Aching to Exhale (12 page)

Raul nodded. "That'll work. I'll call in now and set things in motion, let you know where the meet up will be to get Crystal out of town."

"Right." Rain planted his feet on the floor and stood.

Raul followed his movements, and met him in the middle of the room. "I owe you."

Rain clamped his hand on Raul's shoulder. "We're even. You saved Tori. I'll save Crystal for you."

"I'll accept that." Raul relaxed, reaching into his pocket for his cell, he mumbled, "Shit. I destroyed my phone."

"First drawer by the fridge. Use the pre-pay. There are extra cards in there too." Rain walked to the stairs, and climbed the steps.

After setting up the phone, Raul stood in the kitchen. He gazed out the window, blind to the night. When his contact picked up the call, he said, "7-4-2-9-8-1."

Without giving any information away, he set up a meet and left all other details out of the call. He had no other choice than to send Crystal away and hope someone in the FBI took her deep underground until he could make it back to her.

Chapter Fourteen

The third step from the bottom of the stairs creaked. Crystal's breath echoed in her ears. The rapid beat of her heart caused her hands to shake, and it took all her concentration to hold her finger steady to hit the green button on the security alarm beside the Brookshire's front door.

"I don't think so," Tori's soft voice came from behind Crystal.

Every muscle in Crystal's body constricted, spiking her adrenaline. She dropped her hand from the door handle and turned slowly. She'd lain awake while Raul talked to Rain downstairs, and had waited until he'd finally returned and gone to sleep before sneaking out of the room. She hadn't planned on a confrontation with Tori, or her stopping her departure from the house.

"Do I need to ask your permission to leave?" Crystal crossed her arms.

"Absolutely not," Tori whispered. "Except I know the man upstairs that you left alone in bed loves you more than he's able to express, and he needs someone he can trust beside him. I just haven't figured out why that person is you, because I think he deserves a woman who is strong and will stand beside him through everything he's going through. So, I won't stop you if you feel you have to run. I've been where you are myself, wanting to escape because it was easier than dealing with your problems. I was lucky and Rain ran with me. You have to understand thought that because of who Raul is and what is going on in his life—which I don't know why he's here, but I imagine it's not good since he's blowing everything by coming to our house—he's not going to have the time to catch you."

Club life didn't provide many opportunities for chitchat among the women outside of the Lagsturns. Everyone paid attention to his or her own life, and not the lives of the others. It was the club's creed to depend on the family for all matters.

"You're just full of advice regarding my love life, aren't you?" she said.

Tori's head came back. "Maybe you need my help. Have you ever thought about that?"

To hear Tori tell her that Raul loved her made her more determined to leave. Crystal glanced up the stairs. "I need to leave for other reasons than my relationship with Raul. He'll survive and move on. Tell him…I'm sorry."

"Why should I?" Tori asked.

Crystal stiffened at the attitude thrown at her. "Maybe because you care about him. I'm not the only one in his life. From what I've heard in the last twelve hours, you probably know him better than I do. He doesn't need to worry about me during this time. I've survived fine on my own, and I can't—"

"Tori?" Rain's voice boomed in the entryway as the light came on. "Want to tell me why you weren't in bed, and I find you down here by the door with Crystal?"

Tori eyes lit up and her lips twitched in amusement. "It looks like I'm not the only one who has an urge to go jogging in the early morning hours."

Rain frowned, studying both his wife and Crystal, and then once he took in the situation, he tilted his head back and yelled, "Raul, get your ass down here."

"Shit," Crystal muttered, turning away from them both and pacing the entryway. "Can a person even decide her own fate without taking it to the club…any club?"

A door slammed shut upstairs, followed by the wail of a baby. Tori sighed before walking to Rain, grabbing his hand, and leading him up the stairs. Raul passed the Brookshires on the steps, ignoring both of them, because he'd locked his gaze on Crystal. She shivered and crossed her arms. This was not going to go down well.

Raul stalked straight to the door and stood inches in front of her. "What the hell are you doing?"

