Against All Odds (39 page)

I feel the swell of panic setting in as I wait for the doctor. The nurses have drawn blood, taken a urine sample, and hooked Kylie up to IV fluids. She’s resting, and a dainty purr sneaks past her lips. I’m barely hanging in there. I hate hospitals. This hospital in particular holds nightmarish memories for both of us. The smells swirling through the room burn my air way, toxically filling my lungs with hideous fumes that compress my chest, and make it hard to take a full breath. The only thing keeping me from jetting out of here is my wife, bundled up and feeling like shit. Every second feels like an hour. The thought that something could be seriously wrong is eating at my stomach, causing pain to shoot through my core. The ticking monitors have me on edge.

With a light tap on the door, Cali swaggers in. Her face radiates concern for her friend. “Hey. Any word yet?”

“None. We’re still waiting.”

“How long can they take?” she mutters, annoyed. “I mean, you’ve been here almost an hour already.”

“I know. He should be in any minute.”

“What’s wrong with her, Cooper?” Her brows furrow as she strokes Kylie’s hair. “I’ve never seen her like this.”

I wish I knew. We stay silent, staring at the woman we love. We’re both anxious, and fear whirls around us, threatening to pull us under. The door opens again, and I swing my head around, thinking it’s the doctor. I meet eyes that ask if it’s okay to come in. I nod, and the door closes quietly behind Grayson.

“How’s she doing?” he asks, his voice low and compassionate.

“She’s okay,” I say. “Waiting on the physician to grace us with his presence.”

Grayson nods. My pulse spikes as I watch him closely. He looks at Cali, and she moves away, allowing him closer to Kylie. He leans over and places a soft kiss on her forehead. I watch his eyes close, and he shifts to whisper in her ear. My fists clench as I try to stay calm, reminding myself that he’s family and he knows he can’t have her. They’ve been apart for months. He’s just happy to see her.

Kylie stirs. “Gray,” she croaks, her voice rough from sleep.

“Hi, sweet cheeks.” He smiles and runs his fingers through her hair and across her cheek.

With his intimate touch, I feel my possessiveness swell. I try to contain it, but I can’t. I can’t stand here and watch him put his hands on her as if they’re old lovers. “That’s enough. Get your hands off her.”

Grayson startles and puts up his hands, stepping back from Kylie. I stare at him, relaying just what I think of him touching my wife. He nods, letting me know he gets it.

“Cooper,” Kylie chides. A worried frown plays on her face. “Not now, okay? Please?”

I move over to her and take her hand. I don’t want to make this situation any worse. Taking a deep breath, I try to relax. I smile a strained smile and lean toward her. “Okay, I’m sorry. I can’t help it.”

She smiles against my cheek and tilts her head to look at me. “I know.” Her eyes light up at my need for her.

She likes it. It’s such a satisfying feeling, knowing she likes being mine.

“Just chill for right now,” she says.

I nod and kiss her gently then look at Gray and Cali who are staring at us. I clear my throat, feeling like a jackass for getting so pissed. “Sorry.”

Grayson smiles slightly and shakes his head. “It’s good to see you two are doing so well.”

“We’re doing really well,” Kylie says, smiling at him.

They give each other another intimate look that sets my heart ablaze. It’s hard to forget that they know each other almost as well as Kylie and I do. They have a bond, a connection.

Gray clears his throat and swallows as he looks at us. “That’s great. It’s how it was supposed to be.” His voice is low and painful. He misses her. I can tell by the way his shoulders sag and his face tenses.

I look at Kylie, and she stares at him with a sad expression. I wish there was nothing between them. Standing in the same room with them is hard. It brings back all the anguish I’ve felt thinking about them together.

Cali breaks the awkward silence. “Anyone want anything while we wait?”

We all say no and sit, waiting for this asshole to show up. Just as I perch myself on the corner of Kylie’s bed, the door swings open. In strides a middle-aged man in a white coat, holding a clip board.

