Acts of Desperation (10 page)

When I stepped through the archway of our kiln and walked to our table, Jax stood up. “Hey,” he said and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I smiled.

“No, it’s not,” he said and gave me a
weak smile. “I ordered us another bottle of wine and our food came while you were gone. What do you say we eat and you tell me about your day then after dinner we can go outside to the fire pit and you can ask me whatever you want?”

“There’s a fire pit outside?” I asked.

“Our waitress mentioned it when she brought the food. There’s supposed to be a band out there in a bit too,” he said.

“Sure.” I smiled. “That sounds nice.”

The rest of our meal passed with ease. We laughed, we ate, and we drank more wine. I sipped sporadically on my water, but before I knew it, I’d consumed another glass of wine. When we were finished, Jax laid out a generous tip, and I stood from my seat. That, unfortunately, was when I lost my balance and hit the proverbial wall. I grabbed the back of my chair to steady myself and took a deep breath, but it was useless—I was completely drunk.

Jax walked around
behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “Are you ok?” he whispered in my ear.

“Hmm? Yep. Fine. I probably should have stopped after the first bottle. The wine’s caught up to me
a little I think,” I said, leaning my weight back against his hard chest.

“Maybe I should take you home then
.”

“What?”

“We should probably call it a night.”

“
I’m fine,” I said, but I wasn’t.

Jax
smirked then led me carefully by the hand through the restaurant and outside to the car. When he opened the car door for me, I turned and tried to salvage the evening.

“Come on, I’ll be
fine. I just need a glass of water,” I said.

“Umm…I think you’re going t
o need a little more than water.” He chuckled.

“Let’s go out to the fire pit. The
air is cooling off a bit and it’ll do me some good.” I leaned in to kiss him, but he turned his head and stepped back.

“No,” he said.

The shock was instant, but the embarrassment took a second to sink in. “What? Fine,” I said and got in to the car. This was when loose-lip-drunk-girl turned into angry-defensive-girl. The drive home was tension filled and tortuously quiet. As soon as he pulled up in front of my house, I let myself out of the car.

“Tha
nks,” I said, shutting the door. I walked up the front steps and stood on our concrete porch, pissed off at the world.  He called to me, but I ignored him. Then, I heard him trotting behind me. “Just.” I sighed. “Good night. I had a great time.” I fumbled with my keys, trying to get the right one in the lock.

“Here, give me those,” he said, taking the keys from my hand.

“I got it,” I said.

He reached for my hand and turned me toward him. “Sember.”

I took another deep breath, and we stood silently looking at each other. He put his hand on the small of my back, and pressed his body against mine. The smell of his leather coat mixed with him was dangerous and suddenly I felt dizzy. I thanked God that I had him there to steady me. He leaned in, and just as his lips touched mine, he pulled back. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this now,” he said with closed eyes, taking a step back.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. 

“Nothing’s wrong, but you’ve had too much to drink, and I don’t want to start something tonight that we can’t finish…and I’ll want to finish,” he said.

“I give you my permission,” I said, smiling.

He smiled. “No. There are some other things on my mind too,” he said. “It’s not right. I should call it a night.”

“Ok,” I said, slightly confused.

He used my keys and opened my door.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Get some rest, and I’ll see you Monday,” he said then leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I enjoyed being with you tonight.” 

A few seconds later, I w
as inside by myself and heard the quiet purr of his engine as he drove away.

Jax and I had left things on a weird note so I hoped to speak with him before Sarah arrived at the firm on Monday. I went into my office to drop my things off, but when I walked in, I found a bag of gourmet peanuts sitting in the middle of my desk tied with a red ribbon. I took my coat off and threw my stuff down. I grabbed the bag and read the l
abel. It said, “Mabel’s Gourmet Peanuts-
The Perfect Snack
.” I laughed, feeling slightly more at ease, and walked down the hall to Jax’s door. Then, as I stood outside, I heard him on the phone—the whole floor could have practically hear him on the phone.

“Yeah. That’s original!” he said then there was a pause. “Let. It. Go.” There was another pause. “You’re
fucking crazy!” Then there was a loud bang, and I jumped back as something shattered against the door.

I waited a moment then knocked. “Is everyth
ing ok?” I opened his door and peeked my head in.

“By all means, come in,” he said. He quickly came around his desk and gathered up what remained of his phone off the floor.

“What happened?” I asked.

“I’d rather not discuss it right now. I need to prepare for the meeting with your sister,” he said.

“Ooo-k.” I scowled as he threw the remains of his phone in his garbage can.

He sat down at his desk and organized some papers into a neat stack. “And, so we’re on the same page, I’d like to meet with your sister one on one,” he said.

