every morning,' Millie giggled.

‘Howie?'

‘Well, she's really Mrs Howard but she's so used to Howie I don't think anyone has used her proper name in years.' Millie swung her feet to the floor and scooped her slippers from beside the bed. ‘You'd better hurry up. If you don't get to the showers early you'll miss out on the hot water.'

Alice-Miranda hopped up and pulled the sheets towards the bedhead.

‘What are you doing?' Millie asked.

‘Making the bed,' Alice-Miranda replied as she carefully folded the sheets down over the top of the duvet and arranged the pillows.

‘You know we don't have to. Howie always comes around and does them after we've gone to class.' Millie dangled her toothbrush from her mouth as she donned a floral shower cap.

‘Why should she have to do it?' Alice-Miranda smoothed the duvet and carefully rested Brummel Bear in the middle of her pillow.

‘We're supposed to make them ourselves but we're all so terrible at it that she remakes them anyway. Alethea called a house meeting last year and said that no one had to make their beds because Howie would do it for us,' Millie replied.

‘That's not very fair. I'm sure she has more important things to do than make our beds.' Alice-Miranda scrunched her feet into her slippers.

At that very moment Howie appeared at the doorway. Her frame took up almost the whole space.

‘Good morning, girls. Hello Millicent, did you have a good break, my dear?'

‘Yes, Howie. And you?' Millie replied.

‘Lovely. I spent a lot of time in the garden but rather more in the kitchen –' she patted her tummy – ‘if you know what I mean. And you must be one of our new poppets. It's Alice-Miranda, isn't it?'

‘Yes, Mrs Howard. Pleased to meet you.' Alice-Miranda moved towards her and held out her hand. Mrs Howard looked a little surprised but squeezed it gently.

‘I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived, my sweet. Not like me at all, but there was trouble afoot with my youngest grandchild – she had the croup and I just couldn't leave until I knew she was going to be all right. That daughter of mine has quite the brood – seven and another on the way.' Mrs Howard's smile sent deep wrinkles to the corners of her eyes. She looked around the room and spied Alice-Miranda's freshly made bed.

‘Darling girl. Did you do that?' Howie looked genuinely shocked as she inspected Alice-Miranda's handiwork.

‘Yes, Mrs Howard,' Alice-Miranda replied. ‘I'm sorry if it's not quite right but my granny taught me to make my bed at home when I was six. She said that everyone should know how to make a bed and, well, seeing as though she'd once been a nurse, a long time ago in the war, she taught me how to do hospital corners. If you'd rather teach me your way, I'm very happy to learn.' Alice-Miranda stood like a statue beside the perfectly made bed.

‘Oh no, my dear, it's wonderful. Perhaps you can teach the other girls?' She smiled widely and raised her eyebrows. ‘I'm sure Alethea would love some lessons.'

Millie stuck her bottom lip out as far as she could manage.

‘Yes, Millicent – I'm sure that's what Alethea would do, too. Now run along to the shower, girls. I'll lay your uniforms out on the beds before you come back.' Howie bustled along the hallway clanging her bell.

After breakfast, which consisted of the most delicious scrambled eggs, tea and toast, Millie took Alice-Miranda to the Great Hall, where the girls were to meet for assembly. When at last the bell rang to signify the start of term, Alice-Miranda wriggled in her seat. She craned her neck to see the teachers as they marched side by side down the centre aisle, dressed in spectacular gowns with a rainbow of coloured hoods. The new girls, of whom she was the very youngest, sat in the back rows while the older forms sat in
front. The organist, who Millie had said was called Mr Trout, waved his arms flamboyantly as he played a very complicated piece. He taught Music, of course.

Alice-Miranda was yet to meet most of the staff but she recognised Miss Reedy and Mr Plumpton, who stood at the end of the line. Mr Plumpton's red nose glowed and he had to take two little running steps for every one of Miss Reedy's, but somehow he managed to look dignified just the same.

The teachers took their places on the stage and Miss Reedy stepped forward to speak.

‘Good morning, girls, and welcome back for another year at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale. I trust that you have all had a good holiday and are ready to give of your best. If not, you will find yourself spending a lot of time in detention with me. If you are new, I hope you are settling in well. You have all received a copy of the school rules – I suggest you read them closely and abide by them at all times. I have several announcements.' A soft buzz echoed around the hall at this.

