Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U) (4 page)

“Your hand is already messed up. Why intensify that by sending yourself to the hospital again? What happened anyway? Your hand looks like shit.” He looks down at his cast and shrugs.

“I got in a fight with a mirror and the mirror won.”

“It must have been one big bad mirror to leave your hand looking like a mummy. At least, you picked a good color for the cast; blue has always been your color, but then again, so has pink.” I expect him to smile but he doesn’t. “Okay, Humorless Hal, who stole your cookies?”

“Humorless Hal? You’re a dork. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Too bad, you’re going to spill your guts. Otherwise, I’m going to tell Mom and Dad about that time you threw a party at the house, broke that vase worth ten grand only to replace it with a cheap knockoff.” Yes, I will blackmail my brother to get what I want. What good is being a little sister if you can’t use your arsenal of useless information against your sibling?

“You wouldn’t dare,” he argues.

“Watch me. Now spill.”

“You know blackmail is a federal offense,” he groans. “Fine, Breezy has a boyfriend and I moved out.”

“There has to be more to it than that. You’re a freakin’ zombie, Max. That’s not how you are. You’re a happy person. You don’t just shut yourself up in a room and sulk.”

“Well, now I am.”

Max pushes his plate away from him and puts his head in his hands. “I told her I loved her. I told her to pick me instead of him. We made love, Ev. That’s big! It was the first time I’ve never worn a condom. I was saving that for her—the only girl I wouldn’t mind getting pregnant. I want to marry her, but she chose the douchebag Numbers Man.”

Well, that changes everything. If he was just jealous that Breezy had a boyfriend, I could understand him being all mopey, but making love . . . that’s difficult even for me. I’m not even sure his usual fix-me-fuck can help him get through this. The only person who can fix this mess is Breezy.

“Wow, I can’t believe you two finally had sex . . .”

He cuts me off. “We didn’t have sex. We didn’t fuck. We fucking made love. I’m serious, Everly, making love is in a whole different realm. It was so much more than me sticking my dick in her. It was filled with emotion, and love, and just everything.” An actual tear drips down his cheek, and my entire body wells up. I want to console him, but that wouldn’t help the situation at all.

I nod like I understand, but the truth is, I’ve never made love to anybody before. Sure, I’ve said I love you a couple times in the past, but love could smack me in the face and I still wouldn’t have a clue what it was.

“Maybe she will come around. Maybe this time apart will make her realize that she really loves you, leave Numbers Man, and knock on our front door, professing her undying love for you. It would be total movie material; she’ll probably bring a boom box and play your favorite song while standing on a car.”

“Really?
Say Anything
and John Cusak are not going to help my situation.”

“You just need to find some other girl to distract you. You used to do that all the time before. What about tomorrow night? Find a cute girl, take her back to her place, fuck the shit out of her, and forget all about Breezy being gone.”

“I think I just want to drink. I’ve cried so much in the last seven days I’m borderline dehydrated. I’m not the kind of guy who cries, and look at me . . . losing Breezy has me pretending to be a water fountain.” He wipes his eyes. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t want to cry in public anymore.”

“Okay, Max. I hope you know that I love you. I wouldn’t have come all this way if I didn’t.”

He takes my hand and smiles. “You truly are the best little sister a guy could have—even if you did try to blackmail me.”

“What can I say? I’m a closet extortionist.”

“You’re also a floozy and a master impressionist. You totally live up to the accent hussy nickname I gave you.”

I laugh. “I can’t help it if I prefer foreign cock.”

He shudders. “Oh god, not this again. Please, I can’t handle the cock talk anymore. Why can’t you go back to being the little sister who wore her hair in pigtails and jump-roped all the time.”

“Oh, I still wear my hair in pigtails, especially when I’m role playing as a school girl in the bedroom.”

“La la la, I can’t hear you,” Max yells.

“You don’t want to know what I do with my jump rope now, either.” I make the sound of a whip and Max pales.

