Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U) (5 page)

I’ve spent almost two hours staring at Caleb. I can’t help myself. There might as well be a spotlight shining down on him. His sexiness is like a magnet for my eyes. The more I drink, the stronger the magnetism gets. Sometimes, he looks back, usually, I’m quick to look away, but most of the time, he catches me staring at him and smiles. I drink more, hoping that by drowning myself in alcohol, I will stop staring at Caleb and fantasizing about him taking me home. I have a certain type of guy in mind for myself, and Caleb does not possess the most important thing—an accent.

“My friend should be here any minute,” Maggie mumbles.

My brother is totally enthralled by some red-head chick who just got done singing
Somebody to Love
by Queen. The entire room except me is captivated by her. Sure, she has a nice voice and is easy on the eyes, but where is the stage presence?

“Tell her not to bother coming. I’m going to talk to that red-head.”

Max gets up from the table and walks across the bar. Maggie starts to yell at him, but it’s no use. Max is gone. His sights are set on the red-head and nothing is going to deter him from his prize.

“Ugh, he’s going to ruin everything,” Maggie snaps.

“Sorry to inform you, but the only woman Max would ever wait for is Breezy. He lost interest in whatever girl you were planning on introducing him to about five drinks ago.”

“I brought Breezy here for him, but she’s too much of a chicken to get up on that stage and sing for him like she’s supposed to.”

“Breezy’s here? Where the hell is she?” My head shoots around the room, but I don’t see her anywhere.

“Near the bathrooms. I’ve tried everything I could to get her to go up there, but nothing I tell her is working.”

“I’ll be right back.” If Breezy came here to sing for my brother, then, by god, that’s exactly what she’s going to do! There’s no way I’m letting my brother leave this place with the wrong girl—not when the right girl is hiding around the corner.

I find Breezy in the hallway pacing back and forth. When she sees me, she starts crying. “Oh Everly, I’m so happy to see you,” she shrieks, throwing herself into my arms. “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m so nervous. What if he rejects me?”

I grab her shoulders and push her away from me. Her freckled cheeks are tear-stained and her green eyes are so big she looks like one of those freaky Japanese dolls that never blink.

“Breezy, do you love my brother?”

“Yes.”

“Do you honestly think my brother is going to reject you when he’s been in love with you for the last ten years? I’m pretty sure all you have to do is jump up on that stage, say Max’s name, and he’ll be all over you. However, if you don’t do it now, he’s going to leave with that Queen-singing red head and you’re going to lose that window of opportunity to tell him how you feel. Trust me, get out there, sing your ass off, and go claim your man. Even if that man is my brother.”

Breezy is looking at me like I’m crazy. I know she doesn’t want to do this, but it’s important that she does—not only for her but for my brother as well.

“I can’t do it. I’m not good with crowds.” She starts hyperventilating, and I shake her.

“Snap out of it, would you. Do you want him to go home with the red- head or with you? My brother has been a fucking zombie these last couple days and it’s all your fault. No amount of pussy is going to cure the shit going on with him. The only person that can truly fix this funk he is in, is you, Breezy. Now get the hell up on that stage, and send that red-head back to the pit she crawled out of.”

Breezy sniffs and wipes her nose with the back of her sweatshirt.
Gross!
She takes it off, takes a deep breath, and marches towards the stage. I follow her out and see that Max is making his way to the door.

Come on, Breezy, get up there before he leaves.

I’m about to stop Max when Breezy hops on the stage and grabs the microphone. It squeals loudly and half of the room covers their ears. She clears her voice and speaks. It’s probably the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, especially when my brother stops dead in his tracks and halts the red-head.

“This song is dedicated to Max. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until you were gone. There hasn’t been a moment that’s gone by in the last eight days that I haven’t been thinking about you. I was stupid to think we could never be more than friends. I’m sorry it took me ten years to realize the man I want to spend the rest of my life with has been next to me this whole time. Max, you’re my crutch, my rock, my best friend, and the love of my life. I understand if you don’t want to forgive me, but I need you to know that I’m in love with you, and if I have to, I will spend the next ten years trying to make you mine.”

