[Alaskan Quest 02] - Under the Northern Lights (32 page)

Sigrid frowned. ‘‘I’ve avoided immersing myself in that sorry affair. There is much to concern ourselves with regarding the war. I feel that one way or another we will find our men dragged into this fight, but I certainly cannot approve it. It’s a waste of human lives.’’

‘‘Do you have specific news?’’

Sigrid shook her head. ‘‘None that I care to discuss at a joyous occasion such as this.’’ She smiled graciously. ‘‘I would much rather stay on positive topics.’’

Like nannies raising children?
Helaina wondered. She toyed with her food and suddenly felt very frustrated. She used to be just like Sigrid. She thought nothing of stating her opinion and laying out her values for all to see and evaluate. Perhaps that was what irritated her most about Sigrid. It was the reminder of who Helaina had once been.

She glanced again at Jacob, who seemed to be captivated by Emma’s sister. And why not? The petite young woman was charming and beautiful. She was also well educated and loved to talk about the things she enjoyed. The conversation had now turned to a trip Sigrid had made to Sweden. She was telling of their relatives and the life they lived in various cities and towns.

‘‘Of course, our family is very close,’’ she said, looking to Emma, who nodded. ‘‘We have always been that way and always will be. Nothing will break our ties. We cherish family too much. That’s why I shall miss you all so much when you’ve gone away. I’ve hardly had time to get to know the children and you will leave tomorrow.’’

Emma dabbed at tears. ‘‘But we shall be back in late August.

We cannot leave for too long, after all. The people here need us.’’

‘‘Yes, we do,’’ Leah agreed. ‘‘I’m so sorry, Emma, but you will have to excuse me. I’m afraid I’m completely worn out.’’ She turned to Jayce. ‘‘Would you mind if I went home?’’

‘‘If you plan to go alone, then I mind very much.’’ He got to his feet and helped Leah from the table. ‘‘Emma, Helaina, the food was wonderful. Thank you for inviting us to share in this.’’

‘‘Yes, it was a great time,’’ Leah agreed. ‘‘I was very fond of the strawberry preserves. I haven’t had any in some time.’’

‘‘I shall bring you an entire jar as a gift for the baby,’’ Sigrid said, smiling. ‘‘And since babies cannot eat jam, you will have to take care of it for him . . . or her.’’

‘‘Thank you, Sigrid. You are very kind. I know we shall be good friends,’’ Leah replied.

Helaina had taken as much as she could stand. In her mind she pictured this wonderful little group—so close and congenial— while she stood on the outside. She was a stranger here, even though she’d spent an entire winter with these people . . . even though they’d gone through hideous life and death experiences together.

A lump formed in her throat, and Helaina knew tears would soon follow if she didn’t busy herself with something else. ‘‘I’ll clean up,’’ she said, reaching out to gather several dirty dishes.

‘‘No,’’ Sigrid said, putting her hand atop Helaina’s. ‘‘That is my job now. It will be my home, and I will care for it. You must have a wonderful time on your last evening here. Take a walk. Go say good-bye to old friends.’’

‘‘I’ll help Sigrid,’’ Jacob said as he gathered his own things together.

Helaina swallowed hard. All she could do was nod. She wasn’t needed here. She’d been replaced.

Chapter Twenty-seven

J
ayce looked at the missive in his hand, then raised his gaze to meet Leah’s face. ‘‘Well?’’ she asked.

Jayce turned to Jacob and shook his head. ‘‘The letter says that Captain Latimore intends to be here next week. The letter was mailed in early May. He’s expecting Jacob and me to join him for his northerly adventures. His plans, it seems, have changed again. Now he has someone funding a trip to the Queen Elizabeth Islands. Apparently these are Canadian islands some distance north and east of the Yukon Territory.’’

‘‘That’s a long distance away,’’ Jacob said. ‘‘How does he plan to go exploring and get back before he gets frozen in?’’

‘‘Well, according to the letter he is merely escorting this team of archeologists, botanists, and geologists to the islands, where they plan to work for the next four years. He has been commissioned to bring them supplies over that time period. He’d like to include us in the project because we speak some of the native languages, you know dogs, and I’m a geologist.’’

‘‘Will his wife accompany him again?’’ Leah asked.

Jayce shook his head. ‘‘No. Sadly enough she has passed away.’’

‘‘What? But how?’’

Jayce hesitated to say. He took a deep breath. ‘‘It seems she died in childbirth.’’