“I’m just messing with you, Max. I would never dishonor a jump rope like that . . . that’s what riding crops are for.” I wink at him and he groans.

“You suck, Everly. Now I’m not going to sleep tonight with that vision of gross stuck in my head. I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with my pillow, too.”

I pretend to curtsey and laugh, “Looks like my job is done for the day.”

At least, I got Max smiling again. That moping around the house he was doing was quite possibly the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s no way I’m ever letting him get that bad again. Tomorrow, I’m fixing this . . . there will be no more Mopey Monster, just the fun, easy-going brother I know and love.

Ahhhh, there’s nothing like the smell of skunky alcohol, cheap perfume, and a really bad rendition of a Kelly Clarkson song to set the right karaoke mood.

It’s Friday night, Max’s friends have somehow talked him out of the hole he walled himself up in. I’m actually ecstatic to be here. Since Jessi hasn’t been around to keep me company and I don’t really have any friends, it will be nice to get to know some of the people that have kept my brother busy while I’ve been away.

The pathetic look on my brother’s face as we enter makes me want to punch him. I know he doesn’t want to be here, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to let him bring down my karaoke buzz. I don’t have the guts to get up there and sing myself, but watching the other people try is on my list of the top five things that make me laugh. For instance, right now, there is an overweight Asian woman singing,
Because of You.
She sounds like a donkey mating with a cat that’s being fucked by a horse.
Yup, she’s that good.

Max’s sad eyes migrate to the bar, and he ogles it like there’s not enough alcohol in the world to make him feel better. I smack him hard on the arm. “No wallowing. Tonight, we’re having fun, possibly getting you laid in the process.”

“I’m not sure having fun and getting laid is possible tonight. My dick just doesn’t get happy anymore.”

“Well, I’ve heard pussy is a natural cure for an unhappy dick. Seriously, it’s like a reverse enema.”

“You’re disgusting.” He’s laughing and smiling. I’ll take being disgusting if it makes him happy.

“Sorry, I had to take a basic nursing class while in school. I learned a lot.”

“What does a basic nursing class have to do with business?”

“Nothing, I took it before I picked my major. I saw blood and had to change a bedpan, one semester and I ran for the hills. Everly and bodily fluids don’t mix like that,” I smile. “So where are these friends of yours?”

Max scans the crowd until his eyes land on a booth in the corner of the room. With a hand on my elbow and he guides me through the people until we stop in front of it. A short, plump girl with brown eyes and curly brown hair to her shoulders is sitting there when we arrive. She looks really fun and outgoing. Her wide smile tells me she already knows who I am.

“You must be Max’s sister! I’m Maggie!” she exclaims.

“Everly,” I tell her. “Thanks for inviting me, Maggie. My brother here is a bit of a dud right now. He needs to get fucked immediately. Where’s the girl you set him up with?” I eye the tall, dark, and handsome whose arm is around her. He’s quite possibly the sexiest black man I’ve ever seen; he almost puts Shemar Moore to shame—almost. I’m wondering if they are just friends, but then he bends in and kisses Maggie’s hair. He’s got those stardust eyes I hear so much about. Stardust eyes are when a couple meet, jump straight into dating, and look into each other’s eyes like there is no one else on the planet they’d rather look at. Whoever this guy is, he definitely has stardust eyes for Maggie. They’re so cute together.

I feel Max’s glare even without looking at him. He must not be happy about the idea of being set up so soon after Breezy.
Tough shit, Max. Deal with it.

“She’s running behind. She should be here in a bit. Everly, this is my boyfriend Dashawn. I practically had to drag him here. He hates karaoke.”

“How can anyone hate karaoke? Check out that chick on the stage. She’s awesome!” I yell over the music. “She’s got the donkey mating call down pat.” The overweight Asian woman is just finishing up her song. I’m practically in love with her already. She’s what I would call a professional karaoke master. She’s horrible at singing but has the stage presence of Britney Spears before her breakdown. She commands that stage and demands everyone’s attention while assaulting their ears with her incredibly off pitch, and almost queasy rendition of the song. She’s perfect and I adore her.