‘She's going to announce the Head Prefect,' Millie turned and whispered to Alice-Miranda, who was sitting in the row behind.

Miss Reedy was holding a large scroll. She
adjusted her silver-framed glasses and let the scroll unfurl to the floor.

‘Item number one. The new Head Prefect is …' Miss Reedy flinched.

‘Oh no, it must be …' Millie winced, waiting for the inevitable. There was a much longer than necessary pause as Miss Reedy seemed unable say the words. Finally she whispered, ‘Alethea Goldsworthy,' and smiled thinly.

Alethea squealed from the front of the hall. ‘It's me, it's me!'

‘Alethea, please come up and accept your badge.' Miss Reedy looked around at Mr Plumpton, who rolled his eyes.

Alethea ran to the side of the stage, bounded up the steps and snatched the badge from Miss Reedy's hand. She then shoved the teacher rather energetically from the lectern. She began her acceptance speech with another squeal.

‘Girls, teachers, you have made a wonderful choice in me. I will be the best Head Prefect Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale has ever seen. Of course, there really was no other option.' She smiled condescendingly along the row of girls from the Sixth Form.

Miss Reedy moved in beside Alethea and leaned into the microphone.

‘Thank you, Alethea. Your graciousness and humility will no doubt be a highlight of the year.'

A snicker of laughter rose up before Alethea shot a stare that would freeze fire.

‘You may return to your seat, Alethea,' Miss Reedy instructed.

‘But I sit on the stage next to you now, Miss Reedy.' Alethea's cat with the cream smile was plastered all over her smug face.

‘And so you do.' Miss Reedy motioned towards the empty seat beside her own.

‘Now we have to spend every assembly looking at that,' Millie whispered.

Alice-Miranda leaned forward in her seat. ‘If she's really so terrible why did Miss Grimm allow it?'

‘Remember the library.' Millie didn't smile. ‘As long as your parents can pay, you can be whatever you want at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale.'

‘That's awful,' Alice-Miranda sighed. ‘Surely it hasn't always been like this? Mummy would have told me, and she has only ever said that it was a wonderful school.'

‘Legend has it that about ten years ago something
terrible happened. The whole place changed and since then, well, it seems as though the family that pays the most, gets the most.' Millie picked nervously at her fingernails.

Alice-Miranda caught sight of Miss Higgins standing just offstage. She looked pale and was wringing her hands together.

‘Something's missing, Millie. Miss Grimm should be here. She's the headmistress and she should be leading the assembly.'

‘Tell
her
that,' Millie whispered.

‘Item number two,' Miss Reedy's voice boomed. ‘All students under the age of eight will be required to sit an academic suitability test. If they are proven unsuitable the consequences may involve removal from the school.'

A murmur shot around the room. The look of surprise on Miss Reedy's face suggested she was reading the rule for the very first time. She turned around to face the staff, who seemed equally shocked.

‘That's a new one. I didn't have to sit any suitability test,' Millie whispered.

‘I didn't either … nor me … what's that all about?' the room buzzed.

‘But there's nobody here who's under the age of
eight,' called Madeline Bloom, who had been silently doing her maths. ‘You're not supposed to come unless you've turned eight already.'

‘Well, I'm afraid there is someone,' said Alice-Miranda, touching her left forefinger to her lips.

‘Who?' asked Ivory Hicks.

‘Me,' Alice-Miranda smiled.

‘Silence,' Miss Reedy commanded. ‘Item number three. Any girls under the age of eight must complete the Form Six Wilderness Walk: camping for five days in a tent, cooking her own food and navigating her own way through the forest. Failure to do so would render her unready for life at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale.' Miss Reedy gasped as she finished reading.

‘That's madness,' she murmured under her breath, then gulped loudly when she realised that the microphone had picked up every word. She quickly moved on.

‘Item number four.' Miss Reedy took a deep breath, hardly daring to scan the page. She cleared her throat. ‘Item number four. Any student under the age of eight must challenge the school champion at a game of her choosing and win. If she fails in this endeavour she will be asked to leave the school as she
is clearly not ready to take on the challenges of life at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale.'

The whole hall erupted.

‘That's so unfair … no one's ever had to do that before …'

‘That's because we've never had any upstart seven-year-olds before,' Alethea said loudly.

‘Yes we have,' Jacinta Headlington-Bear called back. ‘I started when I was only just seven.'

‘That's because your parents couldn't wait to be rid of you,' Alethea snapped from her position on the stage.