“Hey, folks. Sorry for the delay. We had an emergency we had to attend to.” He smiles.

We mutter hello to the doctor.

He looks at Gray and Cali. “I need to check on your friend. Why don’t you guys go wait in the waiting room, and I’ll send a nurse out to get you.”

“No, that’s okay,” Kylie says. “They’re basically family.”

I close my eyes, trying to keep my cool. She’s mine, and Grayson being here is just like old times.
Let it go, Cooper. Let it the fuck go.

“Are you sure?” the doctor asks. “I have some news you may want privacy for.”

Kylie swallows, and my blood rushes frantically through my veins. Dread sets in, and I feel my throat closing.

“What’s going on?” I ask anxiously.

The doctor’s eyes land on Kylie. “You sure you don’t want your friends to leave? You might want a moment with your husband alone.”

“You’re scaring me,” Kylie whispers.

“No, don’t be scared.” He smiles. “Let me check you out real quick, and then we’ll go over your blood work.”

I move off the bed and give him room. The tension in the room is palpable. Gray’s foot taps, and Cali looks pale and sick. After a couple of extremely nervous minutes he moves over and looks at his clip board. I amble back over to Kylie and take her hand, wanting to be there to reassure her. My breathing becomes unsteady as my nerves move past my control. Fear streams through me as morbid thoughts whip through my head, haunting me.

The doctor looks up and smiles. “Well, you came in highly dehydrated. You definitely have a nasty virus.” He flips through her chart. “Your blood work shows something else is causing vomiting though. When a person gets dehydrated, the body responds by making an already sick person worse. It’ll intensify the nausea, so to speak. We’re giving you fluids, and that should help to reset your system. I’ll send you home with some anti-nausea meds. The good news is you’re dehydrated and have a nasty flu bug, but otherwise, you’re fine.” He clears his throat and looks at Kylie. “But I think the vomiting is going to stick around for some time because you’re pregnant. Your blood work shows that you’re around six weeks along.”

I blink rapidly. Unsure if I just heard what I did. Kylie gasps, and Cali whispers, “Oh my God.” Grayson stays completely still, his foot no longer tapping.

“I’m sorry, can you say that again?” I ask, my voice rife with disbelief.

The doctor raises a brow. “Your wife’s six weeks pregnant. She has a virus, but it’s been exasperated by the pregnancy, which is the cause for the excessive nausea. She’ll be fine. We just need to control the vomiting, rehydrate her, and wait for the virus to pass. Once that happens, we can get her some prenatal care.”

Kylie looks as though she’s about to throw up. Her eyes flip to mine, and fear flares in them. I’m so taken aback that I’m not sure what to think. I’m not sure if this is good news. Flashes of the horror we’ve been through speed through my mind like the frantic click of a camera flash. I don’t hear anything but the rushing in my ears. Everything around me closes in as I see my dead daughter in my arms.

“She can’t be pregnant. She’s on birth control,” I blurt, looking at Kylie. “Right?”

She takes a deep breath as tears drip down her cheeks, and she shakes her head.

“Right?” I whisper, desperately my eyes boring into hers.

Her throat moves up and down as she swallows. “No, I guess I wasn’t. I can’t remember, but I think my shot expired two months ago.”

“Kylie,” I exhale, dragging my hand over my face.

“Let’s give these two a minute,” the doctor says, breaking through our haze.

Cali comes over and smiles, touching Kylie’s cheek. “Everything’s going to be okay. This is good news.” She looks at me. “Relax, Cooper. Your girl’s giving you a baby. We’ll work through this.”

Grayson just shakes his head, looks at Kylie miserably, and shuffles out the door with Cali and the doctor. The only sounds in the room are the monitors and our heavy breathing. I sit on the edge of her bed and take her hand. My mind works frantically. It tries to find a way to push back the fear that’s suffocating me.

“Cooper,” she whispers.