“What?” I said. “I thought I’d—”

“It’s nothing person
al.” He rubbed his temples then looked up at me. “You’re too close to the case, and if you’re in here, it can complicate things. Right now, I need facts, not emotions.”

His remarks hit me like a slap in the face. “Sure. Whatever,” I said and walked out.

As I made my trek back to my office, I ran into Dee and my sister in the hallway. Sarah had on her slinky black slacks that had grown baggier over the last several months, the stress of the divorce likely killing her appetite. Despite that, her hair was down and cascading loose waves over her shoulders and onto her delicate white cotton blouse.

“You alright, honey? You look a
little frazzled?” Dee asked.

“I’m fine. It’s nothing.” I half-heartedly smiled. “Stop by
and see me when you’re finished,” I said to Sarah.

“Ok. I will,” Sarah said, smiling nervously
.

Dee led Sarah down to Jax’s office, and a little over an hour later, Sarah stopped by before heading out. She sounded optimistic for the first time in a long time, which was great, but
we all knew it was going to be an uphill battle all the way. She left to go fire Chuck and to have her file sent over so Jax could start reviewing everything.

M
eanwhile, I struggled to get any work done. There were too many things that were unsaid between me and Jax. My mind was swimming and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

I walked back down to his office again and stood there watching him scribble notes onto a yellow legal pad. His top button was undone and his
muted green tie was tugged loose, hanging crookedly to the side. I could tell he’d been running his fingers through his hair because it was delightfully disheveled. I knocked on his door and waited this time.

“Come in,” he said and smiled
at me after looking up.

“You mind if I shut this?” I asked, motioning to his door.

“Not at all. Go ahead,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

I shut the door and turned back to him. “I’d like to get some things out in the open, if you don’t mind. I’m not really sure what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” he said, confused. He crossed his hands over his lap and waited for me to explain.

“Well, it seemed like we were having a good time
Saturday then we kind of ended on a weird note. I’ll admit I had a little too much to drink, but you brushed me off—for the lack of a better term—twice,” I said, “and I didn’t like how it felt.”

“I wasn’t brushing you off,” he said, shaking his head. “That couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“It felt like it. And the thing you’re not telling me, I’m not really into secrets when it comes to someone I’m involved with.”

He grinned slightly. “Is there anything else?”

“No. That pretty much sums it up.”

He nodded his head. “Ok, so we’re
clear
, I have strong feelings for you, so let there be no doubt in your mind about that. And, there is something I haven’t told you.” He exhaled a deep breath. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but if you’ll give me some time to work something out and trust me, then I’ll tell you everything. Now just isn’t the right time.”

“
With everything that’s happened to my sister,” and to me, I left out, “you can understand that I have some trust issues, right?” I said.

“I
can, but still, I’m asking.”

I thought for a second. “Why should I
trust you? I hardly know you.”

“Because there’s something between us, and I know you feel it too.”

My heart beat a little harder. “You don’t have a crazy ex-wife or some kids you’re abandoning in New York, do you?”

He laughed. “No, that’s not it.”

I crossed my arms. “Hmm…,” I said, thinking. I cocked my head to the side letting his very first comment sink it and come to the forefront of my mind. “So, you have feelings for me, huh?” I asked.

“No,” he sai
d and walked around his desk. He held me with his heated stare as he slowly backed me up against his door. “I said
strong
feelings.”

I put my hands to his stomach, and I could see in my mind, his half naked body in that dressing room. Those rippling abs were under my fingertips, and my pulse raced. “How strong?”

He locked his door then put both hands on the wall on either side of my head. “Very.” He leaned in closer. “I want you,” he whispered into my ear and somehow it sucked the air from my lungs.

“Then take me,” I
said through bated breath.

H
is tongued traced my lips. I was breathless and lightheaded, but as his plump lips enveloped mine, he fed me his air, breathing life into me. His hands trailed down along my body, stopping at my hips to lift my skirt. He reached around and cupped my bare backside then effortlessly picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him just as I’d envisioned I would that day after lunch. He carried me and set me down on his oversized leather ottoman, our mouths never leaving each other’s. He got on his knees and began tugging my shirt loose. My hands trembled as I unfastened the buttons on his shirt. I couldn’t wait to feel his skin against mine. His hands roamed up my thighs and stopped at the elastic on my white lacy thong.

Just as
my inhibitions were going out the window, there was a knock at his door.

“Jax,”
Evan’s voice called from the hallway. “You got a sec? I need to go over the Peterson file with you.”

Seriously, h
is timing was impeccable. I groaned.

