Alaskan Exposure (4 page)

Her hip pushed to one side and she looked up at him with
flashing eyes. “How many times a cruise do you ask a woman this same thing?”

He was caught between annoyance over her question and lust
over how gorgeous she was. “Look if you don’t want to see me socially, just say
no.”

“You’re angry.” She lowered the coat and her shoulders
slumped. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to this kind of thing. I don’t have casual
affairs. In fact I don’t have any kind of affairs.”

What was it about this woman? She obviously thought the
worst of him, yet he couldn’t help wanting to know her better. If he was really
honest, he’d admit he wanted to change her opinion of him.

“I didn’t say anything about an affair. I don’t even know
you. I’m attracted to you and I think you are attracted to me. I hoped we could
have a drink together and talk. That’s all.” His words came out more vehemently
than he’d intended.

She hiked her camera bag up and clutched the coat tighter.
“You’re the kind of guy who has a lot of women fawning over you.”

He opened his mouth to contradict her, but she held up a
hand to stop him.

“And rightfully so. You’re very good-looking. You have an
exciting job and you’re extremely charming. I get it. I’m just not the kind of
girl who ends up a notch on some sailor’s belt.”

“Your opinion of me is not really flattering.”

“It’s not a matter of my opinion. I’m not judging you. I
just don’t have casual sex.”

“I asked you on a date. I didn’t say anything about sex.
You’re the one who mentioned affairs and sex.”

Her eyebrows rose. “You don’t want to have sex with me?” She
sounded concerned.

He almost laughed. “I didn’t say that. Any man would want to
have sex with you and I’m not a monk.”

She burst out laughing. “I’m sure that you’re not. In fact
I’m sure you have a few women a day giving you their stateroom numbers.”

As crazy as it was, he wished he could contradict her. “And
you assume that I always take them up on it.”

She shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t
assume anything.”

“Okay, you don’t trust me. I get it. Let me earn your trust.
Meet me in the Constellation Lounge at ten thirty. If you don’t show, I’ll see
that any further tours you require are given by someone less likely to offend
you.”

He couldn’t help being angry as he walked away. She acted as
if he was sleeping with half the ship. Not that he hadn’t had his share of
onboard flings—as he said, he was no monk. He had no idea why he was so intent
about getting to know Charley Ballantine. She was not at all his type. He knew
she wasn’t the kind of woman who he could sleep with for the length of the
cruise and then watch walk away. He also knew, that was the only way any kind
of relationship could end.

* * * * *

It was possibly the longest twelve-hour shift of his life.
By the time he got off duty, his concentration was completely screwed up with
wondering if Charley would show up or not. He showered, dressed and headed for
the lounge.

He’d always liked this part of the cruise liner. It sat
forward, looking where they were going. At night, only darkness lay ahead, but
even then, the room held mystery in its soft jazz music and high backlit
ceiling. It was rarely crowded but had a nice bar and a comfortable feel to it.

Kyle sat at one end of the bar. Since he was off duty, he
was not in uniform. It was a formal dinner night on the ship. He wore black
trousers and a blue shirt, no tie and no jacket. He was buttoned up in uniform
most of the time. It was nice, when off duty, to be comfortable.

The bartender spoke with a thick Zimbabwean accent. “Hello,
Kyle. What can I get for you?”

“Just a glass of water for now, John.” There was no sense in
getting comfortable if she didn’t show up.

John returned a moment later with a bottle of water and a
glass with ice. He twisted the plastic cap and poured before setting it down.

“Thanks,” Kyle said.

John nodded and walked off to help another guest.

At 10:35 p.m. he was sure she was not going to show up. He
got up from the barstool and was about to say goodnight to John, when he
spotted her. She’d just entered the room and scanned until her eyes lighted on
him. She didn’t smile but she didn’t look disappointed either. He waited and
watched as she crossed the room. The black dress clung to her gentle curves.
The halter top tied behind her neck and left a deep V between her breasts.