‘Who made those rules anyway?' Ashima asked Susannah, who was sitting in the row ahead of her.

‘I did!' a voice boomed.

The girls searched the hall for the owner but couldn't see anyone.

‘Who said that?' the words escaped from Susannah's mouth before she had time to stop them.

‘I said it,' the voice echoed through the hall. The teachers on stage sat in terrified silence.

‘It's Miss Grimm,' said Alice-Miranda. ‘I knew it wasn't true that she didn't come out of her study.'

Alice-Miranda leapt to her feet, a beaming smile plastered on her face. ‘Hello Miss Grimm. Where
are you? I am so pleased that you're here. I mean, fancy having the first assembly of the year without the headmistress. Did you enjoy last night's supper? And did you sleep well? My stomach had so many butterflies it took me ages to settle down.'

You could have heard a pin drop.

‘Silence!' the voice demanded. ‘You will not speak in assembly, today or any other day, Alice-Miranda.'

Alice-Miranda sat down softly. No one dared make a sound. A hundred mouths gaped open, waiting for the next instruction. Alice-Miranda leaned forward to whisper to Millie. Millie just shook her head, never once taking her eyes from the stage. Alice-Miranda closed her mouth and shuffled back in her seat.

There was a crackling of static and a collective realisation that Miss Grimm was not in the hall at all.

‘She's in there,' Madeline whispered, pointing at the loudspeaker at the side of the stage.

‘Close your mouths, girls,' instructed the headmistress, her voice so sharp you could have cut your finger on it. ‘You are not fish.'

‘But how can she see us?' Jacinta Headlington-Bear giggled nervously.

‘Miss Headlington-Bear, did I say something to amuse you?' Miss Grimm's voice scolded.

Jacinta reeled in shock, wondering how Miss Grimm even knew what she looked like.

‘No, Miss Grimm,' she mumbled, her eyes searching for a hole in the floor that might swallow her up.

‘So I do not amuse you?' Miss Grimm continued.

‘No, Miss Grimm,' Jacinta said hesitantly.

‘So I am not funny,' Miss Grimm prodded.

‘Yes, Miss Grimm.' Jacinta closed her eyes and wished that she was anywhere but there.

‘So you are saying that I am not funny and yet you choose to laugh at me.' Miss Grimm was toying with Jacinta's nerves like a tabby with a fieldmouse.

‘No, Miss Grimm,' Jacinta gulped and tried to suppress the urge to be sick.

‘Miss Headlington-Bear, what is it that you love more than anything in the world?'

‘Gymnastics, Miss Grimm,' Jacinta whispered.

‘And the championships are next week, am I correct?' Miss Grimm asked.

‘Yes, Miss Grimm.' Jacinta's eyes welled with fat tears.

‘And have you finished your assignment?'

‘Yes, Miss Grimm.'

Miss Grimm's voice softened. ‘I suppose you should be allowed to go then.'

‘Oh, thank you, Miss Grimm,' Jacinta beamed.

‘Such a pity then that your rudeness
has just earned you the right not to go.
' Miss Grimm's voice drilled into Jacinta.

‘But Miss Grimm …' Jacinta began to sob.

‘Stop that infernal noise,' Miss Grimm commanded.

Alice-Miranda was about to speak when she felt a hand on her arm.

‘Don't,' Susannah mouthed.

Susannah was right. Perhaps it would be better to go and speak with Miss Grimm after the assembly. Poor Jacinta, it really wasn't fair, Alice-Miranda thought to herself.

‘You may continue with the assembly, Miss Reedy,' Miss Grimm's voice boomed. ‘And make no mistake; there are no secrets in this school. I see everything. I hear everything.' And with that, the crackle in the air ceased and Miss Grimm was gone.

The remainder of the assembly was very swift indeed.

Miss Reedy had stood like a statue during the entire exchange. She adjusted her glasses and stared out into the sea of anxious faces. She cleared her throat and ran her finger down the agenda.

‘Yes, well girls, as it is the first day of term we have no awards to hand out. We'll save our birthday wishes until teatime. No notices.' Miss Reedy glanced quickly around at the staff seated behind her. Nobody moved. It was as though the voice from beyond had frozen them all to the spot.

‘All right then, girls, it's off to first classes. The lists have been posted on the noticeboard outside. Well … a good term … yes …' She tried to smile but the girls were still too stunned to return the gesture.