[Alaskan Quest 02] - Under the Northern Lights (19 page)

‘‘Look, I want to say something,’’ Leah began. She sat down, hoping Helaina would understand that this wasn’t just a quick, insincere comment. ‘‘I need to apologize for losing my temper this morning. I was wrong to do that.’’

Helaina looked up in surprise. ‘‘Were you also wrong to say the things you said?’’

Her tone seemed rather hard—almost smug, but Leah refused to let it put a damper on her newly found peace of mind. ‘‘No. I meant what I said this morning.’’ Helaina’s expression fell and Leah continued. ‘‘I spoke the truth.’’

‘‘Maybe your truth.’’ Helaina pushed back the plate and shook her head.

‘‘Truth is truth. You’re the one who believes the law is the law. Why should it be so hard to understand that it’s no different for truth?’’

‘‘Laws are established and written down. There is only one interpretation—one meaning.’’

‘‘Then why must there be judges—Supreme Courts to review the laws and the cases involving those laws?’’

‘‘Look, this isn’t about that. You called me names—said I was selfish and self-centered.’’

Leah easily remembered her words from the morning. ‘‘And your actions have proven to be such. You focus on yourself—not God or anyone else. I apologize for getting angry about it and saying things I might otherwise have kept to myself. But that’s all.’’

‘‘So this is about God. Just because I don’t believe the same things you believe, I’m wrong?’’

‘‘Helaina, I’m not here to condemn you. I don’t even want to argue with you.’’ Leah got to her knees. ‘‘But I hope someday you will understand that vengeance belongs to the Lord. You will never find satisfaction in your schemes for revenge—at least not the same kind of satisfaction you could find in belonging to someone who will never change—never disappoint.’’

‘‘How many times do I have to tell you or your brother, I’m not in this for revenge?’’

‘‘Do you suppose if you say that often enough, it will be true?’’ Leah didn’t wait for an answer. ‘‘Helaina, I wish you would truly consider the matter with an open heart. You want revenge for Stanley—for the pain caused him. You want revenge on Chase because he’s the one assignment that you’ve failed to fulfill. You couldn’t catch him. Just like you couldn’t keep your family from being killed.’’

Helaina gasped. ‘‘How dare you? You have no right to bring them into this.’’

‘‘Maybe not, but I think if you consider it, you’ll see the truth for yourself.’’ Leah got to her feet and moved to the door. ‘‘I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, but rather than worrying about yourself, I’d start thinking about poor Stanley. All he knows is that you’ve disappeared into the wilds of Alaska chasing after a madman. If the Pinkerton agents were able to get word to Washington from Nome, then Stanley will truly be grief-stricken. He won’t know if you’re dead or alive, but given Chase’s record, he’ll assume the worst. Instead of worrying about the one that got away, it might be good for you to remember those you still have.’’

Leah left Helaina to ponder her words and hoped that the younger woman would see and understand. Walking toward the fire, Leah met Jacob’s questioning expression.

‘‘Was she hungry?’’

Leah shrugged. ‘‘I don’t suppose she has her appetite back just yet.’’

‘‘What about you?’’

Leah sat down beside him. ‘‘I ate. It was quite good.’’

‘‘Are you feeling better now? You seem . . . well . . .’’

‘‘Less caustic?’’ she asked, throwing him a smile. ‘‘I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. This little adventure in my life has taken its toll. I’m ready to go home and be quiet. I’m still not myself, but I’m trying to regain some peace of mind.’’

‘‘God can give it to you, if you let Him.’’

Leah nodded. ‘‘But we’ve been at odds lately. I feel frustrated that He would allow all of this misery into my life. If He loves me, how can He allow me to suffer so much?’’ She genuinely wanted answers.

Jacob gazed into the fire. ‘‘But God didn’t spare His own Son misery and sorrow. Why would He spare us?’’ He turned toward his sister. ‘‘Look, I think that things happen—all things—for a reason. Those reasons are sometimes painful to deal with . . . to understand. I think, however, that it’s all a part of trusting God more. It’s easy to trust Him when things go right. Then your faith has no need to grow. Understand?’’

‘‘I think so. I guess I just didn’t want to grow that much.’’ She forced a smile. ‘‘So many times in my life, I’ve had to grow up before I felt I was ready. Like when Mama died, and then Papa died, or when Jayce refused my love. Now with all that’s happened, I feel that again I’ve been made to face things that I wasn’t ready for.’’

