Acceptable Behavior (20 page)

They sat down and Sam admitted, “There is something I wanted to talk with you about. This is as good a time as any, with Levi gone.”

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Travis’ stomach. “I knew it. What’s up, Sam?”

Sam forked a pork chop onto Travis’ plate. “Nothing is
up
. We just need to talk about Mel. She’s doing really well in rehab. The director says she could be released as early as next week.”

“Is he sure? Thirty days isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. I’d hate to see her relapse.”

“I don’t think she will. She’s been talking about what comes next. We’ve even started looking at ads for apartments.”

Travis chewed the bite in his mouth then pushed his plate away. His appetite was suddenly gone. “She wants Levi, doesn’t she?”

“She never said it in those words. It’s more like she
expects
Levi to come live with her. Because we’ve never suggested that he might not.”

“Then I think it’s high time we make that suggestion! We probably should have done it before now, Sam. She needs to know how we feel about him.”

“There’s something else. She seems to think that I’ll be moving in with them, too. She’s talking about a three bedroom place.”

Travis blinked. “Did you set her straight? That scenario is not going to happen?”

He shook his head. “No, because that seems like the best answer to her. I didn’t know what to say, how to tell her.”

“You tell her that we love each other and your living here is permanent. You’re not going anywhere. Jesus, Sam, I thought we were past this.”

“Take it easy. I’m walking a fine line between you and her and I’m trying not to upset anyone.”

“Especially her, because you don’t really have a problem upsetting me.”

“For Christ’s sake, Travis, she’s in
rehab
. Of course I’m being delicate with her. I’d never do anything to set her back.”

Travis pressed his palms down on the table and tried to remain calm. He needed to collect his thoughts and be as precise and tactful as possible. “Okay, so here’s what we need to do. We’ll go talk to her together. Explain our situation, and that we’d like her to consider leaving Levi with us. A one bedroom apartment would be easier to find, anyway, and cheaper. She doesn’t even have a job yet, does she?”

“No. She’s been discussing it with her counselor, but so far nothing has jumped out at her.”

“Jobs just don’t ‘jump out’ at people, Sam. You have to work hard and go after the one you want. She’s not ready yet, I can feel it.”

“Now you’re being mean because you want her to stay in rehab so we don’t have to deal with this. Guess what, lover, it’s time to deal. Without yelling, without hitting, hopefully without fighting, we need to figure this out.”

Travis stood and paced. “I suppose she can come here, as long as she stays clean and doesn’t smoke. I told you before, I won’t be happy if she backtracks, or lies to us.”

Sam stood and folded his arms across his chest. “And I told you before, this isn’t a dictatorship, even if you do own the fucking house. If it’s going to work, it’s got to be an equal partnership. Mel is my twin sister and I won’t have you coming down like a warden on her. That just isn’t going to happen.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, I know she’s your twin sister. You throw it in my face every time we try to have a conversation about her. She’s the most important person in your life. I got it, Sam. If I want a spot, I’m hereby put on notice that I’ll be playing second fiddle to Melanie Madison for the rest of my life.”

“Mel was right. You are an asshole. Most days I don’t see it, and then something happens to remind me. Well here’s another notice for you, Dr. Nelson. As soon as I can find an apartment, Levi and I will be moving in with Mel. If you can manage an attitude adjustment, I might keep you around as a fuck buddy. But if you keep disparaging my sister, I’ll kick you to the curb and fuck my hand every damn night.” Sam turned and walked down the hall.

Travis stared after him, slack jawed.

Sam paused and looked back. “I’ll sleep in Levi’s bed tonight. Don’t come sniffing around for sex. It’ll make you look more pathetic than you already do.” He kept walking.

Travis dropped into a chair. Stunned beyond belief, he didn’t know what to do or say next. So he walked to the garage, laced up a set of sneakers, and grabbed his helmet. He took off on his bike, trying to pedal away his demons.

He returned an hour later, sweaty and too tired to fight anymore. Walking through the kitchen, he saw that Sam had cleaned up and retreated to Levi’s room again. He debated knocking on the door but wasn’t exactly sure what he’d say. Fearing it would cause another argument, he went to his room and closed the door.

