Alice-Miranda At School (12 page)

Alice-Miranda spent the remainder of the afternoon and almost all of Sunday with her head in various books. True to her word, Miss Reedy sat with Alice-Miranda for hours, reading her written responses and setting quizzes. In all her years as a teacher she could not recall meeting another child with such a prodigious memory.

‘What's the capital of Ethiopia?' she fired.

‘Addis Ababa.'

‘Correct. How many wives did King Henry the Eighth have?'

‘Six,' Alice-Miranda shot back.

‘Name them.' Miss Reedy arched an eyebrow, quite sure that this would trip her up.

‘That would be Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard and Catherine Parr.'

‘Is that the correct order?' Miss Reedy asked.

Alice-Miranda looked to the ceiling and counted them off on her fingers.

‘Well, I'm sure that they are the right names. Mummy and Daddy took me to the Tower of London and I think I remember reading somewhere about Queen Catherine who ended up divorced and then I'm sure that it was Anne Boleyn who came next. Mummy says that she was terribly ambitious and look where that got her. Her head on the block.' Alice-Miranda shuddered at the thought of it. ‘I'm fairly certain that the next wife was Jane and she died just after having a baby. Then I think it was Anne of Cleves who he didn't find the least bit attractive. Poor girl – imagine going to another country to marry some revolting old man that you had never met and then he doesn't even like you. Very unfair. Anyway, he divorced her too, I think. Then came Catherine Howard, another silly girl – a cousin of Anne Boleyn. She ended up the same, with the axe.
Last was Catherine Parr. The King died before her. She was lucky, really, because he did have a terrible reputation for killing off his wives.'

Alice-Miranda finally took a breath. Miss Reedy stared at her with her mouth open.

‘Good gracious, Alice-Miranda. You have given me quite the potted royal history. However do you remember it all? I know girls twice your age who would find learning all that very daunting.' Miss Reedy shook her head in disbelief.

‘I don't know. I just remember things. I love visiting old places and thinking about all the people who were there before me. When I was five Mummy and Daddy took me to Rome. It was amazing to see all those ancient places. I could have spent days in the Colosseum – it was awful to think of all those poor animals killed in the fights, and the people too. But it was glamorous as well, with all the women and their beautiful togas.'

By teatime on Sunday Miss Reedy said that they had done enough.

‘Can we do one last quiz? Alice-Miranda asked as Miss Reedy stifled a yawn.

‘My dear girl, you are exhausted and so am I,' Miss Reedy replied. ‘I suspect that Miss Grimm's
test might not trouble you much at all. Anyway, you can only do your best. That's all anyone can ever ask of you.'

‘Thank you so much for helping me, Miss Reedy. I'm not really bothered about the test. I just don't want to disappoint anyone.' Alice-Miranda closed her workbook and began packing her pencils.

Fortunately Miss Grimm's camera network did not extend into every room in the school. She had not seen Miss Reedy and Alice-Miranda working away throughout Saturday afternoon and almost all of Sunday. It most likely did not matter anyway. Ophelia Grimm typed furiously as she wrote the final question on the test:
How many wives did King Henry the Eighth have? Name them in order.

‘No child of seven and one-quarter will know the answer to that,' Miss Grimm said to herself as she hit print. The pages whirred from the printer. She quickly snapped them up and reread the test from start to finish. There were a couple of questions that might challenge some of her staff members. An unpleasant thought began to invade her head. Perhaps she was being unduly harsh.

‘Good grief woman, stop it.' Ophelia clutched her hands to her head. ‘She shouldn't be here. She's
too young and she talks too much and … she's so like
her
.' Miss Grimm stood up, determined to banish these ridiculous thoughts from her mind. She wouldn't allow herself to be hurt again. She stalked to the far end of the study and drew back the curtain. Charlie was weeding the garden bed in the middle of the drive. Was that whistling she could hear? Was he smiling? The man must be going mad. She would write a note immediately for Miss Higgins to deliver. Whistling was banned at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale. What was he thinking, and why did he look so happy? Everyone knew that Charlie was a miserable old ox.

Alice-Miranda was summoned to Miss Higgins's office during breakfast on Monday morning. Miss Reedy smiled at her when she made the announcement, then mouthed ‘good luck' as Alice-Miranda walked by the teachers' table.

She was not particularly nervous. There were just a couple of butterflies floating around in her tummy, but Mummy and Daddy always said that it was good to have a couple – it meant that you cared. She had explained all about the test to her parents
when she spoke to them on Sunday evening.

‘That's ghastly darling,' her mother declared. ‘We'll come and get you straight away. You were accepted into the school and they can't ask you to do a test now. It's simply not fair.'

‘It's all right, Mummy. I've studied with Miss Reedy and I can only do my best,' she replied.