‘‘But God will take you through it. He will never leave you nor forsake you. The Bible says so. These problems are only momentary. They won’t last forever.’’

Leah nodded. ‘‘I know you’re right. I need to look forward to my future with Jayce instead of looking back at the sorrows of the past.’’

‘‘Exactly.’’ He shifted his position and suppressed a yawn. ‘‘Look, I’ve been thinking about that as well. I want you and Jayce to take the house. I’ll build a small place close by. It’d be nice if you’d still cook for me from time to time.’’ He gave her a rather pathetic look that suggested pleading.

Leah smiled. ‘‘You know I will, but we could surely work out something so that you don’t have to go building a house in the dead of winter.’’

‘‘Maybe I’ll stay with someone until spring.’’

‘‘You can stay with us,’’ Leah countered. ‘‘We can set up a room for you in the store. There’s plenty of room in there. So long as we learn to respect each other’s privacy, I don’t think there will be any problems.’’

‘‘Well, maybe until spring,’’ Jacob said, nodding. ‘‘You should know, though, I’ve actually thought about returning to Ketch-ikan.’’ ‘‘Why?’’ Leah was genuinely surprised by this statement.

‘‘Adrik asked me to consider it. He says there’s going to be a lot of new job opportunities. The government is going to pick up that plan to build a railroad to Fairbanks. They’ve already gotten started and have asked Adrik to come in and help them.’’

‘‘Help them do what?’’

‘‘Hunt for the workers, mainly. I think he’ll also help with the natives.’’

‘‘But he’s Tlingit and Russian,’’ Leah replied. ‘‘The railroad will go into Athabascan country.’’

‘‘I know, but Adrik said he has friends there and feels he can offer help as an interpreter. He suggested I come and take care of the homestead in Ketchikan or even come work with him.’’

Leah considered this for a moment. ‘‘It’s hard to imagine you leaving Last Chance.’’

‘‘Well, I haven’t completely decided. Captain Latimore still wants our help with the Arctic exploration. I wouldn’t mind giving that a chance either. I know Jayce is still very interested. We talked about it on the trail.’’

‘‘I guess I hadn’t thought about either of you leaving.’’

‘‘You were invited as well.’’

Leah shook her head and reached her hands out to the flames. ‘‘I’ve had enough excitement to last a lifetime. I don’t want any more.’’

For several minutes, Jacob said nothing. ‘‘What happened out there? With Chase?’’

Leah swallowed hard. The old feelings tried to creep in, and she closed her eyes. ‘‘Please don’t ask me.’’ Her voice was barely audible. ‘‘I can’t talk about it. Not now—maybe never.’’

Chapter Seventeen

J
ayce managed to get Chase into the tent before the wind picked up and the temperature dropped. He carefully arranged his brother’s injured frame, then went to work melting snow for water.

The weather threatened more snow, and Jayce worried about finding his way back to the village at which they’d stopped. He’d seen no other sign of civilization and given Chase’s desperate state, this furthered his concern. For all he knew there could be a village just over the next hill, but then again, he might head off in the wrong direction and be hundreds of miles from any kind of help.

As Chase’s body began to thaw, he started to move and then to moan. Jayce moved to his side with a bit of melted water and one of his old shirts. He ripped the shirt into strips that he could use to dress Chase’s wounds. The only problem was that there were many cuts.

‘‘Chase, can you hear me?’’

His brother’s head moved, but he didn’t open his swollen eyes. Jayce took one of the strips and dipped it in the water. He touched the cloth to Chase’s bloodied lips, hoping to trickle a little of the clean water into his mouth.

‘‘Chase. It’s me, Jayce. I’m trying to help you, but you need to wake up.’’

With a tenderness he didn’t truly feel, Jayce lifted Chase’s head ever so slightly. How could this man have gone so wrong in his life? How could he have forsaken the training and upbringing of good people to live a life of crime and murderous hate?

‘‘Chase, I’m going to give you a little water.’’ He squeezed the cloth onto his twin’s lips. Some of the water ran into his bloodied beard, but a little made it inside.

Lowering Chase back to the pallet, Jayce began to tend the wounds. All the while he talked to his brother.

‘‘I don’t know why it had to come to this. It seems such a senseless waste of a life. You were always clever and good with mastering skills when they were of interest to you.’’

Jayce felt certain the nasty rips in Chase’s face and upper body were made by a bear. Perhaps it had been Leah’s rogue bear or one of the Arctic polar bears wandering inland. If it was Leah’s bear, he would have been wounded and more dangerous. He would most likely attack without provocation. Chase would have only had a knife with which to defend himself. The fight would have definitely been unevenly matched, even if the bear was injured.