I look at her feeling as though I can’t breathe. I know this is fucked up, but I’m don’t know if I’m ready to do this again. If something happened… I can’t. “Tell me you didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”

“No,” she clips out angrily. “I forgot. Things have been crazy. We’re building the new house, selling the others, moving, dealing with business, and in counseling. It’s been crazy, and I just forgot to schedule it. How dare you?” I see her face harden in pain.

I close my eyes and think. I made a vow.

For better or worse

For better or fucking worse

Those words sweep through me as I push down my sweltering panic. I’m scared to death, and it’s directing my actions. I can’t let it. I can’t screw this up. I can’t allow this to ruin us again. I’m overcome with remorse for my reaction. She’s already sick and vulnerable, and we’re having a baby.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I grab her face and rain tender kisses all over her. “I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have said that. Please forgive me.”

She curls her arms around my neck and buries her face into the crook of my shoulder. I feel her tears and hold her tight, embracing the woman I love with all that’s in me.

“It’s okay,” I croon. “We’ll get through this. We’ll be okay.” I don’t believe my own words, but I need to comfort her.

“I’m scared,” she cries.

My muscles tense at her anguish. “Me too.”

“Oh God, what if it happens again?”

I pull back and stare into her scared blue eyes. I will myself to be strong, to shove down the fear stroking its wicked fingers inside me and be the man she needs. This should be a happy moment for us, but our nightmare is still fresh and raw in our minds.

“It won’t.”
Jesus, don’t let it happen again.
“It’ll be okay. We’ll get tons of prenatal care. We’ll take this step by step and be extra vigilant. I swear I’ll take care of you. We will do everything in our power to keep our baby healthy.”

“Oh, God.” She closes her eyes, tears trickling out. “Is this happening? Are we having a baby?” Her chest puffs up and down with her scared sobs.

I don’t know what to say or how to react. This is so soon, it’s too soon. I know it, and she knows it. We’re just getting our feet under us. This could crush us. There is no way I’ll let anything take us down like it did before. I take a deep lungful of air and look at her, the woman who is carrying my child. I want to say something to give her hope, to bring that sparkle back to her eyes.

“Hey, we have each other.” I move my fingers under her chin. “It’s you and me until the end. We’ve walked through the fiery depths of hell, Kylie. Shit, I swear we’ve paved the streets of hell with our anguish. We’ve been at the lowest point we could’ve ever imagined, but we’re on our way back. I’ve got you. Do you trust me?”

She nods, and a peace settles inside me. Hope stirs in my heart. I really love her, and I want a redo. God, I want a fucking redo. This could be our chance.

“I love you,” I breathe. “Maybe this is our second chance. No matter what, I’ve got you today and every other day. We’ll make it through this.”

She nods as tears stream down her face. Her eyes shift from scared to hesitant as she absorbs my words. She puts her hand on my cheek, and her warmth penetrates my soul. We say nothing more as we share an intimate moment, one we both deserve. We deserve some peace and happiness.

“So, round two,” she whispers.

“Round two,” I whisper back, kissing her cheek.

“We haven’t been knocked out yet.” She smiles.

“Nah, we’ve been down, but I haven’t tapped out and neither have you. We still have fight left in us.”

“I hope I can give you this baby,” she admits.

“It’ll be okay,” I say, urgent to give her some hope.

She nods, letting out a breath. “Okay.”

“I’m going to take care of you.”

Her face softens, and her lips curl in a small smile. “I know you will.”

She’s so damn beautiful. Sick or not, she’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. She runs her fingers across my head, sending chills down my body. We stare into each other’s eyes and lean in at the same time. Our lips connect in a warm, closed-mouthed kiss. The moment I feel her softness, I close my eyes and savor the fact that we still have each other.

For the first time in a long time, I have a sense of peace. I don’t know what it is, but I feel something lingering around us, something almost spiritual. My moment of panic is soothed by hope. Where there’s hope, there’s the will to live and fight.

I think we might be getting our second chance.