Travis showered and climbed into bed naked. He prayed that at some point in the night Sam would slip in and join him under the covers, but it never happened. He rose and dressed for work as usual, without ever seeing Sam.

He worked a morning shift in the clinic then rearranged his schedule and took the afternoon off. During the hour-long trip to the rehab center, he wondered if he’d run into Sam there, but realized that he’d be arriving just as Sam needed to pick Levi up from camp. He should be safe.

The woman behind the desk at the center asked Travis who he was, and he informed her he was Melanie Madison’s brother-in-law. She made a call, then directed him back to the room Mel was staying in.

He knocked on the door.

“Come in,” she called.

Travis opened the door and took a few steps inside.

“Travis! Is something wrong?”

“No. Well, yes. I mean, Levi’s fine.”

She sat in one of two overstuffed chairs, and motioned for him to take the other.

She looked much better than the previous times he’d seen her. Her hair was clean and pulled back, and her eyes were clear. He sat and stared at her, unsure where to begin. “I need your help,” he finally said.

“What is it?”

“It’s…Sam. We fought last night. I don’t know if he’s been here to talk to you today, or not.”

“No, he hasn’t. What was the fight about?”

He gazed at her sheepishly. “You.”

Mel chuckled. “Geez. Sorry. I didn’t know. My ears weren’t burning or anything.”

Travis shook his head. “I don’t mean to put this on you. It’s not your fault, it’s just something that happened.”

“Let me guess. My brother wants me to come and live in your house and you’re against it.”

“No, actually that was my suggestion. He wants to get an apartment for you and Levi and him.”

Her eyes widened. “Why would he want that? Last I heard he was madly in love with you.”

Travis smiled. “Apparently, I can be a real asshole.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t think you could ever have too many assholes between gay men.”

He laughed outright. “Good one. Sam told me I’d like you if I ever got to know you.”

“Yeah, I heard the same muckety-muck. Seriously, Travis, what is he thinking?”

Travis inhaled and blew the breath out.
Time for full disclosure
. “He’s afraid to upset you. He doesn’t think he can be open and honest with you since you’re in rehab.”

“Well that’s ridiculous. My counselor and I have spent many sessions discussing my being honest with people. I think I’ve done really well with it. I told Sam that I’m not ready to live on my own, or even with my family. I’m feeling pretty strong in here, but let’s face it, this is a safe place. There aren’t any temptations for me to deal with. I’d like to think if someone offered me a cigarette or a bong right now I’d be strong enough to say ‘no’. But I’m not quite there yet.”

He was surprised. “Sam didn’t tell me. He acted like you guys were here looking at want ads for apartments together.”

She waved a hand. “Oh, we were, but it was just looking. I know where I’ll be going. There’s a halfway house for people like me not far from here. We live together so we can support each other, and it’s close so we can come to daily group meetings. They’re like AA, but they’re here, with people we know. They tell me people usually stay in the halfway houses for six months to a year, depending on the person. I think that sounds like just what I need. I’ve even been there, and it’s a neat and clean place. No bugs.” She smiled.

Travis held his breath. “What about Levi?”

She scratched her chin. “I agree, Levi is a problem. I can’t take him to the halfway house. Kids aren’t allowed, but it wouldn’t be fair to him, anyway. I was trying to work up the courage to ask Sam if you guys could keep him a while longer.”

He slowly shook his head. “I don’t think so, Mel.”

She blinked.

He leaned in and took her hand. “You see, Levi isn’t a problem to us. We love him like he’s our own. We
want
him to be our own. By all accounts he’s happier than he’s ever been, living with us. He loves my parents to pieces and they dote on him like they would a grandchild. But it’s not fair to him, or us, to keep dangling this arrangement as temporary. The boy needs stability. If he’s living with us he’ll be in a different school this fall. We can’t just bounce him back and forth between us on a whim.”