Kyle’s mouth watered. He had to force himself to stay put
and not run across the room as if he were a schoolboy on his first date. She
passed the dance floor and climbed the three steps to the landing where he
waited. She didn’t meet his eyes.

“I didn’t think you were going to come.”

She looked around the room, anywhere but at him. “I wasn’t.”

“So why did you?”

Then those stunning eyes locked with his. “I don’t know.
Maybe curiosity. Plus, I seemed to insult you this morning and I didn’t mean
to.”

He ignored her attempt at an apology. “Would you care for a
drink?”

John was already standing and waiting for an order. She
smiled at the bartender. “Merlot?”

“Very good, madam. Kyle?”

“The same, John. Thanks.”

Lightly taking her elbow, he led her to a low table and two
lounge chairs in the farthest forward arch of the glass wall. They were
surrounded by glass on two sides and could only see a slight glimmer of light
on the ocean. He slid his chair over so that they sat very close together. The
music started, slow, soft jazz filled the room, and John brought the wine.

“I’m really glad you came.”

She sipped at her wine. A drop of the rich, red liquid
stayed a second on her bottom lip. He almost leaned forward and licked it off.
The tip of her pink tongue slipped between her lips and wiped the drop away.
His cock responded immediately.

“I actually went with Jules to the martini bar first. I
debated for fifteen minutes before finally deciding.”

“I’m that terrible?”

“No,” she answered quickly. Then she smiled, and he couldn’t
help smiling too. “I’m the kind of girl who works hard all day, goes home, puts
on her sweatpants and watches television or reads a book until I go to bed
alone.”

“And you don’t think that I would be interested in that kind
of girl.” He was getting angry again. His neck grew hotter.

She leaned over and touched his arm. Somehow, that calmed
him. “I think you like women who know what they are getting into.”

“At the moment you and I are having a drink, Charley. Why do
you have to make it more complicated than that?”

She shrugged. The movement lifted her chest and the fabric
of her dress slipped to one side revealing the swell of full round breast and
no bra. He had to adjust his seat to stay comfortable and keep her from seeing
his condition. Since he was trying to convince Charley he wasn’t a dog, it
wouldn’t bode well to have her see that everything about her gave him a boner.

“It’s always more complicated.”

He smiled at the truth of her statement. “Why don’t we talk
about something else.”

“Okay.”

“When did you start taking pictures?”

Her eyes got a faraway look. “I can’t remember my childhood
without a camera in my hands.”

“Really, that young?”

“I had an Aunt Marva, actually she was my father’s aunt. She
gave me a little 35mm camera when I was seven. I think she felt sorry for me.”

“Why?”

Her gaze fell on him for a long, silent moment. “Why am I
telling you any of this?”

“Because I asked and I really want to know.”

Slowly, she sipped her wine. He thought she was going to
change the subject or stop talking entirely. The moments dragged and he was
tempted to pressure her to say more. But she was like a skittish cat, spook her
too much and she’d run under the furniture and never come out.

“My parents fought a lot. I think she hoped that taking
pictures would be an escape for me. She was right. I took that little camera
everywhere and photographed the most mundane things. Every couple of weeks Aunt
Marva would come by and bring me more film and take my photos to get developed.
She was really encouraging about the good shots. By the time I was nine or ten,
I started to be more discerning about what I took pictures of and how the light
hit things. I longed for her approval.”

“Did your parents look at your stuff?” He had a knot in the
middle of his chest, imagining a small red-haired child working so hard to get
approval.

A deep sigh lifted her chest. “Once in a while.”

“And your aunt, did she continue to process your pictures?”

Charley nodded and a sad smile curled her lips. “Until I was
twelve. That’s when Aunt Marva died. After that, I had to find ways to make
money. I had a paper route. When I was a little older, I babysat. I even made
enough to buy a decent camera and take a few courses. It was the perfect world
for me, inside the lens.”

“And you’ve been taking beautiful pictures ever since?”

