Alexander Outland: Space Pirate (30 page)

“Captain?”

“Yes, Audrey? Do you have a question to add into the game?”

“No. I just wanted to point out that the armada is moving. Towards us.”

“S
tations! We’ll figure out the rest of this as we go along.”

Just like always.

“If one more crazed Ebegorn shows up, I’m going to space something,” Slinkie muttered as she left the cockpit.

“Slink, I love you. That’s it.”

“What’s it?” This was chorused by most of the crew, other than Audrey, who was busy turning on our shields and warming up the hyper-drive.

“The thing I couldn’t remember where I’d filed.”

“What? Nap, did you crack your skull or something?”

“No, Slink, I’m fine. Nitin has an Ebegorn tattooed on his chest, right over his heart.”

“Why? I mean, they look ridiculous.”

“Yes, they do. Because they look like clowns. You told me yourself, Slinkie. The Ebegorn is called the clown bird. It’s a large bird with a wild mop of feathers on its head and a somewhat stupid expression. Pretty hilarious to look at, but also a great predator and flier. And Ebegorns hunt in flocks. Large, nasty flocks.”

“So?”

I sighed. “So, let me spell it out for you. Nigel Nitin has another last name. It’s de Chance. He’s either also a son of the original
Lucky Pierre or he’s related to the de Chance family in some way. I mean, come on—Lucky Pierre and the French Ticklers? The guy’s a joker… a clown.” I remembered something else. “I have papers with an Ebegorn crest that I took from Nitin. Written in code. Haven’t had time to look at them.”

“I’m good with codes, Nap.”

“Tanner Lauris, come on down and get your next assignment. Work on them in between cooking breakfast and dying, okay?”

“Ah, Not-Really-Almondinger is truly named Tanner Lauris? Much better, I must say.”

“Nap, I thought we weren’t supposed to tell him my real name.” Tanner was back in the cockpit, waiting for the papers.

Dang. I’d done it again. Oh well, Lionside was crew now. “You weren’t supposed to, Tanner. As captain, I make the decisions for who we trust when.” I dug the papers out of my inner jacket pocket.

“You mean it slipped out again.” He took the papers from me and started thumbing through them. “When are you going to work on those little details?”

“Being a smartass is the most direct way to janitorial duty.”

“I’ll worry about it if we live.” Tanner shook his head. “It’s an old code.”

“Work on it with the Governor. Bonding time and all that. It’ll give the geezer something to live for.”

“I heard that, Alexander.”

“Estimate we have at least thirty-seven minutes before the armada arrives to engage, Captain.”

“That’s an odd amount of time.”

“Why so?” Tanner was still looking through the papers.

“I’ll explain while you head back to your station.”

He rolled his eyes. “The galley’s not exactly a battle station, Nap.”

“You never knew my Great-Aunt Clara, did you? Head off, I want you strapped in or helping Randolph or Slinkie, whoever shrieks your name the loudest.” He sighed but did as he was told. Good kid. Hopefully we’d make it long enough for me to turn him
into a fully good man. Of course, I’d helped a lot with that already. “It’s an odd amount of time because if they’re jumping, then they should be here in less than five minutes, and if they’re not, then they should be here in a day.”

“True,” Lionside chimed in. “Herion to Runilio is normally a full day trip on an express charter. It’s longer on a standard charter. Most ships would do it in at least a couple of days, to conserve fuel, lower wear and tear on their ships, and prevent space-sickness.”

“The armada is not jumping, Captain. However, they are moving much faster than express-level speeds.”

“Randolph, how can they do that?”

“Advanced quantum physics. You want me to go into detail?”

“No, not at all. Ever. I want you to explain why they have it and the rest of us do not. And when I say ‘the rest of us’, take that to mean me, specifically.”

“It’s something a variety of space engineers and scientists have been working on for a while. How to move faster without having to use hyper-speed. It’s most important to systems like Herion’s, where you have a lot of planets and a lot of active trade between them.” Randolph chuckled. “So it’s kind of funny.”

“What’s funny?”

“Oh, just that the scientists and engineers who’ve made the most strides on this over the past couple of decades are on Trennile Main.”