Maggie giggles. “Max, you never told me your sister was funny.”

“I didn’t know,” Max mumbles. He’s looking at me strangely. I wonder what he’s thinking about. There is a round of drinks on the table and Max grabs a beer, chugging it like it’s water.

“Geesh, Max, slow down,” Dashawn scolds. “Your date isn’t even here yet.” Wow, Dashawn has a sexy, deep voice. There’s a little bit of southern twang in it—just enough to make me believe he has a tiny accent hidden deep down inside of him.

“So, Everly, how long you in town for?” Maggie asks, diverting my attention away from her boyfriend.

“This weekend, but I graduate in a month and plan on moving back home. I miss it here. I gotta find a job, though, which sucks.”

“What’s your major?” Dashawn asks.

“Business, I’m not sure where I’m going to take that either.”

Dashawn’s face lights up. “Max, you didn’t tell her?”

“Tell me what?” I question while taking a sip of my drink. Maggie bought me a margarita. I must thank her for that later on. I notice that she keeps looking around the bar. I despise being the third wheel, hopefully, Max’s date will get here soon.

Maybe I can find someone to keep me company. Most of the people here aren’t very attractive. If this were a club, half these people wouldn’t be able to get in. Nevertheless, I scan the crowd. I almost give up my search for a worthy companion until my eyes meet his.

Across the room, sitting in a booth with a couple friends is quite possibly the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. He has a boyish look to him. Sandy blonde hair dangles into the most gorgeous teal-colored eyes I’ve ever seen. A light blue t-shirt cuddles each muscle across his torso. He’s not as ripped as my brother, but those arms should be bronzed and hung on my wall—they’re that hot. He smiles at me from across the room. Oh my god that smile! It’s an instant vagina wetter. He winks at me and I find myself blushing.
Holy shit!
God, I hope he has an accent
.

“I’m getting my own gym. I asked Max here to be my partner. We’re looking for a business manager.” Dashawn’s voice interrupts the eye-fucking I’m doing of the blonde dreamboat across the bar, and it takes me a few seconds to process what he’s saying.
Max is opening a gym? I’m looking for a job . . . this couldn’t be any more perfect.

“No shit? Max, why didn’t you tell me?” I yell. My karaoke goddess finishes her song and is replaced by an older gentleman with a pretty wicked beard. He starts singing some old school song—one I don’t know the name of but have heard before.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Max says, motioning for another beer. The waitress brings him his drink, and he starts gulping it down just like the first one. Mr. Killer Smile is staring at me again; I feel my cheeks warming even more. His sexiness is so distracting. I must divert my eyes from this fascinating sex god. It’s time to focus on establishing a career for myself.

“Well, I’m deciding for you. He’s in. I’m applying for your business management position. I’m organized and driven. I’m also dedicated to fitness, if you couldn’t tell. I have HR experience working for a small trucking company. If you need someone to pay your employees, I’m your girl!” I suddenly sound like I’m in the middle of a job interview, but I don’t care. Right now, I need this job.

“You’re hired,” Dashawn exclaims excitedly.

“Wait, don’t I get a say in this? There’s no way I want to work with her scrawny ass every day,” Max grumbles.

I’m not scrawny and he knows it.

“You don’t have a choice. I’m perfect for the position!” Max must see my line of vision because he turns his head and glares at my sex candy. A look of recognition flashes in my brother’s eyes and the guy waves at Max.

“Hey, isn’t that Caleb?” Dashawn asks.

“Yeah,” Max answers.
Oh no, he’s coming over here.
I knew I should’ve stopped eye molesting him. Now he thinks I want him. Okay, so maybe I do, but what if he doesn’t have an accent? What if my fantasy has to end now?