The water bloodied in the bowl rather quickly, and Jayce found himself in a dilemma. If he tossed it outside, it might attract the killer bear to join them. If not the bear, then perhaps wolves would be attracted to the scent. On the other hand, Jayce hadn’t brought a lot of supplies and utensils with him. The bowl was much needed and Chase required more care.

Jayce finally decided he had no choice. He braved the wind and cold to walk some twenty yards from the tent. He carried the bowl and lantern in one hand while balancing his rifle with the other. He wasn’t about to take a chance that the bear was still in the vicinity, just waiting.

The night was amazingly quiet. Only the wind offered any sound across the frozen tundra. The skies were heavy with clouds. No stars. No moon. Yet Jayce’s thoughts were focused solely on his situation: He was in an unfamiliar area of the territory and his brother was fighting to live. Neither of them were in a good position. Jayce still needed to figure a way back to civilization, and Chase . . . well, as best Jayce could tell, Chase was dying.

‘‘But you were coming here to take him to his death anyway,’’ Jayce spoke to the silent landscape. ‘‘Isn’t it better to see him die here than wait for him to be hanged?’’ There was no comfort in such thinking; what Jayce really wished could never be. He would trade most everything he had to see the years turned back and his brother’s heart remade. ‘‘But that isn’t going to happen. This is the life we have chosen. He chose his way, and I chose mine. It can’t be undone now.’’

He made his way back to the tent and refilled the bowl before sitting back down at Chase’s side. His brother lay very still. Jayce wasn’t even sure he was breathing. He put his hand on Chase’s chest and felt the very shallow rise and fall. At least he was still alive.

But to what purpose? Jayce felt almost torn in nursing his brother’s wounds. He felt certain that without the medical attention of a doctor, Chase would most likely not make it through the night. It seemed heartless to pick and prod at his wounds. Even as Jayce contemplated this, Chase began to stir and then to cough.

Jayce heard him make a gurgling sound and rolled Chase slightly to his side. Blood poured from his mouth, causing Jayce to jump back a bit, while Chase struggled to regain consciousness. His eyes opened slowly. They were lifeless dark pits that seemed to see nothing.

Jayce put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. ‘‘Chase, it’s me. It’s Jayce. You’ve been wounded.’’ He helped Chase ease back on the pallet. ‘‘Can you hear me?’’

‘‘I . . . do.’’ The words were barely audible.

The wind picked up, blowing fiercely against the tent. Jayce was glad for the small refuge but couldn’t help wishing he could close his eyes and wake up in another place—another life. He suddenly hated where this one had taken him.

‘‘You’ve been attacked by something. You’re in bad shape.’’

‘‘I . . . know.’’

‘‘I’ll make you some tea in a minute,’’ Jayce said as he went back to tending Chase’s face. ‘‘These cuts are very deep. I’ll have to make a salve for them and see if we can keep the bleeding from starting up again. The head wounds are the worst. Whatever got you seems to have chewed on your head.’’

‘‘Bear.’’ Chase looked Jayce in the eyes. ‘‘Big bear.’’

Jayce nodded. ‘‘Leah said there was one moving around.’’

Chase tried to smile, but it looked most macabre. ‘‘Leah safe?’’

Jayce was surprised by the question. ‘‘Yes. She and Helaina met us on the trail. Jacob and some of the men from the village took them home.’’

‘‘Not you.’’

It wasn’t really a question, but Jayce felt as though Chase were asking why he hadn’t gone with them. ‘‘I had to find you. You knew we’d come for you.’’

Chase closed his eyes and drew a couple of wheezing breaths. Jayce set aside the bowl of water and went to the stove. He made a cup of strong tea and tested the temperature. He worried that it would be too hot for Chase to handle and went to the tent flap to retrieve some snow. He only opened the very bottom of the flap to keep the cold from stealing away the warmth. Stretching out, he grabbed a handful of snow and quickly plopped it into the cup. The tea sloshed over the sides, burning Jayce’s hand momentarily. The pain caused him to remember Leah. There was so much he wanted to know—needed to know. How had Chase hurt her? What had he done and said that left her so devastated?

Jayce secured the flap and came back to Chase. His brother had opened his eyes again and watched him intently. ‘‘I have tea. I’ll help you sit up a bit. It should help to relax you.’’