Leah’s hand went to her overextended stomach. ‘‘No. How awful. You certainly would not expect such things to happen in big cities where doctors and hospitals are available.’’

‘‘Nor do I expect them to happen here,’’ Jayce reassured. ‘‘Don’t let this make you overly sad or worried. It wouldn’t be good for you or the baby.’’

‘‘I feel so awful for Captain Latimore. He’s a good man and seemed to love his family very much,’’ Leah said. ‘‘And his poor little son is now without a mother.’’

‘‘It is indeed sad.’’ He paused and looked at the letter again.

‘‘It also says that the
Homestead
caught fire and completely burned last winter. He has replaced that ship with a new one and has called it the
Regina,
after his wife.’’

‘‘I suppose what remains to be discussed,’’ Leah said, looking to her husband, ‘‘is will you go?’’

Jayce desired to head north and continue the adventure he’d tried to begin last year. But looking at his pregnant wife, he didn’t see how that was any longer possible. He was a married man with a child on the way. Those kinds of obligations changed a man’s choices.

‘‘I can’t leave you like this. The baby won’t be born for another few weeks by your own calculations. How could I go without knowing if I have a son or a daughter?’’

Leah frowned. ‘‘But I know what this means to you. I also know there is very little for you to do here this summer and certainly no employment short of ensuring our own survival. I’ve already been praying about it, lest I fret over such matters.’’

‘‘My employment is not your concern, my dear. That is solely my responsibility. I wouldn’t have you worrying over it.’’

‘‘But you do desire to go, don’t you?’’ Her words were quite matter-of-fact.

Jayce wouldn’t lie to her. ‘‘I would like it very much.’’

‘‘Then I want you to go. Whether the baby has come or not, you need to do this. Besides, it’s just for a few months. The summer will be so busy for me, I’ll probably not even notice that you’re gone,’’ she said with a smile.

Jayce knew better. ‘‘You’re a poor liar, Mrs. Kincaid.’’

Leah laughed. ‘‘I’m not lying. Not really. I know that with the baby, I’ll be quite busy. Not only that, but I’ll help with the fishing and smoking of salmon and seal. I’ll help pick berries and greens and look for medicinal herbs and roots. You haven’t been here for my summer routine. There is much to do.’’

‘‘But we were to build a new house this summer. The supplies are to be shipped here by July.’’

‘‘So I will hire help to see it built,’’ Leah replied. ‘‘We have good men here in the village, or I can bring in others from Nome. I’ll see it done, or if you prefer, it can wait. The baby won’t be so big by next summer that a larger house can’t be postponed until then.’’

Jayce folded the letter and put it in his pocket. ‘‘I’ll pray about it.’’

Leah smiled and turned to Jacob. ‘‘You must convince him. He needs this adventure—I’m sure of that.’’

‘‘It would be easier if the baby were already here,’’ Jayce said. ‘‘Then I’d know that you were safely delivered and doing well.’’

Leah laughed and struggled to her feet. ‘‘Then I shall pray for God to begin my labor.’’

Jayce chuckled and jumped up to help his wife. ‘‘You go rest and pray then, my love. I want you doing little else.’’

‘‘I’m much stronger than you give me credit for,’’ Leah declared. ‘‘I wouldn’t want to drive a dog team, but I can clean up my house.’’

‘‘Jacob and I will see to everything. And if that isn’t good enough, we’ll hire one of the girls to come and help you.’’ He accompanied Leah to a bed couch that had been recently delivered from Seattle, a wedding present from Karen’s relatives.

Leah stretched out. ‘‘Well, maybe I’ll rest for a little while. My feet have been swelling miserably of late, and this might do them some good.’’

Emma and Bjorn’s trip was delayed by several days when the ship developed some kind of problem with its steering. Helaina was grateful for the chance to spend more time in the small community. She thought perhaps the ship’s problems were divine providence—God himself intervening to give her time to change her mind.

Watching the village come to life under nearly continuous sun, Helaina remembered her time the previous summer. Jacob had been a hard taskmaster then, but he’d driven her only so that she might survive. He’d taught her much about the dogs and helped her adjust to life in such an isolated environment. She’d begun to learn the native language, although the natives wanted little to do with her, and she’d learned their culture. Jacob had reminded her over and over again that if she were to live in the village, it would serve her well to learn the ways of its people. Jacob had been right.