She swallowed. "We need to talk."

"You think?" Raul's mouth tightened. "I spill my guts, take care of you, fuck you, and then I get woke up to find out you were going to skip out on me? What the hell?"

"Please, not so loud. You'll wake the baby again and piss off Rain," she said.

"Fuck Rain. You're—"

A door upstairs slammed, followed by Tori telling Rain to leave Raul alone.

Tori waited until she heard the door click shut again and pulled Raul into the living room. "There are things you don't know, that you can't know, and with everything going on in your life, I need to go."

"Go where?" He held his arms out to his sides. "Where the hell would you go that you'd be safe?"

Good question. Nowhere was safe. The Mexican Mafia had people all over the United States. But, staying and going along with Raul's plans would cause him more trouble once someone found out her real name.

"I'll go far away. Somewhere the Mafia can't touch me." She hooked her hair behind her ear. "In a year, I'll make contact with Rain and ask about you. If it's safe at that time, then we'll go from there."

"A year?" Raul shook his head and turned around. "
Madre de Dios
…"

She shared his frustrations over their problems. Crystal inhaled deeply. She'd like nothing more than to reassure him she'd be here for him in a year, but the odds were against her.

Never having a man she loved the way she did Raul, the need to stay and comfort him zapped all her strength. She wanted the happily ever after, but the husband, the house, the baby wasn't meant for her.

"I'm so sorry." She hated the way her voice shook. "I'm sor—"

"No." Before she could say anymore, he was on her, holding her shoulders and in her face. "Don't tell me you're sorry. You don't get me. I thought you were dead. Do you hear me? Dead. I wanted you dead, because it was better than thinking Garcia got his hands on you. The best day of my life was walking into that lounge in Palm Springs, finding you alive, and seeing you dance. Even then, you were dancing for me, and you had no idea I was there. You danced for me,
mi vida
, only me. Always. Don't take that away from me."

"It was for you." She stroked his face. "But you're a federal agent, and—"

"What?" He pulled back without letting her go. "What won't you tell me?"

She tangled her fingers in his hair, forcing him to listen. "Everything. There are very big reasons why I can't stay with you. I'm not stupid, Raul. I know I've done things wrong with you, but sending me out where someone questions who I am puts more attention on you. Both of us will suffer."

He blinked at her with his mouth moving. She could see him working through all the information she'd given him, and she worried that he'd read too much into her story. He'd always been good about reading her moods and dealing with her before. She had to be more careful.

His gaze hardened. "Why?"

Verbally slapped, she recoiled. "W-what?"

"Why did you stay with me, sleep with me, and lay beside me every night acting like you were my woman when really you were playing my bitch?" He rocked back a step.

She shook her head. "No."

"Yeah." He walked backward, away from her. "You did."

A slight quiver of his upper lip gave way to disgust. A darkness she'd never seen before entered his eyes and closed him down. She sank to her knees, wrapped her arms around her middle, and stifled her cry. It wasn't true. She loved him.

"Raul," she whispered, but he'd turned around and left the room.

Her soul cried out for him to come back. A hurt worse than when she walked away from her former life, knowing there was no going back or reassurance that her life would turn out okay, throbbed through her chest.

Tears clogged her throat. She pushed to her feet, bracing her legs. She knew better than to let herself have a moment to release the pain. The emotions would blind her to what she had to do.

With the two hundred and fifty dollars Raul gave her yesterday in her pocket, she walked with leaden feet to the front door, pushed the button on the alarm, and left the life she had with Raul behind her. She was doing him a favor and he'd never know the truth. He'd never learn that until she'd met him, she'd ceased to exist.

Chapter Fifteen

Ten minutes from Rain's house, Crystal looked left toward the scenic road following the Lewis River and right, which she knew would lead her toward Pitnam, and decided to go left. She had no idea where the road would take her, but everyone knew that most rivers flowed toward the Pacific Ocean in this part of Washington. She'd continue walking until she hit Interstate 5 and then hitchhike her way as far as her rides would take her.

She'd been on her own before. She'd survive.

