Alcatraz versus the Knights of Crystallia (20 page)

"This place is that bad?
" I asked as we entered the cav
ernous main room of the Royal Archives.
I didn't see any
books
–
it
looked mostly empty.

"This place?"
S
ing asked.
"
O
h, I didn't mean the Royal
Archives, which is not a library.
I was talking about Nalhalla.
I didn't get to do as much research in the Hushlands as I
wanted!
I was deeply engaged in a study on Hushlander
transportation when your grandfather got me and we
started our infiltration."

"It's really not that interesting there," I said.

"You just say that because you are accustomed to it!"
Sing said.
"Each day,
something new and exciting hap
pened!
Right before we left, I finally managed to meet a
real
cabdriver
!
I had him drive me around the block, and
while I was disappointed that we didn't get into a car
wreck, I'm sure after a fe
w more days I could have experi
enced one."

"Those are kind of dangerous, Sing."

"Oh, I was ready for danger
,”
he said.
"I made sure to
wear safety goggles!"

I sighed, but made no other comment.
T
r
ying to curb
Sing's love of the Hushlands
was like . . . well, like kick
ing a puppy.
A six-foot-eight, three-hundred-fifty-pound
Hawaiian puppy.
Who liked to carry guns.

"This place doesn't look all that impressive," I said,
glancing about at the maj
estic pillars and enormous hall
ways.
"Where are the books?"

"Oh, this isn't the archives," Sing said, pointing toward a
doorway.
"The archives are in there."

I raised an eyebrow and walked to the door, then pulled
it open.
Inside, I found an army.

There were a good fifty or sixty soldiers, all standing at
attention in ranks, their metal helmets glistening in the
lamplight.
At the back of the room, there was a set of stairs
leading down.

"Wow," I said.

"Why, young Lord Smedry!" a voice boomed.
I turned
and was surprised to see Archedis
–
the
big-chinned
Knight of
C
rystallia from Bastille's trial
–
walking
toward
me.
"How surprising to see you here!"

"Sir Archedis," I said.
"I could say the same of you, I
guess."

"There are always two full knights on guard at the Royal
Archives," Archedis said.

"Not a library," one of the soldiers added.

"I was just here overseeing a shift change," Archedis said,
stepping up to me.

He was a lot more intimidating when standing.

Silvery armor, rectangular face, a chin that could destroy
small countries if it fell into the wrong hands.
Sir Archedis
was the type of knig
ht that people stuck on recruit
ment posters.

"Well," I said. "We came to investigate the Royal
Archives –“

"Not a library," Sir Archedis said.

"
– because
we think the Librarians might be interested
in them."

"They're quite well protected," Archedis said in his deep
voice.
“
A half platoon of soldiers and two Crystin!
But I
suppose it couldn't hurt to have an Oculator around too,
particularly when there are Librarians in town!"

He glanced over my shoulder. "I see that you've
brought young Bastille with you," he added. "Good job
–
keep
her moving about and not wallowing in her
punishment!"

I glanced back at Bastille.
She'd focused on Sir Archedis,
and I thought I was beginning to see some emotion return
to her.
Likely she was thinking about how much she'd
like to ram something long and pointy into his chest.

"I'm sorry we had
to meet under such poor circum
stances, Lord Smedry," Archedis said to me.
"I've been
following your exploits."

"Oh
,”
I said, flushing.
"You mean the books?"

Archedis laughed. "No, no, your real exploits! The battle
against Blackburn was
r
eportedly quite impressive, and I
would have liked to see that fight with the Alivened.
I hear
that you handled yourself quite well."

"Oh," I said, smiling.
“
Well, thanks."

"But tell me," he said, leaning down.
"Did you
really
break a
C
rystin sword with that T
a
lent of yours?"

I nodded.
"Hilt came right off in my hand.
I didn't real
ize it, but the problem was my emotion.
I was so nervous
that the Ta
lent
activated with a lot of power.”

"
W
ell, I guess I just have to take your word!" Archedis
said.
"
W
ould you like a knight as guard for your person
during this investigation?"

"No," I said. "I think we'll be fine."