I’ve taken a seat back at the table with Dashawn and Maggie. Both Maggie and I are crying, Dashawn, on the other hand, is grinning like an idiot. My brother, well, he’s still standing like a statue at the back of the bar. I have to hold back my giggles when the music starts. I’m expecting some ballad professing her love for Max, but instead, I hear the introduction of Aqua’s
Barbie Girl
. It’s adorable how much Max’s face lights up. Breezy looks like she’s about to vomit, but she manages to choke out the words, even though she’s crying. Her eyes are locked with Max, and now he’s making his way up to the stage. He jumps up next to her and takes the microphone away. Now he’s belting out the guy’s part like he was the original singer. I’m surprised Breezy is still upright. She’s sobbing hysterically and laughing at the same time.

This display of love and affection is puke-worthy at best, but silently I swoon. I want someone whose love is so deep for me that they would do anything to prove it. I’ve always known that Breezy and Max would end up together. Now I hope that they will seal the deal, maybe stop showing off in front of this room full of strangers. Max drops the microphone when Breezy launches into his arms. The gross display of PDA mixed with tears makes me think of those lovey-dovey Hallmark movies. Awesome my brother finally got his Hallmark moment.

“I love you,” she screams. I can’t hear anything after she says I love you. Obviously, whatever she’s saying is making Max happy, because the more she talks, the bigger his smile gets. I find my eyes wandering around the bar. Maybe it was a sixth sense, but I could feel his eyes before I even looked at him. Sure enough, Mr. Sexy Caleb is staring at me again. I manage to look away. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, so I quickly divert my attention back to my brother and Breezy.

What the hell? Max is on his knees. Holy crap, he’s proposing to her! How did this go from a profession of love to a straight up proposal? The look of shock and every other emotion you can possibly think of besides anger consumes her face. Breezy’s covering her mouth and crying so hard I’m surprised she’s still upright. I’m expecting her to flee in fear, but instead, she nods, and he’s kissing her again. Wow, my brother just got engaged to the woman he’s always wanted to be with.

Maggie and I look at each other and laugh. Both of us have mascara running down our faces; the only difference is she has Dashawn’s shoulder to cry on and I have no one. I have to get out of here. There’s way too much lovey-dovey nonsense going on around me. I’ll never have that. The boys I’m interested in don’t have all the qualities I’m looking for. One day, I’ll find a guy who is not only sexy, but also smart, selfless, funny, and with the sexiest accent. He’s out there somewhere. I just have to find him.

I excuse myself from the table and say my goodbyes to Dashawn and Maggie. I know if I say goodbye to Max, he won’t let me leave. So the best thing for me to do is slip out the back door, and hail a cab. At least that way, I don’t have to keep stopping myself from staring at Caleb.

Once outside, I look for where the cabs should be parked. Unfortunately, the street in front of the karaoke bar is completely deserted and the only people outside are a couple of smokers. I’m about to call for a cab when I feel someone tap my shoulder.

“Do you need a ride?”

Speak of the devil. Caleb is standing behind me, his hands shoved in his pockets. I’m not sure if I should be happy to see him, or annoyed. It’s hard to fight the attraction I have for him when he keeps popping up like this.

“Nope, I’m going to call a cab.”

“I have a car parked around the corner. I can give you a lift.”

“Is this some ploy to get me to go home with you? Because if so, I’m not
that
drunk.” I hear my words slur a little bit and I giggle. Holy crap, maybe I am
that
drunk.

“Would it be a bad thing to go home with me? I can tell you’re attracted to me; your eyes have been following me around all night long.”

He winks at me . . . again. Ugh, why am I finding his winking sexy? Winking is not sexy. His winking . . . fucking amazing.