Her father was far more sensible. ‘Sweetheart, if you'd like to come home, you know we'll support you. But remember, you are a Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones. Not a family of quitters. I'm sure that you'll blitz the test. Just do your best. Besides, I imagine the headmistress has a very good reason for asking you to do it.'

Alice-Miranda knew she could rely on her father to be reasonable. When her mother hopped back on the phone she had calmed down.

‘All right, darling heart, we'll be thinking of you. You know that we'll be proud of you, whatever happens.'

Alice-Miranda arrived at Miss Higgins's office with her pencil case. Miss Grimm had thought carefully about where she should sit for the test. Higgins seemed rather taken with the child and she had also spied Reedy talking to her in the
quadrangle, looking far too happy. Neither of them could be trusted to supervise. She had come to the very unsettling conclusion that there was no one who could be trusted not to help the little brat. In the end Ophelia had decided that the child must sit the test at the writing table in Ophelia's own study. It was the only way she could be sure that she didn't cheat. The thought of having her in the room created a tingling discomfort that started in the soles of her feet and finished at the ends of her hair. But it had to be done.

‘Hello Miss Higgins,' Alice-Miranda let herself into the office.

‘Oh, hello Alice-Miranda.' For once Miss Higgins did not seem ready to fall off her chair. ‘I've been expecting you. Are you ready to do the test?'

‘As ready as I can be.' Alice-Miranda smiled and looked around the room. ‘Where would you like me to sit?'

‘I thought you could sit over there at the writing table.' Alice-Miranda headed for the table and began to pull out the chair. ‘But I have received a message that you're to do the test in …
there
.' Miss Higgins mouthed the word ‘there' silently and pointed at the double doors which lead into Miss Grimm's study.

‘Really?' Alice-Miranda hastily pushed the chair back under the writing table. ‘That's lovely,' she smiled. ‘I will be so glad to see Miss Grimm again. It's been over a week and I have really missed our chats.'

‘I don't think she's going to be in the mood for a chat, Alice-Miranda. In fact, she asked me to explain that you are not to speak to her at all before or during the test,' Miss Higgins said, and shook her head. ‘She was very specific.'

‘Did she say anything about after the test?' Alice-Miranda was bouncing on the spot like Tigger.

‘Well, no she didn't.' Miss Higgins tapped her right forefinger to her lips and tried to mask a smile.

‘There you are. I promise I'll not say a word – well, not unless she asks me something – before and during the test. But I will talk to Miss Grimm afterwards,' Alice-Miranda beamed.

‘I really think you shouldn't. She's been quite upset.' Miss Higgins led the way to the door. ‘Come on then, let's get you in there and get it over with.'

Miss Higgins knocked three times and turned the brass handle.

‘Come,' Miss Grimm's voice boomed from deep inside.

Miss Higgins motioned for Alice-Miranda to enter. But first she grabbed her wrists. ‘Good luck, sweetheart,' she whispered.

‘Thank you.' Alice-Miranda skipped through the doorway.

‘There.' Miss Grimm pointed at the writing table adjacent to the bookcase. It was far enough away from her own desk that she wouldn't be distracted, but the little brat would still be in full view.

Alice-Miranda skipped to the chair and pulled it out. She sat up and began arranging her pencils.

‘I hope you don't mind, Miss Grimm –'

‘SILENCE! Didn't that stupid woman tell you that you are not to speak to me before or during the test?' Miss Grimm roared, her voice shaking.

‘Ye–' Alice-Miranda suppressed the urge to answer and simply nodded.

‘Then don't speak,' Miss Grimm commanded, arching her left eyebrow.

Alice-Miranda sat at her desk and tried to remember some of the things she had studied with Miss Reedy. She glanced down at the carpet and saw two very stylish black shoes, rather like a pair her mother had at home. She was about to say something but stopped herself just in time.

‘This test has been designed, by me, to see if you are worthy of a place here at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale,' Miss Grimm began. She stood ramrod straight beside the desk but not close enough that Alice-Miranda could have reached out and touched her.

‘You have three hours. You may not ask me any questions, at all, about anything. Do you understand?'

Alice-Miranda nodded again. Miss Grimm set the paper down in front of her.

It looked like a book, rather than a test paper. She glanced up at Miss Grimm, not wanting to start before she was supposed to.

‘Well, are you going to start or are you going to sit there staring at it?' Miss Grimm barked.

Alice-Miranda wrote her name on the front page. She smiled then, as she realised that Miss Grimm would automatically know who it belonged to, seeing as she was the only one taking the test.

‘Something amusing?' Miss Grimm glared at Alice-Miranda from the safety of her desk, to which she had immediately retreated.

Alice-Miranda shook her head, her eyes fixed firmly on the paper in front of her.

‘Then I suggest you get on with it. You may find it a little … challenging,' Miss Grimm sneered.