Those shapely shoulders lifted and fell. He itched to touch
those curves and see if they were as soft and warm as they looked.

“I took a long break from photography when I was married. I
just started again last year.”

“Why was that?”

The sorrow he saw in those eyes and the way her bottom lip
puffed out in a pout made him want to kiss away whatever memories haunted her.

She looked around the bar and then at him. Uncomfortable was
the best way to describe the way she shifted in the soft chair. “I’m sure you
have an early morning tomorrow and I have to figure out where I need to be and
when to get the best shots.”

She was uncurling from the chair. He put his hand over her
forearm, delaying her sprint. “Why are you running away from me? What did I
say? I thought we were having a nice conversation and getting to know each
other.”

Charley settled back into her seat and placed her other hand
over his, giving it a squeeze. Her expression softened and her lips turned up.
“We were. I really appreciate the drink and the chat. You’ve made me feel very
comfortable. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone about my first camera. It’s
been nice. But sooner or later you’ll want to have sex and I…”

“You what?”

“I’m undecided.” Her blush and smile were all it took to
keep him firmly planted in the chair. Her response of undecided was not the
“never happen” he’d been expecting.

He felt the corners of his mouth pull up in spite of the
fact that his plan was to convince her that he wanted more than just sex. His
gut tightened. When had wanting more than sex become a fact and not a line?
Suddenly her opinion of him mattered more than anything. “Because you think I’m
the kind of man who hooks up with a new woman on every cruise.”

She touched his arm again and heat shot directly to his
groin in spite of his good intentions.

She kept the contact. “Why wouldn’t you? You’re
good-looking, single and at sea. I get it. I’m just not sure I want to be part
of a long list of women.”

Once again, she’d managed to spark his temper. What was it
about her opinion, why did it matter? “Don’t go. Stay. We’ll talk about other
things. I’ll tell you about me.”

Her head cocked to one side and she squeezed his arm before
removing her hand and sipping her wine. Settling back into her chair, she
asked. “What are your parents like?”

He wondered what it would take to get her to touch him
again. Even the innocent gesture of her hand on his arm had turned him on, and
he instantly missed the connection. “My father owns a marketing firm and my
mother is a real estate agent. They are both past retirement age but have no
intentions of slowing down. They take two months off every year to travel.
Usually they book on one of my cruises for a week or two. My sister comes along
sometimes too. It’s a family vacation.”

“But you’re the only one who has to work.”

“I don’t mind. I love what I do.”

“How long will you be on this ship?”

“I’m about halfway through a six month contract.”

“But this is the last trip to Alaska this year. Where does
it go after this?”

“The Panama Canal.”

Her eyes lit up with excitement. “That must be a fun trip.”

“It is. Mexico, Guatemala, Costa Rica and
Columbia. It’s a beautiful cruise. You should come along.”

He knew he’d made a mistake as soon as he said it. God only
knew what that fertile mind of hers was conjuring.

“I should go.” She started to stand.

He pressed her thigh back down in the upholstered chair.
Touching her so intimately had him hard in an instant. “Don’t. I didn’t mean it
the way you took it. I’m just passionate about seeing the world. I think you
would love the sights and sounds of Latin America.”

She finished her glass of wine. “Look, you’re a nice guy,
Kyle. I can see that you are trying to be charming and put me at ease. You’re
doing a great job. I like you. I may even want to have sex with you. The
problem is, if I did, I would wake up tomorrow with nothing but regrets. I’m
not a good candidate for this.” She pointed to the space between the two of
them. “You’re wasting your time with me.”

Kyle tried his best to hear everything she’d said. But once
she admitted that she wanted to have sex with him, his cock started to do his
thinking for him. That made his next words even harder to say. “Then don’t have
sex with me.”

The expression on her face told him that she knew he was
bluffing. “No? What, are we just going to be friends then?”

Leaning in very close he spoke directly into her ear. “If
that’s what you want, Charley, I can be a very good friend.”