While Randolph continued to chuckle, I pondered. Trennile Main was an extremely remote planet in the Alpha Quadrant. It was the sole populated planet in its system, but it was quite self-sufficient. Not a lot of trade in and out, considered a great place to go to think and learn, since there were limited distractions.

Lionside cleared his throat. “Ah, Outland? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I think so.”

“You two want to share what you’re thinking, or just say the word think a few more times until I break both of your eggs?”

Slinkie sounded testy. I chose to figure that meant she was as frustrated by the constant coitus interruptus as I was. Not that we’d made it even close to the coitus part, but that was certainly my intention and it was being interrupted nonstop.

Lionside cleared his throat and I opened my mouth, but Tanner beat us to the punch. “They’re thinking they’ve found Lucky Pierre’s base of power.”

“Tanner, new rule. You don’t steal the captain’s big reveal moment.”

“Oh, noted.” I detected sarcasm, and a lot of it. The kid was coming along fast.

“Makes sense, Alexander. However, it doesn’t help us if we don’t survive.”

“Good point, Governor.” I considered my options. As my Great-Aunt Clara always said, he who fights and runs away can usually live to fight another day, but he who runs without fighting gets farther and faster, and sometimes can’t be caught. She was a nasty biddy, but she did occasionally have a point.

I made the calculations. “Captain, what are you doing?” Audrey asked this very quietly. I saw her turn the ship’s intercom off.

“What, off the group com, do you think I’m doing, Audrey?”

“An interesting gambit. You did make some promises.”

“The people I made those promises to are either dead, on this ship, or so far away that the situation will be handled by the time they find out.”

“Good point.”

“Any argument?”

“Honestly? No. I enjoy being alive, just like you do. I’m not alive in the same way, but I can die and I don’t want to. And I don’t want Randolph or the rest of you to die, either.”

“You know, Audrey? I think this could be the start of a beautiful flying relationship. Hulky, your thoughts?” I already knew what the
Sixty-Nine
thought about the idea. A girl tended to get mussed up when she was attacked by a dozen big, nasty bullies. She was all for choosing where and when we fought, and doing our best to stack
the odds in our favor.

Hulky formed into his box and saluted. Then he shifted and showed me a different solar system. It had no space traffic, only that was normal. “Good man. Audrey? Let’s turn the com back on, please.” She did. “Okay, gang, I want everyone strapped in. It’s going to get bumpy and uncomfortable fast.”

There were some questions and grumbling, but they did as they were told, per Audrey’s monitors. I could tell the last couple of days had taken a lot out of them—my usual crew never complied easily unless we were in the thick of battle and the short experience with Tanner and Lionside indicated they’d fit right in with everyone else without missing a beat.

Everyone was locked in, calculations were made, all was in readiness. “The armada is twenty minutes from us, Captain.”

I considered. If we left now, that gave them that much more time to figure out where we’d gone. If I waited, something could go wrong. In fact, so many things could go wrong that I could spend the next twenty minutes listing them.

I hit the hyper-drive button.

Against most of my initial expectations, we actually took off.

Happily, it was impossible to talk or move much during a jump, so I had plenty of time to consider what I was going to say when the shouting started in nine minutes.

Among my possible answers was the simple fact that picking where we fought was a huge incentive. That Lucky Pierre was going to follow us was now a given. He wanted me and the
Sixty-Nine
—Nitin’s little charade had proved that.

Any time we could buy would be good. It would give Tanner and the Governor time to work on the code. It would give us all time to rest. And it would give me an opportunity to get Slinkie to rest with me.

Reality intruded and mentioned there was no way Slinkie and I were going to have time for a decent tumble. Probably not even a quickie. And it was Slinkie. And would be our first time. I didn’t want to rush it. Honestly, I wanted it to be perfect. So perfect she’d never consider the idea that anyone else could ever match up. That kind of perfection took time and a reasonably relaxed atmosphere.

There was nothing for it. I was going to have to defeat this intrusive pirate armada so I could get my girl. Life, truly, wasn’t fair.

We came out of the jump. Trennile Main was an Earth-like
planet, only double the size. Lots of water and foliage, so it sparkled green and blue in the light of its sun. I checked the grids—true to expectations, we were the only ship in the system.