Alice-Miranda opened the booklet and flicked through the whole document before she began. It was divided into subjects. English included sections on spelling, reading comprehension, grammar and writing. That was followed by Mathematics. She spied a couple of rather difficult-looking long divisions. Next came Geography, then Science, Art and last of all History. It was a very long paper indeed. Alice-Miranda knew that she would have to make sure she left enough time for each section so she quickly added up that three hours equal 180 minutes, which divided by six sections gave her thirty minutes for each.

She took a deep breath and began. The first section on English was not too bad at all, although
there were a couple of challenging vocabulary questions she had to think carefully about.

Write a sentence to indicate your understanding of the word ‘deplorable'
.

Fortunately her granny used that word quite often when she was describing the standard of children's manners.

My granny thinks the manners of children today are utterly deplorable
.

Alice-Miranda found that she completed the first section in less than the thirty minutes she had allowed – which was just as well, because some of the long divisions were tricky and took more time than she hoped. The Geography section proved a breeze. Alice-Miranda spent a lot of time travelling with her parents. A special hobby of her father's was to plot their route on a map and quiz Alice-Miranda about the names of the countries and various cities. Her heart practically leapt for joy when she saw the question about Rajasthan. Their dear friend Prince Shivaji lived just outside of the capital, Jaipur, in the most magnificent old palace.

Alice-Miranda was quite enjoying Miss Grimm's test. She glanced up at the clock to check how much time she had left. Three sections to go and ninety-two minutes.

The Science section didn't trouble her much either. At home when Mrs Oliver wasn't busy cooking meals for the family or teaching Alice-Miranda how to cook, she liked to indulge her passion for home chemistry. Dolly often took Alice-Miranda down to the basement where she had a laboratory set up. She was trying to invent a freeze-dried pasta sauce and various other nutritious supplements for adventurers. You see, many years before, her own husband had tragically died in his attempt to become the first man to walk the entire perimeter of Europe unassisted. Dolly always blamed herself for not packing him enough nourishing foods. Alice-Miranda had only to think of all the experiments she and Mrs Oliver had conducted, and the Science section was done.

Art was one of Alice-Miranda's favourite subjects. From a very young age she had loved nothing more than spending an afternoon with her mother wandering through galleries. Her favourite was the Louvre in Paris, although she liked it as much for the beautiful building as for the artwork inside.

The final section, History, took the least time to complete. There were questions about Ancient Rome, Ancient Egypt, the Second World War and finally about King Henry the Eighth. Alice-Miranda checked for spelling mistakes and read through the whole paper. She was satisfied that she had done her best, and that was all anyone could ask of her.

There were fifteen minutes left until her three hours were up. But Alice-Miranda felt that she had checked as much as she could. She turned to face Miss Grimm, who was sitting at her desk writing.

‘I've finished, Miss Grimm,' Alice-Miranda announced.

‘Really?' Miss Grimm glanced at the clock on the wall. She supposed that the child had tired of it all and decided to give up. ‘Bring it to me,' she commanded.

Alice-Miranda stood up and walked towards Miss Grimm. She was about to hand it to her when Miss Grimm pointed at the corner of the desk. ‘Leave it there,' she barked.

‘It was a lovely test, thank you, Miss Grimm. I really enjoyed it. There were so many interesting words and the questions were great fun,' Alice-Miranda smiled.

Miss Grimm stared over the edge of her spectacles. ‘Fun?' she barked. ‘You thought the test was fun?'

‘Oh yes, Miss Grimm. I loved that question about King Henry the Eighth and his wives. Wasn't he the most awful man? Fancy chopping off your wife's head when she upset you – how dreadful.'

Miss Grimm had a most uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach.

‘Miss Grimm, ever since I came to Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale I have loved every minute. But I have this niggling worry and, well … it's all to do with you, really,' explained Alice-Miranda.

Miss Grimm glared at this infernal child with her chocolate brown curls and eyes as big as saucers.

‘Miss Grimm, may I ask why you never come out of your study? All the girls would love to see you. They miss you. I know you are terribly busy. It must be very demanding to run a school like this and do it so well.'

Miss Grimm put her hand up to silence Alice-Miranda – but she would not be quiet.

‘It's just that everyone needs you. I know Miss Higgins does a wonderful job delivering all your messages and things but it's you the girls want to see. And Mr Charles and Howie and Mrs Smith – when
she gets back from America, of course – and all the teachers must want to see you too.'

Alice-Miranda walked around to Miss Grimm's side of the desk. She hesitated, then reached up and gently touched her shoulder. Miss Grimm recoiled as though she had just been hit with 40,000 volts. She leapt from her chair and ran towards the door at the other end of the study. Alice-Miranda could have sworn she heard a sob as Miss Grimm threw open the door.

‘Get out of my study,' she turned back and screamed. ‘Get out and do not come back!' Miss Grimm disappeared through the door, slamming it behind her.

‘I'm sorry, Miss Grimm, I didn't mean to upset you,' Alice-Miranda whispered.