Alexxxa (13 page)

“I told her that I started going by Alexa in L.A. because I wanted to start over fresh. She can’t break herself of calling me Andy though. And I wouldn’t want her to, she’s always called me Andy. Plus you only called me Alexa when you first got there, then you switched to Andy. She was so focused on Eli that it worked well with that distraction. Normally she’s much more observant.”

I nodded again but didn’t know what else to say. Alexa seemed to have fallen into a kind of morose mood. What I actually wanted to do was to talk about our kiss and what it meant…if anything. Things were very odd between us at the moment.

“Are you happy, David?” Alexa’s voice cut through the silence sharply, before she turned her watery blue gaze on me.

“Yeah, sure I’m happy.” Where was she going with this?

“No, I mean are you really and truly happy? Aren’t there still things in life that you want?”

I was looking at one. I wanted her. “Ummm…sure. There are still things I aspire to do and things I want to acquire. I want to get married one day and have kids. And there’s still a lot I want to accomplish with my career.”

Alexa’s lower lip trembled. I fought the urge to take her in my arms. “Kids. And a husband. I used to want those things.” She turned her face back towards the window.

“And you don’t want them anymore?”

“It’s just—“ Her voice cracked. “That kind of life isn’t in the cards for me.”

“Says who?” She lifted her hand and let it fall loudly onto the leather seat. “Everyone.”

I was suddenly angry. Without thinking I grabbed her by the shoulder and swiveled her around so I could look into her eyes. “I’m someone, and I say you can have those things. You just have to want them enough to go after them.”

A single tear escaped the confines of her left eye and trickled down her cheek. I wiped it away with my index finger and Alexa sighed softly. “If only that were true.”

I’ll give you those things!
I screamed in my mind.
I’ll love you, take care of you…give you anything you want! Holy fuck…do I love her?
“It is true,” was the only thing I said out loud. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. Was it actually possible that I was in love with Alexa? When did that happen? I knew I was developing deeper feelings for her…but love? How could I have let myself fall so fast? If I was in fact…fuck...no…I couldn’t be.

“I’m a porn star, David.”

“So give it up. Do something else. You’re making it way more complicated than it needs to be.”

Alexa’s eyes narrowed and more liquid spilled from them. “I need that as part of my life too. I mean, I love it. I love being a porn star, but I can’t be one and have the rest. I made my choice years ago.”

“You can’t be a porn star forever. You—“

“I know that!” Alexa yelled, ire replacing her sadness. “Do you think I don’t know that? But right now I need it. I need it.” She dropped her face into her hands.

I leaned forward and pried them away, tipping her chin up so I could meet her gaze once again. Her eyes were tumultuous, swirling with dark emotions. All I could think was that I wanted nothing more than to make her happy. She deserved to be happy, to have everything she’d been denying herself simply because she thought she wasn’t good enough on some level. “You’re worthy of love, Alexa, or Andy. Whatever name you want to go by…you’re still you… And I happen to think you’re pretty amazing.”

“You don’t even know me, not really.”

“I know enough.” The words were barely out of my mouth when Alexa launched herself at me, tackling me. My head bounced off the cool leather seat as she pressed her lips hungrily to mine.

~Alexa

Since the moment he’d stepped into my life, David Jonez had been making me question everything. I no longer knew which way was up, and which way was down. It was amazing how quickly I’d formed an attachment to him. Or maybe it wasn’t. My life, besides my career, was empty. Sure, I had my Aunt Suzy, and my friends, but it’d been so long since I had even the beginning of a real connection with anyone. Maybe I shouldn’t fuck David to try and get him out of my system… Maybe I should fuck him to try and keep him. What if I kept him? Could I? Was it really possible?

When he’d said exactly what I’d wanted to hear, that I was worthy of love, and that I was amazing… I wondered if he would feel that way if he knew all of me, all of my dirty little secrets? Maybe I shouldn’t bother with trying to keep him after all. But he made my decision when he’d muttered the three little words: I know enough. Something clicked and I knew one hundred percent I had to try and keep him. Maybe he’d shown up in my life for a reason. I wasn’t going to wait to find out. I was done questioning it. David may not be the type of guy I normally went for, but fuck it, I wanted him, and I was going to get him.

I threw myself at him, knocking him down onto the back seat of the Lincoln, and quickly slanted my lips over his. I sucked on his tongue and he bit my lower lip. His hands slid down to cup my ass and his strong fingers dug into the giving flesh there. I felt crazed, desperate, and I needed to have him inside me more than I needed air to breathe. I attempted to undo his pants without breaking our kiss but it proved more difficult than I would have thought.

“These need to come off. Now.” I grunted in frustration against David’s lips.

My lust filled comment seemed to bring him back to himself, at least partially. His hands were still roaming my body freely, kneading and fondling. “We can’t have sex here.”

“Why not?” I rocked my hips into his hand, grinding my pelvis against his palm, and wished I’d worn a skirt.
If I’d worn one he’d probably already be inside me.

“Because people can see us…our driver for one.”

“I know.”
Success!
I’d managed to undo his pants and I wrapped one hand around his pulsing shaft.

“We can’t here. Alexa, we’re almost to the hotel.” His words were telling me one thing but his body was saying something completely different.