“Hey Max, Dashawn, how’s it hanging?” Well shit! There goes the insta-attraction I felt towards him. I can feel my pussy drying up with each word that falls from those succulent lips of his. Normal voices just don’t do it for me. He smiles at me, but I look away and sip my drink. Who cares if his biceps and shoulders look like molded works of art? Not me. Nope, I’m not drooling over those cannons.

I wipe my mouth.

“We’re hoping Max here will cheer the fuck up and get up on that stage to sing some karaoke,” Maggie answers. “I’m thinking
It’s Raining Men
. You and Dashawn can sing backup. I’m Maggie, by the way. I’ve seen you around the gym. You have a very nice right hook.”

“Right hook?” I ask, breaking my attempt to ignore him.

Caleb grins. “I’m a light-weight boxing champ. I’m hoping to be a professional fighter within the next year. I’m really good.”
Hell yeah he’s a boxer; that smile of his practically knocked me on my ass.
This won’t happen. I refuse to lower my standards just because the guy ticks off every single physical characteristic I want in a man. I try not to look him in the eyes, but the minute I do, I feel myself sigh and I freak out
. Nope. Not a chance.
It’s time to paint on my resting bitch face and give this guy the what for. I look up at him and roll my eyes.

Max chuckles. “This is my sister, Everly,” he introduces me. Great, now he knows my name. I didn’t want him to know my name.

“Beautiful name, for a beautiful girl.”

I almost sigh again, but I stop myself.

“Hey Caleb, it would be in your best interest not to hit on my sister while I’m in the room. I like you, but I
will
punch you in your goddamn mouth.” Aww, Max is trying to be tough. How cute. Too bad I can take care of my own damn self.

“Don’t worry, Max. He’s not my type. I don’t date cocky,” I smart, glaring up at Caleb.

Caleb laughs. “I’m not cocky baby, I’m honest.”

Ugh. Did he really just call me baby? If he continues to talk like this, that small attraction I have for him will disappear faster than it came.

“Honestly cocky. Do you mind? We’re trying to have a good time tonight, and your ego is sucking away my buzz. Now, shoo, go away.” I dismiss him with my hands. He stares at me like I just sucker-punched him in the face.
Sorry honey, but not everyone is going to fall for that shit-ton of charisma you have going on.
Caleb looks at Max in confusion.

“She’s a ball buster man, what can I say?” Max tells him.

“Um, nice meeting you all,” Caleb says looking down at me. We hold each other’s stare for a few seconds before he speaks. “Especially you, with the mouth.” He’s staring at my lips like they’re made of candy. I’m suddenly feeling very warm again.

“Did you forget my name already?” I yell at him, trying to lighten the sexual tension vibrating between us.

“Nope.” He winks, turns on his heels and walks away. I admire his ass the entire time he goes. Holy crap, is that ass made out of titanium? It’s like pure muscle and perfectly sculpted.

“Ugh, are all muscled men morons?” I ask, turning towards Maggie.

“Hey, I take offense to that,” Max shouts.

I grab my brother’s t-shirt and lift it up, showing Maggie and Dashawn the bazillion pack he’s hiding behind the flimsy white fabric. “See what I mean? Muscles.” I point to Max’s head. “Moron.”

“You’re an ass,” Max scolds. He messes up my hair and I glare at him.

“I can’t help it if your IQ matches your body type.”

“One of these days your mouth is going to get you in trouble.” Oh, he wants to play like that, does he? Well, two can play this game.

“Of course, my mouth gets me into trouble. I’m awesome at giving . . .” My voice trails off, turning into a fit of giggles when Max pales.

“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” Max covers his ears and both Maggie and Dashawn laugh.

“You can totally tell that you two are siblings,” Maggie exclaims.

“Don’t remind me,” Max grumps.

“Aww, Max. You love me and you know it.” I know my brother loves me. He can’t help it. I’m adorable