"Very well, then," he said, slapping me on the back.
(Side
note: Getting slapped
–
even
affectionately
–
on
the back
by someone wearing gauntlets is
not
comfortable.)
"
C
arry
on, and best of luck."
He turned to the soldiers.
"Let them
pass and follow their orders!
This is the heir of House
Smedry!"

The soldiers,
en
masse
,
saluted.
W
ith that, Archedis
marched out the door, armor clinking.

"I like that guy," I said after he was gone.

"Everyone does,"
S
ing said.
"
S
ir Archedis is one of the
most influential knights in the order."

"Oh, I don't think everyone likes him," I said, glancing at
Bastille.
She was watching the doorway.

"He's amazing," she whispered, surprising me.
"He's one
of the reasons I decided to join."

"But he was one of the ones who voted to have you
stripped of your rank!"

"He was the least harsh on me," Bastille said.

"Only because
I
convinced him to be."

She regarded me with an odd expression; it seemed that
she was coming out of her funk a little bit.
"I thought you
liked him."

"Well, I
do,"
I
said.

Or at least I
had
liked him - right up until the point
that Bastille had started talking about how wonderful he
was.
Now, quite suddenly, I became convinced that Sir
Archedis was plain and dull-witted.
I prepared to explain
this to Bastille, but was interrupted as the soldiers began to
make way for us to pass.

"Ah, nice," Sing said, walking forward.
"Last time, I had
to spend an hour appeasing their security requirements."

Bastille followed.
She
obviously hadn't recovered com
pletely, even if she was a little more animated.
We entered
the stairwell, and for a brief moment I was reminded of the
Library of Alexandria, with its
wraith
l
ike
Librarians and
endless rows of dusty tomes and scrolls.
It had been beneath
the ground too.

The similarity soon ended.
Not only was the Royal
Archives
not
a library, but the
s
tairwell didn't end in
a strange
teleporting darkness.
Instead, it stretched on for
a distance, dusty and dry.
When we finally reached the bot
to
m, we found the two Knights of C
rystallia standing guard
at another set of doors.
The
y saluted, apparently recognizing
Sing and me.

"How long will you need access, my lord?" one of the
knights asked.

"Oh," I s
aid. "Um, I'm not really sure.”

"
C
heck back with us in an hour, if you don't mind," said
the other knight
– a
stout woman with blond hair.

"All right," I said.

W
ith that, the two kni
ghts pushed open the doors, letting me, S
ing, and Bastille into the archives.
"
W
ow," I said.
That just didn't seem to cover it.
"
W
ow
," I repeated, this
time with emphasis.

You're probably expecting a grand description here.
S
omething impressive to depict the majestic collection of
tomes that made up the archives.
That's because you misinterpreted my "wow."
You see,
like all alphabetically late palindromic exclamations, "wow"
can be interpreted a lot of different ways.
It's what we call
"versatile," which is just another way of saying that it's a
dumb thing to say.

After all, "wow" could mean "That's great!"
Or it could
mean "That's disturbing."
It could also mean "Oh, he
y, look,
a dinosaur is about to eat me!"
Or it could even mean "I
just won the lottery, though I don't know what I'll do with
all that money, seeing as how I'm in the stomach of a
dinosaur."

(As a side note to this side note: As we found in book
one, it is true that most dinosaurs are fine folk and not at
all man-eaters.
However, there are some notable exceptions,
such as the Quesadilla and the infamous Bront
e
sister.)

In my case, "wow" didn't mean any of these things.
It
meant something closer to: "This place is a total mess!"

"This place is a total mess!" I exclaimed.

"No need to repeat yourself," Bastille grumbled.
(Bastille
speaks fluent woweeze.)

Books were heaped lik
e piles of scrap in an old, run
down junkyard.
There were
mountains of them, discarded,
abused, and in total disarray.
The cavern seemed to extend
forever, and the piles of books formed mounds and hills,
like sand dunes made from pages and letters and words.

I glanced back at the knights guarding the doorway.
“
Is
there some kind of organization to all of this?
”
I asked
hopefully.

The knight paled in the face. "
Organi
zation?
Like . . . a
cataloging system?"

"Yeah," I said.
"
Y
ou know, so that we can find stuff
easily?"

"That's what Librarians do!" the blond knight said.