As I stroked him I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “I like when people watch. I want everyone to see your big beautiful cock and what it does to me. I want everyone to see—the entire world.”

“Fuck,” David grated before pushing me off him. I thought that was going to be the end of our little car interlude, but instead he surprised me by flipping me over and pulling down my pants. He pushed me so that he could enter me from behind and I had to brace myself by placing my hands on the window. As he slid into to me for the first time, a feeling of completion and oneness settled over me. As ridiculous as it sounds… Of all the men I’ve fucked, his cock felt better than the rest. Everything about being with David was better than all the rest.

“Fuck me harder, David, harder,” I demanded as I writhed against him. His flesh slapped against mine in an almost painful way, but I loved every second of it. My hands slid down the window and I pressed my face against the door. My thighs were quivering and my muscles were winding tighter and tighter. And then my world fell apart and came together all in the same moment. “Yes, David, yeeees!” I cried out.

No sooner had I come then David released inside of me. I wasn’t used to not having a guy spew his spunk all over me, but it was a welcome change, especially with someone I actually had feelings for.

When my clenching muscles had wrung David completely dry, he leaned over me and wrapped an arm around my waist. He kissed the back of my neck and then pulled out of me. “Fuck. I can’t believe I just did that,” he said gruffly, his voice still flavored from sex.

“Neither can those teenage boys.” I pointed at a group of guys snapping pictures with their cell phones on the street corner. I hadn’t noticed that we were stopped at a red light. I giggled. “Those will be everywhere soon. Can you say viral?”

“Shit,” David muttered as the two of us righted our clothing. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, you might ruin the moment.” I was being completely serious. Something special has just happened between David and I, and I really didn’t want my afterglow to fade too quickly by way of a reality check. I snuggled under his arm and smiled up at him. “That was absolutely amazing.”

David ran a hand through his dark hair and met my gaze. His blue eyes, despite the turmoil in them, seemed electrified with energy. No matter how much he protested, I knew deep down he’d enjoyed what had happened just as much as I did. The fact that I so easily was able to get him riled up to give into me… Well that boded very well for my plan to keep him, because apparently David was easily persuaded by sex. Lucky for me, sex just happened to be my specialty.

~David

Sticking with my latest trend of going all ‘girly’ around Alexa, I couldn’t seem to help the words that flew out of my mouth. “What’s going on between us? I mean with us?” I yanked off my glasses and pinched the bridge of my nose. “What do you want from me, Alexa?”

She slid my glasses out from my grasp and straddled me. “Look at me, David.” I opened my eyes and gazed up at her angelic form. She was utter perfection, and yeah, I was pretty sure I loved her, which meant I was in for a world of trouble. “I want to give us a shot. I want to date you.”

My mouth fell open and no sound escaped my lungs, except for a whoosh of air. Alexa peered down at me with a smile on her face. “Don’t you have like a million questions or something? Or did I just fuck you stupid?”

I fought the sudden urge to respond to her with a snarky comment of my own but rerouted our chat back to the true matter at hand. “And how exactly would that work?”
Why am I questioning this? I need to just go with it. Enjoy her while you can, before she crushes you under her stiletto boots.

She bit her lip and studied my face for a moment before speaking. “I’d imagine like it does for most people.”

Frustration bubbled up in me. Sure, I was flattered that she wanted to date me, but I was also a realist. Loving her didn’t change that about me. When I imagined us being together in my wildest fantasies, nowhere had I pictured her being a porn star. In my imaginings, she would give up porn for me. I knew that would never happen in real life though, and I wasn’t comfortable thinking about her fucking other guys while she was with me. “What about the whole porn thing?”

“What about it?”

“I wouldn’t exactly be a fan of you being with other guys if we were together.”

Alexa slid off me and slumped into the seat beside me, crossing her arms. “Hey you know, our driver has been awfully quiet up there. What do you think is going through his mind right now? Do you think he’s turned on? Or maybe he’s skeeved out? Sometimes it’s hard to tell how someone will react to public displays of sex or PDS as I like to call them.”

I glanced up at our driver and then back to her. I idly mused about how I was glad it wasn’t our regular driver Dennis, but then I snapped my thoughts back to what we had been talking about before Alexa’s attempted subject change. “He’s probably wondering how exactly us dating would work too.” I quirked an eyebrow at her in challenge. “And can I please have my glasses back?”

She handed them to me. “Have you ever thought about contacts?” Alexa leaned into me and ran her hands through my hair. My dick sat up to attention at such a small touch from her even though we’d just had sex. “They irritate my eyes. And stop trying to change the subject.”

Alexa flopped back in her seat and huffed. “I’m not giving up porn for you. Normally a guy goes a few dates before asking that one.”

“Never?”

She began twirling a piece of her long blonde hair around her index finger as she pretended to consider my question. “Never say never, or so I’ve heard. But I don’t plan on giving up porn before I’m ready.”

“And when will that be?”

“When I’m too old to do it anymore,” she snapped.

I exhaled slowly. “I really don’t see how the two of us would work then.” I hated saying those words out loud but if my feelings for her were already so complicated, I hated to think what would happen, months or years from now. She’d shatter my heart into billions of pieces.