She gripped Travis’ hand. “I know. I’ve seen the change in him myself. On one hand it kills me, but on the other it thrills me. He’s happy! My boy is so frigging happy. I’m not sure I could get him back now if I tried. But the idea of not being his mother anymore—”

“You will
always
be his mother. You see, that’s one of the perks of giving him to two gay dads. You still get to be the mom.” Travis smiled. “Sam and I want to get married and adopt Levi. As long as you stay clean, you can be in his life as much as you want. I’ll be blunt with you here, Mel, that this is what pissed Sam off. If you don’t stay clean, I couldn’t let you be around Levi. You get that, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.” Tears streamed down her face. “I couldn’t see it when I was strung out, but now it’s as plain as daylight. I wouldn’t want a druggie around my kid, either. Would you agree to make that part of the legal arrangements? As long as I’m clean and sober, I’ll be allowed to have contact with him?”

“Absolutely,” Travis repeated and squeezed her hand again. He reached in his pocket and removed a handkerchief. He started to hand it to her but reconsidered, and wiped her face himself.

She let him. “Travis, in case you haven’t figured it out, Sam is very protective of me. It’s been me and him against the world for a lot of years. We didn’t have the best childhood.”

“I heard about some of it.”

“And when I met Rob, Sam didn’t like him one bit. Rob was a homophobic jerk, but I put up with it because he was my jerk, and I loved him. And for all his jerkiness, he loved me and Levi. When he went away I lost it, and that’s when things started spiraling downward.”

“I’m sorry, Mel.”

“Sam always wanted to fix things, but he just couldn’t chase away the demons. I had to do that myself. I feel like I’m suddenly, yet slowly, doing it right this time. It feels good.”

He smiled. “I’ve been accused of trying to fix things for Sam. Maybe it would feel good to him if I let him do it himself, too.”

“I think you’re right.”

Travis glanced at the table next to her chair and spotted a drawing pad with sketches on it. “What’s that?”

She followed his gaze. “Oh, my drawings.” She picked them up and held the pad out to him.

He flipped through the pages and paused when he saw the most beautiful sketch of Levi’s face. “Oh, wow. Did you do this from a picture?”

“No. From a memory in my head.”

He gazed at her. “These are really good, Mel.”

She grinned. “Yeah. Sam and I were trying to figure out a job where I could make money doing what I loved. I mean, prostitution is illegal, so something
else
that I love. He didn’t think brownie taste-tester would pay very well, either.”

Travis laughed. “I might have an idea. Did you know tattoo artists use sketches like these for their art all the time? Some of them are good at drawing like you are, but some rely on artwork from other sources. I know a guy you should talk to.”

Mel chuckled. “How do you know a guy like that, Reverend Trav? Sam told me you were really pissed when he mentioned wanting a tat.”

“Sam is so full of shit.” He stood and began unbuttoning his shirt.

She looked surprised, and they locked gazes.

He pulled his shirt off and his inked skin came into view.

“Oh my God! Look at all those tattoos. You’re a marked man.”

He turned around so she could see his back was just as covered. Facing her again, he said, “The rest of me is inked as well.”

“I want to see,” she said breathily.

“I’m afraid you’d have to buy me dinner first.”

Mel laughed and stood. “Can I touch you?”

“Waist up, no problem.”

She ran her hands along his chest and arms, then turned him around and did the same to his back. “God, Trav,” she whispered. “If I had a dick it’d be hard right now.”

He smiled over his shoulder at her. “You’re a lot like your brother. But I’m definitely a gay man.”

Mel leaned in and whispered, “You make
me
want to be a gay man, too. But I’ll control myself because I love my brother and I’m happy as hell for him. Now, put your shirt back on and let’s figure out how to bring Sammy around to our way of thinking.” She patted his ass for good measure.

Travis gaped at her.

Mel winked.

Chapter Eleven

Sam glanced at his reflection in the mirror and studied his first tattoo ever. The back of his right shoulder now sported the spitting image of Levi, courtesy of a sketch done by Mel and the tattooing skills of Eddie Ortega. “It’s gorgeous. I fucking love it.”

Travis gazed at the tattoo, his face an expression of awe. “Holy crap. Seeing you with a tat makes me want to jump you right here and now, man.”

Eddie brushed a strand of long gray hair off his face. “I really wish you wouldn’t. I’m a tolerant guy and all for free love, but some things I don’t need to see firsthand.”

“Yeah, me either.” Mel feigned an eye roll. She turned to Eddie. “Watching you was amazing. I was loaded when I got my tat, and don’t remember a thing about it.”