Her nipples pressed against the fabric of her dress. His
breath on the sensitive skin of her earlobe and neck sent a shiver of
excitement through her. At that moment she wished she could be bolder, like
Jules. Her friend would have had no problem going to bed with the gorgeous
first officer.

“I don’t believe you.” Her voice was breathy and when she
turned to look at him, his mouth was only a centimeter from hers.

He didn’t move away. His bright blue eyes seemed to get
smoky and she wondered if it was desire brewing within him that made them darken.
She couldn’t take her gaze away from him.

“I think we would make very good friends, Charley. You can
tell me everything that’s happening in your life and I will listen and give my
opinion. I’ll share my stories too and we will spend time together.” His
fingers traced the line of her jaw. “I’m not saying that I will stop wanting to
fuck you, just that we will be friends.”

Her heart drummed loudly and when he said “fuck” all she
could think about was his hard body pressed against hers. Her imagination had
gone wild. She squeezed her legs together, hoping to relieve some of her
arousal, but it only made it more acute. “Friends don’t fuck.”

The smile that spread across his face sent a quiver to every
nerve in her body. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt that alive.

“Of course they do, but if that’s not what you want, we
won’t.” He paused for an exaggerated moment. “Though, I do love to hear you say
that word. It makes me wonder how other dirty words would sound coming out of
that pretty mouth.”

It was inevitable that when he said it, she started thinking
of dirty words and the circumstances of when she might say them to Kyle. That
in turn, made her nipples ache to be touched and other places too. “I don’t
think you are capable of being just my friend.”

His handsome face remained only a fraction of an inch from
hers. “Of course I am, Charley. The question is, are you?”

“Why do you say it that way?”

The bartender delivered two more glasses of wine. She’d been
so nervous about meeting Kyle that she’d eaten very little at dinner. Then
Jules had talked her into a martini before she decided to go to the
Constellation Lounge. She was already starting to feel the effects but she used
taking a large gulp of wine as an excuse to move further away from him.

He leaned back. “Because I think you very much want to make
love with me. I think you have some moral code that you believe I don’t fit in
to and that’s why you keep insulting me. Then, when I get angry and leave you
alone, you can pretend it was me who backed off and not you pushing me away
over some bit of nonsense.”

“Morality is nonsense?” She’d inadvertently leaned over the
arms of the two chairs.

Kyle slid his hand through her hair and gripped the back of
her head firmly but gently. “I don’t have any issues with morality that keeps
people from hurting or disrespecting each other.”

She could clearly see the passion burning in his eyes. She
tried to say something but he was so close and so intimately holding her gaze
that she only opened her mouth and closed it again.

His eyes lowered to her lips for a moment before returning.
He ran the index finger of his other hand along her jaw to her chin. “This
misguided morality that keeps you from letting me worship you in bed, I take
little stock in. I want you, Charley. I even like you and I think you want me
too. Why do you have to make it about morals? Have you ever just lived for the
moment?”

“I… No.”

He lowered his eyes again but released his grip on her,
allowing her hair to slide through his fingers. “Maybe you should try it
sometime.”

He didn’t move away and neither did she. It was as if she
was attached to him by a tether and couldn’t escape his allure. “I don’t want
to get hurt.”

“If you never take any risks then nothing extraordinary will
ever happen to you.”

She couldn’t argue with that. Her entire life up until a
year ago was a testament to that. She wouldn’t even be on the ship if she
hadn’t risked everything and opened her studio. “And you think you’re a risk
worth taking?”

He gave a half smile and leaned so close that his mouth
touched her ear. “I want to make you come so hard you scream my name and then I
want to do it again.”

Her breath caught in her throat. She should slap his face
and tell him to go to hell, but all she wanted to do was tear his clothes off
and touch him and let him touch her. Her body betrayed her. His words shot
directly to her pussy. She was wet. She wanted to touch herself, have him touch
her. A woman cackled several tables over, reminding her they were in public.