When she reached her destination, she'd fall apart for a couple of days, and then pick herself back up and look for a job. It was always the same.

Her chest tightened, and she walked faster. She lied to herself. This time was different.

The first time she struck out on her own, bitterness and betrayal kept her going. After that, each upset in her life created new plans and hope for change. This time she left her heart with the man she loved, and no new job, new motel room, new goal would ever compare to what she had with Raul.

A distant hum grew louder to a chest-thumping rumble. She looked behind her, panicked, and ran. Raul or Rain had already called the MC.

The black motorcycle, louder and closer by the second, came straight toward her without pulling into the street toward Rain's house. She pressed her hand into the stitch at her side and continued running. Unable to outrun a bike, she wanted to be moving if the rider tried to stop her.

The motorcycle rider roared past her, not even paying her any attention or slowing his speed. She slowed to a walk. Nausea and lightheadedness made the cramp in her side worse. She swallowed, drawing moisture into her dry mouth. She had to get out of town, because she couldn't stay around the MC without Raul and wouldn't allow him to put her away somewhere for a government agent to dig into her past.

How she'd managed to have a Mafia drug lord after her was beyond understanding and probably unbelievable to everyone else…if they knew.

The tip of her sneaker caught on a piece of gravel. She stumbled and caught herself before she fell. Her parents said she'd pay in hell. They were probably right, because she couldn't think of anything worse than losing Raul.

Guillermo Garcia wanted to have her as the sacrificial virgin, except she'd lost her virginity at sixteen years old. Raul wanted to nail her on the cross, and not in a pleasurable way for not trusting him. She thrust her hand through her hair, cooling her neck. Most of all, she wanted to go back to Raul, explain everything to him, and swear him to secrecy as if she was twelve, and believed that he'd never tell.

She didn't live in a world where secrets remained hidden, and someone always had her back.

She'd enjoyed the Lagsturns for a while, knowing they lived by the unwritten code that no matter what happens, brothers come first—including property owned by any member of the Lagsturns. She'd allowed herself to fantasize about what it would really mean to be Raul's woman and have the kind of protection where someone would die for her.

She'd greedily accepted everything Raul gave her, because she was desperate to put herself deep within the MC. And yet, she'd still managed to mess everything up with Raul.

Raul believed she was high maintenance. If he knew her life in the MC came about for a purpose, he'd learn that she wasn't out to play him. She wanted to hide where she could make herself half believe she succeeded on changing her life around.

Another ground quake of a rumble pushed her faster, though this time a different rider came toward her from the road ahead. She kept her gaze forward and watched the biker ride closer. As he thundered by, she turned and watched the rider roll past Rain's road, heading toward Pitnam. A weight settled on her shoulders. All these riders and they weren't even driving toward Rain's house to rally around Raul or come after her.

Tori's damn love advice was right. He'd truly let her walk away without fighting for her.

One foot in front of the other, she distanced herself until she could no longer look behind her and see any familiar terrain. She continued jogging, because the physical exertion kept her from crying. The country road seemed to wind alongside the river, bending and swaying to match the landscape.

When it hurt to breath and her legs threatened to collapse, she slowed and hiked down the embankment to the river's edge on shaky legs. She cupped water in her hands and cooled off her face, and then repeated the action for a drink of water. She wrinkled her nose, imagining silt and invisible bugs she was probably swallowing, but the coolness on her throat and tongue brought relief. She sat for five minutes, gathering her second wind, listening to the rush of the water over the rocks peppering the river before pushing herself to her feet and making her way up the bank.

She slipped on the loose gravel, and slid back a foot. Her bottom lip stung where she'd bit into the tender skin. On the verge of a major meltdown if one more thing went wrong, she grabbed at the tall thin weeds around her and heaved herself to the road. She looked up forward in the direction she needed to head, and gasped.

Raul sat on his motorcycle, his sunglasses pushed to the top of his head, and his gaze glued on her. She took in the stiffness of his shoulders, the folded arms, and the hardness in his eyes that remained from earlier.