Now, however, he seemed just as focused on teaching Sigrid Johnsson. Helaina tried not to be jealous as she watched the couple. Jacob was showing Sigrid one of the dogs, and she was happily petting the animal as though it were her long lost friend.

Helaina couldn’t help but remember that she had been quite afraid of the beasts. They were so wild looking—especially the huskies with their intense dark-rimmed eyes. Helaina always felt she was being watched by those eyes. After a time she had come to enjoy the dogs. She loved the puppies, and once she lost her fear of the older dogs, they had come to trust her and love her as well.

Sigrid laughed and straightened. Helaina saw that Jacob seemed amused by the girl’s antics. Helaina envied Sigrid’s ability to balance her whimsical nature with her more academic and serious side. There was nothing playful in Helaina’s nature whatsoever. With a sigh, she walked away from the scene and berated her heart for its inability to be less attached to things from her past.

‘‘It will be all right,’’ she told herself. ‘‘Once I’m in New York, I won’t even think of this place. Jacob will be nothing more than a memory.’’ But she knew that was a lie, even as she spoke it. Glancing overhead to the icy blue skies, she sighed. ‘‘Lord, I don’t know how to get through this. I know Emma says you can see us through all adversity, but I’m more troubled by this than I even know how to pray about.’’

‘‘Helaina!’’ Emma called as she came hurrying up the path from the shore. ‘‘We leave with the tide. Bjorn was just given the word. We need to get our things together so the men can load our bags on the ship.’’

So this is my answer,
Helaina thought. She nodded and followed Emma home, but her heart was so heavy that it made each step more difficult than the previous one.
I’m leaving. I’m leaving Last
Chance and Jacob forever
.

Throughout the day, Helaina helped Emma make sure that they had everything they would need. Sigrid came home shortly after the news had been delivered about the departure. Helaina found she could hardly bear the woman’s company.

‘‘I am so looking forward to all the different foods,’’ Emma confessed. ‘‘I long for fried chicken, pork roast, and thick gravy.’’

Sigrid laughed. ‘‘You’ll be as round as a barrel when you return.’’

‘‘Yes, but because I won’t have a chance to go home again for some time, I’ll surely work it right back off.’’

Helaina helped to get Rachel’s little button-top boots secured, then smiled as the child attempted to dance around in them as she had her furry mukluks. She fell down several times as she tried to adapt to her aunt’s gift.

‘‘I don’t think she knows what to make of such shoes,’’ Emma said, laughing. ‘‘You were good to bring them to her, Sigrid. And the dress too. Now she won’t go to our parents looking like such a savage.’’

‘‘Mama wouldn’t care if she came naked as the day she was born,’’ Sigrid replied. ‘‘You know that very well. Besides, she has been sewing up a storm for the children and will have many outfits ready by the time you arrive. Never fear.’’

‘‘Oh, it will be so good to see family again.’’

Helaina felt a twinge of envy at the comment. She would see

Stanley in Washington, D.C., but once she went home to New York, there was no one save her household staff. No one would be there to care whether she might come or go. No one would chide her for staying out unreasonably late. Mrs. Hayworth, the housekeeper, would be happy to hear of Helaina’s new faith in God, but it wasn’t the same as having family waiting.

I should settle down and create my own family,
she thought as she gathered her own two bags. They’d already sent the Kjellmanns’ things to the ship, but Helaina had figured to take these herself. They were stuffed full of her native clothes and a few gifts from the villagers who’d finally befriended her. Somehow Helaina couldn’t bear to leave them behind.

‘‘Is everyone ready?’’ Bjorn asked as he came bounding through the door. His sons were on his heels.

‘‘We’re going, Mama. The captain is ready for us to board.’’ Bryce’s authoritative voice commanded attention.

‘‘Ja, I know,’’ Emma replied. ‘‘I am ready for us to board as well.’’

Helaina stepped from the house, unwilling to put herself through the tearful good-byes that Emma and Sigrid would share. She had hardly taken ten steps, however, when Jacob called her name.

She turned to find him coming toward her. Placing her bags on the ground, Helaina forced a smile. ‘‘So you’ve come to see us off?’’

He stopped about three feet from her and said nothing. Helaina thought he looked very much as though he’d like to say something, but he remained silent.

‘‘Is Leah feeling well this morning?’’ Helaina finally questioned. She couldn’t bear the tension between them. She feared if she didn’t keep the topic of conversation neutral, she might very well plead with Jacob to join her.