“I’m certain it would be something I’d definitely regret in the morning,” I tell him, not really believing myself. I’m sure he’d make every second worth it. The fact of the matter is, he doesn’t have an accent, and that’s a deal breaker—a major one.

“I’m pretty sure it would be the best night of your life. I could give you references if you need them.”

Mock laughter spills from my lips. “Yes, because contacting every vagina that’s made contact with your dick sounds like the perfect way to assess your ability to make my night. Are you that dense? Seriously, do you choke on your cockiness, or do you simply like the taste of your own ego?”

He looks a little shocked at my comeback, but it only lasts for a few seconds. His self-assured smile is back and I don’t find it any less attractive than I did before. If anything, his confidence is a super big turn on for me. “The only person who will be choking on
anything
tonight is you, my dear, when I shove my cock straight into your pretty little mouth.”

I gasp. He did not . . . oh my god, he did! He just went fucking alpha on me—he went alpha on me and I’m actually turned on by it
. Exactly how much did I drink tonight, and at what percentage of alcohol did my body start craving to be dominated?
“Do you kiss your mother with that dirty mouth of yours? Or do you have to bathe your tongue in hand sanitizer first.”

“Oh trust me, Baby, there are things I do with my tongue even hand sanitizer wouldn’t be able to fix.” The thought of his tongue doing dirty things to me makes my legs scissor together. He notices and that smile of his slowly crawls across his face.

“I’m so
not
your baby. Baby is a derogatory term men use when they can’t remember a woman’s name. It’s condescending, not to mention rude on all accounts.”

He smiles again, my puss practically purrs every time he does it. I’m gonna have to pet her when I get home to get me through the night.

“It’s also a term of endearment. When I use it, it’s not because I don’t remember your name . . . it’s because I like you enough to give you a pet name.”

“If I wanted a pet name, I’d buy a dog. Do me a favor and buzz off; you’re killing the mood here.”

“Mood? Last time I checked, you were deflecting me with your bitchy sarcasm, and turning me on with your banging ass and voluptuous bosom.”

“Do people actually say bosom anymore?”

“I think I just did,” Caleb quips. “I’m going to make it a thing again. I’m saying goodbye to the boobs of my past and welcoming the bosom of my future.” His eyes focus on my girls and he licks his lips.

“Hello? Last time I checked, my eyes didn’t migrate to my boobs. Do you mind focusing up here again, you perve?” The more he talks, the less attracted to him I get. Then he smiles and the fact that his voice is so boring doesn’t even matter to me. I need to stop this crap before I fall any further into the deep dark hole he’s leading me to. He’s like the White Rabbit, only cocky and lacking a pocket watch.

He shakes his head, still smiling. “Has anyone told you that your sassiness is quite intoxicating?”

“Has anyone told you that your voice could make a baby cry?”

“What’s wrong with my voice?” he asks, a little confused.

Besides the fact it has no accent whatsoever, nothing.

“What’s not wrong with it? It’s annoying, and I’d rather listen to Celine Dion gargle mouthwash than be forced to hear you talk for another second.”

“So you’re saying no to the ride then?” He grins.

God, stop doing that!

“No,” I answer quickly. “I’m saying if I go home with you, you will have to stop talking.” Yup, he knew exactly what he was doing with that smile.

“Wait, are you saying you want me to shut up?”

“That would be helpful, yes.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” he asks, completely dumbfounded.

Just for added emphasis, I pull out my phone and dial a taxi service. The lady picks up on the second ring. “Yes, hi, I need a taxi . . .”

Caleb takes the phone away from me and hangs it up.

“Excuse me; I was making a phone call.” I’m trying not to laugh. This crazy flirt thing we have going on is really turning me on.

Caleb doesn’t say a word. He grabs my wrist and tugs me behind him.

“Hey, where are we going?” I ask him. He stops, makes a motion of him driving a vehicle, then turns and keeps walking. Oh, I see what’s going on, he’s actually shutting up. I can work with this . . .