His lips lightly grazed her lobe, and she sucked in a breath
and held it. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He pulled back so that she could see his eyes again. “Yes, I
did.”

Breathing had become difficult with him so close and so
sexually charged. “Okay.”

“Okay?” There was no doubt that he was surprised maybe
confused. He stared into her eyes as if looking for some clue to her meaning
other than the obvious.

“Yes.” The word came out on a breath. She couldn’t believe
what she was saying and yet she didn’t want to take it back. Her body was rigid
with need. She wanted to be touched and worshiped. If it was all an illusion
then she was willing to kid herself for a few hours.

He took her hand and stood while helping her up. He might
have waved to the bartender as they walked toward the exit, but she was too
surprised by the fact that she’d just agreed to have sex with Kyle to really
pay attention.

Pulling her into the elevator, he punched the button for
deck nine.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

He slid behind her and tugged her until she was pressed
fully against him. “To see the stateroom you’ve been so curious about.”

She could feel his hard cock nestled between the cheeks of
her ass. She couldn’t help pushing tighter to feel him more fully. His big
hands gripped her hips. The elevator stopped. He moved her slightly away and
dropped his hands. A couple got on and smiled politely. The doors closed again,
they climbed one more deck and the doors opened. They all stepped out. The
couple moved off to the left, Kyle took her hand and led her to the right, down
a long hall and to a door where he used a keycard to gain access.

The room was just slightly bigger than the one she and Jules
shared. It was neat with a large king-sized bed in the middle. “You don’t have
a roommate?” She hated the slight shake in her voice.

He pointed to his uniform, neatly hanging on the outside of
the closet door. “Four stripes and above get private quarters.”

She looked at the epaulettes on the shoulder of his uniform
and at the large bed. What was she doing here? She must have lost her mind. Yet
she wanted him, there was no doubt about that. Every time she looked at his
broad shoulders she wanted to touch him. Her heart pounded and blood rushed
through her ears.

He stayed close, but as soon as they entered the room, he
dropped her hand. Watching her, he slipped the top button on his shirt out of
the buttonhole. She detected just a hint of dark hair on his chest.

He walked a step closer. She took a step back and found
herself trapped between the end of the bed and Kyle’s body. “Do you want to
leave?” he asked.

The question surprised her. His voice was soft and sweet.
She expected him to jump on top of her as soon as they entered his room, but he
ran is fingers lightly up and down her arms. He watched her, and she wondered
what he was looking for. She could barely breathe but she managed to squeak out
a question. “Do you want me to go?”

“No, Charley. I told you what I want, but you look
terrified.”

“I’m sorry. I haven’t done this in a while.” She tried to relax,
putting her stiff arms on his narrow hips.

His touch tightened and brought her imperceptibly closer,
but it was enough to press her body to his.

She tried to keep from trembling in his arms. His body heat
infused her skin and her nipples pressed uncomfortably against the fabric of
her dress. Even in her arousal, she questioned the wisdom of an affair. Kyle
being a man who likely had women begging to go to bed with him daily was
compounded by all the things her ex-husband had drilled into her head. She didn’t
want to embarrass herself.

It was a mistake. She knew it before she’d come, yet she was
here in the stateroom of a merchant marine who’d probably fucked a thousand
different women and never had a regret in his life.

“You don’t have to be here.”

“Damn.” Pushing him slightly away, she sat down on the end
of the bed.

Kyle sat down next to her. Taking her hand in his, he kissed
the knuckles. “I’m sorry. I bullied you. Of course you don’t want to be here.”

Why did he have to be so sweet? If he’d gotten angry or
offended, she could get up and walk away knowing she’d made the right choice.

His lips, even on that innocent part of her skin, were a
torch that sent heat to her entire body and settled deliciously between her
legs. “Oh, I want to, I’m just too much of a coward to go through with it. I
should never have come. I’ve made you uncomfortable and embarrassed myself.”