Jax
sighed and looked down. “Can it wait? I’m in a meeting.” He looked up at me, smirking with his finger up to his mouth, shushing me.

“It really can’t, man. Sorry. Rittger is threatening to file charges if we don’t get this stuff to him today.”

He sighed again. “Alright. Give me a minute and I’ll be down,” he said. “I’m sorry. I have to take care of this.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “What can you do? Duty calls.” He got off his knees and helped me stand. I straightened my skirt and tucked my shirt back in. “Guess I’ll see you around.”

“Don’t go far. I’m not through with you yet.” He raised his brow and gave me a smirk.

As I was walking away, he snatched me around my waist and gave me one more long, deep kiss.
I smiled then went back to my office. The rest of the day passed as day turned to night. And I’m not saying I waited for him, but I’m not saying I didn’t either. I worked on every little thing I could think of, and just as I was about the throw in the towel, my phone rang.

“Sember Adler,” I said into the receiver.

“Miss Adler,” Jax said. “Could I see you in my office for a second?”

I laughed under my breath. “Is this urgent?”
I said, faking the formality.

“It is,
” was all he said before hanging up.

I set the phone down and slowly stood from my desk. I stepped out into the darkened hallway, and it looked like everyone had gone home for the day. The only hint of light was glowing from inside Jax’s office. I walked down and stood in his open doorway, but he wasn’t at his desk. Then from behind, I felt hands wrap around my waist, and I smelled him
. He buried his kisses in the nape of my neck. I arched my head back and reached up to grab ahold of his hair and to put his mouth where I wanted it, but he had something else in mind. 

“Walk,” he said.

So I did.

I stepped forward with his hands glued to my hips. Once we were inside his office, he nudged the door shut with his foot, and I heard it click, locking us in. The room was dark except for the city light
s shining outside of his window, and all was quiet except for the low hum of his hard drive spinning our music. He walked me to the ottoman where our scene had come to an abrupt end earlier, and he turned me around to remove my clothes. Standing before me and blocking the light, I watched his radiant silhouette as he undressed.

“Sit down and lay back,” he said, his voice rolling through my chest like a slow rumble of thunder.

I did as he asked without question. When I leaned back, the cold leather shocked my skin, giving me the chills and I shivered. He slowly knelt down, and steadied himself on my thighs. His large hands rubbed the goose bumps from my flesh as he kissed from just above my knee, all the way up, before burying his face between my legs. His merciless tongue licked and sucked on my swollen nub then he slid one finger inside of me, slowly moving himself in and out, driving me crazy. He was too good, and I moaned as a war instantly raged inside my body. I didn’t want the moment to end, but my body wanted to surrender.

I caressed his head and lifted it to meet my eyes, prepared to beg. “Stop…I don’t want to yet,”
I said, squeezing my legs shut. But my body missed his warm, wet mouth and fired tiny pulses, reminding me of its need.

“I want you to
. I want to taste you and feel you when you come,” he said. “Trust me, this isn’t over yet.”

There was nothing to process, and it was pointless to argue, I was weak and at his mercy. I silently laid back and let him continue. Within moments, he had me back at my peak, and I gave in as the unyielding waves of
pleasure rolled through my body.

He slowly kissed his way up my stomach until our mouths met, and I tasted myself on his
breath. His warm, fuzzy chest tickled my skin, and I felt his arousal dance on my stomach, tempting me. I reached down to caress my prize. He was thick, warm, and smooth against my palm, and I massaged one small drop of moisture around his sculpted head.

“Oh my God, baby.” He sighed.

I smiled, knowing I was his tormentor this time, and kissed his neck, nipping up to his lobe. “Do you have a condom?”

“Emm hmm,” he mumbled.
             

He reached around in the dark, and I heard the crinkling of the wrapper. He tore the package with his teeth, and I watched as he rolled it down his shaft.

I tilted my hips to give him easy access and anchored my arms on the leather surface. With ease, he thrust himself inside, filling and stretching me to my limits. His hands held my hips in place, and I whimpered and moaned as he pounded away, rocking my body. I widened my hips, savoring his abuse, and pressed him into me, guiding his plunges to make precise contact where I needed him. He slowed his pace, sensing my desire, and it began to build inside of me just as it was building inside of him. Then he lost control and his cock jerked, lightly whipping the perfect spot inside my sex. All of my muscles tensed, and I screamed as my orgasm pulsed through my body, each surge stronger than the last until it finally reached its peak. He rode each wave then collapsed on top of me, his breath coming out in hot bursts against my breasts. I put my hands into his sweat-dampened hair and held him to me.

“My God, you’re perfect,” he muttered.