I’d ensured we exited our jump far enough away that Trennile Mission Control would be unlikely to monitor. It was a seven planet system, with Trennile Main being planet number four. We were on the back side of planet number seven.

“Audrey, are you able to monitor to see if we’re being picked up by Trennile Main?”

“Yes, Captain. So far, we are undetected. Or they are pretending.”

“Figure they don’t know they’d need to pretend. Keep monitoring, however.”

There was a pounding of feet and, shockingly, the crew were all back in the cockpit. They couldn’t seem to handle long separations from me.

“Outland, where the hell are we and why?”

“Trennile solar,” Tanner answered after a look at Hulky’s latest schematic. “But I’m with Lionside—why?”

“I thought we promised to take care of Lucky Pierre and his boys. You told Janz the Butcher you’d do that.” Randolph sounded just this side of panicked.

“I tell Janz a lot of things. He tells me a lot of things, too. What he doesn’t tell me is how to go about doing what I do best.”

“Get us into trouble?” Slinkie sounded like she was only half-joking.

“And out of it.” I sighed. “Look. I’m sure you can all think of some good reasons why I took us here. But while we have the element of surprise on our side—for the first time since this whole ordeal started, I might add—I’d like to take advantage of it.”

“Are you thinking this is the last place Lucky Pierre would think we’d go, Alexander?” The Governor, unlike everyone else, didn’t seem upset by the fact we were here. Of course, he was the one with the most experience.

“No. I think he’ll figure out we’re here.”

“Fighting on his home turf might not be in our best interests.”

“Fighting him on Herion’s turf wasn’t in our best interests, either.”

“You did gain some valuable personnel,” Lionside said. Hulky went large and flashy. He coughed. “And, ah, sentient electronics.”

“Aw, don’t sell it short. Hulky’s been worth his weight in Herion Bitterroot. Tanner’s working out, too, I must admit. Your jury, Lionside, is still out.”

“Universal communicator.”

“I’ll bet Randolph or Audrey could both work said communicator and fix it as well.”

“Intricate knowledge of the military mind and protocols.”

“The Governor’s probably got that covered.”

“Weapons expert.”

“I point you to Slinkie, who you are not allowed to touch.” She laughed softly and looked flattered. She liked me possessive. That was good. Because I was.

Lionside sighed. “Biggest guy on your crew, and fully capable of cracking a human skull in either hand.”

“I knew I brought you along for something.”

“Oh, good. I ask again, why are we here? If you were jumping us, why not take us to where we could get some support?”

“Just where would that be?” I shook my head. “See, this is why you’re still at the worth-proving stage. No one’s going to help us. I know that. So I’m not wasting time trying to get help. I’m spending time trying to get into a position of strength.”

“Why wouldn’t some other planetary system’s military help? We’re fighting a dangerous pirate armada. Surely you have contacts who would support you.”

I snorted. I couldn’t help it. “Look, think. The only group willing to work with us on this was Herion Military, and only barely. Frankly, you all wanted me to solve your problem while you hid out. Right now, the problem is limited to your solar system, and people are self-centered twits with short memories. Until it’s not a Herion-only problem, they won’t want to get involved. And the
moment it becomes a bigger-than-Herion problem it’ll be too late. That’s why the Butcher wants them stopped now.”

“He’s right,” Tanner sad. “Aviatus wouldn’t be willing to help, and they’re the next most likely system for Lucky Pierre to target. Earth won’t help—too far away to care, and they’re too old, fat and protected. By the time Lucky Pierre would really make Earth’s radars, it’ll be too late for the entire galaxy. I could go on naming systems, it’s all the same. The only military with chips in this game is Herion’s. And your system’s been shut down, and the only person in Herion Military who has both the understanding of the situation and the correct belief about what to do is you.”

I took the opportunity to circle the planet. It wasn’t habited or even habitable, but it wasn’t like some, where you couldn’t get within its atmosphere without having your ship destroyed. Trennile’s system was notable in that all of the uninhabited planets were decent places to be, with breathable air. That no one had tried to terraform or pioneer was considered one of those quirks of fate. Now I wondered if we were going to find out that the quirk was named de Chance and the fate was that he and his people ran off anyone who expressed an interest in moving into the neighborhood.