Charley leaned over and put her head in her hands. She
wished she could crawl under the bed and away from his beautiful blue eyes.
Once again, she wished she were more like Jules.

“Look at me.”

Sitting up, she did as he said.

One side of his mouth turned up in that sexy half smile.
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Maybe my friend Jules can make it up to you. She wouldn’t
have any problems with this kind of an affair.”

His eyebrows rose. “Would she have a problem with you
selling her as compensation?”

Her face burned with a renewed blush. “Oh shit. Yes. Well,
maybe not, but it’s still not the nicest idea I’ve ever had.”

They both laughed.

He touched her cheek. “She is very pretty, but I don’t want
Jules. I want you, Charley.”

When he leaned forward and his lips touched hers, she melted
into his kiss. Instead of escalating her fears, his mouth wiped them from her
mind. His lips were soft and firm at the same time. The kiss was sweet and
demanding. His tongue traced a path along the seam of her lips begging entry.
Charley softened her mouth and let him in.

She couldn’t stop the moan that ground out of her chest as
their tongues met. He swirled playfully inside her mouth and she responded
edging closer. His arms slipped around her pulling her tight. One caressed her
back while the other combed through her hair and gripped her skull.

Her pussy ached for relief. “Kyle…” She wanted to tell him
what she needed but the words stuck in her throat.

He kissed her chin, cheek and jaw, each time sliding back to
make love to her lips. “Charley?”

“Hmm?”

“If you really want to leave, now would be the time to do
it.”

“No.”

The one-word plea stopped him dead. She opened her eyes and
watched as his passion warred with his next words. His breath came hard, and
when she looked lower she could see his cock pressing against the fly of his
trousers. “No to this, or no to leaving?”

For the first time in her life, she made a decision that was
not the safe one. She moved her hand to rest lightly on his shaft, felt it jerk
beneath her fingers and traced a path from the tip to the base through the soft
fabric.

Kyle’s breath came out as a hiss. He didn’t move, only watched
her other hand join the first and fumble with his button and zipper until she
pulled it down. A pair of black boxer-briefs was all that stood between her
hands and the hard, hot flesh of his cock.

She looked from his bulging crotch to his impassioned eyes.
“I never do this kind of thing.”

“I know.” His lips pressed to hers and nipped at her bottom
lip. One strong hand slid behind her neck and tugged at the bow of material
that secured the halter top of her dress. It came apart easily, exposing her
braless breasts to him. His hand immediately covered one. His fingers grazed
the nipple and she moaned deeply as the sensations shot directly to her pussy.

Her head dropped back and her chest pressed forward giving
him better access to her sensitive skin.

He lowered his head and sucked one nipple into his warm
mouth. Charley didn’t think she could be more turned on, but his mouth set her
on fire. She would have given him anything at that moment. His delicious tongue
and the gentle tugging of his lips washed all her doubts away.

Her hands went to his shoulders and gripped with more force
than she intended. If Kyle noticed her deathlike grip, he didn’t say anything.
His tongue swirled around the areola and then he blew on the wet skin. She
gasped as her nipple tightened further and the sensation shot directly to the
place between her legs.

She felt the slide of the back zipper as he eased it down to
the swell of her ass. His fingers felt along that crease, slid under one cheek
and lifted her. Then her dress slipped down under her hips and legs, to puddle
on the carpet.

Kyle pulled away and looked from her flushed face to the
tiny thong triangle that covered her soaked pussy. Then his eyes lowered to the
black thigh-high stockings and four-inch heels. “My god, Charley. You’re the
most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

She didn’t know what to say. Her face burned hot with
embarrassment at being so exposed to a man she’d only met the day before. But
god help her, she didn’t want him to stop.

He saved her the trouble. “Lie back for me.”

She hesitated.

“Trust me.”

She did as he asked, while scooting back so that her legs
and feet were on the bed. He leaned down and slid her shoes off letting them
drop.